if you thought your girlfriend was cheating..

[randalll]

how would you react, would you call her on it? ignore it? what?

this is hypothetical by the way, im single and have never been in a serious relationship, but i do wonder how i'd handle situations like this.

one of my friends told me the other day he asked one of his friends to go to the club his girlfriend was at and keep an eye on her, and make sure she wasn't flirting, or worse. his friend and his girlfriend had never met each other.

i thought that was really afc and insecure.

if you thought she was cheating though, would you resort to anything like that?

if i found out i'd try and deal with it like lester in american beauty, when he's working at the fast food drive-in and his wife pulls in with that guy in the car.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjNY4o_i5RY

if you havent seen the film this is the scene im talking about

how would he have dealt with it if he only suspected she was cheating?

thoughts/ideas..

 

[Hughman]

You have to give your girl space and trust. Finding out about her through deceit, whether that's through reading her mail, texts or getting friends to keep an eye on her, is not going to get you anywhere, as it makes you look like the insecure bad guy.

Any relationship I'm in that isn't explicitly exclusive, is going to be casual. Sure, I'd like to think my girl is not seeing anyone else, but I'm not going to be a hypocrite.

If it is exclusive, and she's cheating on you, then I'd personally go about it like this. You have to confirm she's cheating firstly. Then you'd be blunt with her. Try to figure out what part of your game you are missing, or if it's just bad luck being with a slut. Then you drop her, no arguments, no fighting, just pure cold indifference. You may then acquire a fvck buddy out of it, but I personally haven't done that yet.

If you suspect she's cheating, then push-pull. See if you still satisfy her, but then cold-shoulder her to see if she blows a cog in worry. If she's cheating, or losing her attraction to you, then she won't care. If she does care, she'll go nuts, and this tactic will generally increase attraction to you, though it can of course backfire. ('is he cheating on me?' etc etc)

 

[randalll]

"If you suspect she's cheating, then push-pull. See if you still satisfy her, but then cold-shoulder her to see if she blows a cog in worry. If she's cheating, or losing her attraction to you, then she won't care. If she does care, she'll go nuts, and this tactic will generally increase attraction to you, though it can of course backfire. ('is he cheating on me?' etc etc)"

this is good advice
just difficult to do if you want to find out quickly

 

[DonGorgon]

Wether you think she is or not .. she is gona cheat.. what should you do? cost benefit analysis of the situation..

 

[Cinamon]

you lay down the law when you start the relationship. I trust you completely, but if you were to ever cheat on me, i will walk away and never come back... now its up to you if that is a risk your willing to take.

 

[BongDuy]

you lay down the law when you start the relationship. I trust you completely, but if you were to ever cheat on me, i will walk away and never come back... now its up to you if that is a risk your willing to take.

not to change the thread, but do you think its weak if you establish rules at the very beginning of a relationship? such as
me: " Okay, i want to establish two rules. 1, if either one of us cheats, the relationship is over. we will walk away, and not talk about it. 2, we will communicate and tell each other when something is wrong"

does that sound weak?

 

[DJDamage]

First rule first:

Never agree to be in LTR with a girl you can't trust. If you are looking at the LTR route then the whole purpose of dating for you is to gauge whether or not this girl is worthy of your time.

- Are her words and actions consistent with one another?
- Does she ever lie? did you ever catch her in a lie?
- Is she an attention wh0re? loves getting attention from men all the time.
- Is she often too busy for you and disappear for days without calling?
- Does she have many "girls night out"?
- Does she have close male friends?
- Does she appear to have high interest in you?

If everything above checks out after dating her for 6 months then its likely she has stopped playing the field and will be committed to your LTR. However if any of the above list rears its ugly head then it means she could be losing interest in you and thus becoming more susceptible to cheating or is already cheating. When things start to head south then its up to you to make that decision to either end things quickly or take a chance and go down with the ship.

Due to my own personal experience, I never take that chance ever again because once your ship starts to leak, its usually the begining of the end.

 

[Daydream Engineer]

1. Your reading my comment
2. Now your saying/thinking thats a stupid fact.
4. You didnt notice that i skipped 3.
5. Your checking it now.
6. Your smiling.
7. Your still reading my comment.
8. You know all you have read is true.
10. You didnt notice that i skipped 9.
11. Your checking it now.
12. You didnt notice there are only 10 facts

okay... i had to repost this from the video comments haha

 

[Nutz]

you lay down the law when you start the relationship. I trust you completely, but if you were to ever cheat on me, i will walk away and never come back... now its up to you if that is a risk your willing to take.

There's a drawback to that line of thinking. When they know without question you'll walk and there's no chance she can rope you back in, a lot of women will go to insane lengths to hide the infidelity, thereby putting you at risk.

 

[londonzen]

dump her becoz her vagina size gets loose :crackup:

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I see two options.

1. If things arent going right and you dont know if she is cheating or not. Dump her. Alot of worries and stress will be lifted off you and you just move on to the next girl.

2. If you really like the girl. Dont jump to conclusions at first. Do a little investigating. Sometimes insecurities and jealousy cloud your mind.

As for a friend following your gf to see what she is up to. Its not really a big deal. Maybe, your suspicions were right and your friend got to see it all. Or maybe nothing happend.

Whatever makes you sleep good at night...

 

[Cinamon]

There's a drawback to that line of thinking. When they know without question you'll walk and there's no chance she can rope you back in, a lot of women will go to insane lengths to hide the infidelity, thereby putting you at risk.

If she cheats, she is going to go to insane lenghths to hide it anyway... The issue arises once you click on and find out.

 

[shaunuk]

If you suspect she's cheating, then push-pull. See if you still satisfy her, but then cold-shoulder her to see if she blows a cog in worry. If she's cheating, or losing her attraction to you, then she won't care. If she does care, she'll go nuts, and this tactic will generally increase attraction to you, though it can of course backfire. ('is he cheating on me?' etc etc)

Thing is, I don't think it would always work like that. Girls who are cheating will still (usually) get jealous if they see girls flirting with their bf, and on the same token, lots of girls who are cheating will still respond textbook to push-pull.

If you suspect your girlfriend is cheating, there is clearly a reason you are suspecting it. You sense she is untrustworthy and deceiptful. That, in itself, is reason enough to call it a day, but it also says it may only be a matter of time before she does cheat....if she hasn't already.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Interesting.

 

[Willis]

My uncle Fred told me a long time ago,,,

WOMEN FU(k MEN and MEN FU(K WOMEN
once you realise that you dont own anyone and just because you call her your girlfriend or she calls you her boyfriend doesnt really mean anything when human nature and desire are in the mix

when im with a women i let them know i dont own them and they can do whatever they want,,they can go **** anybody they want i dont care because im out oin my own thing whith whoever...but i wont tolerate any disrespect at all

trying to lock a woman down only sets you up for heartbreak... believe me ive been there and i aslo been on the other side of the fence where mens wives wanted it with me....so it is what it is...