if you know who you are, and proud of it...

[moneyisking]

so i had little talk with my trustworthy bud after little drinking about my poor game. he ask me if i was a virgin and i said no *which is BS, i still have Vtag. then tells me i should just be myself. heard that sh!t millions times, so I told him isn't it better to change myself in order to improve, and he says "no, you should never change who you are just for girls."

now I remember this passage that goes somewhat like "if you don't know yourself, you won't get a girl." I just don't know who I am. and I bet the principles of your own identities embedded in your mind determines all the actions, thoughts and attitudes you get. so how the hell do you know who you are? am I the only one who is dumb enough not to know myself? help me out here, i read pua books, self help books, talked to people, etc. i just can't know the thing behind this.

 

[mahoney]

"you should just be who you are" is correct....BUT...who you are is not fixed in time! you're always changing anyway, are you the same person you were 10 years ago? will you be the same in 10 years time?

some parts of you will be the same but others not. A tree looks pretty different in January and in June, but its the same tree

saying "i don't know who i am" isn't dumb! thats quite good actually, you are aware of it, you can self-examine - many people don't know who they are, they just think they do. Many people's perception of themselves is rather different to how others see them! these are the people that dont know themselves - if you are unsure of your self-perception it means you have the ability to look at this

say for example someone has anger issues? should this person never change themselves? or would it be better for them if they addressed those issues? and if they successfully addressed those issues, they would behave differently in certain scenarios - but would they be the same person? yes and no

 

[Scars]

Are you trying to copy cat your buddy too much? I've seen this mistake happen a lot where the low value guys try and BE like the alpha male of the wolf pack, which never works because woman can clearly see that. Of course, you should take the finer points of his advice (being a man, respecting your self, and not taking any sh!t) but at the same time you must BE yourself. I think it's funny when you go to a club and in walks a group of 5 guys that ALL look the same. Same clothes, hair cut, attitude, and smirky look on their face. 1 of the 5 probably gets all the chicks, and the remaining 4 get his left overs. You need to be yourself and develop your own style. Me and my buddy roll together but we are also two completely different people. But the ladies love it. We mesh well together when we're out prospecting for 2-3 sets and it makes it more fun because we both have two fun personalities but we're both so different. It's almost like a comedy act sometimes. Point is.. be you, but be the confident you. And roll hard.

 

[moneyisking]

what is being myself? how do you know that whatever you are is being who you are? you mean do whatever feels right down in the heart, whatever feels good in the heart?

 

[Scars]

Just be NATURAL.

Some guys prevail utilizing "assh0le game."

Others, like myself just take the confident man approach. Meaning, you can be nice at times, but just don't take any sh!t from anyone. Especially a woman.

Follow your gut instinct, and just do/say whatever comes natural. Relax, and act like you're hanging out with a bunch of buddies you've known for years. No matter who it is. There's no need to get nervous or change yourself while in the presence of a woman.

-Scars

 

[squirrels]

Don't try to be someone you're not. Instead, commit to improving who you ARE.

If that makes sense.

But then...that's something you should be doing anyway, regardless of whether it's getting you women or not. If you're not growing, you're just wasting time and space.

 

[st_99]

IMO, I don't think it matters one bit if you try to act like someone else when trying to get girls OR you be yourself when trying to get girls. Getting girls to me, is just something you do as a seperate goal.

A lot of people on this site try to tie in all sorts of stuff about life to getting girls. To me, you can have low self esteem and get girls, you can be poor and get girls, you can be ugly and get girls.

Like if I have a goal to finish a masters degree, that doesn't have anything to do with my goal of losing 10 lb of fat and gaining 5 lbs of muslce. The 2 don't have anything to do with eachother, other than having a goal and going after it.

To me, getting girls is just another "thing" to do and I really don't care what your personality is, or job or self esteem or whatever the hell else.

This pretty much goes against 90% of what people on this site say but ask yourself how many times you've seen guys with hot a$$ ass girls and you say to yourself, wow, i'm way better than him in every way, I don't get it. Becaus it doesn't matter, just learn how to flirt, kino, hit on girls and follow up. That doesn't have anything to do with any other sh*t.

If a girl comes up to you and starts flirting, touching and giving you sexy eye contact are you asking her about her self esteem? her job? if she likes books or movies? or any stupid sh*t like that? NO, so why the hell do you think SHE would care.

 

[zekko]

"you should just be who you are" is correct....BUT...who you are is not fixed in time! you're always changing anyway

Right, so be the man you want to be.
Envision the guy you would like to be, and go out and be that person, don't just act like it, be that guy.

Follow your gut instinct, and just do/say whatever comes natural. Relax, and act like you're hanging out with a bunch of buddies you've known for years. No matter who it is. There's no need to get nervous or change yourself while in the presence of a woman.

That's a good example of "Be Yourself".

 

[PokerStar]

i think people put too much worry on the approach and they forget about having fun with the initial interaction.

 

[mahoney]

i think people put too much worry on the approach and they forget about having fun with the initial interaction.

well this is definitely true and part of many dudes problems imo - theyre not relaxed or enjoying the initial stages, which means they're not coming across as fun, which means its not fun for the girl either - and not relaxed, all just a bit too serious. early stuff needs to be fun, it doesnt need for everything to have some kind of implication

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Stop lying to your friends man. That ain't being yourself!

 

[moneyisking]

definitely a lot of good advices... i will first get my priorities straight though... to finish this BSN degree and get a real career