I'm 22, have no friends, and can't remember when I made eye contact w/ a girl

[entgs2]

Hi:

The title pretty much states it all. I don't mean this to be a whiny post, and as such, I won't be looking backwards, but just imagine that I've lived in the mountains away from all humanity for the past decade.

So, my question is, how would you begin to learn pick up, assuming practically nil experience with women and severely lacking in social skills? I've read way too much material for my own good already. Clearly, going to a nightclub and same night laying the hottest girl there is possible only in my dreams; to tell the truth, I've never even been to a nightclub or bar (or party).

I'm way too scared to try direct game, knowing that I'll probably creep her out. But should I approach the hottest girls, the ugly/average girls, guys, try to build a social circle, start out with whatever ugly GF I could get? Since most pick up techniques are geared towards hot girls in night clubs, some adjustments will need to be made, but I don't have the common sense to make them.

Not sure if getting hot girls will ever be possible, and my goals are aptly much more modest.

I've tried asking random people for the time, directions, etc. and although I get nervous doing even this, I can do it, but it's beating around the bush and doesn't expand my social circle in any way. The eye contact mission is total bull****, because nobody ever makes eye contact (at least not with me) while walking down the street. So what are some ways to push the envelope slightly from here? Any missions will be more than welcome.

I guess the one good part about having little social experience is that I have no negative social experiences, so I get a chance to craft my personality from scratch, while being conscious of the process.

(Ir)relevant Information:

1. I'm pretty ugly. 6.2 on hotornot, which means hotter than 55% of guys, so that's a 5.5. In reality, I'm below average, because if you look at the girls who get 6.2's, I wouldn't give them even a 3.
1b. I'm short to average height. 5'9”. And an ethnicity that doesn't score points with women (although I don't have a foreign accent).

2. While I'm not fat, I have a bit of a flabby gut and a double chin. I've started to lift weights, but my frame is thin and my will power is weak. Still, since this is the one aspect of my looks that is under my control, I'm going to try to do the best that I can.

3. Needless to say, I've never even held hands with a girl and am a virgin.

4. I'm not wealthy.

5. I'm not funny, or witty or anything like that. Nor do I have any interesting stories to tell or experiences to share, although I assume that this will improve as I gain more social experience.

If you've read this far, you must have some thoughts. Go ahead and reply. Comments, flames, etc are welcome from everyone. Thanks!

 

[FairShake]

Fvck b1tches, Make friends.

And that can be read a couple different ways.

Friends last longer, give you a more varied life, make life worth living. You just cannot have a good solid relationship with a woman or man without friends and/or close family. You will lean on your other too much. Without other influences in your life you leave yourself open to the elements...and loneliness.

 

[slaog]

Clearly, going to a nightclub and same night laying the hottest girl there is possible only in my dreams; to tell the truth,

but I don't have the common sense to make them.

Not sure if getting hot girls will ever be possible, and my goals are aptly much more modest.

You've a really low opinion of yourself. Low self esteem and negative thinking turn people off, men and women.


By having a low opinion of yourself you're disrespecting yourself. You're living in a sort of matrix of having a low opinion of yourself. Once you can see the matrix it'll loose its power over you. In other words you'll see that the way you think about yourself is all nonsense and not based in reality.


If I was you I'd concentrate on developing yourself before you start trying out the pick up material.


Regarding the no eye contact... it could be your body language. I'm guessing you have closed body language and might act awkward around people. Most communication is done through BL so others will notice you being awkward and that makes them feel awkward. The good news is this can be changed easily and quickly. Just make it a new habit and with better BL people will respond more positively to you.

 

[littlebear]

Your post is pretty pathetic and all too common. I am in
the same Bo-at for many reasons.
Work to over come your challenges and best of luck.
The more you are in the fray, the better.
LB

 

[horaholic]

Caped crusader! I called it first!

 

[Irs88]

oh man. so much to work on. First of all go through Real Social Dynamics and read the book of pook/bible. Are you a nice guy?

Also read this book, it opens you mind if you are a nice guy:

robert glover's no more mr. nice guy

It isn't that long but it goes through down for the reasons why you are the way you are. I just finished it and wow it sure opened my eyes. This book isnt about "picking up woman" or other PUA stuff, its about understanding why you are a nice guy and how to make urself get out of that mindset and be a MAN. Basically a self help book. You know there are programs for people who have anger problems....think of this as a person who has "TOO nice" problems.

