If you don't have a girlfriend, read this (if you do, read it anyway)

[disciple]

This is the first time I've posted in a long time. I've been busy out in the real world dealing with real world sh*t.

Life can be great but it can also be real f*cked up too. Life is kinda like meeting a beautiful woman but she has a yeast infection.

Anyway, I have five points that will help alot of guys on this forum, especially the young ones just starting out in the game.

Without further rambling on my part, here they are:


1. WHY BEING SINGLE IS GOOD

I know some of you are reading this and wondering how could being single be a good thing when many of you are on this site to learn how to get a girlfriend.

It's taken me alot of years to finally appreciate the benefits of being single. The problem with most guys is that they equate single with being lonely or with lacking something that other people have. This makes them feel sh*tty.

As of this post, I am currently unattached to any woman right now and I am quite happy. I look at myself as a free agent like in sports. I am not under contract to anyone. I am free to do what I wish with whomever I wish.

I can go bang 3 or 4 hot chicks tonite and not have to answer to anyone or worry about some woman finding out and etc., etc.

That represents power, independence, and peace of mind.

Three things that you can't put a price tag on.

Also, three things that are attractive qualities to a woman.

It is ironic how most of the times I've wound up in a relationship, I wasn't looking for one. I was just busy "being" and not "doing" or "trying".

I was just out looking for fun, excitement, and some sex. Usually a relationship with some girl I just met wasn't even on my mind.

The girl was attracted to my independence, fun loving personality, energy, and the fact that because my vibe with her was so easy flowing that she felt relaxed and not pressured and just caught my vibe and we were vibing together.

What did those qualities that I had that she was attracted to come from? Did it come from my being a fun loving independent man or being some guy approaching her like I needed or wanted something from her? Think about it.

2. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Now that you see the true power of being single, let's talk for a second about relationships.

First of all, relationships have certain benefits like steady p*ssy, someone to hang out with, someone to remember your birthday and all of that crap.

But if you think that finding a girlfriend is going to magically change your life and suddenly everything in your life is going to be all roses, think again.

If you aren't happy while your single, trust me, getting a girlfriend will not make you happy.

It'll help some problems (like sex) but it will also bring new problems you didn't have when you were single plus you'll still have whatever problems you had before you met her.

3. LEARN TO ENJOY THE RIDE

Many of us men put too much pressure on ourselves to have a girlfriend or a relationship.

We compare ourselves to our friends or other people we see.

All you have to do is absorb this simple truth and you'll never again feel bad about not having a girlfriend or being in a relationship.

What is this truth?

The truth is that probably 95% or so of the women you may meet and have sex with ARE NOT long-term relationship material.

All of us are looking for sex of course but if we are honest with ourselves, many of us look at every girl we see that we are attracted to as a potential girlfriend.

This is bad because as I have stated above, the reality is that most of the women you meet are not long-term relationship material. They are short-term relationship material.

It is much easier in this world to find some quick p*ssy than it is to find someone you want to spend years with.

If you don't believe me, look at the divorce rate in this country. It is over 50% now.

That's not even taking into account how often people get into and out of relationships on a boyfriend-girlfriend level.

Because of the fact that most women you encounter are only going to be good for short term fun, if you approach them seeking something long-term in your mind, you are setting yourself up for some serious problems.

The ironic thing is (as given by my own example) that the same qualities (independence, fun loving personality, positive easy flowing vibe, etc.) that allow you to enjoy the single life are the same ones that a woman will find attractive for short term sex and possibly a relationship.

So the bottom line is that, even if all you look for is sex and fun, you'll still get plenty of women that will want more than just sex with you and at least some of them would be good potential long-term partners.

But if you go in looking for more than just sex, about 95% of the time you will be disappointed and usually not only end up without a girlfriend but usually you'll go home without having gotten any p*ssy either.

So in other words, by looking for sex and not relationships, you are actually increasing your chances of finding both.

So this brings us to another question. What are some of the problems with looking at most women you are attracted to as possible girlfriends?

As stated above, most of these women are a waste of time to f*ck with on a relationship level and also when you're looking for a relationship with a girl you just met, you put yourself in a position of wanting or needing something from her (approval seeking anyone?).

You also start to wonder how much she really likes you and you may start to focus too much of your time and energy on her and start to forget about other women (oneitis anyone?)

Not to mention the fact that if she really isn't long-term material, you will wind up hurt, disappointed, angry, and confused.

All because you didn't understand the game.

Bottomline, go out meet women and enjoy the ride. If the only good thing that comes out of it is that you got some p*ssy, be content with that.

