If a woman is truly interested in you, she will make it easy...

[Hamurabimbi]

So you're trying to falsify the conventional wisdom using your experience with women in their 30s and 40s from dating apps? C'mon man.

I agree with the CW.

 

[kavi]

...not always.

Some background: I am soon to turn 40, six foot, divorced with two children and am in decent shape. I run and visit the gym pretty regularly. All my life I've been complimented on my looks, which trust me guys, can be a real curse. Especially since I'm a pretty quiet, and rather serious guy. All sorts of women have called me hot, cute, ridiculously good looking, a heartbreaker, etc, etc but this has certainly not translated into above average success with them. Yes, I've banged some pretty hot women, however these experiences are few and far between. In my experience, an average looking guy with good game will way outmatch a good looking guy who lacks game any day. Someone here recently said that women expect above average looking guys to have above average game, which I have found to be very true.

I have a very similar exp.

 

[RobbyDog]

Too many guys confuse

"Women making it easy" with "Women falling into my lap without any effort put in whatsoever on my part"

I’ve had a few quality relationship women who required very little effort during dating…no testing, no flakiness, no BS, none of that. They literally pursued me almost immediately. One woman would ask me when she could see me again right after a date was over!

I think women play hard to get for two main reasons: baggage, and/or they perceive your attainability to be too low.

If not those things, they just aren’t interested.
I find it hilarious that us guys chat here using logic and reason to try and understand women’s chaotic minds

 

[Solomon]

Even if women are interested, about 99% of them will still want the man to chase at the very beginning, at least to an extent. The "making it easy" bit comes into play in that you don't deal with flakiness and drama. It certainly doesn't mean you, as the man, are suddenly not expected to do any work to get her into your schedule.

I think that is a pretty big misconception that OP and others are seeming to make.

SPOT on a woman who is into you and won't flake or drama and

If she's into you she will text you back right away
If she's into you she will want to see you and don't have to ask
If she's into you she will put her best foot and behavior forward

But guys think it's like a porno movie where a girl wears nothing under a trench coat and as soon as you open the door she pounces sorry fellas but that's not real life (well not 99% of the time anyway)

 

[Zimbabwe]

Just because she’s making it easy for you in the first couple of weeks means NOTHING. So many women these days purposely try to speed up the “getting to know you stage” where they basically force 3 months of normal dating into a couple weeks. What I mean is they demand to see you 2-3 times the first week and every week after that and it’s still not enough for some, they demand you text then throughout the day becsuse they need that reassurance and if you miss a day they begin to lose interest and they’ll start and argument over it under the guise of “I need someone who can CoMUnICaTE”. It’s bull**** to be honest. Im thinking what I’m going to do going forward is I don’t care how well the first date goes, how good she looks, how much fun I had, I’m just going to dump them through text after the date. Im tired of being the dumpee, it’s time to be the dumper. These women freaking obsess over guys who rejected them after a date or two, so that’s what I’m going to start doing.

The light that burns twice as bright, goes out just as fast.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP, this is why you have to use a script with the app women. Over time you have a bench mark for how women who truly have high interest will behave. Most of the true high interest women will want you to chase a little bit, but over time you will get a feel for who is wanting you to provide a small token pursuit, those who are playing hard to get, and those who are using you for attention. Basically if they're putting effort into the convo and open to some kind of sexual banter, then they are truly high interest, but the script will illuminate you as to how much.

You need the script to screen and calibrate correctly and efficiently. Just make sure to have a loose script so you don't sound forced or robotic.

 

[G-Unit]

I don't agree with this.
The current girl I'm seeing is in LOVE with me and chases HARD, but initially she was VERY hesitant and it was not "easy" at all. I think it is BS honestly, just speaking from experience.

I find that often I have to put in way more effort at first...it's like pulling teeth with some of these broads...

100% hit the nail on the head. Like pulling teeth. And I just DON'T believe there is an abundance of 6'4'' billionaire Chad slayers walking around, when you see these girls with guys the guys are usually average, nothing exceptional. Communication/game is big.

