I'm a Mature Woman...

[sweetypie]

Hello Gentleman! I am a 23 year old, I am currently Dating a 29 year old man and I can't trust him. He swears up and down he's not cheating on me, but i've been with him 2 years and still can't trust him. I have never caught him cheating. I don't have proof, and a lot of times when i think he was lieing i found he wasnt. This is tearing me apart because I'm faithful to him, but i'm torn with the what ifs. This may sound petty but I feel if a man cheats on a woman, F$#k that turn the other cheak sh## she should repay him the favor. I know, i know its horrible, but i'm just being honest. I can't stand for a man to have an up on me. I also don't understand why men think its ok to cheat, but if the woman they are with does it, she is a ho, or worst. I feel whats good for the man is good for the female, and i'm tempted to do my thing on the side just incase my suspicions are right, but as you probably guessed, i'm afraid if i did do some dirt and he was innocent that i'd feel bad. i know this sounds crazy but I really feel that if i was right, and i did dirt then it wouldnt hurt so bad. Some please help me make sense of this mess.

Ms.. S

 

[Caveman]

What are you expecting from guys here? Someone to do the cheating with??

Try and find out why you can't trust him. The man is innocent until proven guilty. If you are jealous over no reason YOU are the one having a problem.

 

[Falcon Eye]

You're anything but a mature woman

Originally posted by sweetypie
Hello Gentleman! I am a 23 year old, I am currently Dating a 29 year old man and I can't trust him. He swears up and down he's not cheating on me, but i've been with him 2 years and still can't trust him. I have never caught him cheating. I don't have proof, and a lot of times when i think he was lieing i found he wasnt. This is tearing me apart because I'm faithful to him, but i'm torn with the what ifs. This may sound petty but I feel if a man cheats on a woman, F$#k that turn the other cheak sh## she should repay him the favor. I know, i know its horrible, but i'm just being honest. I can't stand for a man to have an up on me. I also don't understand why men think its ok to cheat, but if the woman they are with does it, she is a ho, or worst. I feel whats good for the man is good for the female, and i'm tempted to do my thing on the side just incase my suspicions are right, but as you probably guessed, i'm afraid if i did do some dirt and he was innocent that i'd feel bad. i know this sounds crazy but I really feel that if i was right, and i did dirt then it wouldnt hurt so bad. Some please help me make sense of this mess.

Ms.. S

He says he's not cheating, you've never caught him, you have no proof whatsoever that he has cheated, and lot's of times when you thought he was lying you found out he wasn't. Still you don't believe that he's not cheating and feel the best way to handle it is to cheat on him?

Yeah you're a mature woman alright.

 

[princelydeeds]

First you said

Originally posted by sweetypie
I'm a Mature Woman...

Everything you said after that contradicted your first statement. You are an immature, little girl, playing the silly games that little girls play. Your jealousy and insecurity are common. You are no different from the any of the other silly girls in the world, you are just a common girl. You meet a real man, who treats you with respect and honestl but becasue you are a child you cannot deal with a man who respects you. He has no drama, so you create a fantasy world of soap opera drama. You have a real man, too bad he doesn't realise he's with a little girl.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Trust issues?

Anyway, as far as the difference between men cheating and women cheating goes, there is a big difference.

Woman cheats and could possibly get preggo from the guy and her man then gets to take care of someone else's kid (genetic suicide).

Man cheats and gets woman pregnant, then her hubby can take care of his kid.

I think that is the subconscious thinking behind it.

 

[WestCoaster]

Glad you're not a lawyer

What is this sh-t, you don't even have any circumstantial evidence yet you think he's cheating? WTF?

Here's an idea since you don't trust him: Instead of being an ignorant American sl-t, who doesn't have the courage to break up with him so you want to cheat, grow some ovaries and actually TELL HIM face to face that you want to break up with him.

No one is putting a gun to your head to stay with this guy or to cheat on him for no good reason.

Here's another idea: Get some freakin' CLASS, COURAGE, and INTEGRITY. Trust people (including yourself) and don't act like the two-bit wh-re down the street -- that might carry you far in life.

Remember, if you practice bad habits at a young age (cheating, sleeping around) you become that loser later on in life. There's still time to develop a spine and some character, but I'm not counting on it.

 

[Survivor]

Alright fellas, I think we've crucified the girl enough with our responses. (This is exactly why our female lurkers don't post.)

Sweetie, you said one thing that I thought was interesting:

"I can't stand for a man to have an up on me."

Since when did relationships become a game? Who's keeping score?

Remember that you are dealing with a 29 year old MAN, not one of your three-faced, backstabbing girlfriends. What you have with this man is a relationship, NOT a power struggle.

Sweetie what you are experiencing is what is called The Paradox of Desire. I almost garauntee that the day that you completely trust your boyfriend will be the day that you lose interest and break up with him. I'll leave it to the other fellas to explain why.

Hope things work out for ya, girl.

 

[WestCoaster]

More hammering

Sorry, I really don't want things to work out for her in the short term. Her attitude shows she needs to be knocked down a few pegs. "Can't stand one up" and "cheat on him to get back at him" (and he hasn't really cheated) and so forth.

She's watched too many soap operas, read too many trashy romance novels, and has (like most U.S. women) bought into this sick culture as if it were gospel.

What she REALLY needs in life is to have this guy dump her sorry a$$ and have her struggle and struggle to land any dates in the next year. Be alone with her thoughts, do some self-improvement like read quality books and work out, perhaps visit some children's hospitals where there is true pain for a nice reality check, and learn how to be a REAL friend, and then MAYBE, just maybe she'll be ready to be in a MATURE relationship.

