If you are socially inept or introverted, use canned lines

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Psychologists have determined that most people are either born extroverted or introverted. Often times when an introverted person speaks a lot, it is socially awkward. Talking is not in their nature so it always comes across as being forced and non-interesting.

A lot of you will think you're not socially awkward, but if you weren't, why are you visiting this website so much? It's because you're not socially that great. Your skills are lacking, that's why you're not going out with an HB9 and someone else is.

If you date a girl, then what's going to happen is you're going to have dinner with her sooner rather than later. It's going to happen. A dinner will make you go face to face with a girl for up to 90 minutes. If you have nothing to say except for boring un-interesting stories and generic questions, then she won't be interested in you. A boring personality to her is the equivalent of an ugly girl to you--must be avoided at all costs. Have you ever been on a date where you sit there face to face with a girl and it just becomes awkward and/or boring?

So what you do is to use speed seduction, by gurus such as Ross Jeffries (who incedentally came up with most of the acronyms of this website). This means you should memorize scripts to make her think you're interesting. And you should also memorize questions so that you will make her feel emotionally connected with you. There's nothing wrong with memorizing canned lines. All the greatest stand up comics do it. It really shouldn't be called "Improv" because it's not. 90% of routines from a comedy club or politicians delivering a speech have memorized scripts. People will still laugh in comedy clubs and people will still vote in a president. All you have to do is think of the material you're going to say, and rehearse it, and visualize it, and get prepared for meeting the girl.

Some people may criticize by saying it's not congruent with who you are. So what you should do is make the stories congruent with what you would do. For example, if you make up a story of climbing Mt. Everest, imagine yourself there and what you would actually do to lend the story credibility. Most people exxagerate and lie a bit anyway. If you've been talking to any good storyteller, one thing you notice is the "artistic liscence" they have to make the story more interesting than it actually is. By giving scripted lines, you will have jokes to make her laugh and dialogue to make her feel connected with you, otherwise you will be stuck being socially inept.

 

[Fender]

Dude, I don't know what you think introverts are, but the term simply describes someone that "is energised by their internal world (ie. themselves)."

Introverts AREN'T social re-tards/jects. I know loads of introverts who have good social skills not because they talk a lot, but they are good listeners. They are geniunely interested in the other person and listen with 100% dedication.

Learning canned lines and scripts, it can actually make your social skills WORST and make you feel UNNATURAL. Plus, theres only so much you can remeber. Eventually, the girl will figure out who you really are.

Of course, this only applies to LTR's. If you wanna one nighter, then feel free to use canned routines and patterns. Just know that she really isn't f*cking YOU, she's f*cking your routines.

 

[Jariel]

Psychologists have determined that most people are either born extroverted or introverted.

Really? That's clearly not true. I used to be an introvert and now I'm more of an extrovert. Same goes for a lot of people.

Accepting that you're born a certain way is a defeatist attitude in general. People can change and become above average, superior human beings. It just takes effort, practice and discipline.

Bill Gates wasn't born a multi-billionaire. Vin Diesel wasn't born a bulked up action hero and Einstein wasn't born with the theory of relativity in his head.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Jariel
Really? That's clearly not true. I used to be an introvert and now I'm more of an extrovert. Same goes for a lot of people.

Accepting that you're born a certain way is a defeatist attitude in general. People can change and become above average, superior human beings. It just takes effort, practice and discipline.

Bill Gates wasn't born a multi-billionaire. Vin Diesel wasn't born a bulked up action hero and Einstein wasn't born with the theory of relativity in his head.

Couldn't have said it any better...

 

[Spirit Fingers]

Bad Tip

This is a very bad tip. If you're introverted and can't think of good spontaneous conversation, the last thing you want to do is use canned lines.

You must develop good vibing skills *before* you use any canned material. People aren't permanently introverted or extroverted -- it can change. In order to develop good spontaneity, you have to put yourself in situations that demand spontaneous conversation over and over. Yes, it will be awkward, but eventually you will begin to strengthen your vibing skills and become more interesting.

If you use canned material, you will cripple your vibing skills. You'll never learn to have a real conversation, which in the end will make all your canned material useless. You can't memorize a routine for every situation, and eventually you're going to run out of material. When you do, you'll look very incongruent -- the girl will sense it, and you'll come off as weird.

Only use canned material AFTER you've mastered spontaneous conversation.

-Dan

 

[wolfie]

People assume extroverts are outgoing, social people who achieve the greatest social success. This is not the formal definition.

"While most people view being either introverted or extroverted as a question with only two answers, the reality is that this is probably more of a scale, with people falling on both ends and in between. The term ambivert was coined to denote people who fall more or less directly in the middle and exhibit tendencies of both groups. An ambivert is normally comfortable with groups and enjoys social interaction, but also relishes time alone and away from the crowd. Ambiverts tend to be moderate thinkers and weigh more than one side to an issue. Most have warm but controlled personalities."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extrovert

What you DON'T want to become is the extrovert who is desperate for attention and cannot function without the presence and energy/attention of other people.

 

[Duke]

There's no way being introverted or extraverted is based just on genetics. I've swung on both sides of the pendulum in my life. I started out as an extreme extrovert as a kid, then I got chubby and became extremely introverted, and now I'm back to finding a balance.

Never heard of an "ambivert" before, but to be honest, I think all the labels a getting a bit ridiculous. People are not static objects, they are fluid and ever-changing. The labels we give people today may hold no water tomorrow.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

I've never heard of an ambivert either. And I guess you can talk more if you're introverted. But haven't you noticed that some people just love to talk, like it is their second nature? Extroverts enjoy talking all the time, introverts like to think of what they're going to say in their head before speaking.

"Only use canned material AFTER you've mastered spontaneous conversation."

hmm, interesting.

 

[wolfie]

Being ambiverted just means you aren't tilted towards either extreme of being extroverted or introverted. It's more of a sliding scale. It's not just one or the other, it's a sliding scale - much like homosexuality. (as put forward by Alfred Kinsey)

 

[dice]

psychocybernetics elaborates on this. You absolutely can go from introvert to extrovert through practice of "disinhibition", which is basically blabbing ur head off until you get used to it and learning what works from trial and error, and then finding the balance in between.

some tips:

- speak without thinking, act before you think, it will all be natural eventually

- make a habit of speaking louder to energize yourself