If you get one date out of ten approaches, is that success

[skinnyguy]

the PUA community is built on the following: approach as many women as possible, and if you get a number, your PUA has worked.

Now, I for one have never been one to use pick up lines, or gimmicks to get women. It seems that many people believe that you should just keep approaching and approaching until something hits.

But if you're approaching 100 women, and 2 of them talk to you/give their number, isn't that beyond pathetic?

I'm getting the sense that, if you get one lay after many many approaches, that is somehow considered successful.

If it takes THAT MUCH EFFORT just to get a lay, then call me lazy but I'd rather not bother. As many people mentioned earlier, if you have to use "game" to get women, you're already doing too much. The alpha guys don't even need to approach in order to get laid.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Man, I can't wait until you get yourself banned.

You keep making threads about how you'd "rather not bother"....yet here you are every day.

 

[-Gripz-]

Not every woman in the world is going to be attracted to you. This may seem a bit cliche' but just being yourself works wonders. Stop trying so hard and you will succeed. That doesn't mean just "give up", by all means talk to women when you get the opportunity. Just chill and let things happen naturally. Also, just because you approach 100 women and only get 2 numbers doesn't mean its "pathetic". Any success is great.

I was the same way as you, but when I stopped trying so hard, women came to me. Thing is; sometimes when you put in so much effort, you don't pay attention to the women who are actually attracted to you. Trust me, it works.

-Gripz-

 

[Serenity]

If you get a lay after 500 approaches it's more success than you would get by not approaching anyone.

If you consider it too much effort you are not determined enough to be successful.

If you don't want to make an effort to improve you might as well fvck off. This forum is not intended for people who don't even want to try. You're just spreading toxic negativity.

The only way to lose in life is to give up. Winners keep trying no matter how much failure they have to endure.

 

[apprenticedj]

I guess it all depends on your idea of "success". If getting layed=success then I would say 1 lay out of 100 approaches is pretty damn unsuccessful. I would be inclined to agree with you: not worth the effort. The main problem is being "outcome dependent" which is a term I've picked up from this forum. Your goal is to get laid by cold approaching women, so when you don't acheive that outcome you feel miserable, like a failure. My motto: just have fun and relax.

 

[Serenity]

The problem with telling skinnyguy to just have fun and relax is that he can't grasp the concept in his current mindset. He needs to reach the bottom to break the shell.

All skinnyguy is doing now is taking our words and make them fit into his negative reality. It serves no other purpose (from his perspective) than to prove he's right and all of us are wrong, just to make himself feel better about himself.

 

[Gray The Prince]

OP is overthinking and will never be successful unless he sheds his current mindset. Hard work pays off, nothing is just handed to you.

 

[Maximus Rex]

No it's not patheic because you're looking to do what I call "baseball numbers." If a ball player bats .300 over the course of his career, pretty much guarantees him a spot in Cooperstown with only hitting the ball 30% of the time.

As a PUA, you would be doing great if you're sucessful 20, 15, or 10 percent of the time. Say out of those 100 numbers, 2 translates into dates and 1 translate into sex and you're able to sustain that for a year, that 12 new pieces off a$$ over a 12 month period. If you told anybody on this forum he was going to f@ck 12 chicks out of 100 attempts, he'd be a damn fool not to be satisfied with those numbers. Correct me if I wrong, but isn't 12% out of 100, 12?

 

[LandingWood]

Not every woman in the world is going to be attracted to you. This may seem a bit cliche' but just being yourself works wonders. Stop trying so hard and you will succeed. That doesn't mean just "give up", by all means talk to women when you get the opportunity. Just chill and let things happen naturally. Also, just because you approach 100 women and only get 2 numbers doesn't mean its "pathetic". Any success is great.

I was the same way as you, but when I stopped trying so hard, women came to me. Thing is; sometimes when you put in so much effort, you don't pay attention to the women who are actually attracted to you. Trust me, it works.

-Gripz-

THIS should be one of the top rules in D bible. Don't try so hard.

 

[n00bPimp]

It depends on how much you want to get laid by hot girls. If you are ok with jerking off to porn every night or pulling some fat chick that you re embarrassed to be seen in public with, then yea even 1 in 10 is too much work.

Ask yourself: is it more pathetic to be comfortable but lonely and unwanted or uncomfortable but desired?

 

[evan12]

Who tell you it is one lay, may be she will become your gf or even wife in the future.
not every guy approaching women for ONS

 

[XY.]

This will help you put everything into perspective:



Look at yourself as a form of energy.

