"I'd like to get to know you as friends"???

[lloyd_bank$]

You may have read my post a while ago - here's a little background:
I got a girl's number for the first time bout a month ago after grinding and kissing her in a club. She was going home for easter vacation from uni that week, and I didn't have time to meet her before she went. She asked if I'd like to see her again, I said I think so, maybe after easter? She replied with ye, before or after easter it's up to you. She seemed to have a pretty high interest level at this point.
So, the other evening, I rang her to set up a date - there was no answer. She then sent me a text message saying she was still at uni doing some work so couldn't answer the phone. I ask her if she's free saturday to meet up with me.
She replied saying "I don't know whether you'd want to meet me now as I'm seeing someone. Would still like to get to know you as friends? You seem like a nice guy."

WTF??
It's funny because the only time we've seen each other we hardly said a word to each other. We were just grinding on the dancefloor. Then she comes out with the comment that I seem like a nice guy. Can girls just tell a "nice guy" by looking at them. I am prety new to this site, and find it difficult to get away from the nice guy routine.

I'm confused by what she wants. She was really keen to meet me before easter, and now she doesn't seem so. But she wants to get to know me as a friend! Can her IL just disappear like that? Did I do anything wrong?

I was quite drunk when I first got her number - it turns out she was really ugly according to a friend of mine who saw her, so I'm not really bothered! ha ha! But it would have been nice to practice skills I'm trying to learn from hear, and I find it hard to meet girls that show an interest in me.

 

[coldcoal]

"Would like to get to know you as friends? You seem like a nice guy."

"Really?! I was hoping I could pin your ankles behind your ears."

 

[fukuy]

Go use your DJ skills and steal that bytch from her guy. After all, she's just seeing him, nothing serious yet. If she's ugly, you use her for your own sex desire and dump her fast.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Lloyd, hello and welcome, it's good to see more UK DJs on this site.

First of all, don't worry - you didn't do anything wrong. You kiss closed and number closed, so no problems there.

It sounds like this chick has met someone else in whom she has higher IL - after all that wouldn't be difficult, since you only met briefly in a club. The 'friends' busines can mean the following:

1. She wants to keep you on the back burner in case the other chap doesn' t work out

2. She wants to brush you off gently

3. She really DOES want to just be friends.

In my experience of UK university chicks, it's probably (2) that's nearest the truth. Woman don't like confrontation and they especially don't want to risk making an enemy in a university town where everybody knows everybody else.

However, none of the above should really matter to you. What matters is what YOU want. She is at least giving you the opportunity to meet up with her, and you can then judge the situation accordingly and take things from there - so I would simply assume that (1) is the only option that applies to you.

 

[lloyd_bank$]

so you think she still has an interest then?

By the way I told her if she does wanna meet me she should get in touch and I'll consider it. So we'll see if she's bothered!

 

[Austin Allegro]

You shouldn't really tell women to get in touch with you - that's putting your power in their hands, and most women, even if they like you, will balk at calling a man in case he rejects them. Sad but that's just the way it is.

It's up to YOU to do the chasing. Personally I think you haven't much of a chance as she's already mentioned someone else she's seeing. If a girl's interested they rarely mention anyone else on the scene.

I was in a similar situation at uni - an HB agreed to go out with me 'as friends' but when I tried to take things further she got upset and made her feelings clear. At least I tried though!

But never mind all that - YOU need to take control. Believe me, the exhilaration of this is fantastic - after years of AFCness it feels great to be in charge.

So I would just call her and set up a date 'as friends' and then read the signals. Even if she's not interested it doesn't hurt to put HER on YOUR back burner.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

if it's just for practice, go for it. at least you get to practice your skills.

date other women for the meantime. since you're going to practice, how about trying to date women within her 'personal network'. just a thought. how'd it affect her IL would be interesting, after you make good impressions with her friends.

and uh, YOU are supposed to be the one who's schedule a date depends on. if she's not free then and is interested, she will try to make up for it by suggesting something.

girls ive nexted are now all over me after dating a few women in hre personal network. but that's just me.

 

[Lingus01]

Personally,

I take some offense to women calling me nice.

Thanks coldcoal for the awesome come back to the nice guy comment.

I will probably use that in the future.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by coldcoal
"Would like to get to know you as friends? You seem like a nice guy."

"Really?! I was hoping I could pin your ankles behind your ears."

heh, good one...

lloyd, she might want to trade up to you instead of her boyfriend but obviously can't make up her mind from a few dances in a club. She has to get to know you better.

Go out with her at least once anyway just to see what happens, and by all means let your intentions be known in both actions and words... if you're wasting time, the sooner you find out, the better. good luck

 

[tactic]

you saw jamie kennedy experiment show this week?


WHOOOOOREEEEE!!
*****!!!!!!