I'm back, and I need DJ advice & opinions on how to get this HB8-9

CyranoDeBergerac

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Commenting on a slightly broader context

I have one question for you Rabid.

I'm reading your posts and I have to know; What is it about yourself that makes you automatically assume she's going to reject you? Of particular concern was the comment that you thought she was too hot to talk to. This isn't India, there isn't an unspoken caste system at work here.

1. Yes, but you have to capitalize on it.
2. Put one foot in front of the other until you're standing right next to her.
3. Speak to the group, not just to her.
4. Hi, I'm Rabid. (You know what I mean)

P.S.: All of this is contingent upon you answering my initial query and them realizing that whatever reason you have for being insecure is stupid, self-indulgent, and undeniably destructive.

-Cyrano
 

RabidDog

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What the hell happened to my thread? :eek: :confused: :p

Barbillus: Lurk more, k?

Maverick: I'm not getting all crazy about it, I'm just trieng to scrape the rust of my game. I am crap at CA's but I'm great in groups or one on one. This particular girl requires a seperation and a CA, so I'm concerned, I'm not running around screaming you know, lmao. I am concerned though that if this goes badly, then I'll have to see the girl every damned week, and I know it will spread amongst the group, to girl B (first girl I'm interested in, in the same group) So, yeah that would suck. I'm thinking 5 minutes max, and then number close.. then make myself busy until they leave. And, well I can't stand around for 20 minutes and talk if I wanted too. (that place keeps me busy with thefts, shootings, drug buys, hooking, you name it) I DO need to come up with a good intro though, suggestions?

Cyrano: Yeah, I have been doing that for a while now. My ex ****ed with my head very badly I'm afraid. I used to be in the area of 300 pounds, which I lost a year or two ago. So my self esteem was shot to hell a loooong time ago. When I lost the weight, got a decent cut, clothes and tude.. I started pulling girls left and right. Now, I've put on a few pounds over what I was, and my hair isn't in style like it was, (shaggy/semi long that was in a few months ago) plus my uniform (as I said I hate it, but some like it) and I wasn't even shaved for chrissakes. Not a beard by any means, just the 10'-O-clock-shadow-rugged thing.

Getting EC from a HB9 was the last thing I expected. Im half surprised I havent talked my self out of thinking that yet. (that she was looking at a pimple on my ear or something and not me, lol) So, I have to overcome all this, and have that ****yness back. I do it when Im not thinking about it obviously.. but the pressure gets me now-adays.

1. great, I'll try my damnedest
2. I can do that ;)
3. To the group? how is that and advantage over flock seperation?
4. Yes, yes I am..

Yes, most of it is self-doubt. I'm 6'2 blonde blue eyed, always been considered cute-hot and 230.. (carry it well at least) plus I'm outgoing, and I get comments on my eyes daily.. In fact any compliment I get I almost immediately start twisting it into them making some sort of joke about me. It truly sucks. The fact that she was insanely hot only makes it worse.

-Rabid
 
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CyranoDeBergerac

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How's this for an interesting fact:

As an extention of his relativity argument, Einstein correctly theorized that the level of psychological damage from a break-up varies proportionally with the amount of time/effort spent in the relationship. He called it his negative emotional return theorum.

Okay, so even if he didn't, the point is valid that no one plays with fire and get's away unsinged. What truly boggles the mind though is how much we let our exes determine our self worth after ending an LTR. You're no longer seeing that person because you've already proven to be incompatible and somehow the fact that you aren't perfect for them declares you unlovable? I've been through that part of the state (of mind) too, and I don't like the scenery.

So you're not going to be mistaken for anyone in Oceans' Eleven. You're hairstyle is sooooo five minutes ago? Mine hasn't been in style since the mid-sixties and I still pull because it works for me. You can tell the four harbringers of the apocalypse to hold their horses because its not the end of the world. You're tall, obviously good looking, you've got eyes that would stop a deer in its tracks, AND you have a general look/persona that makes a woman fantasize about being snowed into a cabin in the woods with nothing but a roaring fire, a bear skin rug and each other's body heat to keep warm. The problem here again is what?