You start at 100% and When your energy is at 0% then your personality is deadpan. Approaching women takes only a small amount of energy. Approaching is seeing an attractive girl and speaking to her whether its platonic or not. After many approaches you begin to feel fatigued and jaded because your energy levels are low.


I'm all about saving energy so i live by the less is more rule. Most of the time women acknowledge your existence by looking at you at least once. If she looks at you once and then takes another glance at any given point then you should approach. It doesn't matter what you talk about as long as you touch her. If she is receptive then continue to escalate and isolate. If she shows hesitation then continue still, but if she rebukes you then eject.

It saves energy.



Screening like this increases your percentage and chances of getting the lay







P.S.

Ejecting can become addicting so be careful....

 

[corrector]

the PUA community is built on the following: approach as many women as possible, and if you get a number, your PUA has worked.

Now, I for one have never been one to use pick up lines, or gimmicks to get women. It seems that many people believe that you should just keep approaching and approaching until something hits.

But if you're approaching 100 women, and 2 of them talk to you/give their number, isn't that beyond pathetic?

But why do people buy lottery tickets and gamble then?

Let me tell you a secret. If I do a gutsy approach and fall flat on my face, and I play a lottery, I always win the lottery (usually a small prize). I think this may have to do with "quantum mechanics" or thought-vibes going in the air.

It's like you can trade your luck with women for cash. You didn't know that?

Now, you nobody said it's going to take the 100th approach go get lucky, it could be the 1st, 5th, or 56th approach. Isn't that part of the fun?

 

[Jair213]

Put some muscle on that skinny frame. Trust me you will feel much better. Go to the gym start bodybuilding. You will gain confidence and little by little you will obliterate this chump AFC mind set. Listen to the other advice also, but first things first and that that is working on your self first.

 

[Solomon]

approaching is the shyt

the PUA community is built on the following: approach as many women as possible, and if you get a number, your PUA has worked.

Now, I for one have never been one to use pick up lines, or gimmicks to get women. It seems that many people believe that you should just keep approaching and approaching until something hits.

But if you're approaching 100 women, and 2 of them talk to you/give their number, isn't that beyond pathetic?

I'm getting the sense that, if you get one lay after many many approaches, that is somehow considered successful.

If it takes THAT MUCH EFFORT just to get a lay, then call me lazy but I'd rather not bother. As many people mentioned earlier, if you have to use "game" to get women, you're already doing too much. The alpha guys don't even need to approach in order to get laid.

This thread is spoken like a guy who is a true keyboard Jockey. I have a friend right now who has a 50% close rate per night. So 1 out of 2 nigths he goes out he pulls a chick back home. I've seen him pull so many chicks the last few months it made me :crazy:

The truth is though if you're just approaching to get laid then yeah it won't be fun, you actually gotta enjoy or want to meet women and it makes it a lot easier

I rather get shot down 99 times for that one time, it's so worth it unlike jerking off or online dating, I actually use to enjoy approaches and probably have more approaches in the last 5 years then anyone on sosuave minus Snowplowman

It takes much effort

But sometimes

It's worth it

I keep telling myself

It's worth

It's friggin worth it

:rockon:

 

[Wolfgang D]

The problem with telling skinnyguy to just have fun and relax is that he can't grasp the concept in his current mindset. He needs to reach the bottom to break the shell.

All skinnyguy is doing now is taking our words and make them fit into his negative reality. It serves no other purpose (from his perspective) than to prove he's right and all of us are wrong, just to make himself feel better about himself.

Here he takes a concept, like "spin more plates", and distorts it. So it will have some truth in it and be harder to say no to.

For example: "the PUA community is built on the following: approach as many women as possible, and if you get a number, your PUA has worked."

That line is complete bullsh!t.

 

[JoshSway]

1/10 for a date on an approach is extremely good. 1/10 lay on an approach not including online dating first dates is better than almost anyone on earth. You assume approaching takes effort, most find approaching fun!

the PUA community is built on the following: approach as many women as possible, and if you get a number, your PUA has worked.

Now, I for one have never been one to use pick up lines, or gimmicks to get women. It seems that many people believe that you should just keep approaching and approaching until something hits.

But if you're approaching 100 women, and 2 of them talk to you/give their number, isn't that beyond pathetic?

I'm getting the sense that, if you get one lay after many many approaches, that is somehow considered successful.

If it takes THAT MUCH EFFORT just to get a lay, then call me lazy but I'd rather not bother. As many people mentioned earlier, if you have to use "game" to get women, you're already doing too much. The alpha guys don't even need to approach in order to get laid.

 

[corrector]

1/10 for a date on an approach is extremely good. 1/10 lay on an approach not including online dating first dates is better than almost anyone on earth. You assume approaching takes effort, most find approaching fun!