After you get all that reading and stuff done, go buy new clothes(im sure your clothes are out of style). On how to dress nice? simple: get dark shades of jeans, plain white shirts, graphic tees, some NICe polos(J. Crew), and some random shirts. Nothing too fancy..start with the basics. You are still young. Buy the details for men book and you can get a basic read on fashion for guys our age. A website that you can use that basically tells EVERYTHING a person our age needs to know about clothings is called: kinowear.com GO THERE and learn!

AFter you got the material and clothes down, hit the gym. Look at the threads about gym stuff in sosuave

While you do ALL of this, try to find hobbies that you like and persue them. Make new friends through existing friends, clubs, PUA lairs in your town, bars, etc.

Its going to be a long road but it will be worth it! Join clubs and town activities...even COMMUNITY SERVICE. get a job that requires you to talk to people ALL THE TIME. The point of this paragraph is to get you talking and to improve your social skills. After you get all that down, things will fall into place.

oh and my biggest mistake...DONT GO THROUGH PICK UP STUFF....YOU ARE NOT READY FOR IT...I AM NOT EITHER....work on your insecurities...your INNER GAME. pick up is garbage. Go throguh Blueprint by Real Social Dynamics and you will see why.

 

[Vice]

Go to meetup.com and join some groups that interest you. Go to the meetups and practice your social skills there. It's free, fun, and it's an easy and great way to start.

 

[Prodigy746]

Are you in college, do you live by yourself ??? Where do you live now??? PM me and i could possibly try to help you...especially if you are in college..

 

[Thyme]

yea irs88 idk if all that reading will do him that much good. i would however agree with you in that the blueprint would be absolutely perfect for him.

entgs2 (whatever the f*ck that means haha), i am going out on a limb and saying that you are LUCKY!!

what?! did he just say lucky?

yes.

of the billions on this earth, not many at all can say they came from a position as desolate as your own. but that is something to be proud of. your going to get to where you want to be, trust me (this site, and more importantly the field will get you there). when you look back months or years from now, you will be prouder then you could ever imagine.

start slow. im sure every1 will be throwing you advice left and right because you seem like an interesting case, but use common sense when listening to it all. most importantly, have fun. life shouldnt be taken so seriously

oh and watch the movie yes man... i think that movie has everything to do with what we do here

 

[Irs88]

haha of course all that shouldnt be read in like a month. Over a year is more typical. An hour at most a day. The rest of the day will be spent OUTSIDE at a job, talking to people, etc.

The mens detail book is a short picture book where it shows each item, very colorful, and fun to read really.

The robert glover book really helped me understand WHY I was nice back then and what steps do I need to take so that people don't perceive me as "nice", but as a strong individual...a man. Its more of "THE" selfhelp book for nice people.

The reasons why I put that up is because those are the ONLY things that helped me SIGNIFICANTLY from a situation similar to the OPs 2-3 years ago. The rest of the things I learned were pretty much reworded material, useless, or not worth anyones time.

 

[Poonani Maker]

entgs2, I'd recommend, doing stuff that scares you. I mean, if I were you, hmmm, I'd first of all, skydive out of a plane, for starters. Next buy a bike, go mountain bike riding, have a few crashes, scrapes, falls, snakebites. Next, get a paper route throwing papers early in the morning from your car. Next get a job involving moderate customer contact, a job where You're going to the customer not the customer coming to you, not a desk job.

Take missions, rigorous activity under pressure of time.

After doing what you fear, and constantly being active for half a year to a year and a half, you should be on the road to being able to "think on your feet" as the kids at Harvard might pay hundreds of thousands to learn how to do in law school right now.

Also, watch movies or videos that make you maybe tear up and feel love. This will make a 5.5 a 10, because everyone likes a happy confident smiling person.

Consider joining, and Attending, a church while doing all of the above. That social/spiritual network can get you a progressively better job, and quite possibly a woman, if you so desire.

 

[moneyisking]

Ok friend. you're JUST EXACTLY like i used to be.

i was so nervous around women, so so nervous, was not out going,

scared of public, crowd, really low self-esteem.

now, i am not a 100% player, but i am not very nervous around girls, can

see her in the eye, and talk to any girls if i insist by just saying watsup.

i am not going to give those bvll **** one liner advices like "be yourself" or "be confident".

let me list some things for you to do.

