If it doesn't come to you naturally, don't try it.

[DiegoSantori]

There are things in life that always came naturally to me like friends or professional achievements. I never asked for a friend, yet there were always guys who invited me to parties and wanted to gain my friendship. My professional life is just as trouble-free. I've always done my best and the professional achievements came naturally as a reward.

Women, however, never came naturally to me. Those rare times when I had success with them can simply be explained by the fact that every dog has his day.

I tried everything! Believe me!

- I established a connection with them, quickly acted as if I had something else to do. Didn't work
- Never gave my entire self to them. Didn't work
- Played it smooth. Didn't work
- Bought some nice clothes. Didn't work
- I was coc*y and funny. Didn't work
- I smiled and made eye contact. Didn't work
- Initiated Kino. Didn't work
- Intentionally disagreed with them. Didn't work

Now, at the age of 25, I've accepted that I'm just not the guy women want, even though I've been told I'm handsome quite often. Women don't come naturally to me, so I won't even try anymore.

There are guys who are spoilt for choice and have the luxury to decide between a large number of women who would give everything they own just to go on a date with them. Why should I fight this unnecessary uphill battle? It's like a real estate agent trying to sell you an ordinary single-family home in an ordinary suburb while you're competing with 10 other prospective buyers for a $3million-private home with tall ceilings and a designer pool.

I'm chasing money now. There are so many great things about money. More free time, better cars, better holidays, better restaurants, and the ability to fulfil your own dreams. Maybe there will come a time when women come to me naturally, maybe not. I don't know.

 

[Casillas]

Its good that you focus your time and energy on better things for your own satisfaction. I want you to think about an action movie, anyone you want. Like you know there is always a main character (In this case a man), and these main character always have a purpose/mission to achieve (e.g. He is on a trip to save the world from aliens or some stuff like that) and we cant forget about the woman (There is always a woman, that eventually fall in love with our main character). Its sounds easy right? but we miss a point here, our main character is always focus on his mission NEVER in the woman, why? because he don't have time to think about if she likes him or not, she don't have time to chase her and get her attention, and just like that she declares her love to him. Imagine if he forget about his mission and only focus on her, first she will not be interested because he is available all the time and have no value, he is like all the men that chase her, BUT If he focus on himself and his MISSION women will come and go... In conclusion FOCUS on YOURSELF (your goals, aspirations, your work, your friends, etc... remember WOMEN are PART of your trip, not the trip. Good luck!

 

[DiegoSantori]

Its good that you focus your time and energy on better things for your own satisfaction. I want you to think about an action movie, anyone you want. Like you know there is always a main character (In this case a man), and these main character always have a purpose/mission to achieve (e.g. He is on a trip to save the world from aliens or some stuff like that) and we cant forget about the woman (There is always a woman, that eventually fall in love with our main character). Its sounds easy right? but we miss a point here, our main character is always focus on his mission NEVER in the woman, why? because he don't have time to think about if she likes him or not, she don't have time to chase her and get her attention, and just like that she declares her love to him. Imagine if he forget about his mission and only focus on her, first she will not be interested because he is available all the time and have no value, he is like all the men that chase her, BUT If he focus on himself and his MISSION women will come and go... In conclusion FOCUS on YOURSELF (your goals, aspirations, your work, your friends, etc... remember WOMEN are PART of your trip, not the trip. Good luck!

Great comment! Thank you. I agree that a man's mission should be his top priority. The "masculine, strong" male main character in movies often seems to ignore the women who make advances to him because he only cares about his goals.

 

[slight]

There must be something you are doing wrong. You could be doing all the right things, but just one wrong move could be setting you back from being successful with women.

Just my 2 cents

 

[DiegoSantori]

There must be something you are doing wrong. You could be doing all the right things, but just one wrong move could be setting you back from being successful with women.

Just my 2 cents

I checked out SoSuave advice on common mistakes but I couldn't spot any mistake. My looks are definitely not the problem since I get dates, so it has to be my personality.

If women don't like my personality, so be it. I'ma try to make as much money as possible to make up for it, since I'm starting to believe that no "game" can fix my personality. Sounds sad, I know, but I've actually accepted it and the more I think about money, the happier I am.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

There are things in life that always came naturally to me like friends or professional achievements. I never asked for a friend, yet there were always guys who invited me to parties and wanted to gain my friendship. My professional life is just as trouble-free. I've always done my best and the professional achievements came naturally as a reward.

Women, however, never came naturally to me. Those rare times when I had success with them can simply be explained by the fact that every dog has his day.

I tried everything! Believe me!

- I established a connection with them, quickly acted as if I had something else to do. Didn't work
- Never gave my entire self to them. Didn't work
- Played it smooth. Didn't work
- Bought some nice clothes. Didn't work
- I was coc*y and funny. Didn't work
- I smiled and made eye contact. Didn't work
- Initiated Kino. Didn't work
- Intentionally disagreed with them. Didn't work

Now, at the age of 25, I've accepted that I'm just not the guy women want, even though I've been told I'm handsome quite often. Women don't come naturally to me, so I won't even try anymore.

