If you were to narrow it down to one thing, what has given you the most progress?

[Masculinity]

I'm curious to know what has been the most significant progress you have made since you started getting involved with the DJ community. I'm thinking many of us are going to present different things and some are going to be lacking in some areas and excelling in others.

If we combine our progress and what we have done to get there, we can all become a little better DJ's while literally helping out fellow DJ's. What has done the most for you? Be specific so that others who have no experience can learn from your response!

 

[Vice]

Actually going out in the arena is the biggest thing, gaining experience instead of just sitting around reading all the time. That combined with posting field reports in my journal and having people comment on the mistakes and successes I make accelerates the learning process.

 

[Drdeee]

Understanding what lack of masterbation and masturbation does to my brain.

 

[PapiChulo]

Making mistakes, and a lot of them! Other than that would be gaining 20lbs of muscle, but I did that before coming on here and ever learning about the DJ way.

 

[ne0phyte]

actually doing something. reading all this dj stuff provided a nice background/foundation of where to start, what type of mindset you should have, etc. but if you don't actually go talk to girls, find out what style works for you, and MAKE MISTAKES (probably the best and painful way to ingrain what you learn), then all this is just mental masturbation.

 

[scribblec]

well as you can see i have been here quite a long time and in thoery i pretty much know everything....

what this site doesnt teach you is how to calibrate everything you know, when i first started i was obsessed with the whole dj mindset where i would be too ****y or too arrogant which works wonders initially but anything more then one date and its overkill.

i didnt understand this before but being nice isnt as bad as its made out to be i used to confuse supplicating with being nice which isnt the case you can still be an alpha male who isnt an ******* all the time

its all about 2 steps forward one step back, but the most important thing that has improved me is actual infield practise, i even got a job where im constantly talking to sexy girls all day (got a few lays aswell ) and i must say everything else has just fallen into place

 

[backbreaker]

sub 10% body fat while still keeping a lot of muscle


single most important thing i ever did as far as the opposite sex

 

[Iceberg]

Losing the "scarcity mentality".

Once you understand that every girl is replaceable, you'll never be in the passenger seat again.

"Oh, you're giving me mixed signals? See ya later."

"Your schedule is too busy to hang out this week? Cool. Catch you some other time."

90% of guys' issues on this site are caused by some kind of oneitis situation. Once you see that there is no "one", then you'll stop wondering about why she didnt call, what her mixed signals mean, etc, etc.

Of course, losing the scarcity mentality is a byproduct of being in shape, being confident, and having an active life.

 

[ecko280]

being honest with the girls with what i want with them.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Losing the "scarcity mentality".

Once you understand that every girl is replaceable, you'll never be in the passenger seat again.

"Oh, you're giving me mixed signals? See ya later."

"Your schedule is too busy to hang out this week? Cool. Catch you some other time."

90% of guys' issues on this site are caused by some kind of oneitis situation. Once you see that there is no "one", then you'll stop wondering about why she didnt call, what her mixed signals mean, etc, etc.

Of course, losing the scarcity mentality is a byproduct of being in shape, being confident, and having an active life.

This. So many of my male friends subscribe to the "one woman at a time" view of dating, which is to say that they focus their efforts on sleeping with one particular girl at the expense of all others. This is often the case even if the other girls are better looking and more feminine- I know it was for me in my oneitis days. Knowing that you have options and that you can walk at any stage in the process, from the first date to 20 years down the line, is an incredibly empowering realisation.

 

[Warrior74]

Not caring at all. Women are just for fun, when I adopted that mentality I started having more fun and more women. Lately I've lost it as I've been working 12-15 hour days on my business, but it's coming back.

 

[Desdinova]

Kino, hands down. It catapulted me from getting nothing to getting dates. Damn near every time I use it, I get the girl. The current one I dated dumped the guy she was seeing for me. I kino'ed her from day one.