Trust me, if the only thing you get out of an encounter with some chick is you got to shoot your love juice all over her tits and azz, that's not the worst thing in the world.

 

[disciple]

4. THE HARMONY OF OPPOSITES

I'm going to try to explain this point quickly and without sounding like some philosopher and sh*t.

According to ancient Egyptian and Taoist thought, the universe is composed of polar opposites such as light and dark, up and down, smart and stupid, etc.

The Yin-Yang theory (in Taoism and many martial arts) is based on this.

Instead of these opposites being opposed to one another, they actually compliment one another and one would not exist without its opposite.

Together, they actually form a complete whole and represent two halves of the same circle.

Okay, enough philosophy.

I'm starting to sound like some old fart with a long beard living with two goats on a mountain.

The point of this sh*t is that everything has its opposite that compliments and completes it.

Now what the f*ck does any of this crap have to do with chicks?

Actually alot.

People tend to be attracted to their polar opposite.

A thug, bad boy, jerk, player, tough guy, athlete, rock star, etc. represents the epitome of masculinity.

A very attractive or sexy woman represents the epitome of femininity.

High level masculinity and high level feminity are polar opposites.

Instead of clashing, they actually complete each other's circle and complement each other.

This is why really hot chicks usually are attracted to men who fall in the high level masculinity category and men who are lower on the masculinity scale aren't as attractive to them.

There are others who have spoken on subjects similar to this already so I won't go too much further into this point except to say that if you really want to f*ck or date a high level femininity woman then it helps to be a high masculinity man.

I'm not saying you have to be a stereotypical thug, bad boy, jerk, or you have to join a band or take up a sport but in your own way you have to find ways to increase you own masculinity if this is the category of woman you seek.

Being that masculinity is tied into your testosterone (and I'm not going to go into testosterone as this subject has already been covered many times on this forum) doing things like sports (competitiveness), exercise (especially strength training), or taking on new challenges and succeeding can only help in this area.

That being said, it brings me to my last point.


5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?


The truth is that most of us think we know what we want or we have some vague idea of what we think would make us happy, but do we really know?

Much of what we think would make us happy doesn't even come from us it comes from ideas that we get from other people who in turn don't really know what makes them happy any more than we do.

For example, if you search yourself and honestly realize that you enjoy f*cking different women on a regular basis and are having alot of fun, then that is okay.

Don't let anyone else tell you it is wrong or you should have one girl or get married if that is not what brings you pleasure at this time.

Of course you should use common sense and good judgement while having your fun (pregnancies, diseases, child support payments, etc. can destroy your fun real quick.)

Conversely, if you find that you enjoy being in a relationship with one woman whom you consider to be worthy of it, that is cool too.

Ironically, if you just look to enjoy some sex and fun, there are plenty of women out there who will try to lock you down in the boyfriend role.

It's up to use to use your judgement to determine which ones you should allow to "catch" you and which ones you should just keep it on a fun level with.

One more word of advice.

Keep in mind that just as 95% or so of women are not long-term relationship material, for a woman, most of the men she may consider having sex with aren't necessarily men she would consider have a long-term relationship with.

In other words, alot of women will f*ck you and have fun with you but aren't looking for anything more than that.

Keep that in mind so you don't set yourself up to get your heart ripped in two pieces by some girl who you thought was the "one".

So it goes both ways with men and women.

That being said, it is time for me to return to the real world and learn some more sh*t to share with everyone.

Until the next time I feel like rambling on about some sh*t, good luck and may all of the women you meet have a sexy twin sister who just happens to have a fetish for threesomes.

 

[beyonder]

High level masculinity and high level feminity are polar opposites.

Instead of clashing, they actually complete each other's circle and complement each other.

found out about this recently myself . every guy should know this ..I mean who actually prefers girls with low feminity and beauty?

 

[flippinfreak]

found out about this recently myself . every guy should know this ..I mean who actually prefers girls with low feminity and beauty?

I agree it is a GREAT post, more and more are popping up these days. Maybe it's because spring is in the air and the women are plentiful and wearing fewer and fewr clothes everyday

Hypothetical question... think feminine guys would get turned on by a manly woman?

 

[Hawke]

So what does that say about the girls who are attracted to guys who give off a more feminine vibe? And that those girls themselves are pretty feminine.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Nail on the head my friend. Nail on the head.

Well done.

 

[DarkLight]

Good Post Man.

