If you think she's playing games/mixed signals

[donovan]

Its hard to read women. I use the rule that you always have to initiate. That gives me alot more of a stress free life, just knowing that if I DONT, she WONT.

When you start noticing her text you out of nowhere, then you know shes getting hooked

 

[tmpgstx]

But what do you do if you`re ACTUALLY interested in the girl...cause like someone said...a hot girl can move on real quick and find someone else...

The more attractive ones are different because they're in higher demand. You have to place as much or more value on yourself than she does. This will get you respect, not only from her, but from yourself also. This is important and will keep you from becoming a desparate fool.

The best way is let her give you the cues, and you take them as they come. Women are natural (more natural) at men in building the relationship in the beginning. Let her have the wheel, and know when to go and when to stop.

 

[Bosshogg]

thanks tmpgstx


so should I call her?...I look at it as desperate...and if she wasnt interested..why bother emailing me to tell me she`ll call me??

hehe

 

[Confused]

Does this walking away have to be done at a certain point or is it too late?

What is described in the post is exactly me, i keep going back and trying and she does give me a chance but it seems to be I need to be in luck that she hasn't got anything else going on cos her IL in me is too low now, and that's my fault for being too needy, clingy, available and jealous.

Do you need to be around for her to notice you've walked away as in she sees you rather than you just disappear?

I'd assume she'd just forget about you cos she has so many suitors.

 

[KockyMcGoodstroke]

Great post!!! It's actually one of the reasons I stumbled across this forum! I was trying to date a girl at my job. She would flirt with me, go on lunch breaks with me, play grabby ass and so on. We went out on a few dates and she started to go cold. She warmed up again and then flaked out on me a few times, and I would go an entire week without seeing her or hearing from her. Though she knew when she saw me at work all she had to do was grab my hand, rub my back, flash that smile n it would all be okay!

One day however I had enough and stopped being a chump and just started acting like I didn't care, started qualifying her, started acting like a real man should. Making it clear that if she wants any of my attention shes gonna have to earn it, and boy was she mad. She went as far as to send me a text saying that she was calling off our friendship. I just laughed and went about my work. It was a lesson that was tough to learn because I did like her (idk why besides she looks like she gives good head lol), but I'm glad I did.

A real man has options, even if not readily available, he knows that a great person like him would be better off alone than reducing himself to some womans plaything. Straight up.

 

[hydroheathen]

your saving my life brah

 

[Trance]

How to "walk away" when being far

I love this post and have an interesting question.

How can you can you walk away when there is like a distance between when both you and the girl live?
I mean this in a sense of treating her with indiference when with her, but when you actually need to drive or her to drive to somewhere so that u get together?

 

[starplayer]

I love this post and have an interesting question.

How can you can you walk away when there is like a distance between when both you and the girl live?
I mean this in a sense of treating her with indiference when with her, but when you actually need to drive or her to drive to somewhere so that u get together?

What do you mean exactly? You don't drive to anywhere to get together in the first place.

You walk away. You stop contacting her. You stop meeting up with her.

This isn't a trick to get the girl after you - that will only work short-term and soon she will be back to her old behavior as soon as she reels you back in.

This is about getting out of a bad situation. Simply disappear from her life. The whole point of this is to next a girl who's not giving you what you want.

 

[Three3Kingz]

i think this thread needs to skyrocket back to the top for the good of us all. some of the best advice youll ever hear is in this thread :yes:

 

[catman]

This isnt in the bible?

 

[casthenova]

I'd like to elaborate on this "walking away" idea. If you get to a point where you are in total control of your emotions, I think you can represent yourself in a different way.

Ponder this. A girl is very interested and begins to play games for whatever reason. Perhaps she has her own issues, perhaps she just looks at men as disposable and fun to play with. You catch wind of her playing games. Now if you follow the threads of this post you "walk away" into the sunset, believing yourself to be amazingly strong and maintaining your power. You laugh at the prospect of being played with because you walk away at the first sign.

Now, let's take it a step further. Say you don't walk away at all, ever from anything. Say you face it like a man, however you control your emotions. You eliminate all feelings for her whatsoever. You don't walk away, because you don't have to. You simply remove your emotions towards her and push her to the outskirts of your life. You don't take calls, don't hang out, don't initiate, don't compliment in fact you stop thinking about her. But you never walk away. You never insult her. You never even hint at the fact that you are even the slightest bit effected. You don't have to walk away and remove her from your life, you just aren't interested anymore.

You take the emotions you were feeling, openness, caring, loving and you eliminate them completely from your interactions. You don't walk away, but your emotions do. Then it doesn't matter that she is playing games with you because you aren't interested anymore.

Now here is the point. This is the pinnacle of character and strength. Walking away is a sign of weakness. You walk away because you can't handle staying in contact with her and can't handle the way it makes you feel. If you were really strong you could just withdrawal your emotions from her entirely, move on from any romantic prospects and you soon become untouchable.

Never walk away from anyone or anything. Build a life where if someone enters it, they are a part of it indefinitely. But if she displays her bad character then you withdrawal your emotions. You can even answer calls and texts if you want but the key here is to become a master over yourself.

Keep her on the outskirts like an orbiter. Walking away makes you a chump in my eyes. To me, we walk away because we can't handle feeling emotion. If you can figure out a way to feel your emotion and control it, operating from your masculine strength then you truly are untouchable. You don't have to walk away from anything or anyone you just don't feel anything towards her. She becomes meaningless in the scheme of your life so whether she is contacting you or not and whether you are open or not is irrelevant because you aren't interested.

