If you love her, you let her go

[darksprezzatura]

When plate spinning, if you notice you are getting a oneitis for a woman, even though it's going great, it's a good idea to leave her.

Not for game.
Not for bad behaviour.
Not for getting laid more.

But to protect your heart and freedom.

It's tough to get oneitis when plate spinning, but everyone goes through tough spells when other options are limited and not what we want.

What's your opinion? I'd love to hear your suggestions and alternate solutions.

 

[Dr.Suave]

It´s cool. If she loves you she´ll come back.

 

[The Duke]

It depends on what your objective is. If you spin plates just for good times then certainly. If you spin plates to help find a solid girl and she is all of that then why not go for it.

Running away because you are developing feelings for someone and fear getting hurt is an attachment disorder. We all experience different styles of attachment throughout life.

I like to hang onto things in my life that I deem "great". Just make sure she truly is all of that and you aren't under the influence of your own love chemicals.

Its far easier to acquire more plates than it is girls who are great.

 

[Knight of Roses]

There are some women who are intrinsically superior in ways to other women. When you spin plates you will discover those that are just in it for fun, those that want something from you, and the rare one that is actually a good catch. You discover that over time and as you put these women through your own tests. Out of the women I've dated, I can count on my hand how many were LTR material; so, if she is really worth the time, I think it's important to consider it.

 

[darksprezzatura]

It´s cool. If she loves you she´ll come back.

I've noticed this happen time and again. Yes!

 

[darksprezzatura]

It depends on what your objective is. If you spin plates just for good times then certainly. If you spin plates to help find a solid girl and she is all of that then why not go for it.

Running away because you are developing feelings for someone and fear getting hurt is an attachment disorder. We all experience different styles of attachment thru out life.

I like to hang onto things in my life that I deem "great". Just make sure she truly is all of that and you aren't under the influence of your own love chemicals.

Its far easier to acquire more plates than it is girls who are great.

Brilliant insight, and absolutely on point with the attachment disorder style. I'm probably avoidant.
You seem to know what you are telling about so I'll specifically ask your feedback on this:

She displayed some major red flags:
-friends with trashy girls (ones with daddy issues,sloots)
-heard she's slooty herself from a lot of close friends I have (they won't advise wrong)
-lots of guy friends
-flaked many times last moment over the months
-influenced by feminism
-dyed hair

Logically, I absolutely know I did the right thing. Just you guys and your reinforcement will sail me through it!

 

[darksprezzatura]

There are some women who are intrinsically superior in ways to other women. When you spin plates you will discover those that are just in it for fun, those that want something from you, and the rare one that is actually a good catch. You discover that over time and as you put these women through your own tests. Out of the women I've dated, I can count on my hand how many were LTR material; so, if she is really worth the time, I think it's important to consider it.

Agreed absolutely, but read what I wrote above though in response to @Howiestern maybe you'll know if it's worth it.

 

[captain55]

Guys commit to women way too ****en easily.

She needs to be the best you are ever going to do looks wise. Being with the hottest chick possible is so important not just for your status but your own self confidence.

For me she would need to be a 10/10. With a big butt a model like face and amazing tits. I’m not too picky about her career, as long as she’s not a stripper and she went to college

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It´s cool. If she loves you she´ll come back.

But she wont keep leaving

 

[resilient]

OP, I’ve read a few books on attachment styles. It’s awesome that you are self-aware of your own avoidant attachment style. I would strongly consider seeking emotional support so that you can heal and develop healthier secure attachments.

I have a preoccupied/anxious attachment style, so I always attract avoidant types who have a damaged past... typically alpha-widowed, divorce(s), likely rode the carousel, childhood trauma... I don’t try to solve them or play captain save a h0. I do my best to accept them as they are and provide them the secure love they need. I validate, affirm, give space when getting too emotionally intimate. The self-defense mechanism to increasing intimacy is to detach and putting distance in the relationship by withdrawing... either emotionally, physically, or both. Each side loses and the LTR seizes progression.

At this point, she also begins hunting for new victims as she prepares my discard. I’m getting better at spotting these women earlier in the dating phase... though it doesn’t make it easy for me if I have sparse or zero active plates lol.

I took it upon my personal responsibility to heal my own wounds, see a life coach, codependency support group, journaling, and practicing self-awareness. I.e. “what do I need right now? How am I abandoning my own needs when I don’t put my foot down or say no?” Etc.

 

[Spaz]

I hv a plate which I've been spinning for a good 12 years now....

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

When plate spinning, if you notice you are getting a oneitis for a woman, even though it's going great, it's a good idea to leave her.

Not for game.
Not for bad behaviour.
Not for getting laid more.

But to protect your heart and freedom.

It's tough to get oneitis when plate spinning, but everyone goes through tough spells when other options are limited and not what we want.

What's your opinion? I'd love to hear your suggestions and alternate solutions.

Women come back only when the epiphany phase. SMV tanks and playboy stopped calling. Only cucks play that game.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Women come back only when the epiphany phase. SMV tanks and playboy stopped calling. Only cucks play that game.

My point here is:

The moment a dude is pre-oneitis, leave the woman completely, quit the sex cold turkey, not wait for her to come back or something.

Walking away from pvssy that distracts us from our purpose and life, and isn't reliable is the ONE power a man has.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

My point here is:

The moment a dude is pre-oneitis, leave the woman completely, quit the sex cold turkey, not wait for her to come back or something.

Walking away from pvssy that distracts us from our purpose and life, and isn't reliable is the ONE power a man has.

But that's common sense. You nut on a bpd chick. You don't play house.