IITM's Self Improvement Journal

[I'm in the Mood]

It's time for me to make some real improvement in my life, so I'm creating a journal to track my progress and keep myself motivated. I have never had a girlfriend, I have never been on a date, and I have never had sex. Those are three things I want to have the skills for. With this journal, I want to begin to make real, long-term changes in all areas of my life that need it, and become a real man.

I will post regular updates and do the best I can to improve my self-confidence, self-esteem, social skills, and skills with women.

-IITM

What I'm Working On Right Now:
-Interacting with girls
-Holding eye contact
-Anger management
-Social skills

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Reserved

 

[Tiguere]

Age?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

2/3/11

Today I started one of my new classes. There are a lot of kids in it, both men and women. Some of the girls are very hot. I could tell the girl I sat next to was pretty hot, but over the course of the class, I didn't talk to her. To be perfectly honest, I didn't really know what to say. The only chance I would have had was at the end of the class anyway. I was intimidated by some of the guys in the class; they were talkative and having a good time. I raised my hand and talked once over the course of the class. Definitely better than nothing.

During my next class, I sat next to another girl. She looked like she had a nice body, but I wasn't able to see her face until later, because she was looking towards the front where our teacher was. This time I was able to talk to her. I left the class to use the bathroom and hung out for a good 15 minute break, so after the class I asked her what I missed while I was gone. She seemed very shy, but we had a bit of small talk and exchanged a few sentences. I wanted to continue the conversation and maybe walk out with her, but we came to a pause, and I wasn't able to lead and continue the conversation.

On to my third class. This science is my favorite class, though it isn't my favorite subject. A girl sat one chair away from me in my row during this class, and we ended up working together during our lab. She is quite unattractive, but it's not like I had a choice to not talk to her at all. I was very quiet around this girl when I spoke. I noticed that I was almost whispering with a very soft voice. This reminded me of some popular singers like Michael Jackson who are very soft spoken, but can sing with emotion and power. Now I'm not saying I can sing with emotion and power, but if someone who can, even though they have a soft voice, then what's stopping me from learning to speak loudly with good vocal quality?
This girl was actually weirding me out, and it wasn't because she was ugly. She was using self deprecating humor around me, and she seemed like she was pretty stupid, because I ended up doing most of the work. I was also starving during this class, and she bought me cookies from a vending machine. She didn't give them to me when she saw I brought trail mix to class. This really weirded me out because I got like a "mom" vibe from her, and this one was definitely not a MILF.

My last class was at night. There is a girl that I really like in this class, but I'm afraid to talk to her because a) she has a boyfriend and b) I think she doesn't like me. We had science class together last semester, and we talked a little bit over the course of the semester, but we didn't really have a friendship of any kind. One thing I need to work on is not looking at her so much. I don't know how the mind works for a man when he's looking at the body of a beautiful woman, but during class, I found myself looking at her a lot, because she was sitting at another table across from mine with her back facing me. I need to be more social in this class and less of a quiet, introverted type of person. There are some cool kids that sit at my table, and they're all international. One of them is pretty quiet, probably quieter than me, but the other I think is a really cool guy and he's very social too. This guy brought one of his girl friends to sit with us. She was smoking. Near the end of class though, I caught her looking at me. I looked up and my eyes met hers, then I looked back down at my work. I don't know why, maybe I didn't really believe that she was looking at me. I then looked back up and we met eyes, and she was still looking at me. I looked back down.

That final situation has convinced me that I need to work on making eye contact with women and holding it. I want to be able to walk down the street and look wherever the fvck I want, instead of looking at peoples clothes or looking at the ground, and looking away when people are right next to me. Social conditioning has made me an unfriendly person in many ways, and I want to become more friendly, open, and confident.

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Age?

Hey man, I'm 18 and a sophomore at community college right now.

I had my age hidden, but it's back now.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

2/6/11

I only had one notable interaction today, and it ties directly into eye contact, which I'm working on.

I entered a coffee shop, and as I walked in, I noticed a girl staring me in the eyes. I stared back for as long as I could, but I felt a bit of awkwardness and eventually broke. The good part about this was I broke my eye contact to the side, instead of looking down.

I'm not sure if this was alpha behavior. It's hard to tell because I didn't know what she was thinking, and I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking either. Alpha or not, I will get all these sub communications handled.