You need confidence my friend. That magic little pill that makes everything else fall into line. There's a reason its one of the three C's. Confidence has nothing to do with her. It's all you. It's about knowing who and what you are, irregardless of anyone else. It's about knowing your strengths as well as your weaknesses, and its about knowing what you want. Right now you want her.

I advised you to endear yourself to the group first. This accomplishes several things:

1) Given the neighborhood and the nature in which you're both there, she's not walking around alone, so there's no way of getting around dealing with a group...at first.

2) It prevents her friends from C-Blocking. Most guys are too anxious and cut straight to the girl and mostly ignore the friends. This slights her friends because the subtext of your actions tells them that they don't matter, bringing out latent insecurities about their self-worth. This turns her friends against you and her friends have a much stronger pull on her than you do at this point. Don't make life any harder than it has to be.

3) Because she sees how much her friends like you, you've now attained strong social proof and cut through a major component in her B1tch shield.

4) If things don't work out (assuming things end amicably) this primes the group for when you move in on girl #2 who comforts you when girl #1 breaks your heart. ;)

This is how I strategically attack every situation. That having been said you can formulate a plan, but it usually goes out the window when you're standing there talking to her. The last thing you want to do is worry about tactics. Most guys fail because they're too much in their heads and not enough into her. Do not be that guy! You have enough of a personality that you should be able to pull through just being yourself anyway. BTW, CA might as well stand for Confident & Amiable because that's literally all there is to it. If you suck at CA's you haven't been trying.

This is a lot to say in so short a space, but I'm trying not to get into a lecture. Your next post should be a field report telling us how great it was when you asked her out and she melted at the knees (and in a few other places). I can speak for days but it means nothing if you don't go out and do, so go rock this Sh1t.

-CyranoDeBergerac
 

Maverick001

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Originally posted by Cutiepiie
lmaooooo


maverick is sucha FREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I BET HE ENJOYING THIS!!

Of course I'm enjoying busting you down a notch or two. How many other sosuavers have whipped you within 6 messages of an initial correspondence.

At any rate, I will defer to DJBen's assessment of you as an attention ho and so you're now cut-off from all Maverick attention for a period of one month. If you haven't been banned by Dec-17-2004, I'll bust on you some more at that time if you haven't checked in your brattiness before entering sosuave.
 

Maverick001

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Maverick: I'm not getting all crazy about it, I'm just trieng to scrape the rust of my game. I am crap at CA's but I'm great in groups or one on one. This particular girl requires a seperation and a CA, so I'm concerned, I'm not running around screaming you know, lmao. I am concerned though that if this goes badly, then I'll have to see the girl every damned week, and I know it will spread amongst the group, to girl B (first girl I'm interested in, in the same group) So, yeah that would suck. I'm thinking 5 minutes max, and then number close.. then make myself busy until they leave. And, well I can't stand around for 20 minutes and talk if I wanted too. (that place keeps me busy with thefts, shootings, drug buys, hooking, you name it) I DO need to come up with a good intro though, suggestions?
RabidDog,

Paizaan, it stills seems to me that you're too worried about the outcome and this will trip you up. Detachment is your ally here. Don't concern yourself with how it goes. Have fun with it.

You don't seem like you're going to give off a creepy, stalker vibe to your target babe so if it goes wrong and you see her again it should be cool. Don't sweat it bud.

CyranoDeBergerac's advice is solid. The aim is to get your target babe alone with you for a few minutes. I don't disagree with his suggestion to warm up the group first, just don't spend too much time doing it. That's the only qualifier I'd add.

Yes, I would agree that your gameplan of 5 minutes tops alone with your target HB9 is fine.

