I'm 24 and never had a girlfriend and have no dating experience, what advice do you have for me?

[superstorm250]

Like the title says, I'm 24 and never had a girlfriend and I have no dating/relationship experience. I've only been on 1 date and have had sex once back when I was 21, but I don't think that's enough to count as dating experience. I got into this situation because I have very low confidence when it comes to getting girls and I've had that my whole life, even back as early as 1st grade I was like this and I even foresaw the situation I'm in now happening even all the way back then. I just feel like I'm screwed, I work by myself as an independent contractor right now, so I'm not around any other people at work, and school is all other guys in the classes because my classes are about working in a brewery.

So one big problem that I've had since graduating high school 5 years ago is that I'm never around any girls, except for a month and a half out of the year when I go work at my summer job. This past work season there, I actually met a girl and there was mutual attraction but I fuked it up when I tried to text her (dodged a bullet with her though, saw her liking some really dark sh*t about abusing animals and other messed up things on Facebook). But I can never pull the trigger and ask a girl out even if she's giving me clear signals, I still always assume she's gonna say no, or that I'll just mess things up some other way (like by her being turned off by learning that I've never dated before) even if she does say yes. It really holds me back, and I need to try and move past this mindset. I've never used dating apps, but I'm really considering them now even though I still have doubts about how successful guys are on them. I would probably start with Tinder and Match.com and hope for the best.

 

[user43770]

We've all been there at some point, bud. Don't feel too bad about yourself.

Reading the dj bible will help you to understand how the game works, but you basically have to fvck up with women to get any better at it.

Online dating is easy, yet time consuming. Definitely worth a look. Start talking to women when you run errands. It's scary at first, and pretty much always will be, but challenge yourself anyway.

If you aren't super good looking, there's no easy answer. Get out there and learn the hard way like the lot of us. You'll stumble into some pvssy eventually.

The key to success with women is in actually making an effort. How bad do you want it?

 

[Elias.Barbarian]

The easiest way to get over the anxiety is to make it a game.

Go out today and make eye contact with 10 women.
Then do the same but add a smile.
After, you ask ten women for the time or directions or some ****.
After that, you approach and ask if she can recommend a restaurant/bar around the area.

....

Work your way up to genuine approaches in this way.

And then you just go out and approach 100 women and try to score an instant date - go for it. Just say "Hey whats up - you look like you're interesting" - it does not really matter.
You will most likely be rejected and get into all kinds of weird situations. But that is good. Hope that it gets really awkward. Because every time you go through that you give fewer ****s and ultimately you will not think twice about approaching and asking a woman out. And if she says no you will not flinch for a second, because you know from experience that the world will keep spinning.

I know it sounds scary, but you can do this whole thing on a weekend if you're serious about it. This is the best way of getting started.
So go out and get it done, you can thank me later.


Best,
E.

 

[sosousage]

tinder is great way to get deppresed. i know 4 woman from OLD that currently keep in touch with me but i spend year on that app or something. its not worth it

 

[user43770]

tinder is great way to get deppresed. i know 4 woman from OLD that currently keep in touch with me but i spend year on that app or something. its not worth it

Then you need to lower your standards online or try to meet women in real life.

If it isn't working, try something different. That's life.

Or just make money and bang prostitutes.

 

[DonDraper7]

The best advice i probably have for you is: Don't be afraid to fail. Because you will fail at start with girls, we all did. But the good news is that's how you learn and grow as a man.

Before approaching i would suggest you take a good look at yourself and see what can you improve physically and mentally: like starting to go the gym and lift, groom yourself better, buy better fitted clothes, read a lot, find interesting hobbies etc. you get the picture. You need to develop the level of self-confidence where you can look in the mirror and say "I am the prize, any girl would be fvcking lucky to have me because i'm a damn good man, but if not, it's her loss". Developing that is hard, but that's one of the things this forum is for, we all went through it.

And last but not least, dating and success is a number's game. Not every girl you approach will give you her number or go out with you no matter how good you look. The trick is not to let that affect you and get you down in any way and don't put the girl(s) on the pedestal like they are better than you. You can do it brother, good luck!

