if you are getting Low Interest or have been LJBF'ed, this is for you

[backbreaker]

I have seen alot more posts reffering to girls that they are gaming, but the girls either have a low interest in them or they end up in the friend zone with them, or even worse, a girl they have known for a while that they are interested in (probably the reason why they are into this site).

What's even worse, is that there is alot of faluse advice that is given to these people.


If you have been LJBF'ed by a woman, the ODDS are in your favor that you need to just move on. Not becasue it's hard, because DJ's don't back away from anything hard, but because you ahve better things to do with your valubale time... I mean, you are being a DJ, so you hardly have time for the girls that are interested, nevertheless the ones that aren't playing on your terms, right?


.... right? :trouble:


But what I want to talk about is something that Senor Fingers hit upon that I do'nt think alot of people have taken the time to read.


Let me give you a story. When I was in 8th grade, there was this girl named Ashlee, who rode my bus home. She was cute, not fine, but cute, about a 6 out of 10, not ugly by any means... She didn't know how to wear makeup, had braces, never had her hair done, wore tacky clothes, but even with all of that, she wasn 't bad looking.

The thing is, she had a crush on me, and I wouldn't give her the time of day. Her friends would try to hook her up with me (she was in the 7th grade at this time) and I wouldn't go for it.


A funny thing happened the next school year..

I didn't ride the bus to school because I woke up late, but after basketball practice, I got on the bus and noticed this drop dead georgous girl, long hair, makeup done just right, had a skirt on and had nice legs and pretty feet (I can't date a girl with ugly feet)... and I asked Tiffiany, another girl who rode the bus, who that "new girl" was that just walked on the bus, she is hot. She said "silly that's Ashlee".

I went up there and had a look for myself and I'll be damned it was her.

She went from a 6-6.5 to an easy 8-8.5 in 2 and a half months.

We FINALLY exchanged numbers, even though at the time she was dating one of my not to close friends (he asked her out 30 mintues earlier) and she eventually broke up with him and me and her dated for a while, and are "cool", I wouldn't say friends, she eventually left me to get back with him, to this day. (She is actually in School at Duke now, was the ONLY girl I ever dated that I could honestly say that MIGHT have been smarter than me)

I went from Ignoring her at the beginning of June, to litaerly begging her to date me (of course my pre DJ Days, I was just 14)...


Now I am sure you are saying, hey that's a great story, but what does that have to do with this hot chick that calls me to tell me how she got gangbanged over the weekend?


VERY, VERY Simple.


The key to changing a Friend into a potential partner is completely changing the way they perceive you

It has nothing to do with ignoring her calls, It has nothing to do with Social Proof, it has nothing to do with being ****y or Funny around them...

My best friend Brad has a bad habit of not coming around for weeks/months at a time in the pursuit of pxssy. I call him and tell him to bring his ass over my house so we can kick it, I don't want to **** him... He is my friend and I want to keep in contact.

Same thing when you are LJBF'ed... See the problem is guys don't see it as such, but women actually do see you as a friend... maybe not as much as their other girl friends, but a friend nevertheless, and you do want to talk to your friends, but it's VERY hard to make a woman say "damn, I have never felt like this before, but I have this urge to rip off my friends clothes and have my way with him"


I'm not going to give any pointers; I am going to tell another story, a more recent one about myself that many people here may be familiar with.



Well there’s my friend Kim. I originally met her when I was 13 at a summer camp called Upward bound, where I proceeded to tell my best friend, who happened to be Brad then as well, that she was the hottest girl I had ever seen (ironically enough that same summer, Ashlee used to call my pager... long time ago huh to try to get me to talk to her, don't know how she got my pager number but of course I avoided her because she wasn't on "my standards" but back to the story")


Of course I never got the nerve to tell her how hot she was.


Now fast forward to when I was 17, I was a computer tech at best buy and I had just gotten out of this relationship, my 2nd longest to date with this girl who cheated on me (my fault, for some reason, I liked her, but I didn'tl ike her in a sexual manner, couldn't bring myself to have sex with her).

Now There’s Cindy. She started working there around the same time me and Alison broke up. More and more I noticed that she was like a Nat that I couldn't get rid off, I mean, every time I turned around, she would be there, just BAM! in my face.

