c0nfus3d1ne
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2008
- Messages
- 72
- Reaction score
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I need advice on why women aren't showing interest in me and what I should do and where I should go to meet women. I want to give details about my life so responses are relevant to my personality and situation.
First, I'm a 23 year old black male that lives in a big city. I never attended college. I consider myself to be smart (I'm always reading and self-educating myself). I don't drink or do drugs. I don't go to bars or clubs. I haven't attended a party in years.
Second, I'm not ugly nor am I a stud. If the website hotornot.com matters, I uploaded a rather bland photo and my score averaged at 7.6. I'm 5'10'' and weigh 140lbs. I would like to gain 20lbs but my illness (crohn's disease) prohibits me from gaining weight. I eat more than enough calories in a day, but no dice. It doesn't help that my father was the same way at my age. He used to have a 28" waist but now he's 220lbs. I keep my appearance nice. My breath never stinks and I wash daily. I don't have long disgusting fingernails or dandruff flakes in my hair. I like to wear appealing, but affordable clothing. You will never see me in name brand or expensive designer clothing.
My enjoy writing, reading, computers, movies, basketball, amusement parks, video games, eating out, swimming, hiking/camping, extreme sports, traveling, and others. I have a great sense of humor and it really shines when I know a person well. I'm also a good listener and a generous, helpful person. I know the signs of a weak male and I try not to exhibit these signs in my daily activities. I used to be very shy and would put women on pedestals. Thank God I'm no longer that way. If I did get a chick's number, I wouldn't call an hour later or leave multiple messages. I know not to ever be desperate or always available. I won't buy flowers on the first date or be a shoulder to cry on for a chick that will never date me. I at least have some knowledge about how to carry myself and act around women.
I could've had girlfriends in high school but I was so shy it's not even funny. I remember the first day of 10th grade, these attractive girls asked me to sit at their table for lunch but I got so scared that I said 'no' and sat somewhere else.
I also used to talk to this pretty Puerto Rican chick on the phone everyday for like two hours. I can't really remember our conversations but I do remember it used to turn sexual 95% of the time. I remember it sounded like 1-900 phone sex. I was only 13 or 14 then and didn't know **** to say so I started avoiding her calls. She one time asked me to meet her after school because her parents weren't gonna be home and I stood her up. I'm sure that I knew what she wanted to do but I was scared about messing up I that couldn't bring myself to meet her.
These aren't the only two instances when females gave me attention. I simply didn't know how to act around girls at that time.
I do want to change one thing about my life and that's to hang out with guys. I think this will help me meet women than being solo all the time.
Other than this change, what else can I do? My goal is to have a girlfriend within six months. I'm tired of being alone. No one to call up and go someplace with. I'm very good at conversation and keeping eye contact. I don't walk around lacking confidence. I try to always speak loudly and not mumble my words. I used to mumble and slur my words a lot.
What has gotten me down is smiling and making contact with random girls throughout the day doesn't even net a smile back. It's like there's a huge pimple on my nose and no one is telling me about it.
First, I'm a 23 year old black male that lives in a big city. I never attended college. I consider myself to be smart (I'm always reading and self-educating myself). I don't drink or do drugs. I don't go to bars or clubs. I haven't attended a party in years.
Second, I'm not ugly nor am I a stud. If the website hotornot.com matters, I uploaded a rather bland photo and my score averaged at 7.6. I'm 5'10'' and weigh 140lbs. I would like to gain 20lbs but my illness (crohn's disease) prohibits me from gaining weight. I eat more than enough calories in a day, but no dice. It doesn't help that my father was the same way at my age. He used to have a 28" waist but now he's 220lbs. I keep my appearance nice. My breath never stinks and I wash daily. I don't have long disgusting fingernails or dandruff flakes in my hair. I like to wear appealing, but affordable clothing. You will never see me in name brand or expensive designer clothing.
My enjoy writing, reading, computers, movies, basketball, amusement parks, video games, eating out, swimming, hiking/camping, extreme sports, traveling, and others. I have a great sense of humor and it really shines when I know a person well. I'm also a good listener and a generous, helpful person. I know the signs of a weak male and I try not to exhibit these signs in my daily activities. I used to be very shy and would put women on pedestals. Thank God I'm no longer that way. If I did get a chick's number, I wouldn't call an hour later or leave multiple messages. I know not to ever be desperate or always available. I won't buy flowers on the first date or be a shoulder to cry on for a chick that will never date me. I at least have some knowledge about how to carry myself and act around women.
I could've had girlfriends in high school but I was so shy it's not even funny. I remember the first day of 10th grade, these attractive girls asked me to sit at their table for lunch but I got so scared that I said 'no' and sat somewhere else.
I also used to talk to this pretty Puerto Rican chick on the phone everyday for like two hours. I can't really remember our conversations but I do remember it used to turn sexual 95% of the time. I remember it sounded like 1-900 phone sex. I was only 13 or 14 then and didn't know **** to say so I started avoiding her calls. She one time asked me to meet her after school because her parents weren't gonna be home and I stood her up. I'm sure that I knew what she wanted to do but I was scared about messing up I that couldn't bring myself to meet her.
These aren't the only two instances when females gave me attention. I simply didn't know how to act around girls at that time.
I do want to change one thing about my life and that's to hang out with guys. I think this will help me meet women than being solo all the time.
Other than this change, what else can I do? My goal is to have a girlfriend within six months. I'm tired of being alone. No one to call up and go someplace with. I'm very good at conversation and keeping eye contact. I don't walk around lacking confidence. I try to always speak loudly and not mumble my words. I used to mumble and slur my words a lot.
What has gotten me down is smiling and making contact with random girls throughout the day doesn't even net a smile back. It's like there's a huge pimple on my nose and no one is telling me about it.