The reason to do this is that more people that know your character the better. She WILL become powerless. She will see that her games don't even effect you. Nothing she can do could ever effect you because you are in control of all of your emotions. She wanted to play you? Big mistake because now you flipped the script and add her to your list of do not emotionally invest.

Don't ever walk away from anyone. Keep them believing in your character and they will become your followers. In the end of the day its not what you know but who and if someone respects your character so much they will do anything for you.

 

[McMack]

Stand your ground

Excellent! Amen, brother. This stuff is GOLD, Jerry....GOLD! I think you are really on to the best way to react, Casthenova. Walking away is incomplete; to stay there and remain in control as you cast her aside is a complete victory for you, the victim! I love it - awesome stuff, sir - I thank you for the insight.

 

[dudewut]

Realistically, we cannot all just walk away from every girl that displeases you, especially since its in their nature to play games and stuff, how does one convey early on that you CAN walk away even before she commits the crime?

 

[prenup1]

That SH*T is da truest !!!!! I don't let them get over....

 

[Czech]

The quality of posts I read on the DJ forums keep getting better and better. Having been an active member on the Venusian Arts forums for years, I sincerely wished I had found this forum long before I made the many mistakes the Don Juans here have answers to.

I can contest to the fact that not only is walking away the best solution to mixed signals, but that there shouldn't be mixed signals in the first place. I got to a point in my life where I didn't want to chase, play games or waste time seducing girls. If things did not move forward with a girl, then I moved forward-- without her.

I soon realized that all of these "hot" women played games because they were afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of feeling vulnerable, afraid of the future.

As soon as I thought of these hot women as scared little girls, I became instantly turned off. It made it easy to walk away from them and STAY away from them. Who would you rather have in your life, a scared princess or a mature woman who can take on the world?

Eventually I found someone awesome who didn't play games. She is fearless, motivated, intelligent and sexy.

The SIMPLEST relationships are the BEST relationships.

If relationships were money, every morning I wake up a millionaire.

For all you Don Juans out there: Sleep around NOW and get it OUT of your system. When the right girl comes into your life, you don't want to pass her up for the next one night stand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2CN2wWHGss

-- Which would you choose? --

 

[Purefilth]

bump... and +1 ^^

 

[Aceupmysleeve]

I'd like to elaborate on this "walking away" idea. If you get to a point where you are in total control of your emotions, I think you can represent yourself in a different way.

Ponder this. A girl is very interested and begins to play games for whatever reason. Perhaps she has her own issues, perhaps she just looks at men as disposable and fun to play with. You catch wind of her playing games. Now if you follow the threads of this post you "walk away" into the sunset, believing yourself to be amazingly strong and maintaining your power. You laugh at the prospect of being played with because you walk away at the first sign.

Now, let's take it a step further. Say you don't walk away at all, ever from anything. Say you face it like a man, however you control your emotions. You eliminate all feelings for her whatsoever. You don't walk away, because you don't have to. You simply remove your emotions towards her and push her to the outskirts of your life. You don't take calls, don't hang out, don't initiate, don't compliment in fact you stop thinking about her. But you never walk away. You never insult her. You never even hint at the fact that you are even the slightest bit effected. You don't have to walk away and remove her from your life, you just aren't interested anymore.

You take the emotions you were feeling, openness, caring, loving and you eliminate them completely from your interactions. You don't walk away, but your emotions do. Then it doesn't matter that she is playing games with you because you aren't interested anymore.

Now here is the point. This is the pinnacle of character and strength. Walking away is a sign of weakness. You walk away because you can't handle staying in contact with her and can't handle the way it makes you feel. If you were really strong you could just withdrawal your emotions from her entirely, move on from any romantic prospects and you soon become untouchable.

Never walk away from anyone or anything. Build a life where if someone enters it, they are a part of it indefinitely. But if she displays her bad character then you withdrawal your emotions. You can even answer calls and texts if you want but the key here is to become a master over yourself.

Keep her on the outskirts like an orbiter. Walking away makes you a chump in my eyes. To me, we walk away because we can't handle feeling emotion. If you can figure out a way to feel your emotion and control it, operating from your masculine strength then you truly are untouchable. You don't have to walk away from anything or anyone you just don't feel anything towards her. She becomes meaningless in the scheme of your life so whether she is contacting you or not and whether you are open or not is irrelevant because you aren't interested.

The reason to do this is that more people that know your character the better. She WILL become powerless. She will see that her games don't even effect you. Nothing she can do could ever effect you because you are in control of all of your emotions. She wanted to play you? Big mistake because now you flipped the script and add her to your list of do not emotionally invest.

Don't ever walk away from anyone. Keep them believing in your character and they will become your followers. In the end of the day its not what you know but who and if someone respects your character so much they will do anything for you.

Casthenova , amen i really like your perspective on this. Tell me , do you still believe this to be true because i am in this exact scenerio , just wondering if this is how i should play it ! ?

 

[justanescort]

Where in the **** did you get that bull ****...Dr. Phil?

 

[nismo-4]

Women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

Mixed signals means low interest.

Those are the simple ass facts.

Case closed.

 

[ace88]

Superlative well thought out post, crowes22! A Hall of Fame candidate!

Yes, walk away with dignity with your head held up high. We DJs DON'T need women to be happy. Only women who respect us, treat us like human beings and who value our company are deserving of our time and attention.

AMEN BROTHER!