So one day Cindy asks for my phone number and I give it to her, and at the time, dating her let alone ****ing her was the last thing o my mind, I was still Heartbroken :crackup: over Alison. Well, that same night I gave her my number, Cindy called me and asked could she come and kick it with me. Me being a Nieve kid said sure, and I was actually surprised that when she got there she wanted to have sex! I mean I was really surprised and I told her I couldn't do that! She is my Friend!.. Until one day she coxed me into going to the movies and gave me a *******.

to get to the point, me and her ended up dating (way, way hotter 5 years ago, used to be about an 8, now I would give her a 6), we broke up, but her best friend was Kim, the girl I met when i was 13.

Kim used to call me looking for Cindy (remember guys, no cell phones back then) and then she would just call to talk. Kim and i became pretty cool. As hot as she was, believe it or not, when I was dating Cindy, I never thought about ****ing Kim, we were just Cool.

So one day, after Cindy and I broke up, soon after, Kim tells me she ahs the house to herself and asks... get this.. do I want her to pick me up so we can "kick it".

At this point, she was calling me at work, home, my pager, whenever.

so I say sure, again, not thinking anything of it, first this was Cindy's best friend, and second, Kim was so hot she would never give me the time of day


So we get to her house... alone and ended up watching TV... Now I have never been afraid of women, so when she laid down on me I started to kiss her neck and we made out for a couple of hours...

I remember it like it was yesterday, like an hour into our makeout session, Its like I said to myself "dude, I am kissing KIM, I'm not on her level remember?" and I know she could tell the difference... I mean obviously Cindy put in a good word for me because thinking back on it she wanted to do one thing and one thing only.

So after I went home, and I only realize this in hindsight, after once being so carefree because I just KNEW I had no chance with this girl, that I was myself. I know NOW that the reason she liked me was because I didn't chase her like every other guy did, I was interested in her more as who she was more than what she looked like in a skirt. But once I realized that "hey dip****, I think you might have a chance"... I froze up.

Two weeks later I got the ole LJBF line.

She is what originally brought me to this site.

So a year passes and of course she tells me "I am not looking for a BF" which in ******** means I am not looking for YOU to be my BF, but of course back then I was too dumb to see that.

One day, right around Valentines' Day she calls me and tells me she has a BF, and my heart just sunk at the time.

Her BF didn't like me, I didn't really have a problem with him, except for he was dating the girl of my dreams (or so I thought) and one day I got mad at Kim, our first real argument ever, and I told her that our whole relationship was pointless, and not to call me unless she wanted to ****... my exact words.


So 2 years passes, and almost to the day that I told her that, I get a letter in the mail, forwarded from my old address, and it was her, asking how I was doing, giving me her phone number and asking me to call her.

She still had the same BF, but I could tell she was at a point where she was clearly shopping around before she left him.

Now, in these two years I had been on sosuave.com so I know alot more about Women then I did at the time. I also had started my own company, had a little money in my pocket. So the things that I let her do back in the day... calling me while she was getting ready to go to bed and literarily falling asleep on the phone, asking me to pick her up at 7 in the morning to take her to school, pick her up from school, etc, I cut that crap out quick, especially with her having a BF and all.

So one night while her BF is out of town, she says she wants to see me, so I tell her I will pick her up and she invited me to a party that her friend was throwing. There wasn't a party, she just wanted an excuse to come back to my house, which we did, and did nothing, because again I was just too scared.

I was a lean 135 in high school, 5'8. Because I ran my company, I didn't get to exercise like I wanted to, so I ballooned up to 190... Even with that I wasn't fat, I was going to put

 

[backbreaker]

on weight as soon as I quite playing basketball I Knew that, but I was clearly out of shape.

I got down to 165 in 2 months after I decided I was going to make a change, really a month and a half. Kim and I didn't see each other for a couple of months and when she did, I could tell there was a change in the way she looked at me.. she "just so happened" to be in my neighborhood a lot more often now and wanted to "stop by"... it got so bad one day that I was at the mall and she "just so happened to be going that way" and wanted to know if she could see me up there"... didn't hurt that her BF had recently tried to kill himself either...

But, on my path to improvement, I started to have a little success, in particular with a girl named Amber


I had no problem pulling amber... We dated for... 8 months, just broke up not too long ago. She actually wanted to marry me, but I don’t feel the same way about her, so I decided it was a relationship that was headed nowhere and ended it. Getting off topic.

