Idiotic approach at the bus stop

[AreYouSingleFemale]

Another failed approach this morning, on the way to work saw this cute girl walking to work , and parked my motor bike at a safe place and followed upto her like just another guy just got off from the bus or taxie. I followed her for a few minutes as I wanted to ascertain she was a single woman by looking at certain signs (like for the lack of a silver ring most married women in India wear on one of their toes) and also did not want to get her killed by approaching while she is crossing the road.
When I felt it was hightime to approach I still delayed because the plan (indirect one this time) I had in mind would make more sense the closer to the office complex. When I sensed she was being aware of a guy apparantly following her, I made her feel ease by walking parallel to her and even a few feet ahead of her, and then a moment later-
"Excuse me, do you think your office cafeteria would be open at time time?" (I knew her company name from her laptop bag)
( I didn't stop her, as this was going to be a pure indirect approach, instead kept walking by her side)
"Yes"
"Oh good, because I work in <blah company> and nothing would be available in our cafeteria at this time" (a lie)
"hmm "
"Are outsiders allowed in your cafeteria? I thought it is only for <your company> people"
"No, it is an open food court, you can just make an entry at the register and enter"
"Cool, do you know if anything will be avialable at this late hour? May be atleast a little ..."
"Ya, you could get tea"
"Nice. By the way <your company> has the <blah> division here right?"
"No, not only <blah> but also global services division"
"Oh I have seen your compan buses ply over to <another area> also, do they have an exclusive global services division over there?"
"No, even there there is both <blah> and the global services division"
"I see, I asked because I have interviewed for the <blah> division in the past.. before I joined <my company>"
"Hmm"
"But they were not willing to pay that good. They felt I was already getting a hefty pay"
"Hmm"
"But I heard the work in <blah> division is good. Core technology work..."
"Ya.."
<some pause>
"It is so hot today"
"Yah"
(we are distracted a bit because we have neared the office complex, and we have to cross the road, but I kept by her side. I could sense she knows my intentions already)
"This is the way to your cafeteria, the same as the path to your office?"
She points forward and says "There, then take right.."
Her office entrance has nearly arrived.
"Why dont you join me for a coffee or something, I hope you are not very busy"
She lies that she has a meeting.
"Oh, meeting? Can we catch up later ? If you give me your email id or mobile number ..."
She had expected this sort of thing, tries to still keep a pleasant expression on her face and some indistict words and disappeared into her office.
After this I traced all the way back to my orphaned motor bike.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

THERE ARE NO FAILED APPROACHES.

Trust me, get out of that headspace, and do not hold your interactions with women and other people based on some standard set on the internet by people with their own perspectives in life, who know nothing about your situation besides a short wall of text. I am kicking myself for this sh*t as we speak.

JUST LET GO and BE REAL.

 

[underoath777]

My approach was copied from a PUA video where he stops a woman walking to Burger King and says
"Hello there, this is my first approach of the day, and I need to ask you a very quick question before I go out into the field. Do you think it is better to approach direct or indirect?"

That is just creepy. Who does that? "This is my approach of the day" What woman wouldn't think you're a complete nutjob?


As far as the girl you opened today, man, you were boring and creepy. You asked her stupid questions that she KNOWS you didn't care about. You need to be able to make her laugh. My guess is you need to work on body language and make sure you smile when you talk. You sound very timid.

You could've just told her, "Great! The caf in my building is horrible, and we've got the scary old lunch lady like back in school!"

Get her laughing. Tell her you like her laugh. You have to have her WORK for YOU.

Why would you want to take a girl out who barely communicated with you? She KNOWS you just want to sleep with her.

You have to make her feel like she earned your attraction.

Then, you could've asked her what her story was, and just talk to her man.


Dude, just go to Google and type PUA opinion openers...that should help you out for right now, but you NEED TO WORK ON YOUR INNER GAME.

It's all about body language and confidence. Seriously, I can walk up to a girl and say anything, and VERY RARELY get blown out because I have a smile on my face and I'm confident.

You need to make conversation and not conduct an interview. I noticed you did try to make conversation, but you need to talk about HER. Everyone's favorite topic is themselves. Frankly, she didnt give a sh!t about where you interviewed. Maybe she would if you asked her about herself.


You need to acknowledge that you don't know what you're doing.

You need to start from the beginning, because two years of this and you should be legittttt by now.


I've been doing this for 6 months, and I keep track of EVERY mistake I make. Now I'm legit at approaches, and I'm now working on inner game and female psychology to find a legit relationship.

SO GO BACK AND READ THE DJ BIBLE!!!

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

As far as the girl you opened today, man, you were boring and creepy. You asked her stupid questions that she KNOWS you didn't care about. You need to be able to make her laugh. My guess is you need to work on body language and make sure you smile when you talk. You sound very timid.

I didn't attempt C&F with her because she might be alarmed or even annoyed by some stranger guy walking along with her and cracking jokes. Don't think you think that could come off as creepy? That's why I kept it just a matter of fact conversation.
If I had gotten her to have an instant date then I could work C&F on her.