1. first and foremost of everything, be a MAN first. there's practically NO WAY for anyone to start gaming with your kind of mentality and inner game and achieve success. It's ALL ABOUT INNER GAME FIRST. don't worry about women for now, i guran-Fvcking-tee you if you focus on being a man first, you will get success later. problem for many ppl is that guys try to get laid w/o being a man first. unless you get extremely lucky, thats not going to happen. FOCUS ON BEING A MAN FIRST. read books on being a man, find role models, and develop manhood; i am not talking about this in gaming aspect, but in self-development aspect. i swear to god, if you're not a man, women see that. ever come across a real man? you know he's a MAN b/c you can FEEL that. no words necessary, you can FEEL he's a man; thats what you and every man need. now women are 100x more sensitive than guys, so they definitely can feel it. stop trying to score w/ chicks and learn first to be a man. go read articles about being a real man. american society does really, i mean a great fvcking job in making man into pvssies i swear. man is not someone with penis and testicles. there are great philosophies and nobility in the way of man. i am talking about philosophy and something bigger and beyond getting laid and humanity.

2. go work out. thats a must. do you have to be muscle man to attract girls? hell no. but muscle is a symbol and a psychology. it definitely helps your confidence and game, not because you have muscles, but b/c of psychology behind it.

3. take your mind off girls. from my experience, the more you care about girls, the worse it gets, trust me i was so depressed back in the days that i felt like committing suicide. do not depend your definition of man and happiness by getting girls. you're a fvcking MAN. Men divide and conquer. Men are destroyers, defenders, even the bible says God created man to conquer. we are 100% different being than a woman, and it is natural for woman to look up to man, and right now, you're not living that role.

4. find a hobby. my hobby is working out and singing. you must find stuff to do. to a man, time is more important than a woman, and you CANNOT be wasting time.

5. approach first. yes this is probably the hardest thing i had to overcome. when i say approach first, i am NOT saying approach a random girl and ask stupid question like who lies more, men or women. no. what i mean is, if there's an empty sit in class, ask her if it's occupied, and she says no, then sit. don't say can i sit here. just sit. or if a chick is waiting for someone outside, just say whatsup. or, if you're playing pool by yourself, and see a chick sitting on a table bored, go up to her and tell her to come play with you. i got to know some fine chicks this way. remember, don't approach a girl in weird circumstances. i rarely go up to random girl and approach. approach her naturally. if you're at a parade, say whatsup to her and talk. if you're at class, ask her a study method, if you're working out, lock your eyes with a chick next to you and say watsup. remember. AS LONG AS YOU SAY WHATSUP FIRST, it is your victory.

6. Don't ask her, Tell her. like i said, if theres an empty sit, ask if it's empty, she says yes, then sit. don't ask if you can sit. when i borrow pen from a girl i don't know, i don't say "can i borrow your pen?". hell no. i tell her "hey, let me use your pen". this is big part of being a man. speak from the position of authority. when you're with a chick, please please don't ask her. never ever ask her "what you want to do" or "what should we do". what do i do? i tell her. "hey lets go eat at subway", and 8 out of 10 girls just do what you say b/c you got the MAN MENTALITY.

7. be ****y&funny, tease her, bust her. now since you're lacking a lot of self esteem, i suggest you to be ****y. but remember not to over do it. ****y&funny is NOT what you say or do, but it is a MENTALITY. preparing ****y lines in your head and BEING ****y already in your mentality is totally different. when you tease her and bust her, please don't be an azzhole b/c from my experience, being an azzhole must be an inborn, innate nature. you know why azzholes get women? b/c they exhibit traits of azzholes that attract women. if you're like me and is not an azzhole, then by all means do not be an azzhole. girls will not only hate you, but also will not help you get laid.

8. be an azzhole when you need to. what do i mean? grow some BACKBONES. if you believe that this girl is mocking you or b1tching, don't take that ****. you're a man for christ sake. when you go to mcdonald and cashier spits food in front of your food, what are you going to do? afcs just whine and complain. real man WILL FVCK HIM UP! if that happened to me, i would woop his ass and call corporate on those fvckers. less extreme case. if a girl whines you about her azzhole boy friend, i am almost sure that you will listen to her whine. thats afc. what does real man do? "hey look, i understand you're having a hard time, but i am not one of your girlfriends. so if you're going to treat me like one, than i don't want to be around you.".
Have some BACKBONES. trust me, there are times when you HAVE to act like a douchebag and azzhole in order to prove that you're a man. plus if you ARE a real man, then you don't even have to think about when to and when not to be an azzhole.

