Idea for New SoSuave Forum

[Dash Riprock]

I wish this site would revert back to the days when it was a solid forum for dating advice.

And at one time is was. But, a forum like this is as good as its members. Not full of insults to newbies, by surprisingly, some long-time and high post-count SS members. Yes, tough love is often the remedy, but some here take pride in being a d*ick or bona fide or even mega-misogynist about it, forgetting their roots. Easy to hide behind your keyboard, isn't it? It's not the mods fault as they cannot control who joins and contributes to SS. They have done a good job of booting poor members and maintaining control.

Good example of the need for a new "elite" forum: As far as one thread in question in concerned, it hardly falls into DJ or dating advice. @bigdave17 's latest porn addiction post and "tell all" and "spill his guts"approach only reinforces in his mind how far he has to go, his refusal to change or even try, and sucks up the good oxygen on this forum. It's a cry for help, not an ask for dating advice, which we cannot assist with over a computer. Yes, there is A LOT written on the internet about the dangers of porn, so this should have been posted in perhaps the DJ Tips section and written in a different tone than the approach the poster took.

Mods - Here's an idea:

SS should create a "Circle of Excellence" section. You are invited or voted in based on your quality posts and mature behavior. It would be a forum for serious, respectful DJs and offer solid advice for serious DJs, given by solid posters without the insults, digs, cries for therapy, repetitive woman-bashing posts, and childish behavior. The rest can have keyboard wars as they please.

~Dash

 

[zekko]

SS should create a "Circle of Excellence" section. You are invited or voted in based on your quality posts and mature behavior. It would be a forum for serious, respectful DJs and offer solid advice for serious DJs, given by solid posters without the insults, digs, cries for therapy, repetitive woman-bashing posts, and childish behavior.

The problem with this idea is that the newbies looking for advice would not be able to gain access to it or benefit from the advice. They could read it, but by human nature few people want to read a forum they can't participate in.

The other comment I would say is that the old days are seldom quite as good as you remember. I think the forum has gotten better in a lot of ways. Some outdated ideas have disappeared (like "looks don't matter"). And besides there being a lot of tough love being handed out, there used to be a lot more "knee jerk" posts. All anyone had to do was bring up a certain subject, and I knew exactly what people were going to post. Because they were conditioned to respond to certain keywords with certain other keywords or phrases. I don't think the forum is quite as dogmatic as it used to be.

 

[Glassguy]

Agree with your comments about the trolls and the members that constantly argue and play the victim when the consensus of advice they receive isnt what they want to hear. If I wanted to deal with AWs I could get my belly full in about 10 minutes on OLD.

Most of the arguing isnt coming from experienced men/members debating strategies or tactics in fvcking women. Its the arguing from a very precise group of members who cannot stand to hear the truth. They are lazy, incompetent and would rather continue down their own path of destruction with women than start changes from within.

I will continue to use the ignore feature on such people. I know how my interactions with women in real life work and I am totally fine helping anyone on here that seeks it. If you seeked advice through DM's and I didnt respond, its probably because I already have you on ignore from trying to help you several times in the past and you didnt use my advice lol.

I agree that the forum is a better place without certain individuals lurking around and trolling the forums. I am sure there will be more in the future and the mods seem to do a good job of giving the benefit of doubt before pulling their access card.

 

[Spaz]

You got a problem with Dave's threads ?

Easy solution - press the ignore button.

You got problem with trolls?

Easy solution - press the ignore button.

You want a circle of excellence post ?

Easy solution - create a thread "Dash Riprock circle of excellence dating advice". Then tag those whom you think is excellent and provides outstanding content according to your standards.

Problem is now all solved. Easy.

As for me, I don't mind anyone's post, they could say anything they desire, however they should also expect other people disagreeing with them - it's expected and perfectly normal.

Let other readers be the judge of which narratives suits them best by presenting different sides to the discussion or argument.

If a single narrative is only allowed then that would be considered narrow mindedness/brainwashing - it is in effect limiting a person's view.

For most part the forum balances out.

I don't participate in Dave's threads but there's plenty of content there to be mined by other readers when taken positively.