Why would you want to take a girl out who barely communicated with you? She KNOWS you just want to sleep with her.

You have to make her feel like she earned your attraction.

Then I wonder what you would say to David Deangelo's suggestion of walking up to an attractive girl at a restaurant and saying someting along the lines of "I saw you when you entered, and I thought I should talk to you. Give me your number"
And a few weeks ago I did do C&F on another average looking girl at our office cafeteria at lunch, established rapport, and even got her number. But when I called her the next day and asked her to join me for tea she said she was busy and that she would call me back, and never did. Later again when I called her she deliberately didn't pick up the phone. Then I never called her back. I'm clueless and am getting old.

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

Don't trust those videos...they're salesmen. Those canned pickup lines sound stupid to me. Just make your own way.
.

On the contrary they appear like valuable tools for portraying one's confidence to women.

 

[DavenJuan]

THERE ARE NO FAILED APPROACHES.

Trust me, get out of that headspace, and do not hold your interactions with women and other people based on some standard set on the internet by people with their own perspectives in life, who know nothing about your situation besides a short wall of text. I am kicking myself for this sh*t as we speak.

JUST LET GO and BE REAL.

Forty is absolutely correct..

there is NO FAILED approach. the key is to realize the things you would like to change in your approach.

and no one on these forums knows your specific situation, or anything about your personality to be able to tell you exactly how to handle yourself. the only thing people can do is try and give you some sort of foundation based on their OWN experiences. its up to you to figure out what works for you best.

in regards to your approach today:

what do YOU think went wrong? what did you take away from this situation....???

 

[underoath777]

I didn't attempt C&F with her because she might be alarmed or even annoyed by some stranger guy walking along with her and cracking jokes. Don't think you think that could come off as creepy? That's why I kept it just a matter of fact conversation.
If I had gotten her to have an instant date then I could work C&F on her.

No, lol. ****y and funny comes off as....****y and funny. Matter of fact conversation comes off as boring and in your case, creepy.

Then I wonder what you would say to David Deangelo's suggestion of walking up to an attractive girl at a restaurant and saying someting along the lines of "I saw you when you entered, and I thought I should talk to you. Give me your number"

Yeah. That doesn't work. I don't know where you read that, but I guarantee you David D doesn't cold approach like that. That's bullsh!t.

And a few weeks ago I did do C&F on another average looking girl at our office cafeteria at lunch, established rapport, and even got her number. But when I called her the next day and asked her to join me for tea she said she was busy and that she would call me back, and never did. Later again when I called her she deliberately didn't pick up the phone. Then I never called her back. I'm clueless and am getting old.

Good! You realize C&F works! Here's the thing, girls flake man. You may not have established enough attraction, maybe she is a lesbian, maybe she gave you her number cuz she felt sorry for you. It just doesn't always work out.

Getting numbers are pointless just to get them. You should only get a number when you invite her out already, and then just grab the number to stay in contact with you. So much happens between the time you get her number and the time you call her.


Use more kino when you meet the girl as well, tease her, make her laugh. Learn about her too. Then let her know some things about you. After you realize it's going quite well, try to set up a time to chill and then get the number as a result of setting up a "date", not the other way around.

Don't give up man, as long as you keep striving to do better you can't fail

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

in regards to your approach today:

what do YOU think went wrong? what did you take away from this situation....???

I don't know man, I feel overwhelmed by the complex human dating game. Things are so much simple in the animal kingdom. Although there was no C&F conversation I feel she ought have given her number atleast as a reward for my approaching her on the street and striking a convo. I bet hardly any other guy did that to her, and still why does she have to behave like that.

I don't regret today's approach much, I only visited this thread again because I was depressed due to my cruel mother's repeated calling me and saying she will "fix" a wife for me, even though I told her to stay the heck out of my life. If only I had some women falling over me and I could show that to that woman and shut her mouth without any need for words.....

 

[DavenJuan]

I don't know man, I feel overwhelmed by the complex human dating game. Things are so much simple in the animal kingdom. Although there was no C&F conversation I feel she ought have given her number atleast as a reward for my approaching her on the street and striking a convo. I bet hardly any other guy did that to her, and still why does she have to behave like that.

doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insanity.

if you continue to approach (which you should do) and dont change anything or TRY and see what isnt working, then you arent making much progress brother.

dont get me wrong, it is a very good thing that you ignore the fear of rejection and approach. but what are you trying to accomplish from your approach?

my advice, and its ONLY advice, would be to NOT FOCUS on getting the number or setting up a date anymore. focus on having a geniune conversation with her.

see how far you can go with the approach. you woulld be amazed with some of the things you can get away with when you say it with confidence.

 

[FreD_BeaR]

I don't know man, I feel overwhelmed by the complex human dating game. Things are so much simple in the animal kingdom. Although there was no C&F conversation I feel she ought have given her number atleast as a reward for my approaching her on the street and striking a convo. I bet hardly any other guy did that to her, and still why does she have to behave like that.

