FirstOfficer
New Member
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2017
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- Age
- 48
I'm an airline pilot. I went back to college a little late. Finally, at age 40, I've been flying airline for just over 5 years now. I'm sitting in the right seat of a regional jet seating 76. After 13 years, I am finally making over a living wage again. About $60K/Ann. That said, I'm single, never been married and don't have any kids. a couple years ago I was competing with an ACTUAL Abercrombie and Fitch model for a girl. His abs were plastered up in every A&F on the planet when you walked in the door. I ultimately lost, but the competition made me rise to a level of extreme fitness. Being 6'3" I was an agency model myself for 2 years in Miami. I drive a 6 year old Dodge Nitro RT in immaculate shape. It's no Porsche, but I own it. I don't have a big, new 5 bedroom house yet. I've had to put that on hold whole putting in my dues as a pilot. I do have a very nice 1000 square foot apartment in the good part of town in a large city where I'm based though.
Why all this background? 8 months ago, I met this 9/10 woman working in customs here in my base city. She's a stunning girl, but not perfect. With a few flashes of confidence, wit and REALLY good luck, I was able to get her attention while wearing my pilot uniform. We started dating. She's originally from the Middle-East, but almost blond skin tone. She doesn't want to date Muslim men (her own) for personal reasons. She seems to have a thing for blond European background guys. I'm German background. Full blond hair. Her dad is 15 years older than her mom and he's 64 years old. I'm 47. She's 27. So we're 20 years apart, but I don't think she didn't know that when we met. I look, meh, 40. Anyway. We HIT. IT. OFF! we spent every moment of the next 3 dates laughing and talking non-stop. We have stupid chemistry. Everything matches spot on astrologically too, if you're into that. Here's one kicker. She's not a religious Muslim and doesn't wear a hijab (head wrap) but, at age 27 she's still a virgin. Muslim culture still I guess. She has a pharmaceutical degree from a Middle-Eastern nation, and it is useless to her here in the USA, without 2 years of equivalency school. She has her work visa that requires her to leave the USA for a short while every 6 months.
Now, this is where is gets super-complicated. Having fled the Middle-East when she was younger, her family (mom, dad and 2 sisters, live in London) Arab families are TIGHT. On our 2nd date she coyly told me, "Um hey, for work visa reasons, I have to leave the USA for a month and return to London. I might not come back. I really love my family, and I don't see that much here in the USA for me." I didn't show it then, but my jaw hit the floor. I had played the straight-flush of scarcity cards on the 1st date by telling her I was possibly moving back to my home city in 6 months. She slapped me across the face with the royal-flush of scarcity cards with. "Oh yeah?? I might be leaving the country....FOR GOOD". I went into panic mode. She experienced my car that night when we bounced from the restaurant to a cozy, late night coffee shop. I drove. The next date I invited her over to my modest but nice place to cook her steaks. I had talked to my older, married friends and we all agreed I needed to go in for the kill to keep her from giving up on the USA and me, by default. While we were making out for the first time on my couch, completely ignoring the DVD I put in, I told her I cared for her and she better come back. I told her if it would facilitate her return I'd even consider her moving in with me (since her roommate moved out a couple months earlier, unafordable rent was apparently a exacerbating issue). I wanted to appear like the hero-provider she might need. Unfortunately, things were never the same after that. Although we stayed in close touch via messengers, it got to the point a week later where I noticed her getting more and more distant. Instead of finding a new place, she put her furniture in a temporary storage unit. I told her I wanted her to show me her "round trip" (not just one way) tickets or I simply was not going to talk to her anymore. "I am not going to continue to get involved with a girl that was going to pull a disappearing act on me in a 10 days". She started turning that position against me. "Oh great! Typical Westerner! You're so flaky you would have the relationship fortitude to wait a month to see what happens?? I told you I'm not sure." I waited an hour for her to get off work in customs to apologize to her face to face. This only seemed to make things worse. I was now "chasing her". She had struck a nerve in me and I was not going to let her just walk away.
