I'm dumb - opened a can of worms...

[NewMan]

So what your saying is - reverse this onto her.

When she calls me next time - and she will call me when she figures I'm not calling her - I reverse the whole thing around. Tell her how I'm banging such and such a chick and she's the best thing since sliced bread...... Which is not far from the truth, because even though my ex is playing games - I'm still going out there doing my thing and seeing other women.

But I guess that the rub isn't it?

You've got to flick off that switch in the back of your head that's labelled "React" - and not have an emotional reaction to what she's telling you.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by NewMan
So what your saying is - reverse this onto her.

When she calls me next time - and she will call me when she figures I'm not calling her - I reverse the whole thing around. Tell her how I'm banging such and such a chick and she's the best thing since sliced bread...... Which is not far from the truth, because even though my ex is playing games - I'm still going out there doing my thing and seeing other women.

But I guess that the rub isn't it?

You've got to flick off that switch in the back of your head that's labelled "React" - and not have an emotional reaction to what she's telling you.

No what I'm saying is this whole drama thing she is doing is about HER...it has very little to do with you or even how she still feels about you.

Women do this kind of thing all the time after a break up...they wanna see if your suffering and still care about THEM. It has nothing really to do with you or how she feels about you.

She has come to the conclusion that dating is hard out there and now she is worrying about wether or not she will ever find someone again.

She is just lonely...and running scared. It will pass as soon as a eligible man comes along who shows her interest (providing he meets her standards)

 

[NewMan]

So bottom line - I'm fvcked pretty much - assuming I'd want to see where things would lead between us....

 

[Walldorf]

Hi Newman,

I guess I know how you feel, I have been through something similar lately. If I got it right, the relationship ended mainly since you have banged another girl (so it was kind of your fault). So of course you are feeling guilty that it was you, who destroyed everything. In such a case it is very hard to regain trust (by giving in) and at the same time not becoming a pvssy. You have to give in somewhat (show that you care), but there is a huge risk that the other person plays the "guilt card" and then whatever you will do to regain trust will work against you.
After having read Slickster Advice (which was awesome) I guess my original stand on the situation was somewhat biased. As far as I can see she is using your guilt (stringing you along at least on a subconscious level) to make a pvssy out of you...so yes you are kind of fvcked...

So bottom line - I'm fvcked pretty much - assuming I'd want to see where things would lead between us....

That is true, but only as long as you think there will be any chance with her in the short run, which will not be the case (at least not leading to anything meaningfull!). It maybe hard to accept, but this is a lost cause for the moment. The way she is behaving is making it impossible for you to regain the relationship and keep your dignity at the same time (so even if you would manage to get her back, she will probably go for another guy as soon as she finds someone) . You have done your steps to say you are sorry, but doing anything more will make her loose any respect (if there is still any left) for you...she is not willing to accept that, so move on. You give excellent advise to other people, just do the same thing yourself you would advise other people to do...

Good Luck

 

[Player_Supreme]

What do you mean fawked...you've moved on and your living the good life now. From watching your posts you have no desire to go back to a life with her? Why would you even consider it?

I hope you don't think things will get better from what I've read of your ex? Thats delusional matrix shyt to believe something like this.


This woman has you all emotional right now. I've been watching your posts and I thought you were above this kind of shyt NewMan.

You need to step back and look at things without your heart being involved. If your actually not calling her back as you say you are then it's driving her crazy...women can't stand to think that somebody isn't still interested in THEM.

Like I said they come back around sniffing to smell if your still interested so that they can feel good about themselves.

This isn't all women but I would say most.

Spend sometime fawking a few of your dates and lounging around with them to try to take your mind off this issue.

Call her back in a week or so if you still feel symped out.

Of course nobody knows the true extent of your life but yourself and you need to make your own decisions.

 

[NewMan]

Right - I have no desire to go back to a life of how it was.

But again, there is the rub.

Example.....

I don't know how many times I tried to drag her out to just get some drinks with my friends and I - but she would be anti - drinking, because she felt like crap the next day. Guess what happened after we broke up - yeah, she';s out partying with her friends, drinking etc.

I see how she is now - and I think - thats the kind of girl I'm looking for. Thats how we were at the start of the relationship - where did that person go?

Actually - I know - she was serverly depressed because of the sh#t she was getting at her job - she now has a new one.


I've said this many times.

It easy to replace the physical aspect of a relationship - but not the connection.

It's hard replacing a HB9 +.

It's hard finding women thats quality.

One that takes care of herself - hair, clothes, nails, Waxed a## and Pvssy - thats also got integrity.

Again, it's easy to replace physical relationships - but the chemistry is a bigger proposition.

I'm not a fvcking dummy by any means - but the back and forth BS is fvcking with my mind - and I know I have to stop that sh#t.

Last example.

Last time I to,d her not to call me - she did not for a month. Then called me. Told me that she'd fvcked up, that she had hurt and been flaky to many people and realized she was not happy. Asked me to go out that night.

Dumm ass here went out with her - we went to a bar, got some drinks and hung out.

There she told me that she'd have to put in effort - I said for what - she told me to show you that I'm still fun and still up for partying.

Now why the fvck would she say that to me if she was not interested.




Ok - I got the message anyway.

NEXT.

 

[Slickster]

Newman,

This might come off sounding mean but I think you need to hear it from an outsiders point of view.

You keep telling us how great this chick is because the way she looks and her integrity, and the chemistry and connection the two of you had.

Well I'm sure everyone who has read your posts and has read the things she has done to you will agree with me.

This Girl is FvCKED!!!!

I don't care how good she looks or how great you think she is as a person. She is messed in the head man. And she's messing with yours! Until she proves otherwise forget about her man. You can do better.

Peace.

 

[NewMan]

Your right.

And it's not like thats not something I would not do - or have not done.

I've done it before and will do it again.

You are right - it matters not how she looks etc. etc. Just pointing out that it's very difficult to replace something like that.

My issue I guess has been, when somone from your past calls you back and tells you sh#t like - I made a mistake, didn't realise what I had etc. etc. - you see changes in them - what then?

If you don't open up that possibility then you may regret that in the future. If the chick's a phsyco b#tch - or cheater etc. then fair enough - no going back.

Thats not the case though. More like - she wanted marrage I didn't.

So it's more of a point of - well she's telling me she wants more - but then backing the fvck off when I show interest again.


It's not like I know upfront that it's going to happen.

Anyways, mute point.

She's NEXT'D

I guess the bigger picture is, at what point do you say - well I'll give this a chance? what, if anything does the chick need to do.

We are not dealing with highschool chicks here...