I didn't mean to sidetrack your thread. My bad for busting Cutiepiie's balls. It was so easy and she has to know that she will be called on each and everything she says on sosuave. I'm over it. I don't know if she's over it yet but I'm over it...:cool:

I've advised searching the forum for intro. openings and such but you seem adamant about getting this from replying members so here's one that has worked for me in the past:

Mav --- "Hi. How do you feel about displays of public affection?"

HB will answer in varying degrees of affirmative or negative.

Mav --- "Well, before we get to that you'll have to wine and dine me because I'm not cheap or easy and I'm picky."

This will only work if you've got a slightly ****y grin and she really doesn't know if you're serious or not.

As for the cold approach fear, I always suggest the same thing to anyone that wants to get over this. Go out with your buddies to your favourite club, pub, etc. and make a wager amongst the gang.

The game is to deliberately get as many rejections as you can after approaching 10 girls. The guy with the most rejections wins and the loser has to buy a round or something. This is loads of fun and you'll be surprised at the results.

You'll realize that getting rejected isn't bad at all and your confidence about it will definitely improve. Try it and see for yourself.

Tally Ho!

Cheers,
Mav
 

RabidDog

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Cyrano: Wow, I've never been so motivated and frightened by a post at the same time, in all my days on the net. Awesome post my man, it cleared up some of my questions and concerns. I spent all day yesterday, coming up with plan on top of plan, different scenarios, and failsafes for each one. I realised later, like you said, that plans go to hell when the prize is in front of you. You have to have a rough outline, and let instinct take over from there. So, that's what I'm going to try and do. Now, endearing myself to the group may not be possible. The groups change each time I've noticed. (must be to keep "clicks" from forming. My guess is it keeps the "fishing" more potent) and I don't have alot of time here. They are only in the building for about 15-20 minutes, then they go to the quad to gather, before the church meeting in the office/activity room near my desk. Afterwards, they sometimes hang out for about 10 minutes in a very tight group, or promptly (and I mean promptly) leave. (remember she gave me the EC while they were leaving, and once in the halls if I remember correctly, but I took it as a very different thing) So the group thing is not likely. The ideas you've given seem to be gold, but I'm not sure the groups are "friends" (see above) to me it seems like they are forced together. When they aren't doing their door-knocking, they have very little friendly interaction with each other that I've noticed, unless they get lucky and get mixed in with a friend. This was the girls first time there too, and from what I saw, not interactive with the group or the gathering much at all. (if she comes back, it will be for me ;) ) So.. my old ablilities and instincts say to do a hit and run on this one. I'll try and do the group thing as you recommend, but if I think it's going to go south based on the situation, I'll go with the seperate and CA then probably a number close. I have a rough plan for if I see her in the halls (I do rounds in the same building that the group does) but not really one for the quad scenario. If she comes it will be Thursday, failing some unforseeable church-leadership ****blocking fiasco.. :eek: So I have a few days to come up with one. You have given me good head checking, and I appreciate it alot. Thanks again.

Maverick: Don't worry about it, going back and forth with her ( I hope it's really a her :eek: ) is good practice. And you did try and keep the focus on me during the fun, so no problem. Yeah I'm worried that this will go bad, but not all that much as I might make it seem. Just as much chance that it will go good as well as bad, I've got to start believing in myself again. I appreciate the CA advice and will give it a try ATFO. As I said above I will try WUTG like he suggests, but in this situation, I don't know if it's possible. It's more likely a "hit and run" that lasts 3-5 minutes will add to what attracted her to me (hopefully) in the first place. I'll still try and give the group something though. The best place is in the halls, when she is in a group of 2-4 instead of outside with everyone. I will try for joo, me mang! I will try and make joo proud. (Italian continuity!)


My next post will be a FR as to what happens. May the spirit of the big pimp in the sky be with me. :cool:
 
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Maverick001

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RabidDog,

I hear you about the confidence thing. I'm an RAFC myself and I understand about having to rebuild confidence again.

Go get her and report back!