9. make her feel good about herself. what do i mean, put her on a pedestal and praise her so she feels good? hell no sir hell no. but imagine, if all you do is make fun of her and try to bust her on every conversation, you think she is going to like that? NO. there's a vast difference b/t making her feel good and putting her on pedestal. when you say "oh wow you look so hot, i would buy you drink if i met you at a bar" is total wussbag afc. but for ex, when a girl opens door for you and you say "oh wow, a beautiful lady being nice to me, i must be really good looking or you're just really kind person" is making her feel good about herself. i try to make girls feel good about herself all often, and not a single time, have i seen them rolling eyes or show "yea i know" kind of behavior. Another example, i smoke once in a while and a girl told me i am going to die soon. i told her "well not if you take care of me". what is the response? she wants to buy nurse outfit to wear it for me. what else could've i said. "true, but i enjoy being around beautiful ladies, so as long as i keep you around, i think i will be safe", girls go CRAZY if you make her feel good about herself. BUT remember, there is VAST HOLY FVCKING difference b/t being a wussbag pedestaling her and making her feel good about herself. once you be a man and find out more about your manhood and inner game, these things will come out smoothly and in a RIGHT WAY.

10. final emphasis, BE A MAN!!!!! you know difference b/t a real man and a dumbazz that just get women? a dumbazz gets girls, so hurray for him right? no. like i said, getting girls only is sad. you have to be a man. in college, i had few friends who could get girls left and right. first semester they boned like 10 or more chicks. what happened after first year? they all dropped out. they could get chicks, but they knew NOTHING of responsibility, nobility of manhood, philosophy of man, and other deep stuff. but the real Men i know not only knew how to succeed with girls, but also be responsible in dating, academics, finances, and their own lives. am i like those perfect man? not yet. but i have right frame and right mindset. if you adopt the MAN frame, YOU WILL NOT ONLY GET GIRLS, BUT ALSO BE HAPPY, AND SHOW WOMEN THAT YOU'RE NOT JUST A SEX MACHINE, BUT A MAN WITH DREAM AND PURPOSE. SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT CHICKS B/C THERE ARE MORE DEEP AND GRANDEUR THINGS THAN JUST GETTING MANY GIRLS. IF YOU BE A MAN FIRST, GIRLS WILL FOLLOW. DON'T JUST READ AND KNOW THEM, APPLY WHAT I SAID!!! THIS WAS A LONG POST AND I PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THIS IN HOPING TO GIVE RIGHT MINDSET OF MANHOOD FOR MY FELLOW BRO. THE END

 

[moneyisking]

Ok friend. you're JUST EXACTLY like i used to be.

i was so nervous around women, so so nervous, was not out going,

scared of public, crowd, really low self-esteem.

now, i am not a 100% player, but i am not very nervous around girls, can

see her in the eye, and talk to any girls if i insist by just saying watsup.

i am not going to give those bvll **** one liner advices like "be yourself" or "be confident".

let me list some things for you to do.

1. first and foremost of everything, be a MAN first. there's practically NO WAY for anyone to start gaming with your kind of mentality and inner game and achieve success. It's ALL ABOUT INNER GAME FIRST. don't worry about women for now, i guran-Fvcking-tee you if you focus on being a man first, you will get success later. problem for many ppl is that guys try to get laid w/o being a man first. unless you get extremely lucky, thats not going to happen. FOCUS ON BEING A MAN FIRST. read books on being a man, find role models, and develop manhood; i am not talking about this in gaming aspect, but in self-development aspect. i swear to god, if you're not a man, women see that. ever come across a real man? you know he's a MAN b/c you can FEEL that. no words necessary, you can FEEL he's a man; thats what you and every man need. now women are 100x more sensitive than guys, so they definitely can feel it. stop trying to score w/ chicks and learn first to be a man. go read articles about being a real man. american society does really, i mean a great fvcking job in making man into pvssies i swear. man is not someone with penis and testicles. there are great philosophies and nobility in the way of man. i am talking about philosophy and something bigger and beyond getting laid and humanity.

2. go work out. thats a must. do you have to be muscle man to attract girls? hell no. but muscle is a symbol and a psychology. it definitely helps your confidence and game, not because you have muscles, but b/c of psychology behind it.

3. take your mind off girls. from my experience, the more you care about girls, the worse it gets, trust me i was so depressed back in the days that i felt like committing suicide. do not depend your definition of man and happiness by getting girls. you're a fvcking MAN. Men divide and conquer. Men are destroyers, defenders, even the bible says God created man to conquer. we are 100% different being than a woman, and it is natural for woman to look up to man, and right now, you're not living that role.

4. find a hobby. my hobby is working out and singing. you must find stuff to do. to a man, time is more important than a woman, and you CANNOT be wasting time.