 

[redskinsfan92]

The problem with this idea is that the newbies looking for advice would not be able to gain access to it or benefit from the advice. They could read it, but by human nature few people want to read a forum they can't participate in.

The other comment I would say is that the old days are seldom quite as good as you remember. I think the forum has gotten better in a lot of ways. Some outdated ideas have disappeared (like "looks don't matter"). And besides there being a lot of tough love being handed out, there used to be a lot more "knee jerk" posts. All anyone had to do was bring up a certain subject, and I knew exactly what people were going to post. Because they were conditioned to respond to certain keywords with certain other keywords or phrases. I don't think the forum is quite as dogmatic as it used to be.

Mysoginist is a feminist term I reject fully.

 

[zekko]

Mysoginist is a feminist term I reject fully.

Okay.
Here's an example of the kind of knee jerk reaction I'm talking about:

Someone would say that some girl had told him something or other about how to deal with some other girl he liked or whatever. And maybe that advice would be spot on, very good. But that didn't matter, because you knew that someone was going to pop up and say "Never take a woman's advice on dating. You don't ask a fish how to fish, you ask a fisherman".

It didn't matter that in this case the girl's advice was good, it only mattered what the usual pat response was. You could practically set your clock by it.

 

[guru1000]

Waiting to contact a woman in order to curb thirsty behavior is very different from responding sooner from a position of abundance, for example, but in the general forum there seems to be a never ending discussion on which is preferable.

If we keep pressing on the word "intent," then the threads will contain more meaningful context by the newbies and pertinent direction by the vets.

For example, today I suggested that the girl pick the place where to have drinks for the first date. Classic newbie playing into her frame and letting her lead, right? But here, I had no intent other than amusement. After a few suggestions all of which I negated, I then told her to meet me at XYZ. lol

At the end, there are no fast and hard rules, only motivations.

 

[Serenity]

I'm against this, but have some advice for you.

1. bigdave17 doesn't take advice, but that's not against the forum rules and neither does he break any rules as far as I've seen.
2. The quality comes from it's members, if members get caught up in hopeless threads and make further threads complaining about it (such as this one), then you're a part of the problem.
3. There is an ignore button, just for this type of problem. To hide posts by users you don't find interesting or annoying, but not rule breaking.
4. I don't want a circlejerk subforum, we benefit from outside input for critical thought.
5. If you do want a circlejerk conversation, I believe you can add more than one user to a conversation in the PM system.
6. Regarding the overly insulting posters that's a moderator job, but be sure to use the report function if you think something is crossing the line. They can't read through every single post alone. I think they're trying to currently improve this situation by expanding the moderator team.

Make a quality post next time. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

 

[Mike32ct]

And besides there being a lot of tough love being handed out, there used to be a lot more "knee jerk" posts. All anyone had to do was bring up a certain subject, and I knew exactly what people were going to post. Because they were conditioned to respond to certain keywords with certain other keywords or phrases. I don't think the forum is quite as dogmatic as it used to be.

Okay.
Here's an example of the kind of knee jerk reaction I'm talking about:

Someone would say that some girl had told him something or other about how to deal with some other girl he liked or whatever. And maybe that advice would be spot on, very good. But that didn't matter, because you knew that someone was going to pop up and say "Never take a woman's advice on dating. You don't ask a fish how to fish, you ask a fisherman".

It didn't matter that in this case the girl's advice was good, it only mattered what the usual pat response was. You could practically set your clock by it.

Absolutely. My favorites:

1. All female advice is bad. See above.

2. You should always DTB and spin plates. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with your gf or wife for five years and she just made one mistake or had a bad day. Just dump her lol.

3. Everybody (else) is a KJ or AFC. (Sort of like the 80s when you would call anyone you didn’t like a commie/communist lol.)

 

[longtail]

I wish this site would revert back to the days when it was a solid forum for dating advice.

And at one time is was. But, a forum like this is as good as its members. Not full of insults to newbies, by surprisingly, some long-time and high post-count SS members. Yes, tough love is often the remedy, but some here take pride in being a d*ick or bona fide or even mega-misogynist about it, forgetting their roots. Easy to hide behind your keyboard, isn't it? It's not the mods fault as they cannot control who joins and contributes to SS. They have done a good job of booting poor members and maintaining control.