The everyday wisdom that peeps need to breathe'

 

[disciple]

I'd like to answer a couple of questions that I see have popped up. Also,
thanks KillaPetehog for the Welcome Back. Much appreciated my friend.

flippinfreak asked, "Would feminine guys get turned on by a manly woman?"
In some of my old posts, I once spoke about dominance and submissiveness.

Dominance is generally considered to be a masculine characteristic and submissiveness is usually associated with the feminine.

Going by this, a feminine guy (a submissive male, not a gay man) could very well find his polar opposite in a manly woman (dominant woman, not a lesbian).

That TV show "Everybody loves Raymond" is a perfect example of this type of relationship.

If you ever watch that show, you will see that his wilfe has the real balls in the relationship and usually Raymond always winds up bending to her will and acting apologetic for something he did etc., etc.,

Dominant woman, submissive man

Hawke asked about feminine women who are attracted to feminine guys.

The answer to this question is a little bit more complex because there are a couple of possible reasons how this could come about.

One way is the Dominance/Submissive thing that I spoke of while answering the first question.

Keep in mind that a woman can be Dominant in terms of her relationships with men and still be feminine by society's definition of femininity.

The other possible reason is that the woman could have psychological issues that influence her choices of men.

For example, she could have had some bad experiences dealing with more masculine, dominant men and she feels that a relationship with a man who is less threatening and easier to control is what she needs.

But even this takes us back to Dominance and Submissiveness.

It is true that some women feel the need to be the one "calling the shots" in the relationship because of their own insecurities about letting someone else take the lead role.

This is more often than not the result of some psychological issues or emotional baggage from her past and could be a result of anything from bad relationships to having issues with her father or some other early male figures in her life or whatever.

This reminds me of an old post I had about the Battle of the Sexes and the fact that in nature, in a relationship between a male and a female, one of them will emerge as the leader.

I guarantee you that if a feminine woman is attracted to a feminine man, I'll bet in virtually every case he is the one bending over backwards to please her and probably letting her choose everything they do or how things are going to go.

This indicates that in this type of relationship, it is usually the result of a woman who wants to take on the masculine dominant role of the man and be the one to "wear the pants" in the relationship.

 

[Suckaazzclown]

This here...is true. Great post Disciple. Keepin' it real.

 

[Permission]

Now this is a great post! :rockon:

 

[ADifferentKindofDJ]

Great post! Thanks disciple for your words of wisdom and sharing of your experiences.

ADKdj

 

[I love Hyori Lee]

Words of knowledge. Words of experience. Great post.

Adding Rep +1.

 

[42-Colrath]

great post man

 

[mrRuckus]

I'm dominant when it advantages me.

I'm submissive when it advantages me.

What's that make me? Who do I go out with?

 

[disciple]

Reply from mrRuckus

I'm dominant when it advantages me.
I'm submissive when it advantages me.
What's that make me? Who do I go out with?


Being dominant doesn't mean that you have to be in the dominant position at all times.

There are times and situations when it is okay to let the woman be in the more assertive position.

For example, what if you have a girl that jumps your bones, unzips your pants, pulls your d*ck out and blows you like she hasn't seen a c*ck in a year?

Now you could physically or verbally stop her at anytime but it is fun to let a woman "have her way" with you if the attraction is mutual.

By the way, I've experienced the above situation and it is alot of fun sometimes to let the woman "drive" every now and then.

Out of curiousity, which situations or times are you dominant and which times do you choose to be submissive and in what way does each benefit you at that time?

 

[Sapiens]

Superb post!

Save me a goat will you. LOL

-Sapiens

 

[MightyMate]

Beeing single is good but only for some time. I loved beeing singled while i was 19 21 23. Later on i decided i had enaugh fun and now should try to do something serious. And here i am.
Single is good fun but You cant have fun all the time. And when You have problems in life, You start noticing that beeing alone is not so good..

 

[Bvbidd]

So what does that say about the girls who are attracted to guys who give off a more feminine vibe? And that those girls themselves are pretty feminine.

They can't answer you because they are full of ****.

I see more feminine girls being attracted to more feminine guys too.

 

[I love Hyori Lee]

They can't answer you because they are full of ****.

I see more feminine girls being attracted to more feminine guys too.

Bvbidd, I absolutely disagree with you on this one.
Women do not go for feminine guys.

I think if they did, nice guys would be the ones getting laid and jerks would be the ones standing in the rain.

There's something about bad boys, jerks, players, thugs, athletes, rockstars, etc. that women find attractive.

It's because of masculinity.

And an extremely feminine girl goes for men with masculinity.

If you disagree with this, you're on the wrong forum.

Go to this one instead.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/index.php

Because that forum is a forum made for feminine men and for stupid women.