Cheers,
Mav
 

RabidDog

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Well, for the first Thursday in over 6 months, the group didn't come. :mad:

But, by yesterday my confidence was at an all time high, so I practiced with this HB7 that lives in the complex.

Her: (Walking w/ Blockbuster DVD) Hey!
Me: Hey.. I'm sorry I can't watch a movie with you, I'm on duty, but maybe later.
Her: *giggle* No, silly it's for my Aunt in 235. She can have it, it's pretty boring anyway.
Me: So I'm the only thing that excites you.. good deal. (****y smile)
Her: We'll see about that, Bye (big smile) (enters apartment)

I got a few other practice runs in, but it was admittedly more difficult as the group not showing (and her) put me a bit off. But they might come today, and hopefully HB9-2 will be there too. If not I might try with HB8-1 or HB9-2 if I get the slightest chance.

HB8-1 = First girl I had my sights on.
HB9-1 = Current Target and Main objective.
HB9-2 = Wild Card that might have been thrown in.

A few weekes ago, when HB8-1 was in my cross-hairs, I talked to
one of the older ladies and found out HB8-1's name, and for some reason she thought I meant HB9-2. Well we were talking and one of the larger girls heard me say that HB9-2 was cute. Looking back, Tuesday.. HB9-2 said "HI!!!" in the halls to me, but I slumped it off. Mostly because I'm a dumbass, and HB8-1 was walking beside her. Sooo, she might have caught wind of what I said, and reacted in kind, and is now in play.. and I dropped the first ball. *slaps head* As far as HB8-1 goes, she always looks down and acts nervous, but I can't get even my new more ****y self to think she isn't disgusted by me at all, she's just nervous around me. I even caught her checking me out with a cute "Im praying but Im looking at you and I you just caught me!" thing.

So, one step forward.. two steps back.

I'll report more if anything happens today.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Maverick001

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Way to go!

Originally posted by RabidDog
Her: (Walking w/ Blockbuster DVD) Hey!
Me: Hey.. I'm sorry I can't watch a movie with you, I'm on duty, but maybe later.
Her: *giggle* No, silly it's for my Aunt in 235. She can have it, it's pretty boring anyway.
Me: So I'm the only thing that excites you.. good deal. (****y smile)
Her: We'll see about that, Bye (big smile) (enters apartment)
RabidDog,

Good job. Nicely done. It's on with this one, you do realize that right?

It sounds like you're doing fine recognizing the opportunities and seizing them. Keep it going.

Don't worry about the slip-ups. Remember what Pook said, "Perfect is boring."

Keep having fun with it and report back on what happens next.

Cheers,
Mav
 

RabidDog

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Maverick,

Thanks.. but no she's not, if I want to keep my job that is. And I do need this job until about February, or no new ride. One of the fundamental building blocks of a good DJ arsenal. I did like how I handled the situation though. I must look like I'm on the prowl lately, as people that I have come to know well there, somehow know what I'm up to, even though I haven't previously discussed anything of the sort. I hope that's a good thing. None of them showed today, (didn't think they would) so it's maybe Monday, or Thursday. We'll see what happens, and If while I'm doing errands and paying bills this weekend, something happens, well.. I'll report back. I have a few old "friends" I can call, and get some strange.. but eh, that's no fun. I have the taste of blood again, and I want a fresh kill. :D
 

Maverick001

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RabidDog,

It sounds like you've got the momentum going. Success builds on success.

By all mean, call up your "old friends" and have fun practicing with them. You might be surprised at the response you get when they see how you're now different.

Go get em!

Cheers,
Mav
 

RabidDog

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My god, what an odd day.


Well, after 3 weeks of the church group not returning, I had heard rumors that they were "too bothersome" to the inhabitants to be allowed to return. I do agree that having your door knocked upon once a week is some-what annoying, and I chase "witnessers" away almost as much, at my own house with an ever-increasing amount of ingenious pranks.