Dude. Common. Its great you can approach women, but you don't seem to understand what to do after that. It's like you are trying to trick them into them giving you them your number. You use random cheezy pick up openers, but you are boring, and come off as creepy.

So you followed this girl for x amount of time, you noticed she was wearing something that hinted she may work at some place. You said you could tell she noticed you following her, so you finally said something. But you said something because you didn't want to look creepy, it gave you a push but you should have pushed yourself.

When you finally said something, imo, you came off as too direct. I think you should have said something along the lines of " I noticed the logo on your bag, do you work at such and such". Then gone on with it. But the biggest problem I think was that you were boring and came off kind of creepy. If you had been more C+F and shown some good body language, it wouldn't have mattered as much what you said. Im not saying you are creepy, im just saying your not coming off as you think you are.

It was a good conversation though. You kept it going, but if you are trying to get a number, general convo for the most part wont get you there. You said that she should have rewarded you with her number for coming up to and talking to her. I would really like to hear your rational in your thinking here.

You followed a girl, said something to her when you realized she noticed you were following her, told her a bunch of gibberish and didnt make her laugh. You didnt do anything to make her attracted to you. You probably did creep her out. Why would she want to give you her number?

 

[Julian]

Lol that was funny. Reminds me of an exchange in a movie or something. Bad timing on that LOL loud ass traffic noise when you try to spit your line..lmao

 

[FreD_BeaR]

I don't know man, I feel overwhelmed by the complex human dating game. Things are so much simple in the animal kingdom.

Maybe you should try another species then, you might have better luck. just try not to creep out any horses or anything.

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

I can understand your emphasis on C&F and I agree I need to work on that.
But my street approach style (or busstop approach) was from a guy called Yosha http://www.puaforums.com/funny-pick-up-lines/2354-how-approach-moving-street-sets-directly.html
He says just approach direct and tell your interest in her, and then say something more based on your observations. He doesn't put emphsis on C&F but on fashion and grooming (which I lack anyway, by ****ing bald head..)

Anyway I still think women should undersand C&F convo is not always possible (how much could I really have done C&F with that girl walking to office?) and just give their number.

 

[FreD_BeaR]

I can understand your emphasis on C&F and I agree I need to work on that.
But my street approach style (or busstop approach) was from a guy called Yosha http://www.puaforums.com/funny-pick-up-lines/2354-how-approach-moving-street-sets-directly.html
He says just approach direct and tell your interest in her, and then say something more based on your observations. He doesn't put emphsis on C&F but on fashion and grooming (which I lack anyway, by ****ing bald head..)

Im not saying that dosnt work. But for you, it obviously dosnt. Try something different, because its obvious that your results have been conclusive and youve yet to get a response that meets your expectations.
You need to broaden your scope. This style that Yosha is using sounds pretty advanced, it needs complete confidence. And thats something I dont think you have yet. You need to go in there not giving a sh1t if you get rejected. Having proper body language and no nervousness. Again like suggested to you oh so many times, stop looking up cheap pick up lines, and work on yourself. Get to the root of your insecurity. Pick up lines are really only effective if you can deliver them properly, which its evident you cant yet.

Anyway I still think women should undersand C&F convo is not always possible (how much could I really have done C&F with that girl walking to office?) and just give their number.

Women don't have to understand anything. Its not up to them, its up to you. She dosnt owe you ANYTHING. Its you that needs to understand things here. You are the one that wants her number. She dosnt wake up thinking "alrite im going to give my number out to x amount of guys today, no matter if they are creepy as fvck, follow me around, and dont attract me what so ever." Its up to you to make the situation. You need to use your imagination, wittyness and humor to make her laugh and cause attraction. Seriously go look for David Deangelo material, i love his stuff and its helped me a lot. You are looking for the easy way out here, so STOP. This isnt easy dont treat it like it is, otherwise youll continue to end up in utter failure.
This goes for everything in life, not just women.

This is my last post on your thread, you are an absurd human being who just refuses to listen to ANYONES advice. Open your eyes, stop being stubborn and close minded. YOU ARE CREEPING WOMEN OUT BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND THEM. FIGURE IT OUT.

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

Ok, first of all I was only being cynical when I said women ought be more understanding, and I'm not really expecting that from them. You need not take that so seriously.
You are right when you say I need to get to the root of my insecurity. I think my bald head is a huge insecure factor no matter how much I try approach despite that. I'm certain that the reason a few girls have rejected me in the past (not the ones I mentioned on this thread) is my bald head. I have spent years trying to regrow hair and still try to (dont ask how), but have not been successful, and the wasted years cause a huge grief to me. Its like I can never make up for the wasted years..

Its not like I always use pickup lines like you mention. I use situational openers when possible. Even today morning I opened a girl at a busstop without any pickup lines and got her number as well but I'm not going to consider it anything worth mentioning coz she didn't answer when I called in the evening so don't know if it is a number she actually uses. But then I used very common place sentences like "Where are you going?" which would not have been welcome with most other girls. This one like most girls from north eastern India appeared comfortable talking with strangers and so it was smooth, not necessarily because of my skills.