If she calls you a "red flag"

[Michael Chief]

I was talking with a dude who said there was a female coworker who kept touching him, playfully hitting him, etc.

It was clear from his story that she was flirting with him. However, he said he wasn't so sure because she called him a "red flag" before.

Logically, in his male brain, red flag = bad = should not date = not interested

This is flawed logic.

If she called him a red flag, that means she was attracted enough to think of him in a dating context in the first place.

The thought of a lightbulb tasting bad wouldn't even cross your mind because you don't consider it edible.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

 

[B80]

I was talking with a dude who said there was a female coworker who kept touching him, playfully hitting him, etc.

It was clear from his story that she was flirting with him. However, he said he wasn't so sure because she called him a "red flag" before.

Logically, in his male brain, red flag = bad = should not date = not interested

This is flawed logic.

If she called him a red flag, that means she was attracted enough to think of him in a dating context in the first place.

The thought of a lightbulb tasting bad wouldn't even cross your mind because you don't consider it edible.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

So much depends on context. Did she say it in joky/playful way or with smile on her face.

Sounds like she is definitely intersted, but being in workplace he really has to tread carefully from here, as we know.

If it wasn't in the workplace, depending in manner it was said, and their backgrounds, I wouldbt give up tbh. If she said in stern, serious tone and had boyfriend I'd back off.

If said playfully to me, I'd read it as 'I know I shouldn't, but part of me really wants to. So keep escalating, take responsibility away from me/my decision making.'

Particularly If she has a partner... it becomes a 'it just happened ' story I'm her mind then.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It was clear from his story that she was flirting with him. However, he said he wasn't so sure because she called him a "red flag" before.
Logically, in his male brain, red flag = bad = should not date = not interested

He didn't ask her what she meant by 'red flag'?

 

[B80]

He didn't ask her what she meant by 'red flag'?

I wouldn't ask tbh. I'd go by everything I outlined.

Could do of course, but I'd consider everything ekse around it rstger than putting her on spot. As unlikely to go true answer anyway... depending on woman. If she said it sternly, yeah, I'd say what you suggested. To nip things in the bud.

 

[Barrister]

Always judge a woman based on her actions. Not her words.

The playful touching and banter clearly shows she is attracted to your friend. The guy sounds like he has poor skills at picking up on signs of interest because that is about as blatant as 90% of women get without coming right out and saying it.

 

[LTG71]

“Red flag“ as in she likes the emotional rush and is curious to see where it could go. Learn to recognize the nuances of female speech and body language.

 

[Mertz09]

“Red flag“ as in she likes the emotional rush and is curious to see where it could go. Learn to recognize the nuances of female speech and body language.

This!!!!

 

[Manure Spherian]

I was talking with a dude who said there was a female coworker who kept touching him, playfully hitting him, etc.

It was clear from his story that she was flirting with him. However, he said he wasn't so sure because she called him a "red flag" before.

Logically, in his male brain, red flag = bad = should not date = not interested

This is flawed logic.

If she called him a red flag, that means she was attracted enough to think of him in a dating context in the first place.

The thought of a lightbulb tasting bad wouldn't even cross your mind because you don't consider it edible.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

“You’re bad” or “You’re a red flag,” means she thinks the man is sexual material.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Mixed signals and a workplace sourced potential plate - I would pass, no thanks. This isn't an ego boost, this is a headache.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

“You’re bad” or “You’re a red flag,” means she thinks the man is sexual material.

I've been called "bad" in a good way, but never a "red flag" in a good way.

 

[The Duke]

I'd assume red flag is the new bad boy/player term. It's all good. She wants to get dihked down real good. If she is still talking she is down.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Girls will sometimes call you "a f0ckboy", "a red flag", "a bad boy" etc and mean it as a compliment. Its more about how they say it than the actual words

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I'll bet you that most women complain to friends all the time about guys being "red flags" or "fvckboys" or "narcissists" yet continually and exclusively date men with these qualities (even if said qualities are completely fabricated in her mind).

I would go as far as to say women don't want a man without red flags (unless they are looking for a weak, spineless simp they can walk all over, which is another discussion).

Women HATE "perfect" men, they're boring, unchallenging, and sus to them, and may even consider having no red flags a red flag in and of itself, and in the absense of any obvious red flags, will probably fabricate them anyway.

So in short, once again, you should never listen to what women say.

 

[LTG71]

I'll bet you that most women complain to friends all the time about guys being "red flags" or "fvckboys" or "narcissists" yet continually and exclusively date men with these qualities (even if said qualities are completely fabricated in her mind).

I would go as far as to say women don't want a man without red flags (unless they are looking for a weak, spineless simp they can walk all over, which is another discussion).

Women HATE "perfect" men, they're boring, unchallenging, and sus to them, and may even consider having no red flags a red flag in and of itself, and in the absense of any obvious red flags, will probably fabricate them anyway.

So in short, once again, you should never listen to what women say.

Emotions are what drives them. Stable guys don’t present them with ups and downs and that bores them. The old adage, “women love azzholes…” Azzholes give them emotional chaos which seems to keep them entertained and makes them “feel” alive. The average guy has to work non-stop and at the end of the day wants peace. Complete polar opposites, lol.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Emotions are what drives them. Stable guys don’t present them with ups and downs and that bores them. The old adage, “women love azzholes…” Azzholes give them emotional chaos which seems to keep them entertained and makes them “feel” alive. The average guy has to work non-stop and at the end of the day wants peace. Complete polar opposites, lol.

I don't even think they like "azzholes" they like guys with strong boundaries and frame, which more azzholey/narcissistic men tend to have.