That assumption is valid. You are probably an M7 or higher on the looks scale, while the OP self-described himself as being an M3 on one of his posts. To get even those numbers you probably have to be above average on looks scale and be getting IOI's out there as well. You see the OP was talking about 1/100 that talk to you or give you their number, he never mentioned dates or getting laid. That would sound more like 1/1000 based on that math and that would be an unreasonable effort. Since you mentioned 1/10 for a date/lay it sounds like you are grossly out of touch with the OP's reality.

If you are not considered a hot guy or attractive to most girls looks wise then it's not fun at all, it's more like pulling teeth as the OP is suggesting. You are approaching women who are not attracted to you or who are not noticing you in the first place and in this case, any game you try comes across like a used car salesman.

In my personal experience, I'm probably over an M5 on the looks department (I would deduct points for my looks because I may not have charisma but may be more withdrawn and looking unsure of myself as opposed to how I actually look). Women think I'm 23 years old when I'm really 37 years old. When I did approach women randomly it's usually just to say hi to them and see if they say hi back. This was some time back. But then it felt retarded just approaching a hot girl to say hi and having no real follow-up.

I suppose, I'm also out of touch with the OP's reality - but he really meant 1:100 women to just "talk" with him, I don't think that's realistic either. You'll have women talking to you out of pity or sympathy with a possible mixture attraction with numbers that are far less than those extremes the OP is portraying. Those extreme numbers make him sound a bit like a troll or he has a negative mental fantasy about women that is simply not true.

If the OP is complaining like that, why not just go after women that appear to be lonely, or older women by themselves, and strike up a conversation. Maybe it's he's not going after lonely enough women? He should put up a journal on here and chronical once a week how many women he's approached and if he managed to get in a conversation with them so people can give him feedback.

 

[Mike32ct]

The numbers game sounds good in theory, but in the field, you have far less opportunities than you think because of the following:

1. You shouldn't "over-sarge" the venue. At a small bar, how many approaches can you realistically do before every woman there is on to your "telemarketing?" I'd say two or three MAX. In a large, multi-level club where it's dark, maybe you could possibly reach 20 approaches.

2. Many women aren't viable targets. She might be with a guy, surrounded by way too many friends, not your type, etc.

So while I support the numbers game, I will just note that you need multiple nights and/or multiple venues to make it work.

Is it worth it in the end? Sometimes it is. It depends on the length of the dry spell .

 

[JoshSway]

I am saying that 1/10 is incredibly good, not the reality of most people. Almost nobody goes 1/10. But what the OP should consider is more indirect approaches.

OP: Show value at the venue (be the life of the party w/friends etc.) and then opening becomes much easier and more successful. The biggest turn on for women is actually not looks, but power. Demonstrate power (being the center of attention etc.) vs just going up to every girl you see and using some opener.

That assumption is valid. You are probably an M7 or higher on the looks scale, while the OP self-described himself as being an M3 on one of his posts. To get even those numbers you probably have to be above average on looks scale and be getting IOI's out there as well. You see the OP was talking about 1/100 that talk to you or give you their number, he never mentioned dates or getting laid. That would sound more like 1/1000 based on that math and that would be an unreasonable effort. Since you mentioned 1/10 for a date/lay it sounds like you are grossly out of touch with the OP's reality.

If you are not considered a hot guy or attractive to most girls looks wise then it's not fun at all, it's more like pulling teeth as the OP is suggesting. You are approaching women who are not attracted to you or who are not noticing you in the first place and in this case, any game you try comes across like a used car salesman.

In my personal experience, I'm probably over an M5 on the looks department (I would deduct points for my looks because I may not have charisma but may be more withdrawn and looking unsure of myself as opposed to how I actually look). Women think I'm 23 years old when I'm really 37 years old. When I did approach women randomly it's usually just to say hi to them and see if they say hi back. This was some time back. But then it felt retarded just approaching a hot girl to say hi and having no real follow-up.

I suppose, I'm also out of touch with the OP's reality - but he really meant 1:100 women to just "talk" with him, I don't think that's realistic either. You'll have women talking to you out of pity or sympathy with a possible mixture attraction with numbers that are far less than those extremes the OP is portraying. Those extreme numbers make him sound a bit like a troll or he has a negative mental fantasy about women that is simply not true.

If the OP is complaining like that, why not just go after women that appear to be lonely, or older women by themselves, and strike up a conversation. Maybe it's he's not going after lonely enough women? He should put up a journal on here and chronical once a week how many women he's approached and if he managed to get in a conversation with them so people can give him feedback.