I'm 32 and she is 22. Is that okay?

[dmvmang]

Hi Everybody, wanted to get some advice from you. I'm 32 years old who works in the health and wellness field and am a local keyboard player. I have been having such a hard time finding a girlfriend. I am not ugly lol. I have been dating older women, but it just never works. So after a while I just said I would stop looking. At a gym I workout at there is this 22 year old front desk clerk(who is in college). Didn't really notice her, but until recently and growing more attracted to her. My first and second encounter with her I noticed when she scanned my card sne gave me this side eye stare. Third or fourth time she said something like "You look to serious all the time." She then made a face of how I looked. Then she said "when I think hard. my friends said I look that way."

When I come in the gym I have my earphones on and in the zone. I haven't heard it in a while. but this girl said I look mean and need to smile more. Another time I came in she said "you need to smile more". Her coworker looked at me and said a hello. I just said okay to both of them. When I went in again she made hand movements for me to smile. She then said made the hand movements again for me to smile and then she said "you need to smile more. we talked about this." Yesterday I was resting from working out and I must have had an angry face and then I looked up and saw her. She made hand movements from a far for me again to smile (did it twice). When she was cleaning up, I looked at her when she was cleaning or doing something on the treadmill and she said goodbye. What do you think? Should I ask if she has a boyfriend? I better move on this because other guys try to get at her. k\

I'm trying to figure out if she has a boyfriend? Why does she care if I smile or not? I was worried about the immaturity differences between me and her. Looking at her instagram I see no pictures with a boyfriend. One is with a guy who is cropped out. So do I ask her if she has a boyfriend. I thought about asking her to my bands gig next month. I was jamming with my band in the studio and my bandmate ask me why are you playing sad chords? You in love man? I couldn't stop thinking about her lol. Any advice? Thanks.

 

[Tictac]

You are way over-thinking this.

Ask her out. Everything you are ruminating about will become clear as you do.

Do NOT ask her if she has a boyfriend. Simply ask her out for a drink.

 

[AllDay85]

Hi Everybody, wanted to get some advice from you. I'm 32 years old who works in the health and wellness field and am a local keyboard player. I have been having such a hard time finding a girlfriend. I am not ugly lol. I have been dating older women, but it just never works. So after a while I just said I would stop looking. At a gym I workout at there is this 22 year old front desk clerk(who is in college). Didn't really notice her, but until recently and growing more attracted to her. My first and second encounter with her I noticed when she scanned my card sne gave me this side eye stare. Third or fourth time she said something like "You look to serious all the time." She then made a face of how I looked. Then she said "when I think hard. my friends said I look that way."

When I come in the gym I have my earphones on and in the zone. I haven't heard it in a while. but this girl said I look mean and need to smile more. Another time I came in she said "you need to smile more". Her coworker looked at me and said a hello. I just said okay to both of them. When I went in again she made hand movements for me to smile. She then said made the hand movements again for me to smile and then she said "you need to smile more. we talked about this." Yesterday I was resting from working out and I must have had an angry face and then I looked up and saw her. She made hand movements from a far for me again to smile (did it twice). When she was cleaning up, I looked at her when she was cleaning or doing something on the treadmill and she said goodbye. What do you think? Should I ask if she has a boyfriend? I better move on this because other guys try to get at her. k\

I'm trying to figure out if she has a boyfriend? Why does she care if I smile or not? I was worried about the immaturity differences between me and her. Looking at her instagram I see no pictures with a boyfriend. One is with a guy who is cropped out. So do I ask her if she has a boyfriend. I thought about asking her to my bands gig next month. I was jamming with my band in the studio and my bandmate ask me why are you playing sad chords? You in love man? I couldn't stop thinking about her lol. Any advice? Thanks.

Read anti-dumps machine. It's at the bottom of the bible.

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

 

[El Payaso]

I don't understand how you've been here for almost four years and you don't even know the basics. Why the fvck would you ask her if she has a boyfriend? You're not in elementary school. Ask her out for coffee or drinks. Escalate from there.

 

[Infern0]

I sense an impending doom here tbh.

Brush up on the basics and then ask her out and for the love of god don't get attatched

 

[Mot1veProgress]

I don't think you're ready man. Barely flirted with her yet lol.. But IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY! So now that that's out the way, work on it man..

