If you hear “I think we need a break”

[Barrister]

Is the best solution just to go No Contact? It isn’t completely a breakup but seems to almost always be a gradual process to one at that point. Or am I wrong in assuming that?

Was with a woman for 10 months. Great sex and lots of fun. But she keeps saying she might be moving out of the area - I basically told her I was getting tired of hearing she might be moving and didn’t see point in our relationship if she was and that’s how she responded. She had brought up marriage in between times she would talk about moving which I thought bizarre. I’m thinking I’m done.

 

[AttackFormation]

Agree and amplify. "A break? man that sounds like a great idea, shoulda brought it up sooner! OK see you in some time " and then never contact her again, let her do it if she wants to and hit up some other women or do whatever you want to do. She'll either be out of your life or come back at her own pace. where you can keep her for sex or a relationship again if you still want to take her back after her other guys she was talking to and took the break for didn't work out.

 

[lamath]

Need to take a break anwser is insta NEXT
No more talk and strait nc.

 

[Robert28]

Its not "we" need a break. It's "she" needs a break. Translation: She wants to consider other options.

Tell her "I couldn't agree with you more." and ghost her. If you were that important to her, she would never utter such words. She's looking for a way out.

I don’t even say that, I just say “ok cool” and then she’s dead to me. Forever.

 

[Trump]

Was with a woman for 10 months. Great sex and lots of fun. But she keeps saying she might be moving out of the area - I basically told her I was getting tired of hearing she might be moving and didn’t see point in our relationship if she was

That is a brutal response. Essentially you told her “I need a relationship and sex from you. Don’t leave me.”

Her: “I might be moving out of the area.”
‘You: “OK.”

 

[Barrister]

That is a brutal response. Essentially you told her “I need a relationship and sex from you. Don’t leave me.”

Her: “I might be moving out of the area.”
‘You: “OK.”

It wasn’t really that brutal. I’ve left a lot of background info out. I can explain this a bit more - I have a child from a past marriage whose mother lives in the area and we share joint custody. Meaning I can’t leave because my child comes first and I won’t see them really much at all if I leave state. this Woman and I had a conversation about 5 months back when our relationship got more serious about how I couldn’t leave because of my kid and if we were going to take it to next level she had to commit to staying here. She told me she wasn’t going to leave because I was here.

Long story short she had some work **** happen and suddenly began talking about moving just three weeks ago. It was a gut punch for me. And her talk of moving has been incessant since then despite her knowing how much it bugged me. It tells me her own desires are more important to her than I am- which is fine. What isn’t fine is telling me she’s committed to staying here then reneging but can’t say I’m surprised. I’m pretty jaded these days.

 

[sazc]

She's trying to get you to propose to her by telling you she might move away.

 

[Alvafe]

she need a break? then you flat out end with her and move on, in this case I don't even would go with agree and amplify, unless its ending right on that moment, and that means never going back with her

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Is the best solution just to go No Contact? It isn’t completely a breakup but seems to almost always be a gradual process to one at that point. Or am I wrong in assuming that?

Was with a woman for 10 months. Great sex and lots of fun. But she keeps saying she might be moving out of the area - I basically told her I was getting tired of hearing she might be moving and didn’t see point in our relationship if she was and that’s how she responded. She had brought up marriage in between times she would talk about moving which I thought bizarre. I’m thinking I’m done.

#nextset

 

[Spaz]

Don't amplify, just dump.

Now spin plates, max 3, anything more is not sustainable and too taxing.

If 1 or 2 becomes untenable then drop, repeat and rinse until such a time one of these plates has proven her worth for an LTR.

 

[foreverAFC]

when i was younger i used to have a lot of female friends, and anytime one of them went on a "break" with their bf's, they almost always had sex with multiple guys during that "break"

 

[backseatjuan]

It's the law of attraction. If the other person, he or she doens't matter, pushes away, you also push away.

 

[sazc]

Meaning I can’t leave because my child comes first and I won’t see them really much at all if I leave state. this Woman and I had a conversation about 5 months back when our relationship got more serious about how I couldn’t leave because of my kid and if we were going to take it to next level she had to commit to staying here. She told me she wasn’t going to leave because I was here.

Long story short she had some work **** happen and suddenly began talking about moving just three weeks ago. It was a gut punch for me. And her talk of moving has been incessant since then despite her knowing how much it bugged me. It tells me her own desires are more important to her than I am- which is fine. What isn’t fine is telling me she’s committed to staying here then reneging but can’t say I’m surprised. I’m pretty jaded these days.

Based on what OP wrote above, its not hard to figure out.

