...I'm Back after months for an important question

someone800

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Hey,

First off, let me say thank-you to this forum for helping me direct change in who I am to who I want to be. It truly helped as in the summer-time, I finally made out with my first girl...followed by my second....and then followed by my third who became my first serious girlfriend which is what I want to talk about.

See, a couple of months ago, I hooked up with her. And it was great. We had some good times together. But after a month passed, I started loosing interest and there was things I didn't like to much about her heavily influencing my life, etc. I didn't want to, but I broke up with her before the homecoming dance because she noticed that it seemed like I was going to do something like that (I was going to wait till after).

Anyways, we saw each other at the dance a few days later and one of my friends got us to talk to each other there. She really wanted me back, so I talked to her a bit about it and went over what went wrong the last month...and then we hooked back up. It was an amazing dance.

However, once again, around a month later (aka recently), I broke up with her again. This time, it was a lot because of my personality such as I feel like I need to be a more free person (i.e. not locked down in a relationship). So, I told her that and explained how it wasn't her and she understood.

About a week later, she asked me to be friends with benefits and I said, "Yes." I had never done this friends with benefits thing before, so I thought it would be the best of both worlds. However, one day after a good, long make-out, I went home feeling like it seemed we were in a relationship again that day and it just didn't feel right. I talked to her a bit about it.

Here's where it gets interesting. The next few days at school, she seemed to be hanging around me more than often, almost like we were in a relationship again. At this point, I started trying to think of things to do about it and a nice way to go about it without hurting her.

Well, in one of my classes around the middle of the day, I was talking to a couple guys about it and saying "she was following me around." And that I was trying to think of a nice way to get it to slow down.

:cuss: However, they took that and told her after that class what I said, although apparently, exaggerated from my point of view. She texted me later that day saying she never wants to talk to me again and got really harsh about it.

Having dealt with this drama-type stuff in the past and having to go over it to set things right, I was tired of it, so I just replied "uh..no, but w/e."

That was that and I didn't hear about it for over a week or so till yesterday kind of. In the class we are in together, apparently the air around her was filled with hate and the air around me with awkwardness. It was so much (we didn't talk to each other), that towards the end of class, a couple girls I hardly ever talked to were able to point it out and ask me about it.

I went home that day and was at home that night feeling like I had some kind of post-traumatic-stress thing.

On top of that, I mean ever since we broke up she started getting new clothes, changing up her hair, putting on more makeup, etc. :nervous: ...I think you get where I'm going with this but just don't have the ego to say it.

I also talked to a friend between us, I guess the "mediator", who said she really doesn't want anything to do with me and doesn't want me to talk to her.

I'm totally lost right now with all this ****ed up emotion mixed inside of me right now and it's bringing me down.

On top of that, over the last weekend, I went on a date with this one girl I met and took her out to coffee and ice creme and my game was totally off. I didn't make a move, use kino, etc.

I don't know what's up with me lately, but any ideas on what I can do? Thanks.
 

DJDamage

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someone800 said:
I don't know what's up with me lately, but any ideas on what I can do? Thanks.
What's done is done.

Next time when you decide to end a relationship just end it and don't look back. There is no worse feeling in the world then being dumped by a girl whom you knew you should have dumped her first a long time ago.
 

Bossman08

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YOu brought this crap on yourself. NEVER EVER EVER talk to other people about your relationships if they know that person. And even if they don't know that person, don't name names...just say "one of the girls I'm dating" because people talk and they will tell someone who might know that person.

That should be one of the top rules. Keep other people out of your buisness. You just learned that lesson the hard way. What sort of dudes go running around telling another man's business, especially back to a woman. That's a gossiping ass bytch ass man.

They are probably some haters trying to get up on your girl. And even if they aren't, they turn into that. "He doesn't about her, he's not treating her right". Then they swoop in, cape flapping in the breeze to save her.

Keep other dudes out of your business.
 

someone800

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Bossman08 said:
YOu brought this crap on yourself. NEVER EVER EVER talk to other people about your relationships if they know that person. And even if they don't know that person, don't name names...just say "one of the girls I'm dating" because people talk and they will tell someone who might know that person.

That should be one of the top rules. Keep other people out of your buisness. You just learned that lesson the hard way. What sort of dudes go running around telling another man's business, especially back to a woman. That's a gossiping ass bytch ass man.

They are probably some haters trying to get up on your girl. And even if they aren't, they turn into that. "He doesn't about her, he's not treating her right". Then they swoop in, cape flapping in the breeze to save her.

Keep other dudes out of your business.
Yeah, I really agree with that statement.

Man...it really sucks that I had to learn it this (hard) way though.

Like....man the feelings I got about it right now are just...indescribable? :(
 

slaog

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someone800 said:
Like....man the feelings I got about it right now are just...indescribable? :(
What are you worrying about? It's done, its finished now. You didn't want the girl and she's now staying well away from you. I think you went a little OTT when you told the others about her being near you. Its like those women who call some men stalkers just because they show the women some interest.


Learn from it and the next time when you tell somebody you don't want a relationship just remember that you made it clear its over and not your problem if they won't let it go.


Just tell the girl you only wanted a bit of space and the guys exaggerated it to create a bit of drama for their own personal pleasure. I think that will make her feel less humiliated.
 

Rounder

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You're young - keep that in mind and it's ok to make mistakes. You're making them at a great time in your life. After high school you probably won't see most of these people again so you might as well take some chances and have fun.

Friends with benefits - girls that age probably can't handle that, especially one that's been your GF - too much emotion involved.

Hopefully you're going to college next year - there will be tons of girls available to you. Get some practice in now for the summer and next fall.

Good luck.
 

Mr Autobahn

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Yeah, some of the posters above have good points. You shouldn't be talking about your relationships with casual friends... because you never know what their agenda is like... and besides... it sounds like you got more interested in the girl after she dumped you... it is just funny the way human nature is sometimes...

But you will get over it... my suggestion is to keep your emotions bottled up... act like it is no big deal but be friendly with her...
 

someone800

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Mr Autobahn said:
it sounds like you got more interested in the girl after she dumped you
You seem to be the first one who got my main sub-point I made. It's just really weird. I didn't really care at all for a week (went on a date with another girl as I mentioned earlier), but I don't know what's come across me. It's really messing me up in the head because I have broke up with her twice yet I have these thoughts.

On top of that, I see other girls and stuff...

:confused:
 

slaog

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someone800 said:
You seem to be the first one who got my main sub-point I made. It's just really weird. I didn't really care at all for a week (went on a date with another girl as I mentioned earlier), but I don't know what's come across me. It's really messing me up in the head because I have broke up with her twice yet I have these thoughts.

On top of that, I see other girls and stuff...

:confused:
You got used to her being there if ever you needed her. She was your safety net if things went wrong with other girls and now that safety net is gone.
 
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