 

[MrJack]

1. Stop whacking off the porn. Don't ever look at it again.

2. Stop whacking off period for a month at least

3. Get out more with friends

4. Go to the gym and get buff, it'll sharpen your mind as well as your body as well as your overall confidence

5. Like someone else said, make a game out of it. Go into it with ZERO expectations. That way you aren't as disappointed if you get rejected.

And that's the thing, we ALL have experienced rejection some more than others. You will never get to a point where you experience zero rejection, it's simply a part of the game and you must learn to not let it phase you. Just stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

I realize this is way easier said than done but I'm living proof of this. I used to have your same mindset to the point where even if I landed a date and had a girl interested in me, I would blow her off and let it fizzle out because I was afraid that I MIGHT fail when the time came to hangout.

You never know what could happen don't let the fear control you.

Do these things while reading this forum and other sources of inspiration/knowledge and you will slowly shift in the right direction.

Good luck bud.

 

[wifehunter]

Forget women, and buy Bitcoin.

Then, later.... when the economy isn't a heaping pile of pig sh!t, revisit your idea to get involved with the ladies.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Getting skills with dating and girls is just like any other skill. Start small, practice regularly, and your skills will increase. The common mistake is to think that by "thinking differently" or having access to information will make it easier.

Just start as small as comfortably as you can, and continue to PRACTICE every day. If you do too much too soon, you'll burn out. See it as a 2-3 year process, which will hopefully turn into a lifelong process.

It's not something you just "do" because you want to any more than you wander into a martial arts studio and spar with black belts because you just watched a kung fu movie.

Start slowly.

Improve slowly.

Don't make excuses.

Do something everyday that is just a little bit outside your comfort zone, socially.

That is all.

 

[cityboy989]

There's no rush on getting a girlfriend. There really isn't. And you're not a virgin either so is it really a big deal? I understand your concerns with dating, and yes you need to sharpen your skills, because the ONLY time you should enter a relationship is if the girl knocks your socks off. Don't ever settle just to show the world "hey I have a girlfriend!!!" That's really not fulfilling.

 

[wifehunter]

There's no rush on getting a girlfriend. There really isn't. And you're not a virgin either so is it really a big deal? I understand your concerns with dating, and yes you need to sharpen your skills, because the ONLY time you should enter a relationship is if the girl knocks your socks off. Don't ever settle just to show the world "hey I have a girlfriend!!!" That's really not fulfilling.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have a friend who had been the 30-something year old virgin, with his only dates being setups for a few school dances (we went to an all-boys school). He finally got to the point where he said he had to do something about it, so he asked everybody he knew if they knew someone they could set him up with. Amazingly, no one set him up with real fatties. He ended up marrying the one girl who sexed him - and believe me, she did all the moves. She said that he was the only man she had ever dated who did not have a criminal record , so I suspect that she wanted a change too - and she turned out to be a very responsible person.

 

[Von]

I have a friend who had been the 30-something year old virgin, with his only dates being setups for a few school dances (we went to an all-boys school). He finally got to the point where he said he had to do something about it, so he asked everybody he knew if they knew someone they could set him up with. Amazingly, no one set him up with real fatties. He ended up marrying the one girl who sexed him - and believe me, she did all the moves. She said that he was the only man she had ever dated who did not have a criminal record , so I suspect that she wanted a change too - and she turned out to be a very responsible person.

Until proven guilty of course

See, interestingly I have a friend like that too

He was a virgin until 28 years old, no girlfriend etc... The guy a genious but most social awkward ever (no social skills - autist maybe)... but in clubs girls would grind him etc... yet he was a still a virgin until his current girl at 28.

I know the girl, I know most of her ex.... she was paying there debt, their mortgage, picking the **** the guys were doing etc...

At 30, she's likely done the CC and probably got tired of dating losers who were abusing her and her goodwill.... she found a simple-innocent guy with a great futur ahead of him and locked him down.

If the guy is happy GREAT, if the girl is happy and faithful GREAT...

Its only by experience you know what you want.... alot of people here seek to defend their egos too much cause they fragile.

To OP, its fine, here's 3 advice:
1) Read DJ bible, Rational Male, David DeAngelo books
2) Find a guy with whom to play an approach game.... simple one... He will point at girls and tell you a pickup line (or what to say to her as approach)... if you don't do it... you owe him 20$... each time
3) Go progressive.... 5 approach monday, 6 approach tuesday etc... so you keep the moral and build momentum

Also, get involved for the right reasons and never take stuff personnally.