After what I believed was a reconciliation coffee date at the airport the day before she left, I thought we were straight again. But within two weeks of leaving, she played the cold fish over the WhatsApp Messenger, and I just gave up. Until a month later. One of my pilot buddies texted me that he was staring right at her at her old job again. I messaged her. She replied by acknowledging she was indeed back, but only to give her things to charity and sell her car, a 12 year old beater. She said she didn't want to contact me so as not to get my hopes up again, but now that I knew, could we meet. we met the next night at our coffee shop. What followed was a 2 hour apology and forgiveness exchange. I promised myself that I would not put any physical moves on her. She asked me if I had been interested in something serious with her. I told her, "Of course silly. I could fly over to London whenever I want. to do a super-long-distance relationship". She told me she only felt like she could do "friends" for now. So, I got friend zoned.
Tenuously we have stayed in touch over the last 4 months. I've always been the initiator of contact, but only a few sentences a once a month or so. She's been polite in replying, but I never push any reunions with her or tell her anything "romantic". Inside I've been rung out. It's like an emotional roller-coaster. Her family had a minor tragedy. I saw her posting in Arabic about it on Facebook. With genuine concern, I inquired. She was open to me. She told me her whole family was in grief. She was feeling lost. Over WhatsApp, we slowly started bonding again. Then, at Christmas, she sent me a warm Christmas wish on her own volition. AND, some interesting news. SHE'S MOVING BACK. Now she tells me, her visa in the U.K. is only good for 6 moths at a time there too. She's always played her had super-close to her chest. She's been taught by her culture to be very suspicious of any "stranger". I guess me included. We are still just friends. For now the plan is not to press anything until she is here for a couple months. I'd be a fool to tell you I don't want her in a serious relationship with me ASAP though.
What say the gurus as to how this should continue?? I don't want to play in the friend-zone too long, but for the first few weeks, I think that's inevitable. Because of the circumstances outside both our control, I was forced to show my hand way too soon. We blew out her flame together, in a way. Me more than her though. I got all insecure. It showed. She's definitely one league above me. Did she see I wasn't the rich pilot yet she thought she'd met, and just gave me the friends-or-nothing option? She does like her stunning ball gowns and Fendi bags. She's a very intelligent, worldly woman. I told her the 6-figures are coming soon. But at this time, I was finally making enough to stick my head up and look around again after a long period of putting in my dues. I donno.
Why all this background? 8 months ago, I met this 9/10 woman working in customs here in my base city. She's a stunning girl, but not perfect. With a few flashes of confidence, wit and REALLY good luck, I was able to get her attention while wearing my pilot uniform. We started dating. She's originally from the Middle-East, but almost blond skin tone. She doesn't want to date Muslim men (her own) for personal reasons. She seems to have a thing for blond European background guys. I'm German background. Full blond hair. Her dad is 15 years older than her mom and he's 64 years old. I'm 47. She's 27. So we're 20 years apart, but I don't think she didn't know that when we met. I look, meh, 40. Anyway. We HIT. IT. OFF! we spent every moment of the next 3 dates laughing and talking non-stop. We have stupid chemistry. Everything matches spot on astrologically too, if you're into that. Here's one kicker. She's not a religious Muslim and doesn't wear a hijab (head wrap) but, at age 27 she's still a virgin. Muslim culture still I guess. She has a pharmaceutical degree from a Middle-Eastern nation, and it is useless to her here in the USA, without 2 years of equivalency school. She has her work visa that requires her to leave the USA for a short while every 6 months.