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

2/8/11

Today was a pretty good day. I did some more experimenting with eye contact, and I was definitely more talkative in my classes.

I am practicing making eye contact with both men and women. I find that it's slightly harder looking tough-looking men and attractive, confident women in the eyes. A few times I just got into stare-offs with people and it was pretty weird. Sometimes I broke, sometimes I didn't. I really don't like it when women are so shy and unconfident that they look away right away. I don't like this at all because it makes me feel sympathy, and maybe even pity for them. All because they can't look a man in the eyes. What if this kind of woman always looked down or away from me when we are having sex? That would not be very intimate if you ask me.

During one eye contact interaction of the day, I made a realization. I was listening to the first track of Carlos Xuma's Secrets of the Alpha Male program on my ipod, and he was talking about becoming a more dominant and powerful man that does what it takes to improve his skills with women. I saw a girl out of the corner of my eye who looked sexy, and I looked into her eyes as she walked by me, and then I looked away as she passed through my field of vision. I proceeded to write the following in my journal (note that my style of writing is a bit poetic; I am a poet so expect nothing less):

"I saw her coming, I was intimidated, maybe even a bit afraid. Afraid of the unknown. What the hell was I thinking? Being afraid of an image from out of the corner of my eye? Being afraid of a blurred, abstract, misconception of a silhouetted figure's true form? No, there's nothing to fear. Nothing at all. Only fear itself is my enemy in this type of situation. Only fear is my limiting belief, my mystic, illusive force to overcome. I looked her straight in the eyes and for a split second, I felt that sudden jolt of fear and anxiety flood through my body. Then I realized she was not a stranger. I knew this girl from a previous class, and I had already formed an opinion of her. Absolutely nothing special. Though she did not meet my gaze, nor did I care if she would later if I had held eye contact for longer, I knew that looking at this girl was a waste of my time. No, there was nothing to fear about her at all. When I broke eye contact, I let her walk directly through my field of vision without phasing me for an instant. It was as if I truly didn't care that she was there. It's just a girl, there's nothing to be afraid of. Even if I liked her, wouldn't that have made for a better situation? My indifference made me feel very powerful, yet it also felt strangely stuck up. Maybe that "stuck up" feeling is just social conditioning and it's unseen forces of limitation at work. "You bastard, how dare you ignore a woman. She controls the sex." I then realized, I meant her no wrong. I truly meant her no wrong. If she had glanced over at me, maybe I would have even smiled and said "Hey." Then again, maybe this unseen force was just a barrier my ego has put up to prevent me from changing myself. It's going to take more than emotions to knock me off my course. It was, after all, not something I'm used to - staring a woman in the eye and having complete power over her. It's not even having power over her, it's just that I never gave up my power to her. If anything, I gave her a taste of my power and didn't want to waste any more of it. Maybe I'd even like this girl if I got to know her, who knows? And what is this artificial "angry look" that strangers wear on their faces anyway?" -2/8/11

The last part of the day was probably the best!!! I overcame an instance where my profound fear of rejection was getting the better of me. I'm not socially outgoing, and that's something I want to change. I saw some kids that I knew from my math class, and I hesitated to walk up to them. I knew I wanted to, yet an extremely stubborn force of habit got in my way. I really wasn't going to walk over and join them. My attitude was "I want to study and finish my work." What a complete load of bullshvt that was. I was trying to play myself and not leave my comfort zone. The comfort zone is a lonely fortress of solitude. I then looked up once more and saw my friend from class looking at me. I nodded my head, packed up all my papers, and headed over to join him.
My friend is friends with this girl that I've encountered before. It was the girl that I caught looking at me the other day. She's from the table I sit at with all the foreign students. She's from Persia, and she is a total cutie I think I like her too, so I will eventually walk with her out of class and maybe ask for her number. She usually leaves with my friend, but that's no problem for me. I liked making fun of her English; that made her smile.

Definitely a personal victory for the day!
-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

2/10/11

Today wasn't a very good day. I found myself extremely quiet and trapped inside my head most of the time. I'm definitely going to have to add conversation skills to my goals. I did talk to girls today, but the conversations were filled with long lulls of silence, and it took me time to push myself through my anxiety to say the first words. I was also feeling down on myself at some points, which didn't help much either.