There are guys who are spoilt for choice and have the luxury to decide between a large number of women who would give everything they own just to go on a date with them. Why should I fight this unnecessary uphill battle? It's like a real estate agent trying to sell you an ordinary single-family home in an ordinary suburb while you're competing with 10 other prospective buyers for a $3million-private home with tall ceilings and a designer pool.

I'm chasing money now. There are so many great things about money. More free time, better cars, better holidays, better restaurants, and the ability to fulfil your own dreams. Maybe there will come a time when women come to me naturally, maybe not. I don't know.

I hear you. I'm 27 years old and have only been with 5 women, and 1 of those was an escort. Though I can count up about a dozen missed opportunities in college I had that I missed. My father was a blue pill man and I didn't have any older brothers. Everything I know was self-taught, and I seem to have done better at basic attraction when I wasn't aware of "game" back in those college days. Since then I've tried everything youve talked about too with very limited results.

Also, don't buy into the notion that every man besides you is getting laid all the time. All men brag about how much V they get, but I think most of them are fakers. We're conditioned in this society to be utterly obsessed with notch count. I have a friend who claims to have been with 50-60 women, but can't get through a single conversation telling you this over and over. He's a very insecure little boy at heart and is probably lying.

I believe that 80-90% of men are struggling and there might be 10% that enjoy that "luxury" as you put it. In order to get to that 10% you have to get your stuff together first. Chase the money and establish yourself. I think that's probably why most older men will tell you the best doesn't come for a man until mid 30s, and that the 20s are the worst time because we're on the wrong end of the SMV scale while women are peaking left and right

I've given up "cold approaching" and all that horse **** for a while. If I meet a girl on an airplane, in line at the store, in a hostel when I travel, fine. I've gotten a few dates like that the last year or two. But "sarging" the odds are so heavily against you its not worth it

 

[Skyline]

It could be the fact that most women nowadays are not single or are interested in someone else.

This is why you shouldn't chase any farther if she isn't reciprocating interest. Women who are interested in you will make it very obvious, Anti-Dump Machiene explained this.

I'm not saying you shouldn't approach that girl you think is attractive, you should, but if she isn't dropping signs of interest then move on.

In my experience so far, I'm currently choosing girls, whom are, unknowingly, are already with someone. It means I'm looking at the right girls it's just that it's in the wrong place.

I'm confident once I find a single girl, who checks everything on my list, then no other guy is even a threat. There has been a couple of instances where I would find a single girl, but she was already talking to someone else, so I would end up being late to the party.

Don't stress over dead dates or numbers, just find a girl who makes it obvious and easy for you.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Trying too hard is guaranteed woman repellent. Learn to not give a fvck, and stop worrying about women. Do your own stuff, have a good time doing it and if women enjoy doing it with you then awesome. If not, meh, their loss.

 

[Fitters]

This is gold right here !
When it becomes a lifestyle the women will come in.
Currently with a girl now but multiple women want to bed me. Solid place to be.

 

[slight]

I checked out SoSuave advice on common mistakes but I couldn't spot any mistake. My looks are definitely not the problem since I get dates, so it has to be my personality.

If women don't like my personality, so be it. I'ma try to make as much money as possible to make up for it, since I'm starting to believe that no "game" can fix my personality. Sounds sad, I know, but I've actually accepted it and the more I think about money, the happier I am.

See, I think it's your mindset. The way you perceive yourself is so important, I can't stress that enough. I'm not saying you should be extremely ****y, but it is upsetting and frustrating to think the way you do. It's good you have other ambitions though.

In the end of the day, most of us get rejected. Some quite a lot, others not as much. However, it's absolutely crucial that you do not see yourself as an undesirable guy.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

This is gold right here !
When it becomes a lifestyle the women will come in.
Currently with a girl now but multiple women want to bed me. Solid place to be.

Yup... it is awesome. I am not rich or handsome or a gym bunny. I am in adequate shape. I have success because I have sexual confidence (I am not afraid to let my sexual intentions be known) and I am not trying to be anything but me. I know how to be me so I am confident. There are women who are into me and women who aren't. I don't NEED any of them and they know that. It puts the pressure on them to win me, not on me to chase them.

 

[The Duke]

There are things in life that always came naturally to me like friends or professional achievements. I never asked for a friend, yet there were always guys who invited me to parties and wanted to gain my friendship. My professional life is just as trouble-free. I've always done my best and the professional achievements came naturally as a reward.

Women, however, never came naturally to me. Those rare times when I had success with them can simply be explained by the fact that every dog has his day.

I tried everything! Believe me!

