I'm done with this chick but was just wondering if this is a BPD case...

[MikeTampa]

Just a side note that I realized this afternoon that I had actually forgotten about:

About two weeks ago, we were in bed and she asked me if I would come to Costa Rica with her to her sister's vacation home the first week in December. I had actually thought that sounded cool and priced some tickets with American Airlines. I put the tickets on hold on a Thursday night thinking I'd ask my boss on Friday about some vacation time. He was out on Friday, I never got to ask, she stopped talking to me that weekend. I would have been stuck with tickets to Costa Rica had I not had that good fortune. Makes you laugh sometimes.....

 

[christopher09]

She was parading you to re-affirm to herself and significant others in her life that she "still has it" - that means her ability to attract and snare a cool guy.
You had served your purpose in re-building her ego by participating in this charade .

She got cold feet when she thought that you probably wanted to have a "real " relationship . To a BPD woman that feels like encroaching "engulfment" - she might have to actually BE in a 'big girl' relationship !! Holy crap ..that means he will have demands and expectations . THat is way too terrifying . She believes that such a deal would never work out and you are surely going to dump her down the road so she pulls out first. The FB deal was her way of "distancing " herself . IT was also a power play to control the connection with you on HER terms.
Good for you that you turned this down and remained true to your ethics .

Thats it right there........that's were she went one way and FORCED you BY DEFAULT, TO GO THE OPPOSITE. Yeah, youre a great guy and tried to be respectful etc, but she doesnt get that...girls like her NEVER will. Ive dealt with this recently and you have to just keep ignoring her. Honestly, i'm sure you have feelings for her still and i know its hard sometimes, even spinning plates...but keep doing what youre doing. I went through this Mike, and it was hard because all along i knew she was a whack job, yet it took me several attempts to FINALLY kick her out of my head. Girls like this are NOT the typical girls that play the game...Like jophil and KNTRX say...they touch the DEEPEST parts of you...say the things that the other AW's dont. This will go on for a bit, stand strong...

For example, you deleted her number, but that wont stop you from looking down and seeing her BULLSH1T text message that gets RIGHT into your heart instantly. It also wont stop her from calling and leaving you a message touching the deepest parts of your emotions. I had even gone as far as blocking her number at one point, but i personally felt like that move was giving her the "power" back as it was stamping into my head the thought that i couldnt be man enough to take her BS text/calls without responding or showing her any emotional reaction. Soon thereafter came the day that i took the block off, and just watched her calls come and go...text come and go...never responding. Text messages would come in, i had stored her number under XXX..that way when i looked down, lol all i saw was X and i deleted...hell Mike i never even looked at her weeks of txts...couldnt tell you what any of them said, but man i laughed thinking about it. The phone calls with voicemails....i just deleted right away, not even hearing her voice. It makes me feel much better to see her BEGGING to see me and getting ABSOLUTELY NO REPLY. Just understand this, if you have a bit of feelings for her still, this is not over yet. She will make more attempts to suck you back in, but you have to keep up what youre doing. In time, you will look back and laugh at her pathetic attempt to play you. Good luck -

P.S..She STILL sends messages periodically, but the calls have tapered off. Just this weekend, she sent me a simple text about a college football game score, as she KNOWS im all about NCAA football.

How pathetic she is, it just makes me feel so good to see her STILL essentially trying to sell her disorder to me...i dont buy from her store anymore.

 

[Nutz]

reading statements like these triggers something in my brain that tells me i am learning something.

Same. These are things I hadn't really considered before. Looking at it in print I see why it's off kilter. Had a woman said that to me, I'd be flattered and stoked she's that into me. But in the grand scheme of things it's a huge red flag about her relationship history.

 

[Nutz]

Mike you nailed it with your last post. 2 things we should never accept as DJ's:
1) You don't pay other mens damage bills
2) Everybody is responsible for what they get themselves into. She was the only common denominator in her past failed relationships. Whether her ex beat her, cheated on her etc. Whlile she may not have brought it on, her selection process may have allowed it. That's a big part of why there's so much drama in SS. When posters realize that they alone are responsible for what they get into, it pulls the wool from over their eyes and they SEE that women aren't evil, or cruel, or whatever. They are what they are.
I used to get mad when a woman did something disrespectful. Know what? I now get a grin and now KNOW what her charecter is. I may be disappointed, but I don't get angry. She's just helped me in the selection process. That's POWER!
Looks like this one has done the same for you, and you are reacting similarly. That's a good place to be my friend!

KC

100% completely agree. Very well said!!!

 

[MikeTampa]

FWIW, I got a text at 11:52pm on Friday night from her (33yr old that got scared and stopped talking to me) that simply said "Hi." I was actually with another chick and didn't know who it was from at first as I had deleted her number, but Blackberries keep old text threads alive, so when I clicked into it, I saw it had a trailing text from her from late October.

Just thought you guys might get a laugh out of it. I was actually on my way to dropping off the other chick at home, so I simply texted back "Hi." just as she had sent me. I got no response....but did get a laugh out of it to myself. You guys were right, she did contact me after all. At first, I thought it was an attempt to setup a booty call, but when I received no further texts, I just went to sleep (didn't lose sleep over it either). I figure she's testing the waters to see if I'll be receptive to her reaching out. I don't have any ill feelings, and I've got two other plates (both new) so texting back really is no skin off my back. The worst that happens is she doesn't respond. The best is that she's desperate and I get to nail her again.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Nail her again? You going BB on us? Cause one of the laws of power is to avoid the unhealthy. Nailing her....nope. My spin would be to stay NO CONTACT. She's a fruit loop Mike. Let her be some other guys problem.

KC

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Tampa,
This Lady is not Bi Polar......Believe me if you meet one of these unfortunate creatures,you wont have to ask for a diagnosis.....luckily I only got involved with one.... It was really quite disturbing things were just cruising along beautifully,we were on a Picnic in the Country.....then just like a Sudden Summer Storm She just turned on me......No reason,no build up,she just went quiet for a while,then went berserk....seems they are just responding to some primitive irresistable urge ...When they are off the trolley they are as if possessed,the voice becomes unrecognisable as they scream and shout,mine actually attacked me with superhuman strength nasty experience....Your one is just a harmless little Alley cat who has found another Tom or she just got bored with you.