'If you think I'm going to clean up all the time..."

[goldengoose]

The point is, she is inviting him over for dinner. He doesn't live with her. There should be no reason for him to be cleaning dishes. I can't imagine any guy even considering doing that. Some guy wearing an apron with a scrub brush cleaning away with the soapy water. I tell ya LOL

Once you start giving in, she will know to do this with other things. Then she will have you by the balls and will be running the relationship. First it will be the dishes, then it will be something else. Don't let yourself get into a situation like that.

You can do nice things, but not when she is telling you to. You give in once, then you will do it again. She will find your weakness and know what use to manipulate you. Women are always trying to find a soft spot to gain the upper hand.

Every guy (or girl that told me about the other guy) I've known that lost a relationship this way was because they changed. They quit beng the guy they used to be, they became a soft AFC catering to whatever the woman wanted. They were too content in the relationship to keep the frame. After a while the woman got bored of running the show. She was able to turn "the alpha" into the beta, she got tired of him being the new beta, then she started to look for another man.

Girls that cheated on their boyfriends and dumped them told me this: "Oh he used to be really cool but he changed into a different guy."

Women will say they want a guy like that, but when he becomes that guy, the chick will dump him because he is boring, he isn't "the guy" that was turning her on.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Really? Please, let's keep this in perspective. It's not like she has to do the dishes of a whole family unit! It's her house, her dishes. Just don't expect her to do your dishes when she's visiting your place.

Exactly. It's her house. She invited him for dinner. Asking your guest to do the dishes is a little tacky IMO. Presumably, when she is over at his house, he's not asking her to do household chores.

 

[Atom Smasher]

No problem with that, but if you've ever lived on your own for long periods of time (as I have), surely you must have picked up some cooking skills. The greatest chefs have traditionally been male, after all. And that means dishes to do. There are definitely more male-specific gender role chores, but it seems like an independent guy is going to be well rounded and able to take care of himself in every way.

Yes but when a woman is present, for me it is desirable that she does the traditionally female stuff and I do the male stuff. I'm also willing to fix her brakes and change her oil and such too, so I like to use chores to accentuate and complement our different sexuality. There are lots of gray areas in this topic but what matters is that the man FEEL COMFORTABLE and MANLY and DOESN'T feel pressured to do things that he simply doesn't feel comfortable doing.

 

[Atom Smasher]

LOL my gf asked me the other day if I needed more coat hangers. Why? Because I have a habit of leaving my dress shirts on the futon in the spare room.

Five minutes later we were in the kitchen. As I looked at the sink and saw a few dishes I asked her if she needed more sponges. She laughed and hit me. Why? Because delivery matters. Always make sure to incorporate humor where you can.

Well executed.

 

[Colossus]

Yes but when a woman is present, for me it is desirable that she does the traditionally female stuff and I do the male stuff. I'm also willing to fix her brakes and change her oil and such too, so I like to use chores to accentuate and complement our different sexuality. There are lots of gray areas in this topic but what matters is that the man FEEL COMFORTABLE and MANLY and DOESN'T feel pressured to do things that he simply doesn't feel comfortable doing.

Agreed.

My gf honestly does 90% of my laundry (from wash to fold) and 60% of my dishes without me ever asking. It's to the point where I feel guilty letting her do all my house chores, even though she likes to, so I will stop her sometimes and do them myself.

I do help her with "man" things: trash, car maintenance, certain purchases, fix-it things, etc. I think it's a great arrangement.

 

[Zunder]

It all depends on the individual relationship and what the normal dynamics are.

I've always had a very old fashioned attitude toward kitchen stuff (the woman does that) but my current girlfriend acknowledges my masculinity and her femininity in so many other ways that I'm actually finding myself making BBQ meals at my place once in a while. I do most of the work in those cases.

But she also often cooks me meals at her place, doing everything. She likes me to lie on the couch and read to her while she's cooking. One of her favorites is "The Book of Pook". j/k

True Atom, but you are doing it because YOU want to do it.

She is basically giving him an order. If you want to do something do it of your own accord. Never fvcking ever do something a woman your fvcking tells you to do - and I mean never.

She should be getting wet that she is making meals for her man, then washing up, while you start stroking your cok ready to slam her poosy as a reward for her making you a good meal. That's right. You REWARD her with your cok. If this is not the dynamic of the relationship, then it will be history, or maybe you will become her little bytch while she starts facebooking alpha males from her college days.
That she even had the balls to suggest you wash up is quite worrying.

Do your man shyt like taking out the rubbish and sweeping the leaves. Kitchen = womens shyt.

