if she's into you you will know

[pyros]

Hi.


Im a bit tired of reading in this forum things like: 'if the girl really likes you she will contact you. IF she does like you she will find a way to meet you...etc etc etc'
OK this is true, but it is only true when she KNOWS you for a bit or for a while at least + she finds you attractive + she's single.

But when you know a girl just briefly, or you just met her for a few minutes and you got her number...

What know? which girl is actually going on a date with a guy she barely knows?
a guy she met for 10 minutes, or a guy that someone introduced to her at the uni but she's never gonna see him again unless a date happens.


You follow me?
'If the girl likes you...' 'If the girl has high interest in you...'

are we suposing the 'interest' or 'liking' happens inmediately after you meet?
because my experience tells me that when you meet a girl for the first time, if she actually likes what she sees, you fit her physical type, and you have a laugh or two, she's single and willing to meet a guy, then IN THIS case she will find a way to conctact you , or to see you again, or she will display a very friendly behaviour towards you. But just in this case, when she likes you straightaway from the first minute.


On the other hand, many guys are trying to 'increase' her interest level in you i.e. say the right thing, do negs, etc etc

But I believe it is all about first attraction + avaiable single girl.

For example, some years ago I was chasing a girl. A girl that did nos show high interest from the begining but we got along well. I was trying to set dates, making her laugh, talking to her via msn almost every night etc.
She was showing 'some' interest. We went out two times (she somehow refused some other times with silly excuses) we kissed, ok, but in the end... she met another guy that she probably liked from the begining and they started to date.

On the other hand, when I met my ex, she showed high interest from the begining: She was very friendly towards me the first time we met, smiled a lot, gave me conversation etc. I noticed this, I asked for her number. We met two times in a common friend's party. We chatted for a bit. She suggested we should meet some other time. I called her some days later....and from there...easy as pie.


What are your experiences in this issue? easy from the benining? you chased her?
I have a cousing that was chasing a girl for some years: talking to her, saying how pretty she was...and she did not show any interest, and rejected him. But after some years, they met in a party, he kissed her, and he end up bangin her some weeks later.


Its somehow contradictory. I think if she shows interest from the begining its just easy and thats it. If she doesnt, you may work to increse it but its way more complicated, but as in my example, it may end up well.


P.S.

Im always amazed how many guys here date or bang so many girls. In my experience you may meet a cute girl, shes friendly towards you, some chemistry going but she has a bf. Or you meet a cute girl but she's not that into you. Or you meet a cute girl but just briefly, you may get her number but she never responds because she doesnt really know you, she may like you...but you're a stranger, a guy she met once at the cinema.

 

[TopGun2000]

make sense. so basically it's still a numbers game.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

In regard to the final point...
I agree with you, when it comes to actually dating girls it's difficult to find the right circumstances, IE she's single, doesn't have her eye on someone else, you actually like her enough to date, she isn't still in love with her ex, etc etc etc. it really is annoying but I guess, the more girls you meet, the higher the probability of meeting more date able girls.

 

[InnerHappiness]

For example, some years ago I was chasing a girl. A girl that did nos show high interest from the begining but we got along well. I was trying to set dates, making her laugh, talking to her via msn almost every night etc.
She was showing 'some' interest. We went out two times (she somehow refused some other times with silly excuses) we kissed, ok, but in the end... she met another guy that she probably liked from the begining and they started to date.

On the other hand, when I met my ex, she showed high interest from the begining: She was very friendly towards me the first time we met, smiled a lot, gave me conversation etc. I noticed this, I asked for her number. We met two times in a common friend's party. We chatted for a bit. She suggested we should meet some other time. I called her some days later....and from there...easy as pie.

Could both girls have similar IL in the beginning, but your actions changed the outcome?

Insightful post!

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Could both girls have similar IL in the beginning, but your actions changed the outcome?

Insightful post!

Nope. He never had a chance with the first girl. She was just stringing him along until she got her real target. It has happened to me before. Same exact story except for a small twist in the end. When it didn't go well with the other guy, she hit me up again out of the blue and I basically told her "have a nice life, I am not a consolation prize" (I knew about the other guy and what was going at this point).

peace

 

[bigneil]

The liking should happen immediately IMO. But good point OP about the reply/interest level ratio not being a good measurement of success early on. For the first 2 months (and the first month or so after sex), expect constant flaking, but if she initiates some texting and agrees to dates then you're in the game.

There are no hard and fast rules like: if she liked you she would have contacted you by now. If that were true we wouldn't need any debate. It's any given Sunday - you have to play the game to see who wins, you can't just compare stats.

Remember: women will often do the opposite of what we would expect just to be unpredictable.

If you graph out interest level versus likelihood of her contacting you, at the highest level it goes down - in other words, when she cares TOO much she won't risk rejection. Meanwhile, girls who don't care that much will text all the time but it goes nowhere.

Compare my last two one-itisis after break-up and No Contact initated:

1) Girl A texted me on day 10, day 30, day 50 and day 70 - I responded to most, but never saw her again nor did she agree to meet.
2) Girl B never texted again but when I wrote to her on day 60 she replied right away and suggested meeting.

Which one had higher interest?