I wish I could go back...

[rhcp83]

...to the AFC days, I mean the days where women were these mysterious, angelic people and "if only I could get a girlfriend."

Now that I know the truth about women, from a combination of personal experience, other guys going through the same thing, and everything that I'd been reading on here and other places "making sense" I've become a person I don't like.

I think about sex 24/7 (well not 24/7...I have other hobbies/activities...but I think about it more than the average guy) and look at women as inferior and that men (like the guys on the board anyway) know them better than they know themselves. Guys aren't perfect, either, but like I've said, I'm not looking to see men naked or sleep with them, so I could care less...and say what you want about men, at least you know where you stand with them and they don't argue over stupid little things.

My only reason for wanting to make acquaintances with a woman (well most women anyway) is to sleep with them. I consider any interaction with a female (even a date that ends with a makeout) a failure because I still haven't got laid.

It's funny, really, though...women claim to want a nice, good guy...but obviously don't...then a guy that's otherwise a decent person stops being the "nice, good guy" at least around women.

 

[Night-hawk]

I will never go back to the Matrix...no matter how good the stake tasted...
I like knowing the truth...and you know what, the truth empowers.

 

[rhcp83]

Well I guess the question is, how can you have a connection with a woman? Even the more low maintenance/down to earth ones...a lot of that is just how they act when they're first meeting someone, then after being around them for a while and they're past the "trying to impress you" stage you find out their real personality, the whole bait and switch thing.

 

[zerohawk]

Bro it's called moderation you can blow anything if you over do it. The tips on this board are designed to give you the confidence to go out and get what is there not to turn you into some giant douche bag. you're right if your just doing this to satisfy your own sexual needs you need to chill out take a step back and figure out what you really want in life. I know for me I want a women that can hold her own with me and not someone that is going to try to dominate and control me like my last relationship.

 

[sighsigh]

Well, the degree to which the woman rejects the AFC is definitely variable.

Ex. I'd say some dumb 10/10 blonde who goes clubbing every night is probably at the top of the list of people who rejects the AFC. But as you explore different types of women... say women who are more intellectual, or introverted, or women from other non-American cultures, you find that they accept more and more AFC qualities.

But I don't think there's any women out there who would want a guy who's 100% AFC.

 

[MasterFuu]

Well I guess the question is, how can you have a connection with a woman? Even the more low maintenance/down to earth ones...a lot of that is just how they act when they're first meeting someone, then after being around them for a while and they're past the "trying to impress you" stage you find out their real personality, the whole bait and switch thing.

About two months in sooner or later the real them comes out. It can be good or it can be really bad. Like two sides of a coin.

 

[bigneil]

Well I guess the question is, how can you have a connection with a woman?

0) Health
1) Chemistry
2) Sex
3) Patience
4) Time
5) Romance
6) Generosity
7) Courtship
8) Absence
9) Mystery
10) Enlightenment

 

[Slickster]

My only reason for wanting to make acquaintances with a woman (well most women anyway) is to sleep with them. I consider any interaction with a female (even a date that ends with a makeout) a failure because I still haven't got laid.

Exactly why you suck with women. You have nothing to offer.

If you were a woman would you sleep with the male version of yourself?

 

[rhcp83]

Exactly why you suck with women. You have nothing to offer.

If you were a woman would you sleep with the male version of yourself?

Yes I would.

I know you hate on me Slickster so I don't know why you waste one of your 10 posts to message me.

 

[floydb25]

That's life. Not a lot of things are the way you'd thought, and probably hoped they'd be. You gotta just accept it, and deal with it. Everyone wishes things were different: people were nicer, more faithful, had respect for others, took relationships seriously, were better people overall, didn't chase douche bags and *******s, etc. Not everything turns out as you'd want it to be. That's reality. Gotta learn to accept it without being bitter about it. It's not something you can control; its just the way it is, and how people are.

The best thing to say is "oh well". Women aren't perfect and innocent: oh well. Being a nice guy isn't effective: oh well. Gotta accept it either way, and adapt yourself accordingly. Whining about it doesn't help anything. Your expectations never matched reality. That's the point - it was never reality to begin with. It's only how YOU wanted things to be. You wanted these girls to be as they claimed to be, but it wasn't reality. You wanted the fantasy nice guy relationship, but it wasn't reality.

The best way to keep yourself stuck is to dwell on how things used to be, how you wanted them to be, and *****ing about how they actually are. This does no good for your personal growth whatsoever. You can't hate something that is reality. Makes no sense. It won't change anything - other than making you angry and bitter. It's counter-intuitive, really.

 

[rhcp83]

I'll be honest...as far as all of my posts. A lot of this is just obsessing. I'm one of those people that has an obsessive mind and whose thoughts are racing 100 miles an hour.

When I'm actually out in public, even when I'm in a more woman populated area, I don't even notice most women. And even when I see one my type, it's usually no big deal. I'll usually approach, and if I get rejected or she doesn't bite, I move on easy.

For some reason, put me indoors one way or the other and I start obsessing about all of this stuff.

It's like I'm obsessed with the idea of women and women 101. It's not harming anyone (other than myself) because I don't stalk any women or obsess over any one woman or chase women with low interest like a lot of guys on the board, but it's definitely harming me.