There's "the cat cooker" which places an old collar on a steak as he barbecue's and cries at his lost pet, cursing it's delicious flavor. There is "the satanist automotive hobbiest" that bangs on random autoparts throughout the garage he is in, and blesses the dark price with every hammer fall. There are several other "personas" that I don for these annoying people, but I digress.

So, naturally I was shocked that not only had the group came, but I was in the same state of "Eh, I look kinda rough/cool" that I was the last time. (IE: 3 weeks ago)

I was running around doing what I'm supposed to do as an unshaven feaux-law kinda guy, and suddenly the blonde appeared with her group of friends. Now, last time it was somewhat dark when she did the EC on me that originally sparked this post, and neither time I saw her.. did I really look her over. The first time her eyes got as big as grapefruit when she saw me, so that stuck out. (at the time, I thought she was being a stuck-up 8itch) Then the second time, the eyes got me again, so no full body checkout. If this blonde was in fact the girl from 3 weeks ago, she is a lil thicker than I had remembered, but still a solid HB7-1/2. YES, there is a good chance this is a different blonde, as there are so damned many girls that come at random times, it's hard to keep track.

That being said, she did in fact come with the group. She came up to me, and said "lol, I really gotta pee!" I chuckled at the comment and followed her inside to unlock the girls room. (we had a guy sleeping in there on duty, so we had to lock it) She says before she goes in.... "sooo, do you work here everyday?" I was kinda in shock. (everyone I asked said this was an obvious sighn of interest, hell even I've used it) I said, "yep, from Monday through Friday" she hmmm'd at me and went to do her duty as an american, pick flowers, or whatever girls do in the bathroom, that I don't want to know now, or to ever know.

I smiled outside in the rec-room area, and started to plan my next move. You see, (to add some backstory) lately I had let several lucrative oppertunites where I was strafed by a girl blatantly get by me and I had not done jack-crap about it. I made myself a promise not even a day before that I would NEVER, repeat NEVER, let that happen again. NO MATTER WHAT the outcome.

Next day, this happens...

Just as I was about to make my move...

Phagans, going off in the building. Loudly.

FU<K..

FIRE!

Yep, that's right.. a fire. Which took all of my time that I had. It was small and put out quickly, but the fire department and all the fire doors had to be reset and the idiots calmed. When I again saw her, she was in the commens with her friends. I got my wingman russel to help me out a little. (yes I gots me a wingman now) she looked down most of the time, kind of embarassed. I don't know if she thinks I left her hanging or not, and was now somewhat sad. She was talking with the group, and only said something about tom cruise being cute, when some other girl brought him up. My wing was doing a bad job, and was way to pushy for their tastes. That, I could easily tell. So, I seperated from him and tried to make myself scarce. I didn't know what else to do to avoid the downward spiral that was unfolding before mein eyes. I DID NOT want his idiocy to be associated with me.

(yes I'm getting a new wingman asap)

Later that day, "blockbuster girl" from earlier posts was in the halls, looking damned fine. She asked if I could help her with something inside, and me (duuuurrrr) obliged. I guess I should have thought something amiss when she locked the door behind her, but hey, it's a rough place. She took both my hands and sat me down at the couch.. if letters could have somehow come out of my mouth and appear mid-air, they would have been a rather large set of "W T F". Before I knew it, she was touching mein private parts, and of course, I responded. She promptly, and my god.. I mean promptly, went down on me until completion. Then, she gave me her number.. and walked me to the door. Still shocked at what had occured, and the day in general, I believe I spent roughly 456,123.03456 years standing slackjawed in the hallway.

sooo, my question is, if it is the same girl or not.. what would be the best way to salvage things? She might be here next week, and I am still interested in her. I'm very proud of myself for all the attention lately, and fullfilling the promise to myself that no oppertunity will be wasted, but I still need help.

FYI:

She (blockbuster girl) was allright, mostly suck/bob/repeat.

Also:

Girl from "the halls" story, went out of her way to say Hi to me again on the very same day I ended up making the vow. She was one of the last straws that broke the AFC dog's back.
 