The point is, I got lost in my self improvement along the way, I had Amber and about 4-5 other girls in the 6-8 range I had in a nice rotation, and the longer I got lost, the more and more Kim started to act like the more LJBF Kim I had gotten used to.


After I sold my company, March 27th of this year, I decided that I needed, or better yet, Amber Decided for me, that I needed a break for Kim... (by now, I had gotten to the point where I was not infatuated with her, she had become a good friend who happed to be good looking that from time to time acted like she wanted something more)

After Amber and I broke up after I sold my company, my mom showed me a picture of me in High school and I couldn't even tell who it was... Not to brag but I would have did me in high school. Not to say I was ugly now, I was still handsome, but, even being skinny, had no problem having very, very attractive women at all times.

So that is what I did. I made a checklist of 100 days.

I made a goal of everything I wanted to do in those 100 days.

-Loose Weight
-Bulk up
-Start making money full time with horse racing, my passion in life
-learn as much about "the game" as possible
-Stop masturbating
-Start doing community work


The list is actually like 70 things long, but you get the point.

I made a STRICT list of things that had to be done in a day. If ONE thing didn't get done, I couldn't mark off that day. There were a couple of times I refused to mark off a day because I was supposed to drink 9 cups of water and I only drunk 7-8.


So instead of 100 days, it really took like 130 days to get to this point.

But something happened. Around half way through the days... I had pretty much forgotten about women in general. Not so much forgotten, but had more important things to worry about then what a woman thought of me. Amber and I still talked often, but I was so wrapped up in my "goals" that I knew I had no time to waste talking to her. My goals had literarily became my life. Getting to the point where I could mark off "0" had become the only thing I could think about.

I used to take one day a week off to "relax" but by the 60th day, I stopped doing that because I WANTED to reach my goals that much faster. I could taste the change in my life.. I mean, I wasn't doing BAD by any means... I had sold my company, had some money in the bank, had a nice house, nice car all at 22 years old, that was good... but I wanted to be the best person I could be and I knew I was capable of being alot better of a person.


August 10th, is the day I finally made it down to Zero Days, and I can admit I actually cried, because I had done something that to me was even harder than starting my company... Once I learned the value of eBay as a lunching point, my building my company actually was pretty easy. This, was painstaking long, hard and that made it more and more rewarding.

I had taken all of the full body mirrors out of my house.

I hadn't seen my Ex Amber since around I was on the 90th day, and she asked could she come over my house around a week after this was over. We ended up having sex 10 minutes after she walked through the door. She couldn't stop commenting on how good I looked. By the time we broke up, I was lucky to get laid 2 times a week, now she was literarily calling me every night trying to "make things right" between us.

People didn't even notice who I was anymore. And I am just talking about the physical part... I felt better as a person because I had so many new interests in life, besides just sitting in front of the TV and downloading porn and playing video games.

I went out a week later, the first time I had been out since I started my quest, and I had to get about 6 different phone numbers, all but one approached me, and ended up taking home an old fling that I messed around with last year .


But to Kim. I hadn't seen her since Early March. So One day, out of the blue, after I told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore, she calls me about Rico (my Alaskan husky I gave to her because I got tired of him ****ting in my old apartment.. she already had an older Alaskan Husky, and funny thing is to date he hasn't used the bathroom one time in their house in damn near 10 months) so we ended up talking again.

Or Better yet, she ended up calling me; I usually had other things, or people, to do. I was/am always in hot springs, since that is the only race track down here in Arkansas, which is 45 mins away from my house.

So one day, about 3 weeks ago, Kim and Cindy (they are still good friends) decide they are going to come over my house to kill time before they go and "kick it" with Cindy's BF (who by the way is 16, she’s 21). At the time I said no because I had this girl at my house, but me and her got into an argument and she left, so I called back and told her she could come over.

Boy if I could show you the look on both of their faces once I opened the door... not to far from the look I had on my face in the 9th grade when I saw Ashlee from over the summer.

I hadn't really SEEN Cindy since I was 18. Kim muttered "B..Will? Is that you?.. You’ve changed"

Funny thing is, they never left my house, neither one of them, to go and See Cindy's Bf and his friends (Kim never wanted to go anyway, but Cindy wasn't in a rush to leave)

I sat on an entirely different coach then them at first, I had cooked some Alfradio and was eating it on my couch before they walked in... They both, at different times got up went to my Frig, and ended up sitting on the same couch, one on each side, of me.

