im confused, help

[princesimba]

hi, this is my first post. I consider myself to be rather experienced with women. I've never read any help material on this site (maybe its time i do!), but there hasn't been a women that i wanted to attract that i've failed to.

until...

i met this girl. She's a real hot, but whats more attractive is the fact that a lot of guys are also after her, and that she has never had a boyfriend before!!! "Oh, all the guys i liked gave up on me. Im not easy" was her reason. And being me, i couldnt resist such a challenge, could i?

Turns out she really wasnt easy at all. Took me 3 DAYS just to get her out. She kept on wanting to postpone/cancel the date, but from her tone i could tell she wanted to go out with me And so we did. I told her i will surprise her, and i gave her quite a good one. She seem to like it, but she said she's not impressed though. Said she expected it, and that i wasnt the first guy to surprise her in such a manner. But after we left she sent me a text message, thanking me, said she liked it and even flirted a little. No mention of 2nd date though.

PLAYING HARD TO GET OR WHAT??! Im not used to girls being unimpressed after the first date. How dare she be unimpressed at me? I dont get it. I accused her of faking it. She accused me of having a big ego. We quarreled. I sent her a text to apologize abouut my ego the next day. She didnt reply. Eventually she did but its obvious something's not right (oh i didnt reply your text becos i didnt check my phone. bullcrap, i said to her)

Just what exactly is going on? This girl doesnt play clean. My gut feeling is telling me she's taking advice from her evil girlfriends (and she has a lotta of them) to act umimpressed to increase my curiosity in her, but i could be wrong. Is my ego really a problem? Im thinking of ignoring her, because im actually really pissed at her constant bulls!@#. Need help, thanks

 

[LoneWolf]

that's why i don't like dating "hot girls" - they make you jump hoops just to simply get to know them better. too many mind games for me man!

go find a decent non mind playing girl who is straight up with everything. like when i tell my gf, lets do something. she'll say no or yes. she's so easy going everything is smooth between us so far. no mind games.

 

[Poonani Maker]

that's why i don't like dating "hot girls" - they make you jump hoops just to simply get to know them better. too many mind games for me man!

go find a decent non mind playing girl who is straight up with everything. like when i tell my gf, lets do something. she'll say no or yes. she's so easy going everything is smooth between us so far. no mind games.

That can even happen with the not-so-hot ones, you know the ones with a glaring flaw that knocks her down a notch from the get-go, maybe a facial flaw, but hot body, you know, so..

Just yesterday, I had this girl I've already posted about fvcking her back in July/Aug all raring to come visit me (I'm out of town working, but about 40 miles from where she is right now). She's redhead. She was all excited about going to the best restaurant (all travel expenses covered on my trip) in the town I'm in, then going swimming, and back to my hotel. Weeell, you guessed it, She'd tooold me to call her today about our plans again for tomorrow evening, lo' and behold, when I call tonight, she's no longer up for it and flakes a day in advance. I know for a fact that it's another guy. I just know. But I really didn't even want to see her ugly face just to tap her hot little as5. Oh well, there are PLENTY of others. I'm happy she became ho hum in less than 24 hours. If I could show you our texts, her lol'ing about what we were going to do, swimming etc, you'd be amazed at how quickly the dumb broad could do a 180 in buying temp and no longer be interested as of this evening. Fvcking ridiculous, but..that's women for ya, fvcking unpredictable like the weather.

Anyway, I'll try to score some poon either tomorrow night or Saturday afternoon. Probably the latter, because I just won't feel up for it after work tomorrow even though I'm on vacation ALL next week, and you know what that fvckin means, a ton of fvckin coming right up. When I don't work, I'm really to mate.

 

[princesimba]

if i give up, i'll be just another one of those guys who gave up. HELL NO! I like challenges i admit, but i needa know whats the next move. Ignore? Scold her? I dunno man. Any interesting threads here that could be of use to me? Sorry im new haha

 

[Diaforetikos]

She's playing way too many games. And your giving her reason to. She gets all this attention from all these other fa**ots and your becoming one of em. You know she plays games, so bust her on her own sh!t.

It's your then to play the games you wanna play. If it was me, I'd tell her that "I'm not here to play no freakin games. This ain't monopoly! I'm here here because I want you, but if you wanna play games, I'm not that guy. Period."

If she doesn't like it, move on. She's hella immature. Get the booty and that's it. She is not relationship material.

