If you don´t approach women you should be dead

JdelaSilviera

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Well not quite :) of course the title is to get your attention.

For me the following reasoning is what helped me the most, and made me start approaching and advancing with women. Although this doesn´t kill your approach anxiety will force you into action.

Although I hate PUA vocabulary, there are the Alphas, the Betas, and the Omega males. I will focus on the latter, that always makes me laugh when mentioned on the chateau heartiste. This is the kind of guy that does nothing really with women, or that gets blown even by the fatties.

You don´t want to be that guy, the guy that to keep his ego, is not going to approach women because of fear of rejection. That´s just being a great loser. You don´t want to be the guy who passes life without tasting several HB10, just to be in comfort. Or the guy who will get married with the first girlfriend he gets after college, because he is too afraid he never gets any women again.

Guys who don´t do anything to get women are losers. And are even worse than those who are getting rejected.

It´s part of men nature to fail, of course, we are men, so we must fight in everything in life. So every guy will fail, in several areas of his life, and many times.
 

Dedication

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On a related note, I noticed something. For me, not approaching the women that I want to meet feels like I'm rejecting myself. As if I tell myself that I'm not good enough.

My intentions are to get to know her and see if she fits the type of girl I want to **** (or make my GF.)
My actions are letting her walk past me.

The ****? Of course I feel miserable about myself. I WANT to talk to her yet I let that oppertunity let me pass by. In essence: I'm judging myself as not good enough. And that makes me feel miserable.

I do not own my own emotions, but I do own my own actions. Following through to my intentions really pumps up my emotions. Not following through makes me feel like a piece of ****, as it should.

**On a broad scale, this goes for every area in my life. Doing the things that I actually want to do makes me happy. Letting that pass me by, makes me feel like a piece of ****.**
 

JdelaSilviera

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Dedication said:
On a related note, I noticed something. For me, not approaching the women that I want to meet feels like I'm rejecting myself. As if I tell myself that I'm not good enough.
Exactly, you just put it brilliantly.
 

PlayHer Man

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JdelaSilviera said:
Guys who don´t do anything to get what they want are losers. And are even worse than those who are getting rejected.

It´s part of men nature to fail, of course, we are men, so we must fight in everything in life. So every guy will fail, in several areas of his life, and many times.
There.. I fixed that sentence for you.

Don't pedestalize the female. Men who sit on their ass and complain about not getting things they are not willing to work for are losers. Guys who don't constantly chase p*ssy are not losers.
 

JdelaSilviera

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PlayHer Man said:
There.. I fixed that sentence for you.

Don't pedestalize the female. Men who sit on their ass and complain about not getting things they are not willing to work for are losers. Guys who don't constantly chase p*ssy are not losers.
Agreed. But I think I didn´t imply that you should pedestalize them or to constantly chase women. Most men want a woman in their lives, and many want many women, but don´t do nothing about it...
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

corrector

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JdelaSilviera said:
Well not quite :) of course the title is to get your attention.

For me the following reasoning is what helped me the most, and made me start approaching and advancing with women. Although this doesn´t kill your approach anxiety will force you into action.
Okay, so your style is cold approaches to people you do not know? I'm assuming you are not talking about social circles, social proof, online dating, etc....

JdelsSilvera said:
Although I hate PUA vocabulary, there are the Alphas, the Betas, and the Omega males. I will focus on the latter, that always makes me laugh when mentioned on the chateau heartiste. This is the kind of guy that does nothing really with women, or that gets blown even by the fatties.
So, you are saying you were an omega male before something "clicked" in your mind and you started approaching women? How did you start approaching them? Did you use pick-up lines? Did you wave at them?

Jdelsilvera said:
You don´t want to be that guy, the guy that to keep his ego, is not going to approach women because of fear of rejection. That´s just being a great loser. You don´t want to be the guy who passes life without tasting several HB10, just to be in comfort. Or the guy who will get married with the first girlfriend he gets after college, because he is too afraid he never gets any women again.
So, how do you translate cold-approaches to advancing with women the way you are portraying here? You can only attract an hb10 in cold-approaches if you are hot yourself. You are saying there is some "magic" in just doing random approaches itself? Tell us more.

Jdeliseveria said:
Guys who don´t do anything to get women are losers. And are even worse than those who are getting rejected.

It´s part of men nature to fail, of course, we are men, so we must fight in everything in life. So every guy will fail, in several areas of his life, and many times.
You mean that guys who do not do anything to get women are simply burned out from being rejected, or seeing a relationship that doesn't work out end badly. Isn't approaching a form of panicing? LIke, you are getting desperate, starting to freak-out, then you start approaching for dear life? Won't women smell desperation?
 

DonGorgon

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lol.... rejection is extremely depressing for most men especially for males who get rejected alot.. different folks have different coping capacities and eventually have to make decisions in live to alleviate frustration and anger that can lead to depression

i very seldom approach because my city atlanta is full of pretentious gold digger and prostitutes and women who dont like dark skin.. so i have to wait for a females to give me a signal that she is attracted ... I do okay but not as good as i would like but luckily i have to fine young ladies who are in love and provide me with all i want and need.. if i didn't have them i would be in trouble cause my new lays dont come easy
 

JdelaSilviera

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Hi,
I don´t get if you really want my answers, or if you just want to "correct" me. I´ll assume the former.