Cindy was giving me Kino like she wanted to blow me right in front of Kim. Kim kept looking at me but would turn away when I looked at her seriously. Cindy never knew Kim and I kissed or anything retatively close to that.. she also don’t know that Kim talks **** about her behind her back, but that’s a different post

Funniest thing about the entire night was at 1:30 ish I got a booty call and told them they could stay if they wanted, but I was going to get some ass.


It just so happened that my little cousin used to talk to Cindy and she had his phone number.. She actually called him, to get my phone number and was blowing up my phone, and still has!

Well about Kim, she came over the next weekend, after calling me every night for the next week with ****test after ****est about all these hot guys wanting to talk to her and how she can pick any guy she wants, until she finally figured that I really don't give a damn if she likes me or not.

Well, she came over alone the next weekend and spent the night... I think you guys are old enough to fill in the blanks there
:rockon:


We have been friends/F'Buddies since. The funny thing is, I would have killed to date her 1-2 years ago... Now, she is literally ****ing for my time.




I know that story is long, but the reason I told the entire story because there are 2 different references in there to LJBF's.


With Cindy, at first I didn't give her the time of day, I mean at all. I even talked about her, because she used to smoke.

When I gave her attention, and started to "fall" for her, I got broken up with and LJBF'ed.

More than once I had Kim, to this day she doesn't admit it, but I am and she isn't stupid, but once I took her too seriously and myself too seriosly, I got LJBF'ed.

It wasn't until I changed the way both of them saw me, NOT JUST PHYSCIALLY BUT MENTIALLY, because ****ing them was the last thing on my mind when both of them came over my house, and when Kim came over my house alone, instead of being hesitant, I barely let her get through the door before getting her clothes off. I didn't care what she thought; I wanted to **** her so I went for it.


I will also say, that at least in my theory, it can’t be something that takes place over time. It has to be “Today I see you you are a Troll, tomorrow I see you you are a stud that can get any girl he wants”


So there you have it, the key to turning a LJBF into a LFRN is changing the way they ultimately perceive you, mentally and physically. You also have to be willing to loose something you never had in the first place.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Inspiring post!

It's always much better when you give examples rather than just theory I find.

 

[mandoremay]

let's just be friends just ain't an option for me

Great post backbreacker but it does have something to do with the forementioned“The key to changing a Friend into a potential partner is completely changing the way they perceive you

It has nothing to do with ignoring her calls, It has nothing to do with Social Proof, it has nothing to do with being ****y or Funny around them…”

I for one have always defeated the LJBF. I always see the djs in here always say move on or next her, and basically giving up so easily. Like everything in this world there is a way around the word NO. Look at hackers, criminals , or just people in general who have heard that word countless number of times only to defeat the supposed word. There is a way around everything. Everything has an override button. Even women have this button. You just have to know when to push it.

I too like many of you have heard those words from women. Here’s my examples of hearing the lets be friends line and somehow figuring out ways to get them in the end.

EXAMPLE.- This method was gold!!! I was doing alittle drinking at a party and all of a sudden this beautiful woman approached me for a alittle cheap talk and when I got her name, it was a friends little sister that I haven’t seen in 6 years. Oh baby did she grow up. Throughout the little chit-chat, she mentioned that she use to have the biggest crush on me when she was younger…I just had to have her. But back then I use to be in shape and good looking. After a few summers of drinking I developed the panche from hell and fat did not look good on me at all, so how would I have a chance on getting this fine queen.

Me and her friends all started hanging out and one night at a party I said the hell with it and I took her outside and convinced that she would say yes… I asked her out and I got the lets just stay friends…BOOM I was crushed. But did I move on…dam no. I just had to have her.

Here’s where I put it all the pieces together. This is where AFC actually was an allie for the circumstances. AFC was used for the set-up. every night for 2 weeks I would call this girl and tell her all the wussy things a nice guy would and throughout that 2 weeks she would know about the great parties and all the rumors and all that crap woman like to here first before anyone else. Then without warning. I stopped calling. Remember… we were just friends.