 

[bankai]

Dude... the fact that you had 3 turn downs in a row AND you still stuck around put her in the position of power. I would've stopped at the 1st or 2nd turn down and left it there, I would've let her come to me.

 

[princesimba]

Dude... the fact that you had 3 turn downs in a row AND you still stuck around put her in the position of power. I would've stopped at the 1st or 2nd turn down and left it there, I would've let her come to me.

im sorry, i cant really identify a turn down. Which of what she did was a turn down that gave her power?

 

[princesimba]

You know she plays games, so bust her on her own sh!t.

How exactly do i do that? Go up to her and say "stop playing games"? Cos i like the sound of that

 

[LoneWolf]

you can't tell a girl to stop playing games. that's how they are. it's like telling me to stop playing my ps3. i can't stop, that's what i love. not to mention that would be a pretty AFC thing to do. just move on bro unless you like being a monkey jumping through her hoops.

 

[sinnerman]

if i give up, i'll be just another one of those guys who gave up. HELL NO! I like challenges i admit, but i needa know whats the next move. Ignore? Scold her? I dunno man. Any interesting threads here that could be of use to me? Sorry im new haha

i think you should stop doing anything special for her..ofcourse she likes it because she is getting free attention without working for it..next time she tells you about doing something for her like all other losers do tell her you will only do so after she earns it by doing something special for you..do it in a calm flirty way..most times the girl always asks what she can do..happened to me a few weeks back and i asked for a full body massage..so ask for something like that..when she thanked you for the surprise you should have told her that just saying thanks wont do..she's gonna have to reciprocate by cooking for you or giving u a backrub or something..the point here is to make her feel invested and not allow her to be on that pedestal.

 

[trrush]

she's already got you beat, she's making you try to impress her, just like every other guy. you also already apologized for your ego? why? she probably LIKED your ego.
maybe you should try something different, invite her to go with you when you heading to the do some chores or something and dont spend much money or time with her.
some girls are just too much trouble.

 

[princesimba]

alright. thanks all for the great advice. I guess i screwed up. I was really taken aback when she said she wasnt impressed, really didnt know how to react. But looking back now i guess thats exactly what she wanted.

Thats right, this girl is trouble. I'll just ignore her from now on and if she wants my attention shes gonna have to earn it. And thats right, theres nothing wrong with my ego. Maybe i shouldnt have accused her of faking it, but still theres nothing wrong with my ego. If she ever talks to me again (and im sure she will) i'll let her know that perfectly clear.

Thank you guys!

 

[bankai]

well she said she wasn't impressed... that was a hook. You fell for it by going "WHATT??? AWWW NO WAY #*&^#@&^%@##%$@"

I would've turned it around on her and gave her the same attitude. "who said I was trying to impress you?"

But that wouldn't have worked because you told her in the first place you would try to impress her.

Just move on man, lesson learned. There are TONS of good looking girls in the world, it's quality of character that you want.

 

[princesimba]

one more question

So what is the line between making a woman feel pursued, and letting a woman pursue you? How do you know which to employ?

Cos from my experience, some women genuinely want to be pursued, and no they wont play games...

 

[I'm in the Mood]

PLAYING HARD TO GET OR WHAT??! Im not used to girls being unimpressed after the first date. How dare she be unimpressed at me? I dont get it. I accused her of faking it. She accused me of having a big ego. We quarreled. I sent her a text to apologize abouut my ego the next day. She didnt reply. Eventually she did but its obvious something's not right (oh i didnt reply your text becos i didnt check my phone. bullcrap, i said to her)

Just what exactly is going on? This girl doesnt play clean. My gut feeling is telling me she's taking advice from her evil girlfriends (and she has a lotta of them) to act umimpressed to increase my curiosity in her, but i could be wrong. Is my ego really a problem? Im thinking of ignoring her, because im actually really pissed at her constant bulls!@#. Need help, thanks

It sounds like she's got game and you've never dated a girl with game before.

She's losing interest in you fast, because you appear to really want her validation and started getting frustrated when she wasn't "showing interest."

Dude, next time a girl says "You have a big ego", instead of arguing, tell her that's not all you've got!

 

[princesimba]

It sounds like she's got game and you've never dated a girl with game before.