But like I said before: I'm not counting on it.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by sweetypie
Hello Gentleman! I am a 23 year old,

Originally posted by sweetypie
... swears up and down he's not cheating on me, but i've been with him 2 years and still can't trust him. I have never caught him cheating. I don't have proof, and a lot of times when i think he was lieing i found he wasnt.

Originally posted by sweetypie
...i'm tempted to do my thing on the side just incase my suspicions are right

Based on the last quote you've probably already cheated or are about to and are trying to find some way to justify yourself. You're not mature, you're a drama inducing ho who needs to find herself another forum.

 

[NewMan]

The question you need to ask yourself is:

Why are you with someone who is cheating on you?


Well - the fact is that you don't know - so now you choose to play these little games.

So - your insecure.

Your jealous.

You've got low self esteem.

What else?



All of these things can not be fixed by the man in your life. You are either worthy or not.

You either respect yourself or not - because if you do not respect yourself then how do you expect anyone else to?

The fact of the matter is - I can tell from your email that you've been playing silly games throughout your life.

You've some work to do on yourself - I suggest you either stop bashing and pushing away your guy or break up with him.

 

[Omega]

If you have no evidence then most likely your just pysching yourself up. Your six years younger then him, and from past experiences you have seen other males that are older fool around with other women. Now, your brain is inserting what-if's and questioning your relationship, since now your in that position your trying to be as careful as possible.

Unless you have evidence, nothing to worry about. Evidence could be personality changes, as well as physical evidence.

 

[GirlCrazy]

I'm a Mature Woman...

i'm tempted to do my thing on the side just incase my suspicions are right

Doesn't sound very mature to me...

It's a perfect combination of flawed reasoning and rationalization of your desire to sleep with other men. *golf clap*

Hopefully he will wise up and dump you.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

what a crack up.

you're a frightened, confused, suspicous, little girl. if i was your BF, i would have dumped you long ago, uh, like the second time you accused me of lying and cheating when it apparantly wasn't true.

and you're doing it for a third time (or is it the fourth?).

the problem is with YOU, not HIM!

 

[entropy]

justification

can't stand for a man to have an up on me. I also don't understand why men think its ok to cheat, but if the woman they are with does it, she is a ho, or worst. I feel whats good for the man is good for the female, and i'm tempted to do my thing on the side just incase my suspicions are right, but as you probably guessed, i'm afraid if i did do some dirt and he was innocent that i'd feel bad. i know this sounds crazy but I really feel that if i was right, and i did dirt then it wouldnt hurt so bad. Some please help me make sense of this mess.

What you really want is justification to be a wh*re.

You have low self esteem, and want validation from other males.

Take away your vagina, and you have nothing to offer the opposite sex......NOTHING.

This clear things up Shyttypie?

 

[Good_ol_boy]

Sweet,
I'm not going to beat up on you.

The answer is:
No trust, no relationship---NEXT!

 

[MindOverMatter]

If you don't trust the guy, break it off and find someone you can trust. But don't cheat no matter what, it's a classless thing to do, and it will make you a wh0re, and you will regret it for the rest of the life.

Some other alternatives:
-get a really hot friend of yours that he doesnt know to try to get into his pants, to see if he'll do it or not
-worst comes to worst, hire a private eye to follow him

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by sweetypie
Hello Gentleman! I am a 23 year old, I am currently Dating a 29 year old man and I can't trust him. He swears up and down he's not cheating on me, but i've been with him 2 years and still can't trust him. I have never caught him cheating. I don't have proof, and a lot of times when i think he was lieing i found he wasnt. This is tearing me apart because I'm faithful to him, but i'm torn with the what ifs. This may sound petty but I feel if a man cheats on a woman, F$#k that turn the other cheak sh## she should repay him the favor. I know, i know its horrible, but i'm just being honest. I can't stand for a man to have an up on me. I also don't understand why men think its ok to cheat, but if the woman they are with does it, she is a ho, or worst. I feel whats good for the man is good for the female, and i'm tempted to do my thing on the side just incase my suspicions are right, but as you probably guessed, i'm afraid if i did do some dirt and he was innocent that i'd feel bad. i know this sounds crazy but I really feel that if i was right, and i did dirt then it wouldnt hurt so bad. Some please help me make sense of this mess.
Ms.. S

I am not even going to read your post. Your only 23. How can you call yourself a mature woman? I'm 45.

Secondly, your on a site whinning about your man to a bunch of players? Now how much sense does that make?
It's like wearing nuthin but a thong with 1,000,000.00 strapped to your ass and walking into a locked room full of cutthroats rapist and murderers.

Sorry sista wrong place. Look at the sign on the door.

I just glanced at the middle of your post. Your cheating on him and trying to justify it with "well he must be cheating on me"...lame baby.

Good bye!

 

[1utfan1]

Re: Re: I'm a Mature Woman...

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
I am not even going to read your post. Your only 23. How can you call yourself a mature woman? I'm 45.

Secondly, your on a site whinning about your man to a bunch of players? Now how much sense does that make?
It's like wearing nuthin but a thong with 1,000,000.00 strapped to your ass and walking into a locked room full of cutthroats rapist and murderers.

Sorry sista wrong place. Look at the sign on the door.

I just glanced at the middle of your post. Your cheating on him and trying to justify it with "well he must be cheating on me"...lame baby.

Good bye!

what else needs said...This about covers it.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
Some other alternatives:
-get a really hot friend of yours that he doesnt know to try to get into his pants, to see if he'll do it or not
-worst comes to worst, hire a private eye to follow him

i hope you're not serious. if a relationship comes to this, it's OVER!

 

[MindOverMatter]

I was partially serious. It sounds like an insecure thing to do, and it is, but it is still a better alternative then cheating on someone because you think they might be cheating on you.