If a girl refuses sex... I get pissed off. Is this good or bad?

[Funlol]

So I just had a girl I've been gaming for a while come over to my house. This is the second time she's been over. The first time we ALMOST had sex.. so I was confident that this time would be a sure bet. Unfortunately it wasn't... it was just another long night of making out and awful handjobs. Anyways... when I realized I wasn't going to f*ck her, I drove her home. I was pissed. I barely talked the whole ride home (20 minutes)... and she could tell I was pissed about no sex. I tried to be pleasant and force conversation but I just couldnt. Wasn't in the mood. I asked her why we didn't have sex and she kept giving awful excuses like "I have to wake up early tomorrow" to which I replied "I would send you home after we were done" and her other excuse was "We don't have enough time" to which I replied "Well, we were at my house for two hours and you wouldnt let me do anything from the beginning"... anyways... I think she just wasn't ready yet or not attracted enough.

But... the problem is... anytime this happens to me, I get ****ing pissed and just stop talking to the girls. Kind of like a *****y freeze out. I try not to... try to pretend to still be happy, but I just can't. Usually the girl asks what's wrong, etc. etc...

My question is... is this bad? I read that I should get to the point where sex refusal doesn't faze me... and I shouldn't care about sex... but for some reason it just pisses me off. What do women usually think when guys do this?

 

[GettinLuckyAintLuck]

They think the exact truth. That you haven't been laid in a really long time. Try jacking off more. Women are fascinating creatures, this chick definitley sensed how much you wanted to **** her, and she refused to test you, to see if you would be cool with it, and it turns out you really weren't. I doubt you'll hear from her again, unless she's a slut and is craving cawk, or wants to **** with you some more....Your reaction said nothing good about what you think of her as a person, you gettin' mad basically said this "YOU FAWKEN WHO RE I JUST WANT TO FUK U, U LITTLE BlTCH, I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR U, I RESPECT YOUR PUS S Y"

 

[Funlol]

haha so true. i agree with everything you said. and that is almost certainly what she thinks.

(but I get laid constantly... 3 different girls last week... i'm just always desperate for some reason.. never satisfied)

i think the problem is... the more i invest into a girl, the more I think I "deserve" something. i've been out with this girl twice (met at a nightclub).. but for some reason (like a chump) i paid for dinners both times and drove her 20 minutes back to her apartment... I also called her a few times to set up dates and spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME thinking about her (I think thats the key). gotta stop investing my time, energy, and thoughts.. and then i will stop caring about getting sex

 

[horaholic]

Bad move. NEVER EVER EVER let a woman know you're pissed about her not giving it up. You need to study up on LMR tactics. Play it super cool, like its no big deal, then try again. Repeat if necessary. I had my ex, who I've banged several hundred times try to pull that shyt the other night. I played it somewhat cool, but not enough. She got irritated, then I just started making out with her, and kept plowing until she fvcked me a few times. Note: You cant go too hardcore with the plowing with a new girl, or thats borderline rape! But, you can still plow.

The key is to Be UNREACTIVE, and non outcome dependant. Dont beg, dont plead, and dont call her a tease or get pissed.

Learn from this, and hopefully, you'll be able to handle it from the next girl.

Yes. it was a test, and you failed, and its very doubtful you'll hear from her again. Oh, and her friends will probably hear about it too, so dont expect them to be very warm to you either.

If it makes you feel any better, I think we've all done this before. Its a learning experience.

 

[Funlol]

Perfect... Thanks for the reply. Gotta read up more on lmr tactics apparently... I've been getting rejected alot at the last minute lately.. Probably because I appear too desperate

just gotta try and act not pissed off (even tho I am haha I'm surprised I didn't beat this girl tonight)... Thankfully I think that now knowing that is the way I should be acting will help me be less pissed off

 

[Dubh]

U shouldnt let it effect you but your human so what ever you do dont do it in front of her but you should be spinning plates so you can next her if thats all you want is a lay

 

[DanelMadr]

Yeah, you blew it. And you know it.

You getting pissed off, it is some hurt ego man. Actually lots of date rapes happen this way. Rape is in most cases about power not about lust (criminology lecture )

You think you deserve it. You went a long way to be able to ask pick girl up kiss her etc. You had to get rid of fear of rejection and lots of other issues, worries. It was a long and hard way and now you want to take a shortcut And it does not work out....thats why you are pissed.

Well, be cool, she might just be ashamed of her body....you are the Man you should take a rejection with cool head. Btw have you ever rejected a girl? They get really pissed off. Poor girls Don't be like them.

Maybe you should "apologize" (by phone or personally) in terms of "I'm sorry I was pissed off last night, I was just disappointed. I was looking forward to get more intimate with you, y'know. No hard feelings and don't worry, I still like you." And don't mean it like you want another try...even if you want

Next time, do not touch her, throw her out early...it will piss her off....and then kiss her and hold her when she is almost out of the door.
Making love has to be unplanned...spark of the moment.

