Ignore a cold girlfriend?

[Dradventure]

I have been on my mission, busy with work, hitting the gym, and getting in better shape, focusing on friends and hobbies. However, my girl and I have been seeing each other for a few years now, and she has a son that loves me. However, my girl has been distant and less engaging. When we try to spend time together, she never wants to do anything like she used to. She often cuts our time short and cancels our plans together at the last minute. She used to call me often, which also seemed to have dissipated.

She has not wanted to have sex lately. She says it’s because she has not felt comfortable with her body. I recently lost some weight and got into better shape; I am unsure if that bothered her. She did gain a lot of weight recently, but instead of being a **** about it, I told her we could start to work out together, and I would help support her in getting back in shape.

Yesterday she canceled on me again very last minute with a list of excuses and mentioned not feeling comfortable with her body. I did not say much to her. I am feeling fed up with her, and I never answered her texts and phone calls. Should I just continue to ignore her? Should I just walk away? I have another hotter woman that keeps asking me out, and I feel like I should just move on if she continues to behave this way. I care about her and her son, and I am close, which makes it difficult.

 

[Billtx49]

She’s getting distant, cutting interactions short, and doesn’t want sex anymore. That’s the definition of your future dump…
Call it monkey branching or hypergamy, but it sounds like she’s in the process of moving on and you didn’t get her memo yet…

It then becomes a tennis game if she cuts back like that, you do the same, then wait to see her reaction to judge her desire if it still exists…
Look at her actions.

 

[Stuffnu]

Sounds like she’s going through depression or premenopausal (if she’s in her 40’s)..
Not much you can do but be supportive if she’s worth it.
In the meantime, green light on that hottie. Men have needs so fulfill them….

 

[Dradventure]

She’s getting distant, cutting interactions short, and doesn’t want sex anymore. That’s the definition of your future dump…
Call it monkey branching or hypergamy, but it sounds like she’s in the process of moving on and you didn’t get her memo yet…
It becomes a tennis game if she cuts back like that, you do the same, then wait to see her reaction to judge her desire if it still exists…
Look at her actions.

Should I even respond to her last text and call or just keep silent?

 

[Dradventure]

Sounds like she’s going through depression or premenopausal (if she’s in her 40’s)..
Not much you can do but be supportive if she’s worth it.
In the meantime, green light on that hottie. Men have needs so fulfill them….

She’s 35. Yes I wonder about her mental health. The hottie is a little nurse so she be fun!

 

[corrector]

If its in this break up territory then you should meet her over coffee and have a serious talk with her rather than pvsufooting around and playing games. See where this is really going.

 

[Billtx49]

Should I even respond to her last text and call or just keep silent?

An adequate response should be short and one you would reply with if you were busy doing other things.
Spend more time now with the other woman.

 

[Young OG]

I have been on my mission, busy with work, hitting the gym, and getting in better shape, focusing on friends and hobbies. However, my girl and I have been seeing each other for a few years now, and she has a son that loves me. However, my girl has been distant and less engaging. When we try to spend time together, she never wants to do anything like she used to. She often cuts our time short and cancels our plans together at the last minute. She used to call me often, which also seemed to have dissipated.

She has not wanted to have sex lately. She says it’s because she has not felt comfortable with her body. I recently lost some weight and got into better shape; I am unsure if that bothered her. She did gain a lot of weight recently, but instead of being a **** about it, I told her we could start to work out together, and I would help support her in getting back in shape.

Yesterday she canceled on me again very last minute with a list of excuses and mentioned not feeling comfortable with her body. I did not say much to her. I am feeling fed up with her, and I never answered her texts and phone calls. Should I just continue to ignore her? Should I just walk away? I have another hotter woman that keeps asking me out, and I feel like I should just move on if she continues to behave this way. I care about her and her son, and I am close, which makes it difficult.

It sounds like the relationship is over. She’s moving on but hasn’t told you yet. She already checked out. Either she found a new guy or is going to hop back on the cVck carousel. I would dump her now before she dumps you. I’m sure that sounds easier said then done but you need to man up and walk away.

 

[sevbucmash]

Look @ it this way. She has a kid and she needs something serious for her future. She's gone. Get a clue.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I fortunately brither sounds like it’s time to grab your nuts, tell her that you’re not happy and that if things do not change you’re leaving her.

Just like that. It’ll probably turn into a fight and you’ll just get up and walk away.