Maybe I need to start reading the DJ Bible again. I have got to get over this fvcking barrier I feel when I want to socialize. Getting over my social anxiety would be a huge breakthrough for me.

I think I'm falling behind, so it's time to kick things up a notch.

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

2/17/11

Today was alright, other than not being able to eat much all day.

During my first class I was a total pvssy. It seems like social anxiety got the better of me this time, as our teacher told us to form groups, and there were two girls sitting in front of me, and I couldn't bring myself to asking them if I could join. I really wanted to talk to them, but I guess I just didn't believe in myself. I didn't believe that I could make friends with them. I haven't had many girl friends, so that's influencing a limiting belief in myself. Maybe I can make friends with girls; I just haven't been trying enough.

The next couple classes were alright, but there's one serious problem I was having in one of my classes. We had a lab in science today, and two hot girls were in a group together. I ended up looking at booty from time to time throughout the whole lab. They were nice, but I can't help feeling that I could have found a better use for my time. I can't help but realize that I really want to fvck these girls, but I hesitate to take the necessary steps involved. Maybe I don't really know what I'm doing. I should find out what I need to know so that I can do what I need to do. What's the point of these girls having nice asses if all I do is look at them, nothing more?

During my break a woman actually approached me. A buddy and I were sitting down at a table and I noticed he kept looking up as people walked by. At one point I looked up to see who was there and this girl gave me a smile. I smiled back, though it felt a bit like an awkward smile. She then walked to our table and started making small talk. It turned out that she was 28 years old and had two kids. She looked way younger though, but looking back on it, her tone and manner seemed to be like she was trying to qualify herself to me and my friend. As much as I love MILFs, I didn't find myself very attracted to her, but it was a nice moment in my day, and I'm glad she stopped to chat briefly. Afterwards I was like "dude do you know her...?" Lol.

Well that's all for today. Later.

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

2/24/11

Today was a great day. I felt good today. Confident, social.

It was definitely one of the more talkative days I've had in awhile. I spoke up in class in all of my classes. I fearlessly made eye contact with some girls that were talking in one of my classes. They both later tried to make a little small talk with me. Nothing big, but it was strange because I feel like I was obligated to be the one to start conversations with girls. Who knew that girls will just start talking to you!

The next step for me is to work on maintaining conversations, while I keep control of my own status. This means not trying to impress, not trying to give approval in return for approval, not being quiet, but instead speaking my mind and connecting with people, and adding a little excitement/vibe into the conversation to keep both of us interested, and having a good time.

I continue to work on eye contact, and I actually had a strange situation occur today. I was walking down the hallway and there was a guy leaning against the wall looking towards me. I looked at him, then again because he looked kind of familiar. He was pretty much staring at me as I walked closer. Once I got near him, I broke eye contact to the side. As I think back on it, he seemed like kind of a creep. A waste of time to look at. Somehow I feel that I should have stared him down, because I want to learn how to be incredibly dominant and totally hold my own. It occurred to me that maybe he was a gay guy and he was attracted to me. Lol, not interested dude...there's only one **** for me, and that's my own.

An end to a great day. I want to make it even better next time. I will continue to improve myself, and I will become a more social person. I know that the girls, the friends, and the good friends will come in due time.

-IITM

 

[Fuglydude]

What about gym, grades, career? Its a lot easier to attract women when they wanna sleep with you simply because of how you're built. You'll only need very basic game at that stage as your looks/physique will do the work for you.

You're young at 18 years old (my lil bro's age actually), and your natural testosterone levels should be through the roof... use it, train hard, diet smart and get jacked. I promise it makes a huge difference.

I'm not knocking what you're doing here w/ practicing social interactions. If anything its actually quite laudable that you're taking a systematic approach to this. My point is that you should allocate more effort to actual real self improvement and not learning game. Work on your body, your grades, etc... The hard work you put into these things now will pay massive dividends during your 20s.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

What about gym, grades, career? Its a lot easier to attract women when they wanna sleep with you simply because of how you're built. You'll only need very basic game at that stage as your looks/physique will do the work for you.

You're young at 18 years old (my lil bro's age actually), and your natural testosterone levels should be through the roof... use it, train hard, diet smart and get jacked. I promise it makes a huge difference.