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Maverick001

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Double Way to Go!

RabidDog,

Bro, it sounds like you're on your way.

Keep the blockbuster girl around for a f#ck buddy and keep working the other ones that you're interested in. DON'T GET ONEITIS. You'll be fine.

By the way,

She promptly, and my god.. I mean promptly, went down on me until completion. Then, she gave me her number.. and walked me to the door. Still shocked at what had occured, and the day in general, I believe I spent roughly 456,123.03456 years standing slackjawed in the hallway.
LMAO...:D

Yeah, it's always a surprise the first time it happens.

Cheers,
Mav
 

CyranoDeBergerac

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Rabid, I only had ten minutes of free time in these last three days that I could read anything on here, so I thank you for referring me to your post.

Simply put, guy's like you are the reason I still come here. I'll respond more a little later when I have more time, but meanwhile I just want to thank you for representing the DJ brotherhood so d@mn nice.

Rock on, man.

-Cyrano
 

RabidDog

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;)

Thanks Maverick, Cyrano.. I just got tired of the regret I would feel when I had done.. nothing. I managed to get over the self-loathing that was swamping me on a daily basis, and started noticing that several girls were being down-right blatant at flirting with me. All this started from Cyrano's posts (and Mav helped) about me being too hard on myself. They really were a wake up call.

With the fog of self-doubt cleared, it all became clear. Of course then, I had the new problem of knowing that I had a chance, but having no confidence to do anything about it.

I again re-read the posts in this thread, and combined that with the utter frustration of what would later be my final incident as an AFC. I just.. woke up. Suddenly, the hardest of burns or rejections seemed miles better than slapping my forehead in the the parking lot at the local A&P, because I had failed for the umpteenth time to take action.

I actually got rejected once today at work, I smiled, and then I smiled some more. Damn, it felt good to just, know that I had taken a chance, and although I had failed.. I knew that there would be other girls, other battles to win. That, felt pretty damned good.

I'm far from perfect at this, and I'm still learning and growing.. but I'm on my way, I know it.

Thanks to me Cyrano?

No, thank you.


I eagerly await your posts of advice for next week's incursion, and look forward to reading them. Also, Maverick.. chime in too. With all the congratulations, you failed to give advice on mein bolden textein. I do appreciate the one-itis advice, and will heed it. I don't see it happening.. but they say "you never hear the one that kills you" sooo, yeah I'll be careful.

-Rabid-
 

B9

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well done rapidDog.:D

Threads like this is what the forum is for.:)
 

RabidDog

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After some plotting, I've come up with this scenario.

[setting]

Rabid sees girl ABC place at work, motions her over to him.. and away from the group.

Rabid: Hey, what's your name? (I might add: I didn't get it last week.)
Hottie: Nicole (rough guess)
Rabid: Nice to meet you Nicole, I'm Rabid.
Rabid/Hottie: banter,banter,banter
Hottie: Anyway, I figured I'd get your number since it's been taking a week each time we get to talk. (I'm not asking her here, I'm telling her to give the number, and I add a sweet spot towards the end, in case she is the girl from now 4 weeks ago) (the "week" comment needs some tweaking, I know)

Now here is the part where I kinda feel like an arsehole, the girl from the bathroom scenario, is slightly less attractive and a lil thicker than the girl I "think" I remember from the eye-contact scenario. Several girls from the group have given me sighns of interest IMO, but this girl seems to be a better fit for my style than the rest.

I could have swore the blonde from the eye-contact thing had shorter hair, and was skinnier. BUT at the same time, blondes in the group are ultra-rare, and the heigth I remember is spot-on. Also spot-on is the fact that the two I haven't seen/noticed before this whole thing started.

I don't want to muck up my chances with girl 1, to go after girl 2, if in fact girl 1 and girl 2 are different people.

I'm not shallow but if your not as attracted to one prospect girl as another, then why settle unless your forced too?

[edit]

I'm overthinking this.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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