If you get mad at a chic for testing you do you fail?

[timmylivingalie]

If you get mad at a chic for testing you do you fail?

 

[st_99]

yes and no.

if you are mad because you feel fear or loss, inadequacy, or jealousy. then thats a fail.

if you are mad because she is annoying you, then thats not a fail.

she'll know the difference because the way you express your anger.

 

[goodfoot]

I would say you'll automatically win when you don't care about passing or failing.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Given that many on this forum write posts where they say the girl gave them a shyt test and then get barraged with replies informing them that what happened wasn't a test at all, I need to preface my post with this: assuming that what the girl did was in fact a shyt test, and we both know it, I like to do the following: I look at her and in a very calm, unemotional yet assertive voice, say: You know, I don't play games and I don't take tests, so maybe I haven't found the right girl yet..." And then you drop the subject, go silent, and let her chase and cling.

 

[evan12]

anger of powerless yes
anger of some one have the decision and boundaries hand no

 

[glass half full]

what if...

you tell her you are sick of the games, and she says "keep it up and you're gonna lose..." That actually happened once lol

 

[SoldMySoul]

Nice responses that I all agree with. One could say I failed a week ago when I was highly disrespected and expressed such. Did I fail? I don't tnink so because some tests cross the pale of normalcy. Some tests are okay, but when they do it and it is done in such a manner that crosses boundaries.....then hell no!! I will not give up my pride for no one. Most often walking away and disappearing is best, but when I have been done so poorly I have to express what I feel. Just maybe if she Is not thick skulled she will use it as a learning experience as she knows exactly why you bounced other than wondering why you departed. Hell she might not even know because previous chumps allowed her to treat them any kind of way. When we as men start not putting up with crap....women will lose the entitlement attitude. Maybe some, but not all.

 

[drak_ool]

Whenever a shyt test riles you up and you show those emotions, you've failed.

And saying "I refuse to entertain shyt tests" is naive at best. A lot of times you won't even realize it's a test, other times even the girl is barely aware of it. A lot of shyt testing is done subconsciously. I do agree though, if a girl is showing a pattern of constantly throwing them at you, then I would find that annoying as well.

 

[yuppaz]

Goal is to keep your cool to show her thay she is safe with you, even through her crazy mood swings. But that only applies if you want to put up with the flavor of **** she throws at you. If you find her attitude really sucks and don't like it / won't be bothered by it then say whatever you want back to the girl.

All **** tests are thrown out there to test your metal. Can you keep your cool or not? That is the question she is really asking...

 

[Night-hawk]

To use an NLP presupposition,'There is no failure only feedback.' So, feed her back whatever you want...reframe...and remember...**** what she thinks. Can You? If not then you are basing too much authority on her rather than playing her **** tests back to her with your authority.

 

[DonJuanabe]

"To use an NLP presupposition,'There is no failure only feedback.' So, feed her back whatever you want...reframe...and remember...**** what she thinks. Can You? If not then you are basing too much authority on her rather than playing her **** tests back to her with your authority."

1) "You know what, I'm hungry, you want a PBJ?"
2) "You know what, I'm hungry, go make me a sandwich."
3) "I love it when you lean forward while wearing a V neck sweater."
4) [Fart]
5) "Dude, the latest trailer for Iron Man 3 looks awesome - check this out."
6) "I smell something - did you just fart?"
7) "I think you have something in your teeth."
8) "Come here, Mr. Happy wants you to sit on my lap."

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Tests can be unconscious attempts on her part to "rattle you" in order to see how you'd respond. Kind of like some hiker testing a bridge he's about to cross. Just like you'd hope the bridge is strong enough, she'll hope the dude is strong enough.

Guys can see right away if girls are satisfactory, from a DNA perspective, with girls, it ain't so easy. So they test us to see how strong we are. They are genetically programmed to do so, and in most cases don't really have any idea what they're doing.

In these cases, the best thing is to simply "out frame." Which means just let whatever happened roll off your back.

Put whatever behavior you think is disrespectful, or whatever, and the same behavior coming from a 5 y/o. Would you get mad if a 5 y/o dissed you?

The other kind of test is when she's how much she can get away with without crossing any boundaries. It's similar to the first kind, but it's different in that she's kind of trying to get something for nothing, either up front, or trying to push your buttons because she didn't get what she wanted.

Either way, ANY anger is counterproductive.

The BEST thing to do is just ignore it, and carry on with whatever you're doing.

Girls aren't put on earth to give you respect, or show you what an alpha boss you are, or stroke your ego, or make you look good.

Most problems with chicks stem from the fact that most dudes never really grow up to a reasonable level of maturity and self-responsibility. At least in some part, guys see girlfriends/wives as a replacement MOMMY on some level. MOMMY who is supposed to show him love, kindness and respect BECAUSE IT'S HER JOB. Because of who he is, and not how he behaves.

You're girl ain't MOMMY. She's just a normal chic who'd dump you if she could get something better if she wouldn't get into trouble.