big dizzle,
Read part of this thread, but couldn't get through it all. i got the gist of it though. It's amazing that this girl broke it off with you and she wants to now get together with you again. I was in the same position. This girl was obviously totally into me, then out of the blue, she pushed me away and broke it off. Then, after breaking it off, she came back, then broke it off again. Screws with your head, this kind of stuff, and even more for me, since this girl was supposed to be my "safe" one, the one that wasn't supposed to be whacko. Definitely wrong about that one. Anyways, I've tried to get in contact with her a few times, just as a "hello", nothing big, not trying to get back with her, we just agreed to be friends, because she wasn't ready to get into a relationship with anyone.
Anyways, long story short, I'm not in contact with her anymore nor have I tried to get in touch with her. Perhaps years down the line, maybe I will, but not anytime soon.
In your case, however, she seems to like you, but maybe she's afraid of getting hurt. I know I never understood that until I went through it myself. You start to get a little paranoid and you don't trust anyone, and when things start getting good, you run because it's easier just to not have to deal with the possibility of breaking up. It's scary for people, and this is true for both girls and guys, to sort of face the reality that you might be with someone for the rest of your life. The indecisiveness of women make them feel that they don't want to make any mistakes in something like that, and it's so important to them, that it sort of raises the stakes. Some girls freak out, and the slightest problem will cause her to totally doubt the situation. I guess you have to learn to not blame her for her actions, but just realize that there are plenty of people who may react the same way, whether it be male or female.
I feel that men and women can't ever really be "friends". There is always sexual tension, and even more so for an ex, unless you're the one that broke it off with her. The one that broke it off doesn't usually feel remorse, unless it was really that good to begin with. The exception to me in your case would be if you sort of just became numb to women (like me right now) and sort of just didn't care how hot they were, you just don't want to get involved with anyone. Then you can easily be friends with them (but be careful, this is also a double-edged sword, because they may become interested in you, and if you're all cold fish about it, they may hold that against you because it sort of comes off as you don't give a crap about them (in a NEGATIVE way, not in the positive teasing, C&F way).
Well, enough for now. Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I'd say don't get together with her unless you can do so without the feelings. I don't think at this point you're ready for that, and you have to be careful not to let her break your heart again.