 

[derby1]

Just because she’s making it easy for you in the first couple of weeks means NOTHING. So many women these days purposely try to speed up the “getting to know you stage” where they basically force 3 months of normal dating into a couple weeks. What I mean is they demand to see you 2-3 times the first week and every week after that and it’s still not enough for some, they demand you text then throughout the day becsuse they need that reassurance and if you miss a day they begin to lose interest and they’ll start and argument over it under the guise of “I need someone who can CoMUnICaTE”. It’s bull**** to be honest. Im thinking what I’m going to do going forward is I don’t care how well the first date goes, how good she looks, how much fun I had, I’m just going to dump them through text after the date. Im tired of being the dumpee, it’s time to be the dumper. These women freaking obsess over guys who rejected them after a date or two, so that’s what I’m going to start doing.

you cant do this until youve given her a **** orgasm bro, only then does the jedi pull back work

 

[Atom Smasher]

I’ve had a few quality relationship women who required very little effort during dating…no testing, no flakiness, no BS, none of that. They literally pursued me almost immediately. One woman would ask me when she could see me again right after a date was over!

I think women play hard to get for two main reasons: baggage, and/or they perceive your attainability to be too low.

If not those things, they just aren’t interested.
I find it hilarious that us guys chat here using logic and reason to try and understand women’s chaotic minds

The understanding is that there is nothing to understand. Women’s nature is clouds rolling across the sky. Always changing, always moving. Just observe. Take shelter when it rains, and enjoy the sunshine. Never try to understand the clouds. They just are.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The understanding is that there is nothing to understand. Women’s nature is clouds rolling across the sky. Always changing, always moving. Just observe. Take shelter when it rains, and enjoy the sunshine. Never try to understand the clouds. They just are.

Barometric readings can have value though

 

[Atom Smasher]

Barometric readings can have value though

I would agree in that changes in barometric pressure are predictive of coming meteorological reversals.

It can be useful to be able to know what’s coming from beyond the horizon.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I agree with much of the material in the responses here. Especially @BackInTheGame78 and @Barrister but also you have be mindful of what @LARaiders85 is saying.

People are lazy these days. Hell, OP is kinda lazy. How much time investment is there when you are on your porcelain throne doing your business and swiping?

Effort in, result out.

My guy is like OP. Over 6’, hot, athletic, handsome. Met him in real life. At a live music venue. He’s also introverted, direct, logical, brilliant & socially awkward at times, which people assume must be arrogance for the fact that he’s good looking. He’s a strong silent type until you get to know him.

What you are looking for first is a girl who a.)Seems utterly unaffected by your looks and b.) Takes an interest in who you are rather than what you look like.

If you are hot she will let you know that too…but she needs to be able to handle your looks in stride & be a cool person.

Maybe you need to aim higher looks wise. Sometimes that is the solution.

 

[RobbyDog]

I agree with much of the material in the responses here. Especially @BackInTheGame78 and @Barrister but also you have be mindful of what @LARaiders85 is saying.

People are lazy these days. Hell, OP is kinda lazy. How much time investment is there when you are on your porcelain throne doing your business and swiping?

Effort in, result out.

I don’t disagree. Of course I expect to put in effort. But in my experience some women have been almost effortless to date—I ask for her number, set up dates etc with minimal to no resistance or flakiness on their part. Others, especially of a bit lower SMV seem to expect me to chase them and put in all the work. I remember my first girlfriend at 17 who was on the heavier side played hard to get at first. I remember her saying that persistence pays when pursuing a woman. Women aren’t used to dealing with rejection as much as men are, so they take extra steps to guard themselves from it, to avoid being pumped and dumped.

To make matters worse, dating app women will string the better looking guys along for attention. They love the feeling of being chased by them.

What you are looking for first is a girl who a.)Seems utterly unaffected by your looks and b.) Takes an interest in who you are rather than what you look like.

If you are hot she will let you know that too…but she needs to be able to handle your looks in stride & be a cool person.

Maybe you need to aim higher looks wise. Sometimes that is the solution.