So magically what did she do. She called me. It must have been the lack of attention I displayed because she was heading right into my trap. Thank god for call waiting. I knew she would call. Beep…When I clicked over it was her and as soon as she started into the how come you haven’t called me lately, I cut her off and said I’ll call you back I’m just talking to kelly which happened to be her friend. And guess what…I didn’t call her back. So we all met at a party that night. Usually I would be hanging with her but I stayed cool and stayed my distance. Finally she came over and started trying to make me laugh. I didn’t laugh and she said “how come you not laughing at my jokes.” I told her your just not funny tonite…get some new material and I’ll think about it.(a-hole). Then she asked me if I was mad at her. I said no and I proceeded to look at other women that were far less attractive than her while talking to her like she just didn‘t matter anymore. And I said hey I’ve been eyeing her all night, I’m going to talk to her. It’s always cooling talking to ya…see ya.
And I went over to this girl and made her laugh while the queen stared with a hint of jealosey.oh the drama was building. Why chicks love this crap I’ll never know.

Later that night as we were all walking from the party I stayed a bit behind the crowd. I knew the vixen would slow down and want to have a say. Little did I know what had transpired that night would make me a victor. The lack of attention, the ****yness, the I don’t need you attitude had woke up a primal instict in her. I had emerged from being a fat AFC, into a man who would walk on. It had finally instilled a sense of loss for her. She had to do something to win me back. She started the conversation with “remember a few weeks ago when you asked me out.” I rolled my eyes and said yeah. Than the shocker…….she said would you reconsider. I almost shat. I said I’d think about it. And she said don’t think to long. I grabbed her and kissed her . Now that was a manly moment. What did I have to lose. There is always a way around everything. Sometimes the most unorthodox methods that seem out of place ,seem to fit into place if you know when to use them. When you can tap into a womans feelings and make them go haywire, it’s gold.
I went from having no chance in hell with this woman to bedding her with the gut of love. It’s true women don’t think with there heads. They react to emotional stimulates. Her perception had changed. not because I was good looking or nice. I took no as a challenge and found the back door. No was just a word.

It’s like when you see a buck-tooth , ugly looking girl growing up, you percieve them as ugly. Then they grow up and turn into this supermodel looking honey. As men that’s all we need as a green light are looks. To women….looks help but it’s how you make them feel(rollercoaster, drama,*******ness,etc.) that gets us the green light. Being sweet and nice is the path to being a friend.

 

[backbreaker]

Re: let's just be friends just ain't an option for me

Originally posted by mandoremay

Here’s where I put it all the pieces together. This is where AFC actually was an allie for the circumstances. AFC was used for the set-up. every night for 2 weeks I would call this girl and tell her all the wussy things a nice guy would and throughout that 2 weeks she would know about the great parties and all the rumors and all that crap woman like to here first before anyone else. Then without warning. I stopped calling. Remember… we were just friends.

You miss the entire point of being a DJ..


Being a DJ has nothing.... well not nothing, but isn't about getting the woman you want... It's about becoming the best possible person you can be. A Man of Morals, values and intergrity.

LIke Pook said, the question isn't do you have a girl or women or do you not, but is your love like TRUE or FALSE.

By becoming an AFC to get a girl, your love life is fALSE.

Let's assume for the moment that Jessica Simpson is the hottest woman on earth. If Jessica Simpson walked through the door right now and said "mandoremay, if you were AFC I would spend the rest of my life with you" would you do it?

Which is more important? Staying true to yourself, or going with the wind to catch a woman?


As far as looks, to men it's not the only thing, but It's seriously about 80 percent of the equation.

For women it's more around 40-50%.

It's just that men are more willing to compromise in the prusit of sex.

My "Friend" KIm, one of the guys she was telling me about that was dy ing to date her is very, very good looking, and I am not gay... 5'11, he is actually training for the 2008 olympics and is pretty ripped, he is a model for A&F... But as "hot" as he was, she doesn't udnerstand why she isn't attracted to him... She let me listen to one of his phone calls and it didn't take me 2 mintues to figure out why... Probably the worst AFC I have ever seen. This is a guy that should have a waiting line for hot chicks to be called upon at his beckon, but he is riding Kim like she is the last girl on earth. Granted, Kim is a hottie, but no girl is THAT hot... He calls her 4-5 times a day, gets mad when she goes to the club, gets mad when I call her, actually cried when he found out she had sex with me (mind you they aren't even talking, haven't even had sex yet). She told him point blank that she doesn't see herself being in a long term relationship with him,a nd like she said "what else am I supposed to do? I am single and this guy won't leave me alone of couse I am going to use him"

 

[frivolousz21]

A Man of Morals, values and intergrity.