 

[l__i__l]

She may have asked you to smile as you could be creeping her out.
Never invest, just ask them out.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

She may have asked you to smile as you could be creeping her out.
Never invest, just ask them out.

"Just ask them out".. Hrm, gonna go out on a limb and say if she told you to smile a buncha times, she's already got you in a "weirdo" group.. She's not only said it tohim once, but multiple times. At this point she's just seeing him on this low ass ground it seems borderline bullying (best term I can think of sorry) . Working at a gym all day is not fun.. She's just saying **** that people probably told her "smile more".. on her dull ass job.

Just imagine what position he's already in.. ASking her out is going to be humiliating and there's no fix for making a dumb move when she already looks at you like this lacking social skills type person.. He's gotta flirt and assume a higher ground with her first.


However, it's hard to evaluate the situation without being there.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

Is it safe to say you lack social skills OP? These guys on here are setting you up for failure.. Not surprised when I seen their ages (60 yr old / 47).. SMFH.. The heck is this? the 1970s? Dont listen to that crap. She'll think you're a friggin bigger weirdo if you ask her out after her belittling you like you dont know how to smile

 

[l__i__l]

Is it safe to say you lack social skills OP? These guys on here are setting you up for failure.. Not surprised when I seen their ages (60 yr old / 47).. SMFH.. The heck is this? the 1970s? Dont listen to that crap. She'll think you're a friggin bigger weirdo if you ask her out after her belittling you like you dont know how to smile

You need to stop insulting members ages and adhere to the issue at hand.

The reason OP should ask her out is because he is clearly infatuated and has invested time and energy.
OP needs closure. Following your advice which is to do 'nothing' will simply be detrimental as it will:

• Prolong OP's agony on wondering if she likes him or not
• Continue to waste his time on scrutinizing all future interactions

If I was in the OP's position I would ask her out by, "You seem to be obsessed with me needing to smile, let's go for a coffee and you can teach me all about it'.

1. If she says yes - OP benefits.
2. If she says No, I would simply respond "Then please stop distracting me every time I walk in here, I am purposely focused to have a solid workout".
3. She wouldn't ask OP to smile again - OP benefits.
4. OP will get closure and can move on - OP benefits.

No reason to fear rejection.

 

[Stephen89]

Ask her out man! Say you want to meet up for a coffee, you are over thinking this.

 

[yungballa]

I don't think age matters much if you're both adults and as long as you aint some saggy balls a$$ grey haired old man and she's some honey comin fresh outta college.

Stop worrying about whether or not girls have boyfriends/husbands/****buddies, whatever. Do not worry if a girl has a man she is seeing in her life. It doesn't concern you unless its your girlfriend or wife. If she's just a girl that you're attracted to and you want to game, don't care about who she sees. That's her business. What you should focus on is what YOU have with her. All that should matter to you is what you have with her. Also, keep in mind that almost ALL girls have males pursuing after them, so there is almost ALWAYS competition. Sorry, that's just how it is. So, in the mean time its best you just stop giving a fvck who the girl is seeing; and stay focused on what only YOU are doing with her. (Stuff like this is said in the DJ bible. I don't know if you've read it, but I think you should read it. IIRC, it is said in the DJ bible that the DJ is not concerned about what the woman is doing with othr men, but only what HE is doing with that female. The DJ is patient.)

OP, if you want my advice: do not over think this. It's simple math. You're probably attracted to her and you want to game her right? Well, she initiated contact with you first, right? Just ASSUME she is interested in you and continue to raise her interest until she gives multiple signs that she does not want you.

Take it step by step. The next time she talks to you I think you should chat her up, get to know her, flirt with her and use kino. Be yourself, but be your BEST self. Then get her number and ask her out. She rejects? Fvck her then, kick her to the curb lol. NEXT her, plenty of women on this planet.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I suggest you to keep it effective but safe at the same time.

Do not ask if she has a boyfriend, and do not ask her out without a decent knowledge of her allignment toward you since its a place you often go and surely cant screw up or be the subject of rumors and gossips.

My suggestion is have small talks with her everyday, check out how she replies to you (long or short answers, open answers or not, questions following etc), this way you gauge how she feels near you.

Pointless to ask her out if she replies to your question in short one word answers and looks away all the time.

So first, know the field then know the subject then proceed accordingly and keep in mind its a place you need to be welcomed since you go there often, plus dont screw up cause otherwise you close your opportunities with other girls in that environment.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

You need to stop insulting members ages and adhere to the issue at hand.