I would not cheat, just for your own soul.

 

[Dradventure]

She is planning on dumping you or she is depressed, or both

She does have some issues with anxiety, which I feel is true for every woman nowadays. In retrospect, she has been sweet in some ways. I was sick last week, and she made me food, bought me groceries, etc.

 

[Zimbabwe]

If its in this break up territory then you should meet her over coffee and have a serious talk with her rather than pvsufooting around and playing games. See where this is really going.

These days girls would rather just slowly ghost their bf instead of meeting then for the "talk".

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I know you have an investment in her but nothings going to change unless you don’t do something.

She does have some issues with anxiety, which I feel is true for every woman nowadays. In retrospect, she has been sweet in some ways. I was sick last week, and she made me food, bought me groceries, etc.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She is likely seeing someone else but isn't sure about him yet and is keeping you around until she is but physically and emotionally disengaging from you.

Pretty much she has already dumped you mentally, she just hasn't don't it physically or told you about it yet.

You need to sit down and have a talk with her and be straight up and ask her if this is her way of letting you know she wants to be done. No emotions, no being upset, just matter of fact.

Her reaction more than her answer will tell you what you need to know. If she denies it but stays totally calm or acts weird you can pretty much be sure she is lying or telling you what you want to hear. If she is upset and emotional then you can lean towards it maybe being something else, but in my experience it never really is something else.

 

[dude99]

Focus on yourself first. She is pulling away and not communicating with you and that is her fault not yours.

Do your thing and be busy with you. Right now she isn't reaching out because she doesn't have to. You are still trying. Pull away and when she reaches out to see what is going on hit her with this. Put it all on her. Do not sugar coat things Do not tread lightly because she won't make a change if you do.

"I can see by your actions that you're not into us anymore and this doesn't work for me. I am going to start seeing other people.:

Her reaction will tell you everything youn need to to know. If she is "ok" then you known she is starting the branch swing herself. I'd she makes effort to salvage things this is her chance to fix things.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Focus on yourself first. She is pulling away and not communicating with you and that is her fault not yours.

Do your thing and be busy with you. Right now she isn't reaching out because she doesn't have to. You are still trying. Pull away and when she reaches out to see what is going on hit her with this. Put it all on her. Do not sugar coat things Do not tread lightly because she won't make a change if you do.

"I can see by your actions that you're not into us anymore and this doesn't work for me. I am going to start seeing other people.:

Her reaction will tell you everything youn need to to know. If she is "ok" then you known she is starting the branch swing herself. I'd she makes effort to salvage things this is her chance to fix things.

This is basically him being dumped for someone else but he just doesn't know it yet.

 

[member160761]

My friend, you are dating a single mom who is getting out of shape while you supersede her. She believes you are going to dump her and she is preparing for the inevitable or she is already cheating on you. You gotta understand there is a kid involved and she wants you as future father of her child. She feels you are jeopardizing her security and pulls out slowly. You have to reassure her you stay with her, encourage her to work out and put a ring on her finger or save her and your time and pull out. She already makes it easy for you.

 

[dude99]

This is basically him being dumped for someone else but he just doesn't know it yet.

Agreed. This is why guys should always be willing to just walk away.

 

[Dradventure]

My friend, you are dating a single mom who is getting out of shape while you supersede her. She believes you are going to dump her and she is preparing for the inevitable or she is already cheating on you. You gotta understand there is a kid involved and she wants you as future father of her child. She feels you are jeopardizing her security and pulls out slowly. You have to reassure her you stay with her, encourage her to work out and put a ring on her finger or save her and your time and pull out. She already makes it easy for you.

You make a good point and this may be true. She has taken some actions that shows she is invested in things with me. Her 7 year old son told her the other day that he wanted me to be his stepdad. I have been good to her and her son. The kid loves me. I have wondered if its more of a “comfort test” but its hard to tell.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I might come off as a brutal motherless son of a gun but I could never see another man's spawn as my own. I would interact with the kid but not take care of him.
If I was you I would have hit the road since yesterday. By her not being real with you she is already disrespecting you.

The other day I told this girl
"Im shakin everything that's uncertain, even if it hurts I gotta get to to the bigger picture baby"

Women come and go but some stay for a little while until it hits the rocks. Its the circle of life in our jungle. Bag up the hot nurse and keep working out my man. You will need it since a break up can still be a sting on a hardened and stoic heart.