EXACTLY!

 

[salsipuedes]

Originally posted by backbreaker
be willing to loose something you never had in the first place.

 

[lordson]

i just got LJBF'ed couple weeks ago and made it a point from there never to call her or invite myself over to her house to hang.

she always calls me, though i had relaspe and called her last night when she didn't call me and she was like "i knew you were going to call"

anyway, i've next her in sorts, and giong to proceed to chase other girls

she called me tonight whilst i was talking to another girl and i just sed "i am extemely busy, ill call you later" and of course i didn't

point is, ill tell you guys how ignoring this girl works out, and see if it acutally workds

 

[backbreaker]

we already know the answer... there are thousands of posts here reffering to the effects on ignoring girls.


You gill get a peaked interest but once she sees you are the same person mentially and physically everything will be the same

 

[Skydiver43127]

Hmm, here is a topic I have lots of experience in.

I believe the problem with LJBF situations is "the missing link" - "Just friends" are actually no friends at all - just girls trying to reject you, while keeping the "nice person" self-image and the flow of attention and affection. "The missing link" is the real female friend, which stands somewhere between "Just friend" and "Into you".

I generally believe a JF girl cannot be turned into a date. Even if she could, it would be an impressive waste of time, because of all the effort you invested in hitting on her before getting the LJBF.

The question what to do with the JF leftovers from your AFC period, however, is something that stood in front of me some time ago. As a high school student I was exactly the classical LFBF-getting guy, and the pattern just repeated again and again while I was trying to understand and correct the problem. I succeeded, to a bigger extent than I ever thought possible, but then the question of what to do with all the "just friends" sucking my energy presented itself. As I said, turning them into dates is hard and stupid, but just throwing all these contacts away is also an awlful waste.

The answer is to try and make real friends out of them. As most of you probably know, the value of an attractive female friend cannot be overestimated. Having them around is fun, gives you confidence, makes other women more attracted, and you can do practically everything with them, as long as you're confortable with it being in the "friends" zone. And the only way to lose them is to do something stupid, like trying to go out of the "friends" zone. Note that this zone is entirely subjective - for some people kissing a friend on the cheek is out of the "friends" zone, and for others having sex with them is not.

And how you do that? Well, for this you really have to do what backbreaker said - totallt change their perception of you. And this is hard. The "door" I found is rather similar in concept to lordson's. The only thing JFs actually pay attention in you is the flow of attention and affection. So the only way to change their perception of you is to cut this flow in a very unusual and disturbing way for them. Not just stop calling (which is actually quite regular - guys are giving up all the time), but doing all sorts of "inconciderate" and "mean" things - forgetting details about them, making outrageous demands on their time, asking inpolite questions and so on. Well, this is actually not foolproof - around 1/2 to 3/4 will just be very angry at you for changing and drop all contact, but I sincerely believe a long-term JF is worse than nothing, so I don't really care.

Anyway, being LJBF-ed cannot even be refered to as a way to making female friends, because dates are actually much more suited for that. What I described here are just ways to cut back on your losses, which is sometimes as important as improving your success.

 

[Javelin44]

very good post. a true post by an enlightened dj

 

[backbreaker]

quite contrary... when women say "let's just be friends"... They usually mean they want to be your friend. It's just when we try to make a half ditch effort to "win them" they realize that we still "want" them and it ruins everything.


Kim and I actually became REALLY good friends over the last 5 years... We stopped talking for 2 years, but she stopped by my house all the time, we usually talked to each other every other day, my EX Amber, who for all intents and purposes lived with me, didn't have too much of a problem with her, even when she would come home from work and Kim and i would be watching TV... She just got mad that Kim started a bad habit of calling me at 11-12 at night.


The answer is to try and make real friends out of them. As most of you probably know, the value of an attractive female friend cannot be overestimated. Having them around is fun, gives you confidence, makes other women more attracted, and you can do practically everything with them, as long as you're confortable with it being in the "friends" zone. And the only way to lose them is to do something stupid, like trying to go out of the "friends" zone. Note that this zone is entirely subjective - for some people kissing a friend on the cheek is out of the "friends" zone, and for others having sex with them is not.