- I established a connection with them, quickly acted as if I had something else to do. Didn't work
- Never gave my entire self to them. Didn't work
- Played it smooth. Didn't work
- Bought some nice clothes. Didn't work
- I was coc*y and funny. Didn't work
- I smiled and made eye contact. Didn't work
- Initiated Kino. Didn't work
- Intentionally disagreed with them. Didn't work

Women are elusive/fickle creatures, even the guy that appears to have them at his finger types will tell you the same thing. At the end of the day you have to not care so much. Just do your thing and be true to yourself. Thats what women find most attractive. Stop being someone you are not. Be yourself, some won't want, you but others will get moist in the panties for it.

Some girls won't like some of those things you listed. The nice clothes thing can come across as too "metro" to some girls. Just to intentionally disagree with someone for the sake of disagreeing is not being true to who you are. When you do it it needs to be done in a very playful tone. Or it comes across as just being fake/ass and women pick up on that stuff instantly. ****y/Funny won't work on a girl who isn't real secure. You will make her clam up and she'll think you are rude.

You can't just throw out something you read on Sosuave and expect it to work. It has to be congruent to who you are and You also have to calibrate to your audience.

 

[DiegoSantori]

You can't just throw out something you read on Sosuave and expect it to work. It has to be congruent to who you are and You also have to calibrate to your audience.

That's why I've used the term "naturally". I tried everything that I had learned on SoSuave and I failed since it was all artifical. There are people who were born with natural, non-artificial attractive traits and unfortunately, I'm not one of them. That's something I've accepted a short while ago, and I'm consequently left with no option but to congratulate them on their genetic stroke of luck and leave the field to them.

 

[The Duke]

But you can't just quit because you are no good at something! This whole journey is about self improvement. I would try and find a guy to go out with that knows his way around women. Have him critique your interactions with females and help you get better.

 

[RangerMIke]

25 is a tough age for a guy. It was for me. Women right out of college really are not interested in men their own age. I was in an Infantry unit at that age... and spent half that year sitting in the desert during Desert Shield and Desert Storm. When I got back I was a mental mess. Not traumatized or anything... just being 6 months in a desert makes you sort of not normal for awhile. The was really the only time in my life I had problems with women, I was out of practice looked like hell.

For me my HS and college years were GREAT. My mid to late 20s was relatively bad. 30's picked back up again, 40's even better. The older you get the better things are as long as as a man you are taking care of business and yourself. I just turned 50 this past May and so far it's never been better.

 

[AlexLefty1]

Congrats on improving your life and working on what you think is important.

But you sound like a cry baby. Girls don't come naturally to you? So what? Boohoo. Look at my journal if you want motivation. I'm introverted as fvck (more than I ever really realized) and girls don't came naturally to me either. But, after some seriously focused effort I'm starting to see improvements. I'm not going to validate your defeatist attitude. If you're unhappy with the way you handle women, then figure out a way to fvcking fix it

 

[AlexLefty1]

But you can't just quit because you are no good at something! This whole journey is about self improvement. I would try and find a guy to go out with that knows his way around women. Have him critique your interactions with females and help you get better.

What he said

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

You say you are good looking and smart. You won the genetic lottery. EVERYTHING ELSE is learned skills (unless you are autistic).

You hav ea head full of tips and tricks and it is destroying your game. Women are not that difficult.

Don't be a douche.
Let them know you are interested.
Spot the ones who are interested back.
Don't let them push you around.
Take it further.

 

[marmel75]

So much wrong with this mindset I'm not sure where to start.

So basically if it doesn't come easy to you, then just quit is what you are saying.

Sounds about right for this generation where a day of hard work means having to stay 15 minutes after the time they were supposed to get off and a day where they had to actually do work for more than half the day rather than incessantly check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or browse the web on the clock...

 

[DiegoSantori]

But you sound like a cry baby. Girls don't come naturally to you? So what? Boohoo.

I assume that you misinterpreted the intention of my post. I'm not whining. Quite the contrary, I'm actually at peace with it. I've accepted my situation and I firmly believe that acceptance is an important part of the emotional process of coping with any difficult situation.

Some of you say that I quit, which is not true. Think of it this way: I'm like a businessman who had his own company and he tried to sell his products but there were initial difficulties, so he had to think of new ways to sell his products, so he tried and tried and tried to use any selling technique that he learned about to help him become a better salesperson.

At the end of the day, however, the turnover of his company was disappointing, so he decided to shut down his company to commit himself wholeheartedly to the development of new products because he was now convinced that the problem wasn't the selling techniques but the product itself.

And, in my case, the product is my SMV aka my money. Simple but effective.

I realized that I've made the mistake that most guys in their 20s make. I was chasing women. Even when I acted aloof and disinterested, strictly speaking, I was still chasing them, since I was focused on them, not on money. Most guys try to get chicks when they're in their 20s when most of them are low value to women and try to "get rich" in their 30s when they're high value to women. They've wasted both decades. I should do the opposite. Every guy in his 20s should do the opposite.