 

[Funlol]

Thanks for the replies guys. Some good advice. I'll use it for the next girl.

I'm not even going to try and get the girl mentioned above back. Not worth it.. and to be honest I don't even want her anymore. So I guess it was a good girl to learn this lesson with.

 

[ONEE]

Had this happen to me like two weeks ago. she ddnt wanna give up the puss after like the 3rd night sleeping with her so I kicked her the fukc out and she had to find her own way home she was from out of town. 3days later we were back talking with eachother. Reason she didn't wanna give it up though because she's a virgin... You think the girl in this situation could be a virgin? **** takes time.

 

[Ease]

I've had this happen in an LTR. Its different if it happens during first time sex, and if it happens randomly for no reason.

If its a first night Last minute resistance thing, then listen to horaholic.

If this happens randomly with a girl youve been hooking up with, dont react badly to it or else she will use it again to manipulate you. Instead you need to get out of there fast. If its clear that you arent gona get it that night, then make an excuse and get out of the house, or get her to leave ASAP.

If you stay and act like theres nothing wrong, you're gona reward her bi*chy behaviour, and in turn be a bi*ch yourself. If you get angry then you're giving her a tool to manipulate you and she will use it again to get you angry.

Roosh wrote a post on this recently which is great.

 

[Funlol]

Ease,
I think your advice is good and most suitable for me. Thanks.
If I keep pushing through and "ignoring" her rejections, I just keep getting more and more frustrated. Next time I'll do my best and try everything I can to make it happen, but if it's clear I'm not going to get any, I think it's better for me to just count my losses and make an excuse to get rid of her before I let my anger/frustration show.

 

[Funlol]

Had this happen to me like two weeks ago. she ddnt wanna give up the puss after like the 3rd night sleeping with her so I kicked her the fukc out and she had to find her own way home she was from out of town. 3days later we were back talking with eachother. Reason she didn't wanna give it up though because she's a virgin... You think the girl in this situation could be a virgin? **** takes time.

Na, this girl isn't a virgin. She is a club slut. I think she just gets off on the attention guys in the club give her.
I've had a similar sitatuon as you however (virgin) that I talked about in this thread - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173888
I'm pretty sure this new girl IS NOT a virgin.

LOL at kicking her out of your house. I've had the urge to do that a few times but wasn't man enough to do so (and regret it now). Props to you :rockon:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

A woman's imagination is the most powerful tool in your DJ toolkit. By expressing your frustration overtly and directly you leave her no doubt about your own position and why you're behaving as you are (i.e. like a frustrated, sulking child). When you express a desire to be intimate with her, and she does not reciprocate in kind, a mature Man promptly, but curtly, closes the book on her. She should no longer have the privilege of being able to read him directly. Your attention, interests, attraction, etc. is a privilege; by removing that she is forced back into a position of having to come to conclusions on her own. She has to guess and rely on her imagination and whatever intuition she has to read you.

What you did was a clumsy takeaway. Her lasting impression of you is now one of frustration and angst - and you solidified that impression by being overt about it. You weren't wrong in what you did, rather you executed it poorly.

 

[Zarky]

I have to admit, the last 3 times I got pissed at women who looked like they weren't going to give it up, they gave it up. However, those women were in their 30s. Back in college when I was dating 19-22s getting mad didn't work very well. They were apologetic but never ended up sleeping with me.

I think it depends. As they get older, women realize they better put out. One girl a couple of years ago was at dinner with me. She said, "I think sex is holy," and I got pissed and told her she was full of crap and then I got up and went to the bathroom. She thought I was leaving the restaurant. Later that night we had sex in her car. Hardly 'holy.'

Another girl refused to put out so I didn't call her for 2 weeks. When I did, she cried and told me she'd been raped a few years ago and still wasn't over it. I went over there drunk that night and we screwed.

Most recently I sent some pissed off emails to a girl who said she wanted to "wait" before having sex. 2 weeks later she invited me over to do just that.

I think getting mad about it can work wonders, if you have a good reason for doing so. If you make her feel like she SHOULD be having sex with you and that you are justified in your anger because she's not being fair to you, you'll do fine. Also, you need to have a 'bad boy' vibe going from the very beginning. If you start out as a 'nice guy' and then switch to being angry about not having sex, she'll be creeped out.

 

[Rookie_son]

yeah i had this happen to me before about a year ago, we'd go to the city then go back to my place get naked and nothing would happen other than make out and little stuff. after a while i got annoyed and stopped contacting her and when we did go out and she wanted to stay over i'd say no and just take her to the bus stop after a night out to her own place. After a while of this i let her stay over again and ****ed. she was bad at it and i just moved on quickly.

i regretted it later as she was a great girl but i wasn't looking for a relationship. Turns out the reason she was playing hard to get/making me invest was because i was only her second guy and the first guy pumped and dumped her. Felt bad about it after that.