Good example of the need for a new "elite" forum: As far as one thread in question in concerned, it hardly falls into DJ or dating advice. @bigdave17 's latest porn addiction post and "tell all" and "spill his guts"approach only reinforces in his mind how far he has to go, his refusal to change or even try, and sucks up the good oxygen on this forum. It's a cry for help, not an ask for dating advice, which we cannot assist with over a computer. Yes, there is A LOT written on the internet about the dangers of porn, so this should have been posted in perhaps the DJ Tips section and written in a different tone than the approach the poster took.

Mods - Here's an idea:

SS should create a "Circle of Excellence" section. You are invited or voted in based on your quality posts and mature behavior. It would be a forum for serious, respectful DJs and offer solid advice for serious DJs, given by solid posters without the insults, digs, cries for therapy, repetitive woman-bashing posts, and childish behavior. The rest can have keyboard wars as they please.

~Dash

The only problem with this idea and I think it's a good one, is that people in the group can't meet and advance their goals in person. I recommend finding a locally based group where you can attend free meetings, find wingmen and chat on a board where you can verify identities and therefore the validity of a person's results and feedback. I pm'ed you with one of the few viable options going at this time. It's free.

This forum is under-moderated. I agree with that. The current moderators seem overwhelmed and they also seem to follow a libertarian philosophy which requires self regulation, a trait almost non existent in this day and age.

As society crumbles, the forum will as well. it's a reflection of the degeneracy around us.

 

[Roober]

I think it would be better served to break down the forums into smaller groups. Don juan and the mature man are far too vague to actually be different forums, and often contain much of the same content. This site is far overdue for some re-organization (no offense). Additionally, we all come from widely different socioeconomic backgrounds, living situations, and morals. I dont really know the best way to break it up, but here is my suggestion, for what its worth...

1. The new don juans - stickies with DJ bible, book of pook, reading materials, and questions from newbies. All questions which are viewed as "noob" kind of material would be moved here. We can certainly put all the victim mentality crap here, because that really is elementary DJ stuff.

2. The family Don Juan - this may be the guys with kids, the guys looking for LTRs, 9r other things relating to family.

3. The Player Don Juan - men focused on laying as many women as possible with no real interest in any sort of relationship.

4. DJ veterans - must have more 1 year on the forum before being able to view or post here. Maybe even a minimum post count?

I like the exercise forum and the career forum, but I feel like they are horribly under utilized. In my opinion, this site is due for an overhaul. I would also like to see some more moderation by merging and/or locking repeat threads by the same user. Giving the trolls a voice actually enables them to continue doing it.

 

[zekko]

Everybody (else) is a KJ or AFC.

Lol, there's still a lot of that about. But I swear posters used to think "We've read The Book of Pook, therefore we are the 1%. Everyone in the outside world is an ignorant, betafied dud that no woman would ever want". Made you wonder how the human race managed to reproduce before the internet came along.

 

[penkitten]

We already have that we took. It's called the Hall of Excellence.

 

[zekko]

Eh, I think it's fine the way it is. I like the overall free for all nature of it.
I don't like the idea that someone is always trying to find a way to stop someone else from talking.
The moderators weed out the most flagrant offenses.

 

[ShadowFenix]

It would be pretty cool though if a collection of threads can be put together in a “bible” format that goes into deeper detail on how there can be so many exceptions to the more basic, newbie “guidelines” intended largely to break bad habits.

This would be great. If you had two different forums, you can have two different bibles. It would be like back when we had the high school forum, which had its own high school bible. The information from both the high school bible and the regular bible was useful, but how much you use each one would be different depending on your circumstance.

If we have a bible for newbies, it will be training wheels, and then there could be a more advanced bible to progress with.

I also am of the train of thought that a lot of aspects of the old bible are out of date. Sure the fundamentals are strong, but if a new bible were compiled that was more relevant to today, then I think it would be very beneficial.

The question is who is willing to compile these posts...

 

[fanatic22]

The issue with putting people on ignore is that when they derail discussions you have no idea what anyone is talking about. I had to take people off ignore because I would randomly get totally lost in threads.