5. approach first. yes this is probably the hardest thing i had to overcome. when i say approach first, i am NOT saying approach a random girl and ask stupid question like who lies more, men or women. no. what i mean is, if there's an empty sit in class, ask her if it's occupied, and she says no, then sit. don't say can i sit here. just sit. or if a chick is waiting for someone outside, just say whatsup. or, if you're playing pool by yourself, and see a chick sitting on a table bored, go up to her and tell her to come play with you. i got to know some fine chicks this way. remember, don't approach a girl in weird circumstances. i rarely go up to random girl and approach. approach her naturally. if you're at a parade, say whatsup to her and talk. if you're at class, ask her a study method, if you're working out, lock your eyes with a chick next to you and say watsup. remember. AS LONG AS YOU SAY WHATSUP FIRST, it is your victory.

6. Don't ask her, Tell her. like i said, if theres an empty sit, ask if it's empty, she says yes, then sit. don't ask if you can sit. when i borrow pen from a girl i don't know, i don't say "can i borrow your pen?". hell no. i tell her "hey, let me use your pen". this is big part of being a man. speak from the position of authority. when you're with a chick, please please don't ask her. never ever ask her "what you want to do" or "what should we do". what do i do? i tell her. "hey lets go eat at subway", and 8 out of 10 girls just do what you say b/c you got the MAN MENTALITY.

7. be ****y&funny, tease her, bust her. now since you're lacking a lot of self esteem, i suggest you to be ****y. but remember not to over do it. ****y&funny is NOT what you say or do, but it is a MENTALITY. preparing ****y lines in your head and BEING ****y already in your mentality is totally different. when you tease her and bust her, please don't be an azzhole b/c from my experience, being an azzhole must be an inborn, innate nature. you know why azzholes get women? b/c they exhibit traits of azzholes that attract women. if you're like me and is not an azzhole, then by all means do not be an azzhole. girls will not only hate you, but also will not help you get laid.

8. be an azzhole when you need to. what do i mean? grow some BACKBONES. if you believe that this girl is mocking you or b1tching, don't take that ****. you're a man for christ sake. when you go to mcdonald and cashier spits food in front of your food, what are you going to do? afcs just whine and complain. real man WILL FVCK HIM UP! if that happened to me, i would woop his ass and call corporate on those fvckers. less extreme case. if a girl whines you about her azzhole boy friend, i am almost sure that you will listen to her whine. thats afc. what does real man do? "hey look, i understand you're having a hard time, but i am not one of your girlfriends. so if you're going to treat me like one, than i don't want to be around you.".
Have some BACKBONES. trust me, there are times when you HAVE to act like a douchebag and azzhole in order to prove that you're a man. plus if you ARE a real man, then you don't even have to think about when to and when not to be an azzhole.

9. make her feel good about herself. what do i mean, put her on a pedestal and praise her so she feels good? hell no sir hell no. but imagine, if all you do is make fun of her and try to bust her on every conversation, you think she is going to like that? NO. there's a vast difference b/t making her feel good and putting her on pedestal. when you say "oh wow you look so hot, i would buy you drink if i met you at a bar" is total wussbag afc. but for ex, when a girl opens door for you and you say "oh wow, a beautiful lady being nice to me, i must be really good looking or you're just really kind person" is making her feel good about herself. i try to make girls feel good about herself all often, and not a single time, have i seen them rolling eyes or show "yea i know" kind of behavior. Another example, i smoke once in a while and a girl told me i am going to die soon. i told her "well not if you take care of me". what is the response? she wants to buy nurse outfit to wear it for me. what else could've i said. "true, but i enjoy being around beautiful ladies, so as long as i keep you around, i think i will be safe", girls go CRAZY if you make her feel good about herself. BUT remember, there is VAST HOLY FVCKING difference b/t being a wussbag pedestaling her and making her feel good about herself. once you be a man and find out more about your manhood and inner game, these things will come out smoothly and in a RIGHT WAY.