 

[Zunder]

The point is, she is inviting him over for dinner. He doesn't live with her. There should be no reason for him to be cleaning dishes. I can't imagine any guy even considering doing that. Some guy wearing an apron with a scrub brush cleaning away with the soapy water. I tell ya LOL

Once you start giving in, she will know to do this with other things. Then she will have you by the balls and will be running the relationship. First it will be the dishes, then it will be something else. Don't let yourself get into a situation like that.

You can do nice things, but not when she is telling you to. You give in once, then you will do it again. She will find your weakness and know what use to manipulate you. Women are always trying to find a soft spot to gain the upper hand.

Every guy (or girl that told me about the other guy) I've known that lost a relationship this way was because they changed. They quit beng the guy they used to be, they became a soft AFC catering to whatever the woman wanted. They were too content in the relationship to keep the frame. After a while the woman got bored of running the show. She was able to turn "the alpha" into the beta, she got tired of him being the new beta, then she started to look for another man.

Girls that cheated on their boyfriends and dumped them told me this: "Oh he used to be really cool but he changed into a different guy."

Women will say they want a guy like that, but when he becomes that guy, the chick will dump him because he is boring, he isn't "the guy" that was turning her on.

I had not read you replied until I after I had posted mine.
You nailed it here Goldengoose, and said a lot more articulately than I.

 

[Zunder]

This is Fireballs in a few years: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZreIaXFwxU

 

[logicallefty]

A month or so after I started at my current job another woman started who was single and widowed. She had also just moved in to a new house.

In one Monday morning our Director said "Windowlady has a lot to do in her new place. She could really use a MAN to come over and help her out with heavy lifting and some home repairs. If any of you are interested in helping her out please let me know.".

I piped up first and said "Hmm.. Can she cook?".

All of the women in my department got upset over this! Started calling me sexist, a chauvinist pig, etc. It was short lived though. Now they all know me well and expect this type of comment from me, and would be checking my pulse if I didn't respond in the that manor I did.

 

[Vulpine]

This is Fireballs in a few years: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZreIaXFwxU

:crackup:

Not only did he take it, he ƒucked up is clothes, too?:nono:

 

[The Duke]

Every guy (or girl that told me about the other guy) I've known that lost a relationship this way was because they changed. They quit beng the guy they used to be, they became a soft AFC catering to whatever the woman wanted. They were too content in the relationship to keep the frame. After a while the woman got bored of running the show. She was able to turn "the alpha" into the beta, she got tired of him being the new beta, then she started to look for another man.

Girls that cheated on their boyfriends and dumped them told me this: "Oh he used to be really cool but he changed into a different guy."

:yes: that was exactly what happened with my marriage. Very accurate assessment.

 

[zekko]

This drives home a key point I make over and over again. The first step towards "lowering the price of men" for women is to diminish any value they provide and therefore expectations for quid pro quo.

Yeah, if it isn't sexist to ask for a man to do heavy lifting and home repairs, why is it sexist to ask about the woman cooking? One is just as much a stereotype as the other. But like you say, women want to nullify all the value of a man's services and just consider it a given that we should do it for them.

 

[logicallefty]

Yeah, if it isn't sexist to ask for a man to do heavy lifting and home repairs, why is it sexist to ask about the woman cooking? One is just as much a stereotype as the other. But like you say, women want to nullify all the value of a man's services and just consider it a given that we should do it for them.

Yep. In their minds they give us \|/ so we owe them.

 

[mrRuckus]

All good. I'm taking something I read on rationalmale a bit too literally.

Might be time for a week off.

was it the one where women put out less when men do girl chores?

Exactly. It's her house. She invited him for dinner. Asking your guest to do the dishes is a little tacky IMO. Presumably, when she is over at his house, he's not asking her to do household chores.

Lol. Logic. Fairness. With women. Like those things have any place in the discussion.

Yeah, if it isn't sexist to ask for a man to do heavy lifting and home repairs, why is it sexist to ask about the woman cooking?

The real question is who cares if you're being sexist? We have to stop acting as if the goals of women and others are our own.

A correct answer to "you're being sexist" is "and?" and not "here's a reason why you're misintrepreting..."

 

[CrimsonPanther]

"Your turn to do the dishes next time. If you think I'm going to clean up all the time, you're with the wrong girl." (Said playfully with a smile)

"I'm with the perfect girl" (with a smirk) "sure i will do the dishes next time "
and then do the dishes next time. usually if you do the dishes 1 out of 10 times it is enough. if she is so good, and it's worth it, why not? as some said here, it is not a power game here, you have to show her you care to some extent.

my opinion and practice.