Edit: I was reading some of my posts from a few months ago, and it was a completely different tone. I was happier, less angry. It's not like all of this is news to me...I knew the same stuff back then...I just hope this is just needing to get laid really bad and built up frustration.

 

[Mike32ct]

I'd take 2 dates with makouts over sex with some wh0re any day, personally.

Makeouts are HOT. I love 'em but can't get them with broads near my age for reasons listed below.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=190209&highlight=hooker

 

[Night-hawk]

You are fascinated with the female species and the nature that makes them them - what is wrong with that!? Nothing in my opinion.

But, by uncovering many new truths and being innundated with all these theories and discussions from multiitudes of opinions, it has collided with previous held beliefs. This has left a residue of fear in you, as deep down you probably are good with women; but it's the fear of the truth about them and their nature, and an unacceptance of that, that has caused you to distance yourself from them in such ways, and to 'obsess' about this...Is that far off, or am I on to something?...

 

[rhcp83]

You are fascinated with the female species and the nature that makes them them - what is wrong with that!? Nothing in my opinion.

But, by uncovering many new truths and being innundated with all these theories and discussions from multiitudes of opinions, it has collided with previous held beliefs. This has left a residue of fear in you, as deep down you probably are good with women; but it's the fear of the truth about them and their nature, and an unacceptance of that, that has caused you to distance yourself from them in such ways, and to 'obsess' about this...Is that far off, or am I on to something?...

Actually very much on except I'm not great with women, but I'm much better than I used to be. When I do get opportunities, I make the most of them...am conversational, not boring, can flirt, etc., go for the kiss without being creepy about it (and usually get it.)

But it is an obsession in that I think about it way too much, more so than the average guy or guys on this board. I have an obsessive mind in general.

 

[Bling]

You are fascinated with the female species and the nature that makes them them - what is wrong with that!? Nothing in my opinion.

But, by uncovering many new truths and being innundated with all these theories and discussions from multiitudes of opinions, it has collided with previous held beliefs. This has left a residue of fear in you, as deep down you probably are good with women; but it's the fear of the truth about them and their nature, and an unacceptance of that, that has caused you to distance yourself from them in such ways, and to 'obsess' about this...Is that far off, or am I on to something?...

Alpha males are confident. They don't second guess their conjectures, they say it and are down. You're pure beta man...


Does that answer your question from me at least? I know I wish I went back to when I didn't know these things. I learned at 14 (about to be 22). It's made me a bit depressed at times.

 

[floydb25]

Actually very much on except I'm not great with women, but I'm much better than I used to be. When I do get opportunities, I make the most of them...am conversational, not boring, can flirt, etc., go for the kiss without being creepy about it (and usually get it.)

But it is an obsession in that I think about it way too much, more so than the average guy or guys on this board. I have an obsessive mind in general.

Not necessarily a bad thing... You just don't want your obsessions to be negative. Then, it becomes a major problem. Especially when you build up the negativity in your head, become extremely bitter, and start acting on them.

Not a lot of the horribly bad things you think about are reality, either. Not all girls are skanks and *****es who want bad boys and *******s; they don't all want looks or money; etc. Nothing is ever definite. There's a lot of normal, balanced, healthy people out there. You will NOT notice them when your views are all negative, and you'll treat people based on these views. IE, "Oh, she's probably just a ***** who is gonna make fun of me, use me, or leave me." You're either not gonna bother at all, or treat her like a *****. Either way, your thoughts just became reality, and you're creating it.

Nothing is ever as good or bad as you make it out to be in your mind. But it can be if you allow it to. A lot of jerks are the way they are because of this. All they see and feel is negativity everywhere. Bitterness, hate, anger, irrational, skewed, unrealistic views... All in their minds. It becomes a reality based on this. The mind is where it all begins. Same goes for players. They believe they MUST not care, show any interest, play games, etc. These beliefs are very strong, but they're not realistic.

People generally have a few bad experiences, dwell on them, and create them into something much larger than they are. This is when people tend to go to extremes, and still fail.

 

[Johnnyventana]

I get what the OP is saying a little bit. The not knowing, even though deep down you know something, was fun. Now you wonder about what their angle is. You wonder how long they can keep up the facade. An innocence is lost.

Still, you nail chicks and move on.

 

[Night-hawk]

Alpha males are confident. They don't second guess their conjectures, they say it and are down. You're pure beta man...

:nono: Your arrogance, slandering only confirms your ignorance, kid. But doing so probably makes you feel better about yourself...good for you!

Learn a thing or 2 about language patterning...

 

[rhcp83]

It seems I have a stalker on here named Slickster lol. He follows my posts and just claims if he lived where I lived, he'd be the king of my town even though he lives in a completely different country.

He just can't take that I won't agree with him about my town not being devoid of women (when other people from my area on the board have agreed.)

As for everyone else, thanks for the kind words. Floyd your post makes a lot of sense but like I said, my mind obsesses more than most. A lot of this is just my mind picking something - women - and obsessing to the nth degree. My guess is part of it is the challenge. If getting women came easier to me or women were all over me, I suppose it wouldn't mean as much. My mind likes the challenge I guess.

 

[Chamber36]

When you obsess about women, make sure you do it in a productive manner, possibly by motivating yourself to read something new about them, for example from Rollo's blog, or Chateau Heartiste.