If a girl treats you badly...

[eko]

So there's this girl. She has interest in me but admittedly she treats me like crap. Last night we made plans to do something. She said definitely. Today she's at the beach with some of my friends and hers and didn't call me. She said sorry like a million times and said she really wanted to.

I basically told her stop treating me like ****. I know thats probably the 'least DJ' thing to say, but I had to say it, I need to take charge and just not let her do crap like that to me... she said it sounded like a breakup and i said maybe it was. but I gave her one more chance. I said this is the last one. she said we're definitely going to the beach on monday. I know I probably should have ended it right there, but she's pretty special. I feel like I'm chasing her instead of the other way around. I don't want anybody to be chasing anyone actually, but that's the way it seems like it is. I want to let go of this and her really badly but I keep giving her chances. Grr. I know she wants me but she said sometimes I piss her off too. Like she said she got upset last night when she wouldn't go get ice cream with me so I went with this other girl I'm just friends with. I said I just wanted to get ice cream but I think she got a little upset. She even called herself jealous. I certainly don't treat her badly. I'm the one that calls her most of the time, not the other way around. I tried ganji games or whatever that crap is and it wasn't real effective.

 

[DJSupremo]

I think you are coming off a little too strong.You are always available for her and you call her most of the time.She's not valuing the time she spends with you as precious.You should spend less time with her and more with other women;eventually she'll get to know and realise that she's not the only girl in your life and other girls might want you as well and her interest would increase ten-fold!If she brings it up that she's jealous then you should say you were just hanging around as friends and let her figure out what's really going on.It's only when these chics see that they are gonna lose something and other women dig it that they "come back to their senses" and do what you want and chase you.Moreover,when you spend time with other women you don't start doing AFC sappy things with this girl like telling her your true feeling and stuff hence you would look less desperate,kinda don't care attitude,which is an attraction all by itself.

Cheers

 

[oakraiderz2]

Stop talking to her.

 

[eko]

I think you are coming off a little too strong.You are always available for her and you call her most of the time.She's not valuing the time she spends with you as precious.You should spend less time with her and more with other women;eventually she'll get to know and realise that she's not the only girl in your life and other girls might want you as well and her interest would increase ten-fold!If she brings it up that she's jealous then you should say you were just hanging around as friends and let her figure out what's really going on.It's only when these chics see that they are gonna lose something and other women dig it that they "come back to their senses" and do what you want and chase you.Moreover,when you spend time with other women you don't start doing AFC sappy things with this girl like telling her your true feeling and stuff hence you would look less desperate,kinda don't care attitude,which is an attraction all by itself.

Cheers

That's what I try to do. We're not going out or anything but I hooked up with another girl and she got really mad. I think that made things worse though. But you're right. I'm gonna start flirting with other girls again.

The problem is though, I don't see her that much. We've been trying to plan something for a long long time... we hung out ONCE... and I asked her to chill a few times after that but SHE is the one that messes up the plans most of the time. I told her if she plans something she's sticking to it or she's gonna have no more chances. her excuse for today was bs

im just gonna stop talking to her i guess and bail on her plans

 

[Last Man Standing]

Why does she owe you? Is she your wife? If a woman doesn't do as she said then move on - she doesn't want you!!

 

[eko]

Why does she owe you? Is she your wife? If a woman doesn't do as she said then move on - she doesn't want you!!

thats the thing... she says she does. A little while ago she said "I want you". Flirts with me all the time... all that good stuff. Just disgruntling.

 

[Last Man Standing]

thats the thing... she says she does. A little while ago she said "I want you". Flirts with me all the time... all that good stuff. Just disgruntling.

She wants you and yet denies you and does things with others? Something does not compute!!

 

[tmpgstx]

Sounds like your classic case of 'AFC Orbiter'. Eko, you are just another guy in her galaxy of worshippers (if she is really good-looking). In other words, the more options she has, the less valuable you are to her.

You would really have to stand out to get leverage. I think DJSupremo's advice is spot-on for this situation. She is showing just enough interest to keep you around by giving you some hope. You are letting her do this. She likes control so take that control away from her.

 

[MacDiddy]

Read the Bible and get more of an understanding of the female mentality.

 

[Last Man Standing]

The problem is though, I don't see her that much. We've been trying to plan something for a long long time... we hung out ONCE... and I asked her to chill a few times after that but SHE is the one that messes up the plans most of the time.

This means she doesn't want you - wake up!!!

 

[MacDiddy]

break up with her and set yourself free...

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Read the Bible and get more of an understanding of the female mentality.

nah, don't read the bible, next time you see her try to fvck her, then you'll know the answer.

 

[MacDiddy]

nah, don't read the bible, next time you see her try to fvck her, then you'll know the answer.

Thats good Crankitup. I'm glad you know what the end goal is.........


If only life was that simple.....

 

[karusel]

Oh, OP, you're such a nice guy, you gave her one more chance. That's just too cute.

You should have cut her off right there and MOVE ON. If, and only IF she would persist and insist on a date, you might accept, but make no space for her, if there's schedule conflict, suggest another day. In fact, another day even if there is no schedule conflict. You make her play by your rules now you're playing by her's.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Thats good Crankitup. I'm glad you know what the end goal is.........


If only life was that simple.....

you are right, life is anything but simple... but here is my theory. Life is too short to waste time wondering, so go for it and find out, either yes or no. If yes, great, if not, change girls. That my friend, is very simple.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

if a girl treats you badly. give her a taste of her own medicine. treat her like crap if you have too.

i had a girl like this once. she told her friends she liked me but she would make jokes about me and humiliate me in public all the time. so i did the same to her, even went as far as beating her in a movie showing. she never made fun of me again, and she became my gf for 2 weeks.

lol, only 2 weeks? Must not have been a very good beating.

 

[karusel]

Yeah, this one time, I've beaten a girl so hard, she was my GF for 3 years!

 

[Jariel]

Instead of laying down demands and showing anger, do the opposite and be cool with her. Ignore her calls, be indifferent and treat her like you're not that interested. Without saying anything to her, just let her get the impression that her behaviour is offputting to you and it's causing you doubts.

You will instinctively feel like you are driving her away or you will lose her by acting this way, but in these situations you have to take a leap of faith. 9 times out of 10, the girl will start to do the chasing and you'll find yourself in a position of power again.

 

[Jariel]

Take a look at this tip for some real life examples...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=82346