I'm not knocking what you're doing here w/ practicing social interactions. If anything its actually quite laudable that you're taking a systematic approach to this. My point is that you should allocate more effort to actual real self improvement and not learning game. Work on your body, your grades, etc... The hard work you put into these things now will pay massive dividends during your 20s.

Thanks man!

My grades are looking pretty good right now, and I'm doing my best to get them up. I have around a 2.8 something, but I'm transferring to another school next year, and I only need a 3.0 to transfer, so I will be making that improvement for sure. At this other school, they have a very nice gym, and I was waiting to be able to use that. I guess that's like procrastinating my fitness though. I am very weak, I have gained some bodyfat, but my legs are pretty toned, strangely. What I can do now is pushups, situps and cardio. Once I transfer, I will get pretty damn serious about fitness.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

3/1/11

I was very quiet today. Nothing really eventful happened. It was OK.

In my last class there's a girl I really like that was sitting at my table. She's so great! But something inside me has been stopping me from making friends with her, I don't know what's going on with that. Maybe I feel like I don't deserve her or something.

She has very nice legs, I snuck peeks throughout the class, lol.

I realize that hiding my feelings won't work. When you don't believe in yourself it can be hard to express yourself though.

Today I found out that, in addition to my social anxiety, I have depression. But believe it or not, that's great news. It's great news, because I'm going to do whatever I have to, to eliminate it once and for all.

-IITM

 

[macallik]

good mindset!

 

[I'm in the Mood]

3/8/11

Forgot to post yesterday, but here's a recap of my day.

I felt good ever since I woke up in the morning. The very first thing I did when I rolled out of bed was 12 pushups. It's not a lot, but it's a first for me in a lonnng time.

I was not feeling very insecure or anxious for most of the day. I got real fvcking pissed at one of my teachers. He always talks down to me. Next time he does it I will let him know I won't take this sh!t from him. I will not threaten or curse at him though, because I like him as a teacher. He's really good at what he does.

I didn't really talk to girls today, but I felt like I didn't have to look away when making eye contact with people. I had a test at around lunch time, and I think I did pretty well on it, though I had to hurry to finish it.

I started listening to Carlos Xuma's Alpha Man program on my iPod. I took some really good notes on it, but I completely forgot that I did that yesterday until now. This will help get the right mindsets into my subconscious mind, and I will change. I will definitely change my ways.

The Persian girl that I used to like came and sat down at my table. It's hard to talk to her because we can't understand each other half of the time. I talk too quietly sometimes, and she almost always talks too quietly. I tried making conversation with her, because I wanted to have a conversation instead of sitting alone. It didn't go on for very long, and I ended up telling her "man, you need to get a hearing aid!" She replied, "What did you say?" I thought that was pretty cute

At the very end of the day, after my last class was over, I had a really nice conversation with this dude that I'm friendly with in my class. That really made my day and I was totally happy about it.

Looking forward to spring break!!

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

3/24/11

Well it has been a while since my last post! I had a sh!tty spring break and barely did anything but sit at home, surf the web, watch TV, and play computer games. Not exactly the "alpha lifestyle" I want, but change is inevitable because I will keep on keeping on.

I've had a lot of work going on lately, and I can barely remember Tuesday, but my mind is fresh from today despite the late hour and my sleep deficit from only getting 4 hours of sleep last night.

On Tuesday, one thing I remember was that on a couple occasions I ended up looking girls straight in the eyes and locking my gaze. It felt scary! Scary, but incredibly powerful. I got a rush of adrenaline just from looking someone in the eye! I don't know if I could look a man in the eyes though. I don't have much interest in looking around rooms for men to do eye contact battle with.

So today. I fvcked up and went to bed really late, only managing to get 4 hours of sleep. When I woke up in the morning, I ate a huge, delicious breakfast of a packet of oatmeal in milk with blueberries on top, three servings of egg whites, and a cup and a mug of coffee.

I had two tests today, and a field trip as well. I was expecting it to be tough, and it was. I had my first test during my first class, and it went amazingly well! I'm definitely expecting an A on this one! For some reason this is the class that I am the shyest in, but I just realized that maybe I feel like I'm the shyest because there are a lot more people that talk in that class, excluding me. At the end of class when I turned in my test and my paper to the teacher, I nodded and smiled, which was one of the first times that I had interacted with this teacher. I felt very proud about that!

