"I'll let you know" (No I won't)

[Rocker]

I've just discovered this site and have been reading around.. some good stuff here. Did a search but couldn't find a discussion on this, so thought I'd post a thread.

Is there a way back once a girl says "I'll call you" etc.. then doesn't?

Whenever a girl has said that to me, like "I'll send you a message" or "I'll let you know", then I leave it. A lot of times they genuinely will contact you, if they like you. But for the ones that obviously aren't that fussed, they never contact you. I've never bothered contacting them, who wants to chase someone who isn't interested?

Here's a recent example, messaged a new girl to ask her out, she came up with some **** about settling into a new job and that she'll message me soon to catch up. I wrote back "Well you can let me know, and if there isn't anything on TV that night and I have no better offers, then I might hang with you." She wrote back straight away "Haha You're hilarious, we definitely have to catch up in the next few weeks".

So I've left it a couple weeks, and she hasn't contacted. It doesn't bother me, but I've always wondered if there was a way to turn it around without looking like a loser. Like a way where I'm the one who contacts her again, but still makes it seem as if I'm the one who holds all the cards. Impossible?

So as a social experiment I want to hear from people who have successfully done this.
Cheers

 

[Nighthawk]

http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall305.htm

Women sometimes test men to find out what category a man fits in. If a woman cancels on a man, and she likes him, she may tell him that she is very sorry and that she will call him and make it up to him. Then, instead of calling, she sits back and waits to see what he will do.

If he calls within three days to either set up another date or to ask why she didn't call, or if he calls at all within three days for any reason, he has failed. If he calls after three days, he has barely passed, it is up to her discretion. If he simply refuses to call until she contacts him, then he has aced the test with flying colors.

The idea is that the needy guy is insecure and needs assurance, so he calls too soon. The average guy calls after three days, he's neither here nor there. The real man doesn't call until he hears from her because he is patient, secure, has his own life, and knows that the ball is in her court.

 

[Rocker]

Thanks man, but the point of the thread isn't to read long winded theories of why they do this, whether they like the guy or not.

I was just curious if anyone has actually reversed these situations, or has an idea how to. Take it as a no from you?

 

[trajhenkhet02]

Your dealing with her perception and emotions toward you. If you don't elicit a strong response (from her mind you) in either of those catagories she is going to throw some tests your way. Not a lost cause by any means but remember you are the catch. Play it cool and be the man. Give it about a week before contacting her. Try again. If the response is still lukewarm you probably want to leave her be.

 

[Rocker]

Your dealing with her perception and emotions toward you. If you don't elicit a strong response (from her mind you) in either of those catagories she is going to throw some tests your way. Not a lost cause by any means but remember you are the catch. Play it cool and be the man. Give it about a week before contacting her. Try again. If the response is still lukewarm you probably want to leave her be.

Thanks for the "advice."

Anyone actually got anything worth saying besides the same old rehashed stuff?

 

[Latinoman]

Although, I don't agree with the "text message" thing, for argument sake, I will use your example.

You: {ask woman out}
Woman: "I am setting in a new job. I will message you in the next few weeks".
Men: "Next few weeks? Hahaha. Nahhh...I rather you focus on your job."

Then erase her from the IM (or whatever you call it).


Another example:

Woman: "I will call you."
You: "No, I rather call you. I have a very busy schedule and I tend to turn my cell phone off to avoid interruptions. "

Once again, I personally don't try those approaches because I don't waste MY time with games (and certainly NOT with cyber chat). But, from the top of my head, those could be suggestions for YOUR particular problem.

 

[Rocker]

I'm not too fussed about this situation, I was just wondering what to do if this happens in general.
Thanks for the reply, I guess it's all about switching it up at the start, by changing it from them having the power to you.
But when you don't, is there a way to get it back?
Probably not.

 

[Rondavu]

Next. Who cares about a girl that says she'll get a hold of you and then doesn't for weeks? Let it go.

 

[Rocker]

Are you getting the point here?
I do let them go if this happens, but what if there is a way to change it around and get some extra action? Maybe there are a whole bunch of chicks we all next that with a tiny bit extra work we could keep on the side.

 

[flexion_]

Don't leave it with them to call to call you. Simply switch it around to you will call them. The ending will be the same but it will prolong it - I think thats what you are asking.

 

[MacDiddy]

Anyone actually got anything worth saying besides the same old rehashed stuff?

The same ol stuff WORKS!!!

you just don't want to hear it.

 

[Socialreject]

Are you getting the point here?
I do let them go if this happens, but what if there is a way to change it around and get some extra action? Maybe there are a whole bunch of chicks we all next that with a tiny bit extra work we could keep on the side.

Yeah... keep bugging her and game her...

So what? I just don't have to waste on some high maintenance chick tbh, i got things to do, people to see, money to make, goals to accomplish.

Some of you guys are way to occupied with women in general. If they can't sell themselves at least somewhat, then they just aren't worth the trouble imho. Women aren't the only ones who "test" ;-)

 

[Rocker]

Don't think bugging is a good idea

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

I go out with this chick once in a while who seems interested, but rarely calls me. I'm always doing the initiating, not that I'm comlaining about doing it, it's just that she is very attractive and has other options.
Back to the question at hand, just call her in a couple of weeks and see what she says. You never know for sure why she's not calling you back - could be a million reasons. I never worry what I'll look like when I call this girl, I just do it. I'll make plans, and if she can't make it, she'll counter. If no counter, or if she's not making herself available for whatever reason, don't call back.