Our Creator made us a certain way in order to carry on the species.
When you're young and single, sex is all about power and conquering territory. It has very little to do with love and deep affection. When you mature, and especially after you get married, sex becomes a very different thing. Lust, although still there in a measure, is replaced by a physical act of
bonding physically and spiritually.
You're just going through a change in maturity, noticing it, and haven't resolved it yet. It's a level of confusion that is somewhat similar to and yet oppisite of puberty. It is anti-puberty!
You have conquered your wife. The territory is yours. Sex no longer serves that function for you. I recommend that you help the process along by reframing sex with your wife. Start to look at it as a way to bond on a spiritual level with her. That doesn't mean become some wimpy, "I want to make love to you" kind of guy. She wants to be banged from here to eternity, I'm sure. Just do a reframe whare it is an opportunity to give to each other. You may not realize it, but this is what is happening inside of you anyway, so you might as well not fight it. Nature ALWAYS wins.
Now that I have everybody's attention, I will state the following:
There are only two reasons that a man would have any desire whatsoever to get married. There are no other reasons that a man would give up his glorious freedom. Number one is free, easy sex. Getting sex, for men, is work. Hard work. Game is work. After a while a guy wants to settle down in order to get it for free. Number two is servitude. A woman has most of the power in the selection process, but that power balance shifts overnight (with an alpha male) and she trades her singleness and freedom for a life of servitude. A woman is supposed to be a helper to man, not his equal (role-wise, although worth-wise, yes). Who does your laundry? Who irons you clothes and cooks your dinner. That is servitude. Her role is to help to prepare you for your daily battles in business and in life.
Why does she choose servitude (althought she may complain about it these days she still chooses it)? Because she is a child and inately knows that she needs a servant-leader to help her through life and guide her. She also needs her man to be the rocky shore against which her stormy emotions crash.
That is the world according to Atom Smasher, and it is so. I say that with all humility...
BB, you are growing up and that ALWAYS feels very uncomfortable and even scary. It tuly can be like smashing against a brick wall at 100 mph, just like puberty is. Embrace it and go with it, or at least detach from it. What will happen is that you will level out, and acheive proper balance. You will sometimes be an absolute horn-dog with your wife, and other times settle into a deeper relationship that is less dependent on sex.
Marriage changes things, and that's not a bad thing. It irons out the excesses and brings a man up to higher responsibility.
I fully understand that you, BB, understand some of the stuff I'm saying, although hopefully I've given you a piece of insight or two. I'm writing in this manner more for the young 'uns.