I walked out of class and decided to go for a walk outside. There was a man campaigning for student senate that stopped me to ask me to vote for him. He explained that the school had raised it's fees per credit, and he would make sure to get rid of those fees to make college more affordable. I thought to myself, this college is a fvcking good deal, I don't mind paying an extra $8.50 per credit! The college needs more money in order to expand anyway. I pretty much kept my opinion to myself, and decided I would not vote altogether. While I was on my walk, I eventually changed my mind. It is a right and a responsibility of mine to participate in my college's government. I thought of President Barack Obama, and what he would do in my shoes. Why, vote of course! I knew all I needed to know about this guy. He was an actively campaigning man with a real interest in solving the potential hardships of students.

I went to the voting table and got a ballot from a nice looking Spanish lady named Catalina. She told me that her name was Spanish for Caroline. This was the first time I had gone out of my way too meet somebody in a long time!!

I proceeded to my next class, which I had a paper due in but I hadn't done the interview I needed to write it. I ended up listening in and discussing other student's projects. There was one girl sitting right across from me who was really cute and had very pretty eyes. Another guy in our group and her were doing a little friendly flirting. It reminded me of the days when I flirted more. Instead of flirting, I asked her a couple of questions about her project in our discussion group. I could not take my eyes off her, and I got a slight feeling that she felt I was staring at her. Probably just my own insecurities! She looked very shy, though.

Next, I went to a short class before a field trip. I was pretty quiet during this part of the day, and I only talked a bit to the two girls I carpooled with to our destination. I was starting to feel very tired from my lack of sleep, but I had a great experience on this field trip, even though it wasn't as fun or as social as it could have been.

When I got back, I met up with a friend and we went to study for our test in our night class. I pretty much kept to myself and reviewed/wrote my notes, but I made some small talk at points. When I went into the hallway, I saw the girl that I adore from this class, and said hi and smiled to her. I feel that she doesn't like me, but maybe this is just my insecurities and self-doubts again. One problem I was having was I can not for the love of God stop looking at her. I adore her body. It is average but pretty as hell. During our test I sat diagonally behind her and I could not stop looking at her. When I got up to sharpen my pencil, all I thought about was looking down her shirt because she was wearing a lowish-cut top and her tits were bulging out of it. I was definitely beginning to lose it. Maybe it was the combination of two hours of studying for math, a whole day behind me with 4 hours of sleep, taking a test, and just plain being a sex-crazed virgin, but whatever it was, it lets me know that I am a man. Maybe not a socially acceptable man, but a man none the less.

I finished this final test with precision, took as much time as I needed to, and I think I may very well have aced this one too! After I got out of class, I had a nice talk with a friend over the phone that lasted for awhile. I felt like I had decent social skills for once in a long time.

This is definitely the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I will set out to continue my self-improvement, and to taming my desires, then pursuing them to win.

Now, it's time for some well deserved rest. Night guys!

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

3/29/11

I had a bad day today, and ended up going home early.

I'm a slacking piece of shyt and I don't do anything. I don't do my homework, I don't exercise, and I don't go out enough.

I'm getting pretty pissed off at myself and I want to find something to fvcking do about it.

At some parts of my day, I was less shy and socially inhibited. I'm beginning to develop somewhat of a "fvck everything" attitude. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad. I'll just have to find out where I can take myself.

I need to start a PU program. I'm thinking of Carlos Xuma's book, since I've started it so many times, but I'll have to stick to it and not fvcking procrastinate like I'm doing with my entire life.

This is no life, I have no life right now. It's time for me to go out and get one.

That's all for today.

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

3/31/11

Today I had a great day!

The funny thing about today, although it was great overall, it definitely had its ups and downs as well. It started off excellent since the moment I woke up in the morning. I ate a huge breakfast, and I was feeling good. When I arrived at school, I had some time to spare before my first class, so I sat at a table in the hallway with my notebook. I saw some girls and a guy at the table next to mine and I suddenly became very self conscious. This lasted a good 20 minutes, and it wasn't a very good feeling. When I got up and went into my first class, I found out that class was cancelled! I was surprised, as the teacher never even emailed any of us. Apparently somebody got a call or a text from our teacher saying that class was cancelled. This gave me some time for homework, so I headed to the library to kill some time. I didn't talk at first, but as I was getting up to go, I noticed someone from my class and started to chat with him. I stayed awhile, and finished the rest of my work, and then I left to go to my next class.

