"If you want to get rid of a girl, act AFC."

[squirrels]

I think those of us who have been here long enough have learned to spot certain pieces of advice that, when someone offers them, it flags them as a Keyboard Jockey, someone who's read a lot of stuff on the forums and pieces of the "DJ Bible" and thinks he's a master of the female psyche. One such piece of mis-advice is:

"If you want to get rid of a girl, act 'AFC'. She'll be driven away from you."

This is BULLS#!T. Acting "AFC"

1) Takes too much time and effort. You may think from reading all the material on this forum that because making a chumpish first-impression on a girl will turn her off from you that switching from manly to boyish, needy behavior mid-relationship will instantly repel a woman. This is BS. If you've already got a girl head-over-heels for you to the point where she's chasing you around, wondering "where you've been", trying to spend every waking minute with you, she will LOVE when you switch all lovey-dovey on her and start spending all your time with her. At least at first. It will take a decent amount of time for her to get "fed up" with your change in behavior. Sure, it will work, but by the time she starts backing off, you've already put way too much time and energy into being "AFC".

2) Loses the girl. Forever. Lots of times you don't want to LOSE the girl, you just need her to back off and give you space. The idea here is NOT to make yourself less attractive to her. If you do, you'll be getting all the space you need. Permanently.

3) Makes you look like a wussy chump in front of all her (possibly hot) friends. So when your girl finally leaves you alone, every chick in both your and your girl's current circle of friends avoids you like the plague, thinking that you'll grow clingy and smothering if they invest any time in you.

Do NOT act AFC. Just don't answer the phone every time she calls. Stay off AIM. Call her when YOU want to see her. If she starts b!tching just tell her you have stuff to do and you can't be with her every hour of the day.

Of course if you don't give her ENOUGH time she'll bail, but if you want time for yourself to do sh!t, that's not an unreasonable request at all. Stand up for yourself. Be a f'ing MAN, dammit!

 

[Caveman]

Yes! I never liked the idea of turning into an afc to reject a girl. Main reason: it takes too much time and effort that I just wasn't ready to give.

Someone here suggested to tell a girl you see her as a sister and it works like a charm. Best advice I ever read about the subject of rejecting. And it's defenitely true, squirrels, that you turn off any of her hot female friends too by acting afc.

Good post.

 

[comic_relief]

I give that advice but...

not the only one who gave it.(I don't remember what post I gave it in). I started writing out a post for this but found out that you already replied. Basically the same advice you gave Caveman.

Good post squirrels

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Caveman
Someone here suggested to tell a girl you see her as a sister and it works like a charm.

I'd be careful with that one, it can have the opposite effect!

 

[Caveman]

Really? You experienced this?
Share!

 

[Oxide]

The advice about telling a girl you see her as a friend/sister in order to make her wonder "wtf..he doesnt like me?" might sound good in theory, but seems too far fetched in real life.


Everyone who is getting better at the game should read the old post called "not for newbies..overgaming the girl" If you are playing the girl..and toss that sister line..AND keep on not showing her that you are any bit attracted..she will simply believe you are not interested and move on.

i like this post..let's pull out some more questionable advice -

KINO. Now, when i first started on this board, i thought THIS WAS the MAGIC PILL. I even told me brothers, "I have a secret way that will get me women..kino!" ..because from what i've read..kino gets you laid.

Then the reality kicked in when i went out in the field. Alright, guys, in the nutshell kino sounds like a wonderful idea.. you touch her arm/she touches you back..you touch her shoulder..she returns it..then you escalate it till you are fvcking each other..

Whoa..sounds good! Where do i sign up? Well, the truth is, you will be getting nowhere if you are missing one key factor that makes kino work- the Attraction. Without attraction, your kino is going right out the window.

Dont believe me? Go to the mall..approach a girl. Ask her for her name..ask her what she is doing at the mall.. now touch her shoulder..... you are in for a long puzzled look..followed by a girl walking away while you are "waiting for her to return the kino".

However..kino is simply WONDERFUL when you are attracted to person.. why? Becuase it's fvcking natural! When i like the girl.. i love putting my arm on her neck..massagin her, rubbing her inner thigh, moving my fingertips along her jaw line... all this stuff i dont even think about.. no freaking step by step kino program..just me and my girl ENJOYING the experience.

Yes, i have kino'd on first dates with girls i just met.. this was when i knew she felt attracted... i would play with their hair... touch their hips.. if she didnt resist then i knew i was in.

But guys..attraction comes before kino.. you cant make a girl like you by groping her all over the place.

 

[Don_Marko]

I think acting AFC on purpose would be an interesting women's studies experiment... purely from scientific point of view

 

[Ice Cold]

I guess I'm a keyboard jockey then.

What if:

You bring flowers
Tell her how much you love her
Try to kiss her almost instantly

I could go in "creepytalk mode" and it would work for me.

 

[NoBull]

Regarding the cliche advice: "If you want to get rid of a girl, act 'AFC'. She'll be driven away from you."

I don't agree with that, because:

1- If you're a DJ: After developing a DJ mindset, being an AFC becomes much harder than being a DJ. Because you've learned that AFC's get walked on, AFC's spend too much money on pleasing the girl, you can see where I'm going with this... ETC. so you try to stay away from the AFC way.

2- If you're a r-AFC: You're trying to stay as far away from being an AFC as possible, not involving yourself with that AFC BS, so why should you change your ways around a certain girl? This changes your state of mind, and makes it more difficult for you to get that DJ mindset you're seeking.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Just tell her upfront things aren't working out anymore.

If you make it a policy not to get overcommitted, tell her so.


Or you could drug her, take her to Canada, give her to the cop station, then run away.

 

[Centy]

lol easier said then done

 

[tiburon]

squirrels?

Just wanted to drop a hi , wondering if you been missing me ...lol