Either she's done with you and has been mouthing off about moving, waiting for you to end it, or shes angling for a proposal to see just HOW SERIOUS op really is.

To determine which one it is, how has the relationship been? Good? Bad?

Personally, I can't imagine someone who actually cares about me, throwing the idea of moving away into my face. That's not love, that's not compassion.

She's a terrible communicator any way you slice it. You stay with her you can expect more passive aggressitve games from her.

 

[RangerMIke]

This means your time on the ride is almost over. If you want extended 'play time', you need to do more, but you need to figure out exactly what that is. In this case, I suspect, the chick is looking for more of a commitment.

If you are not willing to pay the price for extended time, then it's best to just get off the ride and let the next dude have his turn.

 

[Serenity]

A good relationship doesn't need a break. If a woman ever expresses that she "needs a break" you respond with "in that case I'd rather break up". You don't have time to be left hanging, this is stupid sh!t that women does because they want something to fall back on if they fail to find another guy.

 

[Glassguy]

A good relationship doesn't need a break. If a woman ever expresses that she "needs a break" you respond with "in that case I'd rather break up". You don't have time to be left hanging, this is stupid sh!t that women does because they want something to fall back on if they fail to find another guy.

Agreed.

Think about this for a second:

She says that she needs a break. The man turns into a confused emotional creature. He starts chasing and acting all beta. That makes her even more inclined to end things. She sends him conflicting texts (hot/cold) to keep him dangling around. She has all the power.

-OR-

She says that she needs a break. You simply say "yeah I feel the same way but I like to know what direction I am heading so lets just end things now and I will start pursuing other options". (then obviously disappear). You have all the power.

Sometimes a woman will make a hastily emotional decision and use a "break" as a way to manipulate a man into a commitment. Be careful of this because if you fall for it, she will continue using such manipulative strategies on you in the future to get her way. That never ends well.

You, as a man, should never entertain the words "we need a break".

 

[ItsFate451]

Never try to keep someone who doesn’t want to keep you! This is her way of breaking up with you. Just agree to the break and make it permanent. Let her do all the contacting going forward.

 

[MatureDJ]

Take it as a gentle dumping. It's just a female trying to test her Sexual Market Value, with you obviously being a lower level than she feels - at her current situation (which will change over time) - she is capable of.

 

[Barrister]

Thanks for the replies, fellas. To update: I have been in NC since she said what she did with exception that she called me last night and I answered but said very little. She seemed taken aback by that like I was going to ask what was happening and beg her to end the "break." I acted disinterested instead. She again tried to reach out today and said she was going to call me later and I just said "ok" in a text reply. She has yet to call and I have zero intention of reaching out to her.

Thinking I may begin to reach out to other women soon. It's been 10 months since I have gotten to pursue other women and I am actually beginning to feel some anticipation to be back in the game instead of feeling down about this.

 

[Glassguy]

Thanks for the replies, fellas. To update: I have been in NC since she said what she did with exception that she called me last night and I answered but said very little. She seemed taken aback by that like I was going to ask what was happening and beg her to end the "break." I acted disinterested instead. She again tried to reach out today and said she was going to call me later and I just said "ok" in a text reply. She has yet to call and I have zero intention of reaching out to her.

Thinking I may begin to reach out to other women soon. It's been 10 months since I have gotten to pursue other women and I am actually beginning to feel some anticipation to be back in the game instead of feeling down about this.

Just from experience of my own and other people that have asked me for advice on this same thing:

If she calls this evening/tonight, I wouldnt answer it. Go find something fun to do, take a chick out, etc. I am not telling you to do this as a manipulation tactic, I am telling you to do this because you should not be making yourself available to her since she wanted a break.

Send her a text TOMORROW that says "Saw where you called, I was busy last night". No more explanation. Hell you dont even have to text anything. Just dont answer her call.

Yes it will make her squirm but that is the effect of you doing something else and not setting time aside for her. That was her choice.

I would 100% recommend that you start reaching out to other women NOW. Even IF your soon to be ex gf finds out you just tell her "You wanted a break, I am talking to other people". Period. Gaslight her.

If you happen to pull a couple of dates, go on them regardless of what happens with the soon to be ex. Hell lets just call her the Ex because thats what she is. If she finds out that you are going on dates, GREAT! Your SMV just went through the roof as long as they are attractive women.

The point is this- you SHOULDNT care what she thinks because SHE wanted the BREAK. Get it? If this all sends her hamster into overdrive thats on HER not YOU.

You need to get into this mindset and out of your current mindset. Trust me good things happen when you have the mindset that I am suggesting here. Even if she comes running back and you try to work it out......you still need to have this mindset and ultimately a stronger frame.