I´m not english, and stopped having english lessons a while, so my style of writting is not that rigorous, sorry. I said approaching and advancing, but I´m not restraining to cold approach, I also mean social circle game. This is meant for guys who don´t approach a hottie in the club, and then go kicking themselves the way home for not doing it, or for those who hang timelessly as a friend of certain girl without making a move.

Most guys don´t make a move, because they don´t want the ego hurt, and that doesn´t make sense for several reasons... the girl doesn´t decide your value (for good or bad), and in the long run your inaction will harm you a lot more.
Guys use all sort of mental tricks to approach, and for me it was not wanting to act the same way omegas do. It´s just a mental trick. And sure none of us should want to be in the same team as them. Although I never was an omega myself.

To get HB10s you can do all sorts of things, my approach is ****y and funny, although you must be social calibrated to do that. For some you need to be Hot, for others you don´t. That´s why it helps a good skin and hair care, and bodybuilding, it is all "homo" but gets you laid so who the fvck cares.

Approaching (once again, i don´t mean just cold approaching) is a way of getting your goals, only if you make it a question of life and death you are panicing and being desperate. I know several guys, who simply don´t try anything because they are afraid to be rejected, and they have a zero past of negative experiences, because they never tried! How ridiculous is that.

Guys who got burned in a relationship, should also be smart and understand that even if they had already 20 girlfriends which most haven´t, and even if they were ****ty girlfriends, bad persons, who cheated on them, they are not a representative amount of the 3000 million women on the planet.

But the point of the thread, is that you are not a loser for getting rejected, but for not even trying.


corrector said:
Okay, so your style is cold approaches to people you do not know? I'm assuming you are not talking about social circles, social proof, online dating, etc....



So, you are saying you were an omega male before something "clicked" in your mind and you started approaching women? How did you start approaching them? Did you use pick-up lines? Did you wave at them?



So, how do you translate cold-approaches to advancing with women the way you are portraying here? You can only attract an hb10 in cold-approaches if you are hot yourself. You are saying there is some "magic" in just doing random approaches itself? Tell us more.



You mean that guys who do not do anything to get women are simply burned out from being rejected, or seeing a relationship that doesn't work out end badly. Isn't approaching a form of panicing? LIke, you are getting desperate, starting to freak-out, then you start approaching for dear life? Won't women smell desperation?
 

corrector

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JdelaSilviera said:
Hi,
Most guys don´t make a move, because they don´t want the ego hurt, and that doesn´t make sense for several reasons... the girl doesn´t decide your value (for good or bad), and in the long run your inaction will harm you a lot more.
The girl first decides your value based on your looks and if you are their preference of what they are looking for. If a girl decides that you are valueable to them, then they will give IOI's, AI's, or even approach themselves, which would mean making a move would be effortless. If you get IOI, AI, reciprocity, then you won't be risking your ego.

So this advice only works if you have "something" in the first place rather than coming from a place of "nothing" which could lead to a false impression. Most guys if they have "something" intuitively will make a move. If they have a blind-spot, then yeah, I get this.

Otherwise, if you get meagre results after doing allot of effort, and you see other guys effortless geting the same thing with no effort then that in itself is not going to be very motivating. Would you pay $ 1000 for a suit that another guy can buy for $ 10.00 because you really love that suite and say you put your ego aside and buy that suite and pay that money or you'll be worst than a guy that didn't pay $ 1000 for the suite and has no suite at all (depsite other guys buy it for $10.00?)? Let's face it, it's feast or famine. Either you have an easy time in this, or it is pulling teeth.

Just like online dating. Either you have an easy time and get loads of chicks messaging you, or it's an ego-destructive experience when you send 50 emails out and can't get a single date. Now, you may say getting rejected is better than the guy who did nothing. However, when they are other guys that get chicks effortlessly and have dates lined up, then that doesn't make it seem very motivating to try that out as it's just too draining - along with approaching.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

floydb25

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Word... but don't go for obvious low-interest girls, or hang around longer than you are wanted. It should still be pretty mutual.

Even as a guy who never had to approach due to innate good looks, I still would recommend approaching yourself. Because, just like with guys, the girls who approach the most are the players, bishes, sluts, and crazies.

I used to be a real passive, tag-along, submissive, fairweather, low self-esteem, approval-seeking guy. All of my (fake) friends who stormed into my life were *******s and losers - and so were the girls I hooked up with. I didn't assert myself or set boundaries, and just followed everyone else with their lives & friends. Naturally, they were all assertive, aggressive, and dominant (and *******s).

Gotta man up, and take control of your own life. Learn to lead, approach, invite the people YOU want into your life, weed out the trash, etc. Or prepare to get used and played by all the predators who approach you.
 

Jack89

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@dongorgan your not the first person I've heard the Atlanta girls vs black skin thing from, just curious why is that? And would you say a sloppy looking white guy would be picked over a decent looking in shape black guy? I want to get an idea of how bad it is since ill be visiting a friend there.
 

DonGorgon

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Jack89 said:
@dongorgan your not the first person I've heard the Atlanta girls vs black skin thing from, just curious why is that? And would you say a sloppy looking white guy would be picked over a decent looking in shape black guy? I want to get an idea of how bad it is since ill be visiting a friend there.
well Atlanta is based on prostitution most females here are for sale and most men here are trick / johns sooo its logical that white guys have more jobs and more money so most of these would gravitate to them assuming they will get payed more also the blacks here have alot of self hate and dont like dark skin so they also chose whites to look cool and have light babies
 
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