Hell yeah, she's got game!!! o.o

So whats your take on what i should do now? Forget about her?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Well man, the problem sounds like you got too interested in her too fast. We all have this problem from time to time, and it's a habit that real men must grow out of in order to succeed in life. It's the need for validation from a woman...and I don't think there's a defining word for it out there, but you could call it neediness.

Now you don't want to don't forget about her, but you do want to move on with your life. Leave this problem you're having behind, and leave your worries behind along with it. You need to regain your composure, and that won't be possible if you continue to pursue this one girl.

Now if she calls you, it's okay to talk to her, but you can't go out of your way to date this girl again. What you really need to do now is move on with your life, and have fun with it!

 

[princesimba]

well she said she wasn't impressed... that was a hook. You fell for it by going "WHATT??? AWWW NO WAY #*&^#@&^%@##%$@"

Just a thought, and heck yes this girl got me thinking a lot just by being/acting unimpressed, zzz.

Well as much as i believe that yes it was a hook, what are the chances that she really wasn't impressed? To make things clearer, i might as well tell you guys what the surprise is. I brought her to somewhere nice and sandy, and i played the guitar and sang to her, Camp Rock style. Its just something i like to do outta my free time. I cannot really sing, but still its nice, no girl could've not liked it, and i think i even caught her blushing once or twice during the songs. But assuming she was telling the truth (she really saw it coming and another guy already did that to her before), that should be enough to make her genuinely unimpressed, isn't it...??

Tell me what you guys think thanks

 

[trrush]

you got no where to go but down from here. such a nice thing you did for her and what has she done for you?
small dates next time.

 

[Igetit!]

Tell me what you guys think thanks

What do we think? Hmm. Well dude, think that Trush was RIGHT ON THE MONEY.


This girl's was playing you for a chump. I believe her "I'm not impressed" line was just a test,a test to which you FAILED.


First of all,you're the MAN HERE. You shouldn't be trying to "impress" anyone in the first place. You already had her interest. The simple fact that she even agreed to go out with you in the first place means there was attraction there on her part,otherwise she wouldn't wasted her time with you.



You allowed that one tiny little remark from her to shake your confidence....and don't think she didn't notice. Even if she was telling the truth and indeed wasn't impressed,that's not the point,the point is.....


WHY she told you that.


Most people would be "nice" or "polite" when face with something they don't like. She FLAT OUT TOLD YOU she wasn't impressed. You say you wonder if your ego may be a problem or not. Uhh.....ya think?



You must have said or did something that gave off the impression to her that you have a big ego,so apparently she decided to try and knock it down a notch or two with her remark. And on top of that,you actually got into an arguement with her over this,lol? :crackup:



You actually got into an arguement over whether she was impressed over something or not. lol,boy,that's a good one man. :crackup:


You let one little comment from her wreck everything. Man,if she had said that to me,I'd of been like,......"Huh? Not impressed? You mean after all the time,all the effort,after all the thinking and planning I put into this date,you're not impressed? Huh. Well that sucks. So umm....so does that mean we won't be making out later on tonight? I mean since the date sucked,something good's gotta come out of this.


Then her mind would have when to the two of you KISSING. You'd have ignited a bit of chemistry in her,the SAME CHEMISTRY that made her bother going out with you in the first place.



You let her steal the WHOLE FRAME with one little remark. Wow.

Well as much as i believe that yes it was a hook, what are the chances that she really wasn't impressed?

You still don't get it. The "Date" is YOU.


YOU ARE the date. It's not movies,or dinner,or clubs,it's YOU,it's the people involved.


The fact that she went out with you at all means that YOU and you ALONE,impressed her. You approached her,said whatever you said,then created a desire in her to want to spend time with you,to see you again in the future.




The way you acted and behaved during the approach IMPRESSED (or attracted) her. You should have continued that,but you didn't. You got threw off your "game" by her little remark.



If people have big egos,other people want to see them fall. If someone runs around all big-headed and bragging about something,people want to see them humbled. You must have in some way came off as conceited or arrogant about your date plans to her,so she decided to rain on your charcoal.



What you said or how you behaved that caused this,I don't know,but I do know this....your behavior itself didn't wreck things with her,it was HOW YOU REACTED to her comment that hurt you.



It makes you look bad. If you're going to have such a massive ego,then at least have the confidence to back it up. All she said was she wasn't impressed by the date,and it got you arguing and fighting with the girl,even apologizing to her. That makes your ego look like a fascade,a joke.



Stop being a chump dude.