You'll always feel better acting and be rejected... than doing nothing

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'd say work like the ****ens to get PAID for a decade (maybe less). Stop at nothing to get "set" if you have no money to "inherit." Maybe work on some fighting skill or with firearms. Run or do a running sport. Drive and find places goto places (easy nowadays with the smartphone/gps). Educate yourself on history. Become apart of something greater than yourself. Make friends with highly respectable people within your community. If you are not part of a "family," you'll NEVER get a good woman these days (who will not eventually fvck you over in court). If you are not known or have a "track record," then women can not hear of you as "good" from others. Even if she does hear of your worthiness, she may still be young and emotional and infatuated with another "better-looking" guy in the moment. You can still pursue her cause you have the wits the track record and the integrity among people of good stock. Women are to be TAMED, for 1000s of years it has been this way. ONLY NOW are they thinking that they refuse to be "tamed," that for you as a man were to SAY that, then she and most Other of today's women would LABEL you "sexist" - remember, not even a Word back in the old days. I would just live honorably, just, hard, strong, well-paid, smell good, fight good. In essence, just WORK HARD in your young time. Don't worry about playing too much until you're well on your way to financial freedom. And protect your as5.

 

[cityboy989]

Until proven guilty of course

See, interestingly I have a friend like that too

He was a virgin until 28 years old, no girlfriend etc... The guy a genious but most social awkward ever (no social skills - autist maybe)... but in clubs girls would grind him etc... yet he was a still a virgin until his current girl at 28.

I know the girl, I know most of her ex.... she was paying there debt, their mortgage, picking the **** the guys were doing etc...

At 30, she's likely done the CC and probably got tired of dating losers who were abusing her and her goodwill.... she found a simple-innocent guy with a great futur ahead of him and locked him down.

If the guy is happy GREAT, if the girl is happy and faithful GREAT...

Its only by experience you know what you want.... alot of people here seek to defend their egos too much cause they fragile.

To OP, its fine, here's 3 advice:
1) Read DJ bible, Rational Male, David DeAngelo books
2) Find a guy with whom to play an approach game.... simple one... He will point at girls and tell you a pickup line (or what to say to her as approach)... if you don't do it... you owe him 20$... each time
3) Go progressive.... 5 approach monday, 6 approach tuesday etc... so you keep the moral and build momentum

Also, get involved for the right reasons and never take stuff personnally.

You'll always feel better acting and be rejected... than doing nothing

You hear about that on these forums alot-- girls who ride the CC until they're 30 then they find a beta to settle down with. And the betas who settle down with these chicks and give them the world are screwy themselves. I'd like to know the actual success rate on those relationships. Girls who rode the CC are most likely unstable/damaged in some way. Riding the CC rapes a persons ability of having a healthy romantic relationship. If they were even capable BEFORE they rode the CC. I personally know of one girl who did exactly that, and her and her beta broke up in like 2 or 3 years

 

[user43770]

You hear about that on these forums alot-- girls who ride the CC until they're 30 then they find a beta to settle down with. And the betas who settle down with these chicks and give them the world are screwy themselves. I'd like to know the actual success rate on those relationships. Girls who rode the CC are most likely unstable/damaged in some way. Riding the CC rapes a persons ability of having a healthy romantic relationship. If they were even capable BEFORE they rode the CC. I personally know of one girl who did exactly that, and her and her beta broke up in like 2 or 3 years

I wonder about that too. How much does a woman's previous wh0re life have an effect on her current life?

@Danger has posted studies before, but they basically prove your suspicion lol. The more dudes a woman fvcks, the less she's mentally capable of having a sustainable marraige.

Then again, someone needs to marry them. Why not you? Lol why not ruin your life over a bit of puss? It's easy, right? If nothing else it's easy.

I fvcking tend to ramble. No offense meant

 

[Fruitbat]

You clearly aren't an outgoing person given what you said.

My advice is to work in sales for a bit. You will have some horrible sod managing you. You aren't outgoing so you won't be a natural. Your a$$ will be kicked so hard that through fear of failure you'll learn to be outgoing. You'll learn how to talk and strike up conversations with people.

Later, as you progress, you will be presenting to massive rooms full of people and develop that magnetism and charm which transcends money and looks.

Worked for me