Now, this is where is gets super-complicated. Having fled the Middle-East when she was younger, her family (mom, dad and 2 sisters, live in London) Arab families are TIGHT. On our 2nd date she coyly told me, "Um hey, for work visa reasons, I have to leave the USA for a month and return to London. I might not come back. I really love my family, and I don't see that much here in the USA for me." I didn't show it then, but my jaw hit the floor. I had played the straight-flush of scarcity cards on the 1st date by telling her I was possibly moving back to my home city in 6 months. She slapped me across the face with the royal-flush of scarcity cards with. "Oh yeah?? I might be leaving the country....FOR GOOD". I went into panic mode. She experienced my car that night when we bounced from the restaurant to a cozy, late night coffee shop. I drove. The next date I invited her over to my modest but nice place to cook her steaks. I had talked to my older, married friends and we all agreed I needed to go in for the kill to keep her from giving up on the USA and me, by default. While we were making out for the first time on my couch, completely ignoring the DVD I put in, I told her I cared for her and she better come back. I told her if it would facilitate her return I'd even consider her moving in with me (since her roommate moved out a couple months earlier, unafordable rent was apparently a exacerbating issue). I wanted to appear like the hero-provider she might need. Unfortunately, things were never the same after that. Although we stayed in close touch via messengers, it got to the point a week later where I noticed her getting more and more distant. Instead of finding a new place, she put her furniture in a temporary storage unit. I told her I wanted her to show me her "round trip" (not just one way) tickets or I simply was not going to talk to her anymore. "I am not going to continue to get involved with a girl that was going to pull a disappearing act on me in a 10 days". She started turning that position against me. "Oh great! Typical Westerner! You're so flaky you would have the relationship fortitude to wait a month to see what happens?? I told you I'm not sure." I waited an hour for her to get off work in customs to apologize to her face to face. This only seemed to make things worse. I was now "chasing her". She had struck a nerve in me and I was not going to let her just walk away.
After what I believed was a reconciliation coffee date at the airport the day before she left, I thought we were straight again. But within two weeks of leaving, she played the cold fish over the WhatsApp Messenger, and I just gave up. Until a month later. One of my pilot buddies texted me that he was staring right at her at her old job again. I messaged her. She replied by acknowledging she was indeed back, but only to give her things to charity and sell her car, a 12 year old beater. She said she didn't want to contact me so as not to get my hopes up again, but now that I knew, could we meet. we met the next night at our coffee shop. What followed was a 2 hour apology and forgiveness exchange. I promised myself that I would not put any physical moves on her. She asked me if I had been interested in something serious with her. I told her, "Of course silly. I could fly over to London whenever I want. to do a super-long-distance relationship". She told me she only felt like she could do "friends" for now. So, I got friend zoned.
Tenuously we have stayed in touch over the last 4 months. I've always been the initiator of contact, but only a few sentences a once a month or so. She's been polite in replying, but I never push any reunions with her or tell her anything "romantic". Inside I've been rung out. It's like an emotional roller-coaster. Her family had a minor tragedy. I saw her posting in Arabic about it on Facebook. With genuine concern, I inquired. She was open to me. She told me her whole family was in grief. She was feeling lost. Over WhatsApp, we slowly started bonding again. Then, at Christmas, she sent me a warm Christmas wish on her own volition. AND, some interesting news. SHE'S MOVING BACK. Now she tells me, her visa in the U.K. is only good for 6 moths at a time there too. She's always played her had super-close to her chest. She's been taught by her culture to be very suspicious of any "stranger". I guess me included. We are still just friends. For now the plan is not to press anything until she is here for a couple months. I'd be a fool to tell you I don't want her in a serious relationship with me ASAP though.
What say the gurus as to how this should continue?? I don't want to play in the friend-zone too long, but for the first few weeks, I think that's inevitable. Because of the circumstances outside both our control, I was forced to show my hand way too soon. We blew out her flame together, in a way. Me more than her though. I got all insecure. It showed. She's definitely one league above me. Did she see I wasn't the rich pilot yet she thought she'd met, and just gave me the friends-or-nothing option? She does like her stunning ball gowns and Fendi bags. She's a very intelligent, worldly woman. I told her the 6-figures are coming soon. But at this time, I was finally making enough to stick my head up and look around again after a long period of putting in my dues. I donno.