The reason OP should ask her out is because he is clearly infatuated and has invested time and energy.
OP needs closure. Following your advice which is to do 'nothing' will simply be detrimental as it will:

• Prolong OP's agony on wondering if she likes him or not
• Continue to waste his time on scrutinizing all future interactions

If I was in the OP's position I would ask her out by, "You seem to be obsessed with me needing to smile, let's go for a coffee and you can teach me all about it'.

1. If she says yes - OP benefits.
2. If she says No, I would simply respond "Then please stop distracting me every time I walk in here, I am purposely focused to have a solid workout".
3. She wouldn't ask OP to smile again - OP benefits.
4. OP will get closure and can move on - OP benefits.

No reason to fear rejection.

Was simply asking him aquesiton. Notice, that there are people in this world who have social issues.. and aren't afraid to talk about it (Ie: someone just started a thread earlier this week about social issues)

The thing that oyu didn't understand is he didn't invest ny time and energy in her at all. He only saw her as he walked past to go into the gym everytime.. How is that investing time and energy?

She's practically belittling him as if he doesn't know how to smile. Saying it once , twice is cute.. 3-4, 5 and 6 times? Now that's belittling. She couldn't talk about anything else? Why? Because she's not interested in talking about anything else


Cmon wake up.

 

[RangerMIke]

Stop thinking start acting. Ask her out.

Age... don't make me laugh, I go out with women literally half my age.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

and another thing.. a "side eye stare" is not any indicator for interest.. 90% of the time a side eye stare is what you give someone whos annoying or you're irritated by their presence..

which makes perfect sense why near 6 times she befittingly told you to smile more.

common ****in body language.

I asked 2 chicks I know about this just to confirm what I'm saying is true.. and trust me, these guys in this thread are misleading you.

Kinda reminds me of this guy I knwo whos younger than me who would think every girl likes them just becuase girls would "look at him". Not realizing they were looking becuase they have eyes and they are bound to look at other moving, living and breathing entities.



I understand why you might have interpreted the interaction in a different way.. Because you're coming from a state of desperation. After all you said you have had trouble finding a girlfriend and had other issues. It all makes sense..


We need PlayerSupreme back on here to let you know what it really is.

 

[dmvmang]

Welp some were right. I haven't seen her in two weeks as I was busy with work and gigging with my band and playing in my church. I got some time to speak to her today, because I bought too big of a lock for the gym locker. She let me put my bag behind the desk. She seemed pretty quiet. I quickly studied her body language and she seemed tired. She also had those short one word answers. In my head I said she ain't interested. She slouched and had her back to the fitness desk with her eyes low. I thought she might be high lol. Oh well as I left I got my bag and said thanks. She didn't seem her upbeat self. I will just play it from here. Really wanted to talk to her today, as I was going to. But she was not in the mood at all. So I kept it short. Everyone had good advice, even thought I didn't want to hear it lol. Pretty much I was overthinking this, and will just be more aggressive (not to much)/straight forward.

 

[LiveFreeX]

My wife is 9 years my junior... so... yeah its fine so long as you aren't dating an American woman.

Free TiTs.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Welp some were right. I haven't seen her in two weeks as I was busy with work and gigging with my band and playing in my church. I got some time to speak to her today, because I bought too big of a lock for the gym locker. She let me put my bag behind the desk. She seemed pretty quiet. I quickly studied her body language and she seemed tired. She also had those short one word answers. In my head I said she ain't interested. She slouched and had her back to the fitness desk with her eyes low. I thought she might be high lol. Oh well as I left I got my bag and said thanks. She didn't seem her upbeat self. I will just play it from here. Really wanted to talk to her today, as I was going to. But she was not in the mood at all. So I kept it short. Everyone had good advice, even thought I didn't want to hear it lol. Pretty much I was overthinking this, and will just be more aggressive (not to much)/straight forward.

Your window is closed now, unfortunately. Reading this post just confirms it.

Just my opinion, but she was interested in you enough to joke with you and give you sh1t. In the future, recognize when a woman is making herself available to you, and take action.

Seeing as how your original post was on the 23rd, I think it wouldn't go well if you asked her out now. Instead, you should have playfully jabbed back at her when she was joking about your smile, and taken that opening to converse with her, kept it light, and go for the digits.