DonJuanabe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2012
- Messages
- 592
- Reaction score
- 22
Curious how you guys, especially you Master DJs, would handle the following situation: Things have been going well for a couple weeks with a girl you've started dating. But she starts acting different, say less affectionate, more erratic, and you have a feeling something is going on but you're not sure. Usually this kind of behavior means there is someone else in the background. 9 times out of 10, right?
1) Would you bring up this possibility or just ignore it?
2) Let's say that through conversation you steer her along and she mentions she met a guy at whatever (class, work, activity, etc.) but he's just a friend and that's it.
Problem is, her behavior isn't what you'd expect. You don't want to appear needy or weak, but at the same time you don't want to get strung along.
I was in this situation not too long ago and I got that feeling in my gut, so I approached it by saying "We just started dating so we're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet; if you want to see other people go ahead, I don't control you." She responded by saying she wants to date me, there isn't anyone else, though she did meet a guy who is just a friend they are not anything more than that (my BS indicator went into the red). I thought my attitude of indifference would make her chase me and punt the "friend" but in the end she pulled back, we stopped seeing each other, and the "friend" has been her boyfriend for three months.
I guess, in other words, when your gut is telling you something, do you just go along like you're not bothered or should you be assertive?
1) Would you bring up this possibility or just ignore it?
2) Let's say that through conversation you steer her along and she mentions she met a guy at whatever (class, work, activity, etc.) but he's just a friend and that's it.
Problem is, her behavior isn't what you'd expect. You don't want to appear needy or weak, but at the same time you don't want to get strung along.
I was in this situation not too long ago and I got that feeling in my gut, so I approached it by saying "We just started dating so we're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet; if you want to see other people go ahead, I don't control you." She responded by saying she wants to date me, there isn't anyone else, though she did meet a guy who is just a friend they are not anything more than that (my BS indicator went into the red). I thought my attitude of indifference would make her chase me and punt the "friend" but in the end she pulled back, we stopped seeing each other, and the "friend" has been her boyfriend for three months.
I guess, in other words, when your gut is telling you something, do you just go along like you're not bothered or should you be assertive?