10. final emphasis, BE A MAN!!!!! you know difference b/t a real man and a dumbazz that just get women? a dumbazz gets girls, so hurray for him right? no. like i said, getting girls only is sad. you have to be a man. in college, i had few friends who could get girls left and right. first semester they boned like 10 or more chicks. what happened after first year? they all dropped out. they could get chicks, but they knew NOTHING of responsibility, nobility of manhood, philosophy of man, and other deep stuff. but the real Men i know not only knew how to succeed with girls, but also be responsible in dating, academics, finances, and their own lives. am i like those perfect man? not yet. but i have right frame and right mindset. if you adopt the MAN frame, YOU WILL NOT ONLY GET GIRLS, BUT ALSO BE HAPPY, AND SHOW WOMEN THAT YOU'RE NOT JUST A SEX MACHINE, BUT A MAN WITH DREAM AND PURPOSE. SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT CHICKS B/C THERE ARE MORE DEEP AND GRANDEUR THINGS THAN JUST GETTING MANY GIRLS. IF YOU BE A MAN FIRST, GIRLS WILL FOLLOW. DON'T JUST READ AND KNOW THEM, APPLY WHAT I SAID!!! THIS WAS A LONG POST AND I PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THIS IN HOPING TO GIVE RIGHT MINDSET OF MANHOOD FOR MY FELLOW BRO. THE END

 

[moneyisking]

Ok friend. you're JUST EXACTLY like i used to be.

i was so nervous around women, so so nervous, was not out going,

scared of public, crowd, really low self-esteem.

now, i am not a 100% player, but i am not very nervous around girls, can

see her in the eye, and talk to any girls if i insist by just saying watsup.

i am not going to give those bvll **** one liner advices like "be yourself" or "be confident".

let me list some things for you to do.

1. first and foremost of everything, be a MAN first. there's practically NO WAY for anyone to start gaming with your kind of mentality and inner game and achieve success. It's ALL ABOUT INNER GAME FIRST. don't worry about women for now, i guran-Fvcking-tee you if you focus on being a man first, you will get success later. problem for many ppl is that guys try to get laid w/o being a man first. unless you get extremely lucky, thats not going to happen. FOCUS ON BEING A MAN FIRST. read books on being a man, find role models, and develop manhood; i am not talking about this in gaming aspect, but in self-development aspect. i swear to god, if you're not a man, women see that. ever come across a real man? you know he's a MAN b/c you can FEEL that. no words necessary, you can FEEL he's a man; thats what you and every man need. now women are 100x more sensitive than guys, so they definitely can feel it. stop trying to score w/ chicks and learn first to be a man. go read articles about being a real man. american society does really, i mean a great fvcking job in making man into pvssies i swear. man is not someone with penis and testicles. there are great philosophies and nobility in the way of man. i am talking about philosophy and something bigger and beyond getting laid and humanity.

2. go work out. thats a must. do you have to be muscle man to attract girls? hell no. but muscle is a symbol and a psychology. it definitely helps your confidence and game, not because you have muscles, but b/c of psychology behind it.

3. take your mind off girls. from my experience, the more you care about girls, the worse it gets, trust me i was so depressed back in the days that i felt like committing suicide. do not depend your definition of man and happiness by getting girls. you're a fvcking MAN. Men divide and conquer. Men are destroyers, defenders, even the bible says God created man to conquer. we are 100% different being than a woman, and it is natural for woman to look up to man, and right now, you're not living that role.

4. find a hobby. my hobby is working out and singing. you must find stuff to do. to a man, time is more important than a woman, and you CANNOT be wasting time.

5. approach first. yes this is probably the hardest thing i had to overcome. when i say approach first, i am NOT saying approach a random girl and ask stupid question like who lies more, men or women. no. what i mean is, if there's an empty sit in class, ask her if it's occupied, and she says no, then sit. don't say can i sit here. just sit. or if a chick is waiting for someone outside, just say whatsup. or, if you're playing pool by yourself, and see a chick sitting on a table bored, go up to her and tell her to come play with you. i got to know some fine chicks this way. remember, don't approach a girl in weird circumstances. i rarely go up to random girl and approach. approach her naturally. if you're at a parade, say whatsup to her and talk. if you're at class, ask her a study method, if you're working out, lock your eyes with a chick next to you and say watsup. remember. AS LONG AS YOU SAY WHATSUP FIRST, it is your victory.

6. Don't ask her, Tell her. like i said, if theres an empty sit, ask if it's empty, she says yes, then sit. don't ask if you can sit. when i borrow pen from a girl i don't know, i don't say "can i borrow your pen?". hell no. i tell her "hey, let me use your pen". this is big part of being a man. speak from the position of authority. when you're with a chick, please please don't ask her. never ever ask her "what you want to do" or "what should we do". what do i do? i tell her. "hey lets go eat at subway", and 8 out of 10 girls just do what you say b/c you got the MAN MENTALITY.