My next class started out very well also, and I immediately began a conversation with someone when I got there. I talked a lot more than usual during this class, and I was sitting at a table with a girl that I'm attracted to. She's shy as hell and I pretty much didn't pay any attention to her, because she was so quiet. Man, she was even quieter than me this time, and I have social anxiety disorder! During part of the class, we were having a discussion, and it was going by so quickly that I just couldn't jump in. I was completely stuck inside my head with no escape, and I was really slow and hesitant, and couldn't join in and contribute to the discussion. I overcame this with some time, and I made some great contributions to the discussion. I also noticed that after I spoke, the girl in my group spoke too! Maybe she has some anxiety too...I wonder...

In my next class we had a field trip, and it was fantastic! I unfortunately went back inside my head for the whole time, until the end of the field trip, but at the end I made some small talk with a few people including my teacher. We visited a sewage treatment plant, and it was one of the most intriguing and mysterious experiences I've ever had. I actually had a lot of fun learning about how the plant operated, and discussing environmental issues around it. You can probably guess that I'm in a science class.

By my final class, I was exhausted, and I started to get very fidgety, but I made the most of it. In a surprise ending to the class, I received my test back from last week, and I got an A on it. Life is pretty damn good!

At one point in the day, I continued listening to the Carlos Xuma program that I had started. I've been taking notes, and one of the things I learned from today was that men carry around lots of anger. There's always something in the world that we're slightly pissed off about. He says that we can learn to control our anger though, and channel it into positive, productive, action-taking forces to help us better our lives.

At the end of the day I drove home, and that was that.

Maybe I'm making more progress than I give myself credit for!

-IITM

 

[I'm in the Mood]

4/22/11

Well it's been about a month since I last wrote in my journal here. April has been a fvcking tough time for me and I have been battling depression, stress, anxiety, and anger every single day...

I would be thrilled to get over all the suffering, but I guess I'll have to earn it my own way.

Yesterday I had a very long day, and I managed to be a little bit social during the late afternoon. Most of the day sucked balls because I had 3 tests and I was not prepared for everything. At some points I was so nervous and agitated that I couldn't look up and I just stared down so I didn't have to look anyone in the eyes. I remember there was one situation where a girl wanted one of my pencils and I actually gave it to her. I didn't want to. Big deal though, I should fvcking get over it, or next time just not give it to her.

During the later afternoon I talked a little to a girl that I really like. I also was talking to a few cool guys, and I felt so relieved that I was able to get outside of my head. I continue to look but not speak at many girls. I stare at them because I really like what I see. It's time that I took this to the next level and acknowledged them.

On Tuesday I found myself staring straight into the eyes of a girl that I have a huge crush on. I could do nothing but break eye contact. I broke it upward, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I still wish I could go back to that moment and make her smile. Yes, I want to be doing a lot of smiling and making people smile in the future...

-IITM

 

[kentgraham10]

Hey man keep at it! Last semester I really didn't talk to anyone in my classes and never really added to any conversations. This semester I decided to change all that. Now I seem to talk to more people in all the classes and this actually helps the day go by better when you can just have fun chatting with people between classes.

I went to a community college as well, and if they have a gym or fitness center, I'd say go for it man. Not only does it get you into better shape, but opens up options for you socially as well. At the gym you can start getting to know some of those tough alpha males that you are intimidated by. If you keep it up in the gym, soon YOU will be one of those alpha males and it just makes things so much easier. Plus, if the gym at your community college is anything like mine, the atmosphere is really awesome. People WANT you to succeed there, and at worst you will be left alone and respected while you do your thing.

I can't stress enough how important getting physically fit is. Not that being of normal physique will really hurt you, but it puts a zero on your resume where you could be getting an easy point or two and really just helps your social situation. Very rarely am I intimidated by anyone in social situations, and this comfort seems to correlate directly with me getting into better shape. Make the choice today, get to the gym, be willing to stick it out, and go for it!