 

[yuppaz]

1. Not caring too much about what I think she thinks
2. Liking who I am and doing what I actually want to do (which helped with #1 a lot
3. Pre-supposing that she's into me
4. Pushing the envelope constantly to find where the actual boundaries are...and there are very few boundaries I'm finding in a lot of cases
5. Paying special attention to connecting with the girl without an outcome in mind vs. trying to make an impression
6. Realizing that my insecurities actually were the problem and not the reality of things
7. Getting f*ckin horney with her, imagining boning the girl I'm talking to
8. Feeling entitled to have whatever I want, that I deserve it
9. That opening a conversation doesn't need to be fancy, it can be (and has been for me) REALLY stupid and still work fine...as long as you like yourself enough to talk about whatever you want to, and listen to her responses.
10. That after opening, you really can just talk about whatever and she will get turned on (if your imagining yourself f*cking her silly)
11. Closing / moving things forward / being dominant. Taking the lead in the relationship, tell her "Let's go check this thing out" and have her follow you, do it enough and she will just go with the flow.
12. Figuring out & understanding my ego better and how to minimize my use of it. Have found that most of the guys I know that wanna get better with women have LSE AND big ego's about who they think they are and do ANYTHING to protect them (not talking to a girl to avoid rejection to keep their identity from being bruised if she isn't interested).
13. Learn 2 GOOD concepts and apply them for a week before reading any more pickup sh*t. HUGE info overload on the internetssssss


peace

 

[oneboy21]

It would be good if the mods made this thread Sticky.
I would like to add one more thing to this thread if they make it sticky

To the guys who were shy/beginners, how do you guys turned your self from AFC to a PUA

 

[vatoloco]

The 12" dick I grew from those pills I got on the internet.

 

[OC Speedball]

Kino escalation.

 

[Cottonsuave]

1. Not caring too much about what I think she thinks
2. Liking who I am and doing what I actually want to do (which helped with #1 a lot
3. Pre-supposing that she's into me
4. Pushing the envelope constantly to find where the actual boundaries are...and there are very few boundaries I'm finding in a lot of cases
5. Paying special attention to connecting with the girl without an outcome in mind vs. trying to make an impression
6. Realizing that my insecurities actually were the problem and not the reality of things
7. Getting f*ckin horney with her, imagining boning the girl I'm talking to
8. Feeling entitled to have whatever I want, that I deserve it
9. That opening a conversation doesn't need to be fancy, it can be (and has been for me) REALLY stupid and still work fine...as long as you like yourself enough to talk about whatever you want to, and listen to her responses.
10. That after opening, you really can just talk about whatever and she will get turned on (if your imagining yourself f*cking her silly)
11. Closing / moving things forward / being dominant. Taking the lead in the relationship, tell her "Let's go check this thing out" and have her follow you, do it enough and she will just go with the flow.
12. Figuring out & understanding my ego better and how to minimize my use of it. Have found that most of the guys I know that wanna get better with women have LSE AND big ego's about who they think they are and do ANYTHING to protect them (not talking to a girl to avoid rejection to keep their identity from being bruised if she isn't interested).
13. Learn 2 GOOD concepts and apply them for a week before reading any more pickup sh*t. HUGE info overload on the internetssssss


peace

THIS!!! You put into words what I couldn't even put into thoughts. Thank you

 

[Mike32ct]

You just have to get out there and try. My biggest scores were actually from cold approaches where I didn't get ANY eye contact. Sometimes you just have to roll the dice. You aren't a mind reader. You don't KNOW what she thinks of you. Start talking to her and see how it goes.

Looks and appearance are key. A cool shirt, pants, shoes, and a sexy haircut are huge. I have a lot more work to do at the gym, but just improving my style has helped a lot. Even changing my choice of shirt has meant the difference between an occasional score vs. a year of no action.

 

[typical]

One thing I learned early on since being a lurker on this site when I was 15 it was

"Only I control my life and what happens"

Everything else is just filler or buffer or adds on to the huge concept that is the above quote.

A simple version of the above quote is the Nike line "Just do it". No matter what happens just go and do it you will learn so much more from trying and failing then not trying at all.

 

[yuppaz]

You're welcome bro - &

1 more important thing: learn to speak emotions vs. logic

and ......one more:

Learn to read and understand sub-communication (what is really being said vs. what is being said on the surface)