IF u want a LTR Dont ****!

[frivolousz21]

ok..this is just an assement ive made...I think the sooner you have sex the sooner you are set up for failure.

most of the women I dated..I went on 1 or 2 dates and we were ****ing. and I immediately lost interest.

the last one..the one I have the feelings for...we went on 4 dates.a couple were 4 to 5 hours long..with lots of physical interaction.

the last one..we went out to the Landing (a bar strip) drank..went back to her place..ended up having sex...then we woke up and ****ed again.

but I let myself develop an attachment to her before we had sex..which made it all better.

which also propelled my short 2 hours of insecurity today!

anywho....if you want a keeper...make sure you want more than sex..and you like her before u bang her!

 

[memphis12]

I agree totally! I have had really pretty girls actually sleep in my bed and done nothing, sounds stupid but the first 2 girlfriends i had, i made the first wait 2 months, and the next (love of my life) wait 6 months! lol, and we ended up being together nearly 6 years, i always make them wait, to make sure there not just some lil hore.

 

[Royal Elite]

After reading this it just hit me that there are actually guys out there who really dont know how to get into a ltr. Wow, i am actually stunned.

Listen if you find someone you really want to get into something long term like the man said chill with the sex. Don't chase it, don't have it. And for all you inexperience guys out there you will actually have a girl chase you more if you turn down sex. Women think that no guy will turn down sex, ever. Men turning down sex is very, very, rare.

 

[skeeloo]

yep, turning down sex will get you laid in my own experience. its like they think you have so many women to chosse from that you cant be borthered with them. even when i wasnt geting any i acted like i was.

 

[Finch]

I currently have this girl that I'm interested in for maybe a relationship. We're both getting somewhat close since I asked her to prom a week ago. Anyway, we've talked on the phone a few times, hung out, and things are developing slowly and at a great pace.

However, I know this girl is very sexual. Most likely I will be having sex on prom night with this girl in just a few weeks. Prom night is the perfect time to do it, but what if she wants to do it before hand? Do I turn her down? How would I do that without her losing interest and thinking I'm prude?

 

[Royal Elite]

Plus the feeling you get is second to none when you switch the tables on them. There is nothing like the power you feel when you have women "begging" you for sex, you feel like a king.

 

[MrHarris]

ok..this is just an assement ive made...I think the sooner you have sex the sooner you are set up for failure.

I have not found this statement to be true in my own life. Just because you can land her in 1 or 2 dates doesn't cause me to lose interest. It is just a testament to my game skills.

If I don't get laid by the 2nd date then I would assume either this girl is playing "the game" and I am not going to play any woman's waiting game, or there is something that isn't connecting between us.

I personally cannot recall having gone longer than 2 contacts. The meet, then the date, then the bed.

Women know within minutes of meeting you if whether or not they want to sleep with you. All that dating is a waste of time, energy and finances.

 

[yunghova35]

i think this is stupid now i usually dont kiss a chick on the fist date reason why is to have them guessing about if i wan them or not but the next date im kissing and ****ing because of how i built attraction

and yes at time i lose intrest but i dont blame it on having sex too early i blame it on the female i think if you like a chick it doesnt matter when you have sex with her, if you really didnt like her you will lose intrest

 

[whistler]

no no no

WAITING has NOTHING to do with it.

It's about knowing you want the girl beyond just her cooch.

If you know that the night you meet, you can still have sex and an LTR.

 

[whistler]

Actually, to be more precise...

It's about the girl having the impression (through your communication) that you want her for more than just her body. Get that across in the first night, and sex and an LTR is perfectly reasonable, IMO.

 

[DeathDealer]

this is stupid. someone feels guilty for being a manslut. please go preach to some hungry africans.

 

[Wyldfire]

This is very good advice. What a lot of people don't realize is that the second you bring sex into the relationship it's immediately stunts the emotional growth. Some of you have heard me mention how great my relationship with my deceased fiance' was. He was in prison when we met through his children. Although we did manage to be sneaky and have sex a few times while he was in prison, we essentially weren't able to have sex without being nervous of being caught and being quick about it until after 4 years together. We had the most amazing emotional and mental connection, bond and relationship you could imagine...and it was because we had to wait to have sex. Obviously, that's a bit long to wait, but the longer you wait, the deeper the bond on other levels develops. If there is a woman you would really like to hold onto...put off sex for as long as you can, and the chances of the relationship lasting raises dramatically.