Yup. I know some women have said I make them nervous which certainly makes things harder. Problem I’ve faced, is the hotter women expect the better looking guys to have the game to match.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don’t disagree. Of course I expect to put in effort. Problem I’ve faced, is the hotter women expect the better looking guys to have the game to match.

I get it. My fiancé is a natural introvert. Because he’s gorgeous people assume he’s arrogant rather than introverted. The funny thing is that when we chatted the first time I realized he’s not a social butterfly and I appreciate and understand that about him. So it didn’t bug me.

My point is that a girl who takes a genuine interest in you will see through all the fluff and take interest in who you are.

You gotta stick to a high standard & screen for that (hold out for that) which may seem counter intuitive.

Looking for quality is a different set of parameters than accumulating quantity.

 

[Barrister]

I get it. My fiancé is a natural introvert. Because he’s gorgeous people assume he’s arrogant rather than introverted. The funny thing is that when we chatted the first time I realized he’s not a social butterfly and I appreciate and understand that about him. So it didn’t bug me.

My point is that a girl who takes a genuine interest in you will see through all the fluff and take interest in who you are.

You gotta stick to a high standard & screen for that (hold out for that) which may seem counter intuitive.

Looking for quality is a different set of parameters than accumulating quantity.

Anyone who is good looking and quiet is automatically assumed to be a snob/stuck up - especially by those who aren't good looking.

Those who are good looking and intelligent AND quiet are seen as arrogant - especially by those who are inferior when it comes to intelligence.

It seems to be programmed into people to behave this way. Envy is a strong part of the human condition.

 

[RobbyDog]

I get it. My fiancé is a natural introvert. Because he’s gorgeous people assume he’s arrogant rather than introverted. The funny thing is that when we chatted the first time I realized he’s not a social butterfly and I appreciate and understand that about him. So it didn’t bug me.

My point is that a girl who takes a genuine interest in you will see through all the fluff and take interest in who you are.

You gotta stick to a high standard & screen for that (hold out for that) which may seem counter intuitive.

Looking for quality is a different set of parameters than accumulating quantity.

Gotcha. I never even thought that people might think I’m arrogant—in my mind I’m just an average guy really.

But yeah, I’ve met a few great women who almost seemed to take it as a challenge to open me up. Most women I’ve dated have said they weren’t sure if I even liked them for the first while because I don’t give much away.

I’ll likely never be a player and spin a bunch of plates, which is fine with me really. I respect those guys who can and do, but picking up women certainly does not come naturally to me and truthfully there’s things I’d rather do with my time than constantly be on the hunt.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Constantly being in the hunt for the p is slavery, though most men don’t know it yet. It takes a while to realize what an exercise in dissipation that hunt can be.

 

[zekko]

Just because she’s making it easy for you in the first couple of weeks means NOTHING.

If you have the looks to attract a good number of women to you, that means you are able to more quickly screen women if you are looking for one of suitable quality that appeals to you. So if you can draw a number that make it easy for you for a few weeks, that is to your advantage. Also, for those that are just looking for ONS or STRs, that should be right up their alley as well.

But women play hard to get for the same reason guys use game. They're socially savvy enough not to appear to eager, and they are told the same things we get told: be indifferent don't supplicate, be a challenge, etc. That plus they may genuinely be indifferent since they tend to have more options, and tend to fall in love more slowly.

 

[RobbyDog]

But women play hard to get for the same reason guys use game. They're socially savvy enough not to appear to eager, and they are told the same things we get told: be indifferent don't supplicate, be a challenge, etc. That plus they may genuinely be indifferent since they tend to have more options, and tend to fall in love more slowly.

Any tips for how to deal with women playing hard to get? It seems in these cases we have to act more interested, pay more compliments, etc…
It’s hard to know what to do

 

[zekko]

Any tips for how to deal with women playing hard to get? It seems in these cases we have to act more interested, pay more compliments, etc…
It’s hard to know what to do

I hear you, I honestly find PUA advice to be contradictory. I feel like unless women show interest, they don't deserve your attention, and everything else is supplicating. But for many of us, that means we won't be drawing much interest. My personal policy is grab your balls and invite her out, and if she doesn't accept, move on.