The key is deciding what YOU want from the relationship, not what you think is the best "path" to win her over. If you can't get what you want out of the relationship, leave.

Kim had a BF for 3 and a half years and I had a GF for a while... For a while, dating or Banging Kim honeslty wasn't on my mind. I mean, we both would agree we found the other person attractive but we were just cool.. It wasn't until that first night that Kim came over my house that I looked at her and said to myself.. "yeah, I think I want to bang her"..

You can't be afraid to loose something you don't have.

With me setting my goals now higher than ever, I barely have time for my MALE friends or even my family, let alone some LJBF girl who I am tr ying to "win"



Let me share another story..

Last night, I took an early nap and I got a call around 12:00am.. it was kim. She asked me did I want to come over her house and "watch TV"... Because we are getting all of the rain from Hurricane Rita here in Arkansas, I told her she would have to wait until the storms died down, which took about 1 hour.

So I put on some clothes, and drove over there... So ... I mean, do I have to really tell you what happened?

So the entire time, this guy who is crazy about her, the hot model guy I mentioned earlier, kept calling her. I am not lying when i said he called 30 times from the time I walked in her room til the time i left... So while we are int he middle of.. it, he calls and she says "I am getting soo tired of him, I don't care how hot he is"... so what does she do? "She picks up the phone while we are going at it!:crackup:

So every time she talks, I am trying to make her scream, and I was laughing so hard I wanted to cry. He said "what are you doing" and she said "I'm ****ing Will, bye".

So after we are done, we got some ice cream and sat down and watched a movie (benefit of actually banging a "friend"... we are actually friends) So she beggs me to pick up the phone the next time she calls her, so I do and I tell him that she is "tied up right now" and that I would have her call him back.

So 1 mintue later he calls right back, and leaves a 5 minute voicemail on her phone, saying how he is done with her, how could she sleep with another guy, etc... only to call back again 2 minutes later.

I got a good laugh out of that the entire night.. The funny thing is, she doesn't know why she isn't attracted to this hot guy, but she did say "I know I couldn't do that to you, because you wouldn't call me back"

The reason I posted that is because, well 1) it was funny and 2) Alot of guys here are that guy that was calling all night.. and would make a post saying how that they had this hot chick (and damn she's hot) and would call her a ***** and a slut, simply because she is sleeping wtih someone else, when you are being a hypocrit because you are just mad because it's not YOU that she is sleeping with.


To be susscessful with women, not just LJBF, you have to eliminate Desire.

Pook made a post that about Ego, that I think is what made me t4ruel understand why things went the way they did with Kim and i.

When I first met her and had my frist chance with her, I wanted her, but I wanted her to by my GF, just like this guy who calls her everynight. In other words, I wanted her to satisfy my EGO.

It wasn't until I stopped masterbating, stopped looking at porn, adn saw her that I said "Damn, she has nice legs". "Damn she has soft hair that always smells like Shampoo" "She has perky Breasts". IN other words, I wanted her to satisfy a more primal need, as pook puts it, then EGO.

It wasn't until then that I was able to "REALLY" approach her and let her know that i found her physically attractive and wouldn't mind showing it. In other words, hitting back to my oringial post, making her have an entirely different prectption of me.


BTW, I dont know why I didn't post this pic, but here is a pic of Kim and Cindy, Kim on the right, Cindy on the left

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ur_hacked03/detail?.dir=8c12&.dnm=c73f.jpg&.src=ph

 

[Skydiver43127]

quite contrary... when women say "let's just be friends"... They usually mean they want to be your friend. It's just when we try to make a half ditch effort to "win them" they realize that we still "want" them and it ruins everything.

That may be truth, but what they want is irrelevent in this case. What they feel is important. And believe me, when a girl rejects a sexual move by the LJBF method, she does not feel you as a friend.

Anyway, nice story. And nice pic. But really keep in mind that there are a lot of attractive girls out there who you can satisfy your sexual desires with. Changed perception or no, turning a real friend into a girlfriend is still pointless.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

True, a girl may see you in a different light and might be interested in dating you later down the road. But this thread shouldn't be about giving hope to those who have been LJBF. When a girl LJBF, I assess the situation: If she is worthy to keep as a friend, I will cherish her as a friend. If she's not, NEXT.

This 10 page soap opera should've been a 1 page lesson.

