"im a wuss and i need to fix this situation" : UPDATE

[seth03]

So, I don't know if you guys remember my last post that had the same "im a wuss" subject (hyperlink="http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=84620", but I ended up going out with the girl tonight. I have to tell you that once you miss a collection of opportunities to kiss a girl, I think that you are done for good. I knew this girl wanted me because she initiated the approach by saying "Hey, I'm ****, I've seen you around campus, whats your name?"...and eventually I got her number and it was last tuesday that we first went out. I took her to dinner, and she had us sit on a bench at night over 3 times but we just kept talking instead of doing anything productive (like making out). Then, she brought me to her room, but her friend came in soon after, so I ended up leaving before she insisted she walk me to the door. I messed that part up too by not kissing her. So finally, I call her to hang out tonight, and we do, and we get something to eat, and I can tell that she isn't as into me as before, and as the night ends, I walk her to her place, and simply touch her chin and lean in for the kiss.......and BAM! she quickly jolts her body and says "awkward!" and we proceeded to talk for about a half hour about relationships and stuff. So, that is my pathetic update, but at least I tried, and to tell you the truth, I was laughing the entire time afterwards. I still think the situation was funny, and am extremely glad I did it.

Anyway, what do you guys think I should do as far as possibly getting this girl back one day? I have other girls i'm seeing, so I don't really care about her now, but this is the type of girl I'd really want to have a serious relationship sometime in the future. Do you think if I pretty much ignore her for 2 years that I'd be able to start over again? Or have I screwed myself? Or in your experience, have girls actually changed their minds after rejecting someone within a few days/weeks?

Thanks for your amazing tips/replies/comments and thoughts! I feel happy to share my random story with you guys.

 

[stalluproar]

It seems like the door slammed in your face or worse yet, it slammed your fingers and broke them. Keep seeing other girls. The only chance you have (3% probability) is if you are out with friends (guys AND girls) having a good time, she might spark anewed attraction. But you must have be in a totally different frame (fun and high energy) when she runs into you again.

Here are your date killers in case you don't know:

You took her to dinner (seems boring and predictable since there was no mention of you going to hang out there/in the area or wanting to check it out).
Had her sit you down on the bench instead of you sitting her down.
Bringing you to her room (it seems like she lead you there).
Second date, same boring going out to eat and leading you back to the same place.
Forcing a kiss when you didn't create sexual attraction with the killers above.

 

[rockstar88]

yeah i agree with stalluproar go with the other girls and guys have fun ignore her and she might renew intrest.
damn did she really say "awkward!" thats rough. atleast you didnt let it bother you and you could laugh about it. thats the best think you could have done.

 

[seth03]

just to let you know, i didnt even take her out to dinner, she just called and asked if i was hungry, and we just ended up going to some random place. I didn't realize it was pretty much a date until I got to her place.

Yeah, I don't know why she yelled out "awkward!" and made it extremely clear that what I was doing was so unappealing. I think since I knew this girl was so into me from the start, I decided that I really didn't have to put as much balls and effort as I would have if she was some hb9 who intially had zero interest in me.

 

[Royal Elite]

Bottom line is never ever chase!

The fact you didn't kiss her has nothing to do with anything!

You brain is trying to rationalize the fact why she isn't as interested in you as you are in her!

I don't know you skill level with converstion, and body language so I can't tell you why, but the bottom line is that is all it is!

She is not ready to progress where you are ready to progress.

If you are thinking about "dating" here simply go out have a good time, FLIRT, FLIRT, and FLIRT somemore and be EZ!

Throw sex out of the window of your brain and just chill!

My rule has always been that I don't chase women for sex! If she wants to kiss me she will initiate it, if she wants to be intimate with me she must initiate it!

Not only is this my inner rule I actually tell them this, and of course the laugh and it becomes of a game of who will break first.

Lets put it like this I never lose, and I always win.

The rare times I don't finish the deed with women is when I break that rule!

 

[seth03]

Royal Elite...are you sure about all this? For me i'd rather have a woman make it completely clear that she wants to become more intimate, but everyone else keeps telling me I constantly miss "clear" opportunities. Is having a girl invite you over to her place to be alone with you at 1am a clear opportunity? Is having a girl give you a bunch of gum and have you sit down next to her in the middle of campus at night on a bench a clear opportunity? My problem is differentiating between girls who simply touch alot/are naturally very flirtatious but aren't interested... vs. girls who are truly interested but don't show it. My conversation skills and general personality is perfect (not to sound like some kind of pompous ass, it's just that my friends have overheard other people say how cool i am, and people usually tell me directly, hot girls included, that I am the coolest person they know, etc.etc.) And I've had sex with some girls who are way hotter than this one, so I know that my personality is not the problem. Maybe it is body language, b/c i've never had any true feedback on that, but I really doubt thats the problem because I usually exhibit good body language naturally.

If what your saying is true, that girls will initiate the kiss, then I don't know what I'm doing wrong. If she initiated the approach, the "date", and plenty of calls, why would she stop at the kiss, if what you're saying is true?

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by seth03
Royal Elite...are you sure about all this? For me i'd rather have a woman make it completely clear that she wants to become more intimate, but everyone else keeps telling me I constantly miss "clear" opportunities. Is having a girl invite you over to her place to be alone with you at 1am a clear opportunity? Is having a girl give you a bunch of gum and have you sit down next to her in the middle of campus at night on a bench a clear opportunity? My problem is differentiating between girls who simply touch alot/are naturally very flirtatious but aren't interested... vs. girls who are truly interested but don't show it. My conversation skills and general personality is perfect (not to sound like some kind of pompous ass, it's just that my friends have overheard other people say how cool i am, and people usually tell me directly, hot girls included, that I am the coolest person they know, etc.etc.) And I've had sex with some girls who are way hotter than this one, so I know that my personality is not the problem. Maybe it is body language, b/c i've never had any true feedback on that, but I really doubt thats the problem because I usually exhibit good body language naturally.

If what your saying is true, that girls will initiate the kiss, then I don't know what I'm doing wrong. If she initiated the approach, the "date", and plenty of calls, why would she stop at the kiss, if what you're saying is true?

What you are doing wrong is simply "rushing". Just because she didn't initiate the kiss on the second date doesn't mean she wont later. It's a "second" date!

YOU are the one who's mind keeps fixating on sex not her (don't worry all men do). She is just trying to find someone to have a good time with and possibly find "THE ONE".

You have to learn to just BE EZ.

The best example I've ever read is the example of the cat and I have cats so it is true!

Women and cats will run from the one chasing and be drawn to the person in the room ignoring them!

Just think about it like this--If she really wants to kiss you and you refuse to kiss how first what is the only way a kiss can happen?

If she wants to have sex with you and you dont initiate what is the only way sex can happen?

There's only two people involved therefore if both parties want the same thing one will initially initiate.