I wasnt " on " at her last family gathering.

[suspected_file_swap]

Hey boys,

So Ive been dating this girl for 13 months. We do tons of stuff with her family, and even if Im not really in the mood I usually go and make the best of it and usually have a pretty good time..........Im known for being a wise cracking smarty pants and Ive pretty much won over most of her family members.

However this past Saturday things were a little different. I had a golf match at 8 AM in the morning which I got up at 6 AM for. It was a big match for my club championship. The match took about 6 hours because of two rain stoppages, unfortunately I lost , it was gruelling and frustrating. I really wanted to win and was very upset after losing.

Well later that day we had a BBQ scheduled with her family at 5 PM. I went even though I had nothing left in the tank. I pretty much just sat there most of the night not saying too much, I was really quiet and not very sociable , I admit it.

This seemed to cause quite a stir amongst her family members, apparently the next day she was overwhelmed with " what was wrong with Mark " questions. I think she tried to defend me at first but eventually the family convinced her I guess that I seemed really off.

Tonight she came over, and asked me " was everything ok on Satuday ? " I told her yeah I was just really tired and exhausted and that I probably should not have went to the BBQ. I told her I can't be on all the time and then asked her isnt she ever like that ? She said " yes but I try to make more of an effort " I didnt really say much other that I was just out of it and not to make a big deal of it.

Im kind of surprised she quesitoned me on it. I guess I set the tone for being mr sociable and now they see me a little down and they get alarmed !

I guess Im just looking for general feedback as to what you guys think about this whole situation.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Boilermaker]

I guess I set the tone for being mr sociable and now they see me a little down and they get alarmed !

I think you are right about it. They probably thought you were having problems with your girl friend.

Why are you fretting over this? What is mysterious about this ?

 

[Pair A Dice]

Even if you're tired, it's no excuse to not be at least amicable and a bit social. Sure, you could have a few conversations and then put it in shut down mode or let people know exactly what's up and go from there, but otherwise, you might as well have let her know that you were just too tired to go if you felt bad from the start.

 

[HalfAddict]

Right, why not tell them about the SIX ****ING HOUR GOLF GAME??!?!?

 

[Burroughs]

dude are you a dancing monkey?

No.

Then don't act like one. You played a SIX HOUR golf tournament with rain delays...you were worn out. She should have been considerate of that, given you a nice BJ and tucked you in...not criticized you for not being 'on'.

when you are down it would be nice for those around you to PICK YOU UP not to stomp on your back with golf spikes.

 

[KarmaSutra]

dude are you a dancing monkey?

No.

Then don't act like one. You played a SIX HOUR golf tournament with rain delays...you were worn out. She should have been considerate of that, given you a nice BJ and tucked you in...not criticized you for not being 'on'.

when you are down it would be nice for those around you to PICK YOU UP not to stomp on your back with golf spikes.

Excellent.

 

[women haze]

dude are you a dancing monkey?

No.

Then don't act like one. You played a SIX HOUR golf tournament with rain delays...you were worn out. She should have been considerate of that, given you a nice BJ and tucked you in...not criticized you for not being 'on'.

when you are down it would be nice for those around you to PICK YOU UP not to stomp on your back with golf spikes.

That is a love that many women do not understand these days.....goodluck finding anything like that.

 

[Warrior74]

That is a love that many women do not understand these days.....goodluck finding anything like that.

Right. I was thinking when I read this, my mother would have just told them that my father was tired, and hell probably found a place for him to take a nap. I've seen her do it before. chic sounds impressionable (although I understand that's its family), and a wee bit selfish.

Tonight she came over, and asked me " was everything ok on Satuday ? " I told her yeah I was just really tired and exhausted and that I probably should not have went to the BBQ. I told her I can't be on all the time and then asked her isnt she ever like that ? She said " yes but I try to make more of an effort " I didnt really say much other that I was just out of it and not to make a big deal of it.

Im kind of surprised she quesitoned me on it.

This probably would have pissed me off. Like who the fvck are you to question me like this? And who's fvcking team are you on here? I probably would have blew it up. Then again, I do have a bit of short fuse.

 

[Zunder]

So your dating her family.

 

[st_99]

So you've been with a girl over a year, go to a bbq and decide you don't feel like entertaining (dancing monkey) and you're worried about that?????!??!! If that girl really has a problem with it then she's a self centered b*tch.

 

[suspected_file_swap]

Thanks guys, great feedback................I believe I have a right to be quiet and down sometimes.............but on the other hand I was wondering if maybe I should have made an effort so I was looking for opinons.

I agree with the dancing money comment btw.

Thx boys.......

 

[High Voltage]

should have made an effort

No you shouldn't have. Live your life for yourself.

- HV

 

[Boilermaker]

puhahahahhaha
dancing monkey

I love SoSuave, I really do.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

The only effort you might have made was to tell the story of the 6 hours and the loss. Any man would have instantly sympathized, and anyone who wasn't trained (by you) to expect you to do your song and dance routine would have given you space to chill.

There are some cases in life where the truth shall set you free.

 

[squirrels]

Tonight she came over, and asked me " was everything ok on Satuday ? " I told her yeah I was just really tired and exhausted and that I probably should not have went to the BBQ.

It's not your job to entertain the party.

I told her I can't be on all the time and then asked her isnt she ever like that ? She said " yes but I try to make more of an effort " I didnt really say much other that I was just out of it and not to make a big deal of it.

Now if you were just worn out and not too talkative, that's one thing. But if you were grumpy and bringing the mood of the party down, then yeah, you probably should've NOT gone, rather than sitting there sulking. You're not required to carry the party. But you should at least be civil and not let your mood bring other people down.

You don't have to make some explanation about being "on". As others have said, you're a boyfriend, not an entertainer. You're not obligated to be the life of the party every time. But if you're so tired you can't at least relax and try to smile and not look miserable, then you should have called and cancelled, for the sake of the party as a whole. And for your own sake.

 

[Colossus]

The whole "yes but I try to make more of an effort" line would have p!ssed me right off.

You cant have a bad fvcking day? Jeezus.

Of course, if SHE had a similarly exhausting day she'll expect nothing but your patronizing, loving support

 

[mrRuckus]

Next time she's too tired for sex remind her that she said she'd make more of an effort.