7. be ****y&funny, tease her, bust her. now since you're lacking a lot of self esteem, i suggest you to be ****y. but remember not to over do it. ****y&funny is NOT what you say or do, but it is a MENTALITY. preparing ****y lines in your head and BEING ****y already in your mentality is totally different. when you tease her and bust her, please don't be an azzhole b/c from my experience, being an azzhole must be an inborn, innate nature. you know why azzholes get women? b/c they exhibit traits of azzholes that attract women. if you're like me and is not an azzhole, then by all means do not be an azzhole. girls will not only hate you, but also will not help you get laid.

8. be an azzhole when you need to. what do i mean? grow some BACKBONES. if you believe that this girl is mocking you or b1tching, don't take that ****. you're a man for christ sake. when you go to mcdonald and cashier spits food in front of your food, what are you going to do? afcs just whine and complain. real man WILL FVCK HIM UP! if that happened to me, i would woop his ass and call corporate on those fvckers. less extreme case. if a girl whines you about her azzhole boy friend, i am almost sure that you will listen to her whine. thats afc. what does real man do? "hey look, i understand you're having a hard time, but i am not one of your girlfriends. so if you're going to treat me like one, than i don't want to be around you.".
Have some BACKBONES. trust me, there are times when you HAVE to act like a douchebag and azzhole in order to prove that you're a man. plus if you ARE a real man, then you don't even have to think about when to and when not to be an azzhole.

9. make her feel good about herself. what do i mean, put her on a pedestal and praise her so she feels good? hell no sir hell no. but imagine, if all you do is make fun of her and try to bust her on every conversation, you think she is going to like that? NO. there's a vast difference b/t making her feel good and putting her on pedestal. when you say "oh wow you look so hot, i would buy you drink if i met you at a bar" is total wussbag afc. but for ex, when a girl opens door for you and you say "oh wow, a beautiful lady being nice to me, i must be really good looking or you're just really kind person" is making her feel good about herself. i try to make girls feel good about herself all often, and not a single time, have i seen them rolling eyes or show "yea i know" kind of behavior. Another example, i smoke once in a while and a girl told me i am going to die soon. i told her "well not if you take care of me". what is the response? she wants to buy nurse outfit to wear it for me. what else could've i said. "true, but i enjoy being around beautiful ladies, so as long as i keep you around, i think i will be safe", girls go CRAZY if you make her feel good about herself. BUT remember, there is VAST HOLY FVCKING difference b/t being a wussbag pedestaling her and making her feel good about herself. once you be a man and find out more about your manhood and inner game, these things will come out smoothly and in a RIGHT WAY.

10. final emphasis, BE A MAN!!!!! you know difference b/t a real man and a dumbazz that just get women? a dumbazz gets girls, so hurray for him right? no. like i said, getting girls only is sad. you have to be a man. in college, i had few friends who could get girls left and right. first semester they boned like 10 or more chicks. what happened after first year? they all dropped out. they could get chicks, but they knew NOTHING of responsibility, nobility of manhood, philosophy of man, and other deep stuff. but the real Men i know not only knew how to succeed with girls, but also be responsible in dating, academics, finances, and their own lives. am i like those perfect man? not yet. but i have right frame and right mindset. if you adopt the MAN frame, YOU WILL NOT ONLY GET GIRLS, BUT ALSO BE HAPPY, AND SHOW WOMEN THAT YOU'RE NOT JUST A SEX MACHINE, BUT A MAN WITH DREAM AND PURPOSE. SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT CHICKS B/C THERE ARE MORE DEEP AND GRANDEUR THINGS THAN JUST GETTING MANY GIRLS. IF YOU BE A MAN FIRST, GIRLS WILL FOLLOW. DON'T JUST READ AND KNOW THEM, APPLY WHAT I SAID!!! THIS WAS A LONG POST AND I PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THIS IN HOPING TO GIVE RIGHT MINDSET OF MANHOOD FOR MY FELLOW BRO. THE END

 

[Warrior74]

Good advice from these guys. Focus on building the life you want. Explore your interest, join groups, clubs frats social groups..what ever gets you out and around people. Talk to everyone. Learn to be social first, worry about women second. Stay in the gym, get some new gear that fits in with your age group and start trying new things. Time to move out of your comfort zone. Time to expand your life and enjoy it. Good luck.

 

[entgs2]

Fvck b1tches, Make friends.

And that can be read a couple different ways.

Friends last longer, give you a more varied life, make life worth living. You just cannot have a good solid relationship with a woman or man without friends and/or close family. You will lean on your other too much. Without other influences in your life you leave yourself open to the elements...and loneliness.

Yea, this is pretty much what I was thinking I should focus on also. The loneliness is pretty bad, even worse in some ways than the lack of sex.