 

[lordson]

yeah i think thats true

being freinds really isn't that bad

and sometimes they do come back, better than ever to you

 

[backbreaker]

i have a response I am working on, but I haven't had time to post it yet, I should be able to later today

 

[backbreaker]

That may be truth, but what they want is irrelevent in this case. What they feel is important. And believe me, when a girl rejects a sexual move by the LJBF method, she does not feel you as a friend.

That is true... I think something I didn't think about at the time is that Kim and i were friends, real friends, WAY before all of this came up... we didn't have a choice, I was dating her best friend.


I was at a bar last year, around this time, and i ran into this girl that my best friend knew, it was his brother's wife's best friend. She was cute, went to LSU and wanted her sister to hook her up with me. So we exchanged numbers, etc.

So to make a very long st ory short, she called me one night and wanted to come over. I said sure. She is over my house at 2 in the morning, so of course, I am trying to ****, I mean, why else would you be over my house this late at night? so I could tell she was uncofortbale, so I back up and she leaves later, and calls me the next day saying, "I am moving too fast" and she wants to be "friends"..

I politely told her I had all the friends I need, and to take care of herself.

What i am saying s, if a girl I just met and I didn't have any connection with, like 90 percent of all LJBF's are, then there is no way in hell I would go down that route... that's just me personally.. I am not saying you are wrong for it, but becasue I was dating Kim's best friend Cindy, it sorta just... happened... and at the time I honestly couldn't blame her because back then they were really BEST friends, now they are more like associates... plus Cindy has talked so much crap about me over the last 5 years she figured that she didn't want anything to do with me (why she talked crap about me I hav eno idea, but she feels like a dumbass now)

being freinds really isn't that bad

You are right... but being Friends with a woman that you honestly know you want to DATE is,b ecause it's a) letting HER set the bounderies of your relationship, alibeit a friendship/relationship and b) You will develop Oneitis very, very quickly, soon forgetting that she ****s and eats just like the other 3 Billion women on earth.


Even when I was a total AFC, when I honestly wanted to date KIM and she made it aparent that she didn't want to date me and choose the other guy, I left.. for 2 years, and had no intentions of contact her, she contacted me.

Earlier this year, when she started the whole mixed signals thing again, I told her I don't have time for it and LEFT, from Mid March to about the middle of July... although I knew this time I would contact her, but I had things (my 100 day checklist) I needed to get working on.

This 10 page soap opera should've been a 1 page lesson

There are litearly hundreds of pages on "tips" to deal with LJBF's, but not very many stories at all, which is why I could have very easily summed it up in 2-3 paragraphs, but decided to be more descriptive.


However you make a good point.. First, you should NEVER make the mistake of keeping a girl around just because you hope she changes her mind... She is not a friend and you are not her friend. YOu are not giving her REAL advice, you are givign her bias advice that will hopfully make her end up with you one day, that's not what real friends do.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by backbreaker
There are litearly hundreds of pages on "tips" to deal with LJBF's, but not very many stories at all, which is why I could have very easily summed it up in 2-3 paragraphs, but decided to be more descriptive.

Exactly. There is a lot of helpful info on these forums about getting out of a LJBF but it needs context, or it will give false hope to a lot of people.

It has often been said that if you get out of a LJBF, you were never really in it in the first place. This is a circular and untestable argument. But it is possibly true. LJBFing might fall into various categories:

1) She really doesn't have any attraction to you and never will, no matter what you do. TOTAL LJBF - GIVE UP, MOVE ON.

2) She's unsure of her feelings for you so she errs on the safe side. PUT ON THE BACKBURNER - DJ BIBLE, SELF-IMPROVEMENT.

3) She likes someone else and doesn't want to destroy that option - you may be second best now but with significant self-improvement, you might jump to the top. SEE ABOVE

4) She has some sort of issue with relationships. RUN FOR THE HILLS.

etc etc.

The point is, without background stories of the successes and failures we just end up with a generic, oversimplified category of LJBF's giving hope to those who shouldn't bother and putting off those who might have a chance.

If women were as simple as a single paragraph, this site wouldn't exist.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Basically, after countless paragraphs of useless bragging, you have told us that to avoid LJBF, we should treat her like we don't really want her and make it known that you are in demand and have other woman as options. Congratulations on getting yourself out of AFC-land.

 

[BMW]

kids dating in 6th grade = destruction of education in America