 

[LuvMyArmyMan]

I completely disagree. And i agree with Whistler, too. There are exceptions like with me and my boyfriend. We had sex on our second date and our 16-month anniversary is on March 22nd. And its also a long distance relationship too. So dont immediately jump to the conclusion that having sex early on is a bad thing and that it stunts emotional growth because it certainly didnt with my relationship. It all depends on you and the other person.

I think whistler hit it dead-on. I know that i got a great first impression of John before we started really dating and after our first two dates, i knew that i was comfortable with him and that he was definitely not interested in hooking up. I can't tell you how he did it, but he did. And we've had an amazing, emotionally satifying relationship since the beginning. And i dont htink that holding off sex will improve the emotional relationship, either. If anything, sex brought us a lot closer together since it is such an emotional act to begin with.

 

[Sart]

MY VOTE

I have had few LTR's in my time, including a marriage. I feel that if I connect with a girl, sex is probably not too far away. Im not talking about a 3am one night stand, but someone you pursue and go out with.

Sex is over rated as an emotional state I think, its emotion and connection that leads to sex. My advice would be NEVER hunt for an LTR, EVER! Let that mountain come to Mohammed, let it be, dont chase it or you will find yourself on the internet, just separated and telling others....DONT DO IT.

My best LTR's were not something I was looking for, but, to be dead honest, my marriage was something I sought out. If I didnt have sex pretty damn quick, I would be out of there, something is wrong.

 

[sapphire]

Not always true

Not having sex right away will charm some women into wanting it but not all. It all depends on the circumstances.

I have had occassions where I waited for sex and never heard from the girl again. On two successive instances, for example, I had two girls stay over my house for the night after a first date. I did not make a move on either of them and neither wanted to see me again aftet that. No doubt because they somehow felt rejected.

Then again, it could be that all they wanted was sex and nothing more. I could see that if a woman is attracted to you and sees you as LTR material and not just a quick lay to satisfy her horniness for the night then waiting for sex can be beneficial in the long term.

 

[dookie]

I had the pleasure of turning down sex a couple of times. If I had it my way, I would have held out a couple more weeks but it started to feel like I was rejecting her, and I didn't want her to feel that way. Sex wasn't awesome but she got an A for effort.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by whistler
Actually, to be more precise...

It's about the girl having the impression (through your communication) that you want her for more than just her body. Get that across in the first night, and sex and an LTR is perfectly reasonable, IMO.

Yes. And her wanting YOU for more than your body as well.

 

[doctoroxygen]

I have not found this to be true. If you're not having sex with a girl, I can't understand what makes you different from "just a friend". This sounds like "you should be friends first and see where it goes" advice. That's what AFCs do, but I guess there are billions of AFCs in LTRs...

 

[frivolousz21]

since no one bothered to read exactly what I wrote..

the point was...if your main intention is getting laid.

then whats the point?

at this point you should know you can get laid..so sex should be easy for you.

I had sex on th 4th date with the women im with now..but it was a rapid growth in emotion that provoked it..it was pretty passionate out of the blue sex.

that was great. we hung out last night..she is on her period so no sex..but we had a good time..and we both wanted it bad..I know I played it right by not wanting sex in the first place.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by doctoroxygen
I have not found this to be true. If you're not having sex with a girl, I can't understand what makes you different from "just a friend". This sounds like "you should be friends first and see where it goes" advice. That's what AFCs do, but I guess there are billions of AFCs in LTRs...

Having sex with a girl does not make you a "friend" and not having sex with a girl does not make you a "friend". You are a friend because there was not agreement between the two of you that you are anything more then that. No one "falls" into "friend zone" you are placed there. Either a woman has interest in you, or she doesn't.

You have to decide what you want from the girl when thinking about sex. If you mainly want sex then go for sex early, but if you want a woman's soul, the best way to get it, especially if she is a woman who has trust issues, to to get to know her. Sex is part of the process, getting to know her is part of the process. Use both of them as effectively as you can.

There is always someone who can give your girl sex better then you, and if that is your main focus on getting her somebody else who knows how to touch her mind will also be touching her body.