Thanks!

 

[entgs2]

You've a really low opinion of yourself. Low self esteem and negative thinking turn people off, men and women.


By having a low opinion of yourself you're disrespecting yourself. You're living in a sort of matrix of having a low opinion of yourself. Once you can see the matrix it'll loose its power over you. In other words you'll see that the way you think about yourself is all nonsense and not based in reality.


If I was you I'd concentrate on developing yourself before you start trying out the pick up material.


Regarding the no eye contact... it could be your body language. I'm guessing you have closed body language and might act awkward around people. Most communication is done through BL so others will notice you being awkward and that makes them feel awkward. The good news is this can be changed easily and quickly. Just make it a new habit and with better BL people will respond more positively to you.

I try to hide the negative thinking whenever possible around other people, but you're probably right: it does show in some ways.

When you say I should focus on developing myself, you mean things like working out, getting hobbies, making friends etc?

I think I have at least decent body language, at least when walking or sitting by myself (when talking to someone it's a different story entirely). Facial expressions are perhaps the killer for me.

I've even gotten random homeless guys come up to me and tell me I look "angry" or "p1ssed", or that "you look like you're hoping wherever it is you're going is on fire". Not entirely sure why I get this: I think from years of being depressed, it just shows in my face

 

[entgs2]

Caped crusader! I called it first!

Hahaha I knew someone or the other was going to say this, but it's not true. My greatest fear is that in 10 years I wind up like him.

 

[entgs2]

Thanks for the post.

oh man. so much to work on. First of all go through Real Social Dynamics and read the book of pook/bible. Are you a nice guy?

Also read this book, it opens you mind if you are a nice guy:

robert glover's no more mr. nice guy

It isn't that long but it goes through down for the reasons why you are the way you are. I just finished it and wow it sure opened my eyes. This book isnt about "picking up woman" or other PUA stuff, its about understanding why you are a nice guy and how to make urself get out of that mindset and be a MAN. Basically a self help book. You know there are programs for people who have anger problems....think of this as a person who has "TOO nice" problems.

I've read an incredible amount of posts on this and other forums. I know all the theory, the problem is in internalizing it.

For example, I know consciously that I should be confident or not supplicate or whatever, but its only an hour later that I realize: "Fvck! I supplicated".

If I keep forcing this, will this become natural eventually?

After you get all that reading and stuff done, go buy new clothes(im sure your clothes are out of style). On how to dress nice? simple: get dark shades of jeans, plain white shirts, graphic tees, some NICe polos(J. Crew), and some random shirts. Nothing too fancy..start with the basics. You are still young. Buy the details for men book and you can get a basic read on fashion for guys our age. A website that you can use that basically tells EVERYTHING a person our age needs to know about clothings is called: kinowear.com GO THERE and learn!

kinowear.com looks like a fantastic website. Thank you! I'll definitely take a look.

My clothes aren't great, but I don't think they're terrible either.

AFter you got the material and clothes down, hit the gym. Look at the threads about gym stuff in sosuave

While you do ALL of this, try to find hobbies that you like and persue them. Make new friends through existing friends, clubs, PUA lairs in your town, bars, etc.

Its going to be a long road but it will be worth it! Join clubs and town activities...even COMMUNITY SERVICE. get a job that requires you to talk to people ALL THE TIME. The point of this paragraph is to get you talking and to improve your social skills. After you get all that down, things will fall into place.

oh and my biggest mistake...DONT GO THROUGH PICK UP STUFF....YOU ARE NOT READY FOR IT...I AM NOT EITHER....work on your insecurities...your INNER GAME. pick up is garbage. Go throguh Blueprint by Real Social Dynamics and you will see why.

OK, I think a bunch of people have suggested avoiding the PU material, and just trying to make social contacts like a normal person. I'm definitely going to try to do this. As I was thinking, PU material requires some degree of basic social skills, which if I lack, I should try to develop them first.

I need to get some new hobbies. Video games (hardcore video games like Starcraft and Counterstrike) are pretty much my only hobbies.

I've already started working out, but this is at most 3-5 hrs per week. I need to find some SOCIAL hobbies...any suggestions? What are yours?

Oh, about the Blueprint, it's $600! Man, that seems like such a ripoff. Has it made a big different in your life?

 

[entgs2]

Go to meetup.com and join some groups that interest you. Go to the meetups and practice your social skills there. It's free, fun, and it's an easy and great way to start.

Meetup.com seems to cater to an older crowd: 30+. I see that you're 19. Have you used meetup succesfully?