I was lost and now I've been found.

[Peaks&Valleys]

Not really, still lost.

What is the purpose of all of this?

Are you just trying to get laid? By beautiful women? Nothing wrong with that. But what about afterwards....or between. Do you want to hang out with them? Get to know them. Hang out on the couch and watch a movie...watch a romantic comedy, while you talk sh1t about it, and she throws popcorn at you for not thinking it's romantic?

Where does it end? Marriage? For some. A new relationship cycle. Do you get bored? When does the boredom end? When you find "the one" that can keep you captivated? Or when you're ready to settle down and the lucky girl just happens to be the one you're dating at the time?

Just wondering your opinions and thoughts. I've never been married. My LTR's have a shelf life of a year at best, I get bored. I've met a few that have blown me away, but they're usually gone before it starts. It's been almost like a self sabotage for the ones that I really feel I could "connect" with.

I've never lived with a woman, plenty of opportunities. One of my LTR's bought a house hoping I'd move in. She wasn't up to my standards though at the time, for me, it was a temporary convenient relationship. I've tried only dating women that I would consider marrying. That didn't last too long, being lonely takes a toll. I'm at a crossroads for the time being. Not sure how to proceed.

That girl that shows up and knocks me on my ass.....hasn't showed up. I should seek her out, but when I do, it doesn't work. She'll put up a front so I'll let her knows who's boss, by not asking her out. I win, but I'm dateless and she's with someone else.

Where is the even ground? When is the time to concede? If ever.

Should I keep going down the same path and it will work out? Eventually? Like a numbers thing?

Why are some girls so into me while others seem not even close to interested. And when they do get interested, and want a relationship, why am I already seeking something else? How will it end?

I know what I want. I just can't seem to find it.



Just rambling. My thoughts. Feel free to comment, talk $hit or say whatever, any comments will be taken lightly. So say what's on your mind. I just did.

 

[Zunder]

Not really, still lost.

What is the purpose of all of this?

Are you just trying to get laid? By beautiful women? Nothing wrong with that. But what about afterwards....or between. Do you want to hang out with them? Get to know them. Hang out on the couch and watch a movie...watch a romantic comedy, while you talk sh1t about it, and she throws popcorn at you for not thinking it's romantic?

Where does it end? Marriage? For some. A new relationship cycle. Do you get bored? When does the boredom end? When you find "the one" that can keep you captivated? Or when you're ready to settle down and the lucky girl just happens to be the one you're dating at the time?

Just wondering your opinions and thoughts. I've never been married. My LTR's have a shelf life of a year at best, I get bored. I've met a few that have blown me away, but they're usually gone before it starts. It's been almost like a self sabotage for the ones that I really feel I could "connect" with.

I've never lived with a woman, plenty of opportunities. One of my LTR's bought a house hoping I'd move in. She wasn't up to my standards though at the time, for me, it was a temporary convenient relationship. I've tried only dating women that I would consider marrying. That didn't last too long, being lonely takes a toll. I'm at a crossroads for the time being. Not sure how to proceed.

That girl that shows up and knocks me on my ass.....hasn't showed up. I should seek her out, but when I do, it doesn't work. She'll put up a front so I'll let her knows who's boss, by not asking her out. I win, but I'm dateless and she's with someone else.

Where is the even ground? When is the time to concede? If ever.

Should I keep going down the same path and it will work out? Eventually? Like a numbers thing?

Why are some girls so into me while others seem not even close to interested. And when they do get interested, and want a relationship, why am I already seeking something else? How will it end?

I know what I want. I just can't seem to find it.



Just rambling. My thoughts. Feel free to comment, talk $hit or say whatever, any comments will be taken lightly. So say what's on your mind. I just did.

Here's whats on my mind:
No one has all the answers--to women, or to life.
I find all attempts to form a rational philosophical system to be based on a petitio principii or small principle, which requires an act of faith. Usually found in the first paragraph or two of thick books, if you accept assumed but unproven and unprovable principles, the rest follows; but if you don’t, it doesn’t.
All you can do if, as you say, you know what you want, is seek out a life that you live on your terms as much as you can, meaning that when what others call 'luck" presents itself, you are in the best position to evaluate and take advantage of it. This "luck" could be in the form of a woman, or a new career opportunity or whatever.
Fact is, most people are woefully equipped to handle these opportunities when they come along and they--man or woman--end up with a "poor me" syndrome, and end up blaming the world for all their ills, when what they need to do is look in the mirror.

 

[bugsquish]

I can totally relate to this. I've started to think that I've idealised what I'm looking for to the extent that it might be unattainable because it doesn't actually exist. No matter how amazing a girl first appears to be, if you scratch the surface there will always be something there that removes her from the ideal.

So am I looking for something that is unattainable? Or am I deliberately making it impossible for any woman to fit that ideal because I'm ultimately scared of making that commitment? I suspect the latter. I guess I've learned that I'm not particularly suited to monogamy. Looks like you're the same.

I've made myself happy and found fulfilment by maintaining multiple relationships. I'm piecing together the kind of relationship I want by having parts of if with various different women. It usually works out ok if you are honest about your intentions.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Peaks and Valleys,
Variety is the Spice of Life!.....Unless you want Children you should never consider Marriage,nor without economic necessity should you let them move in....Another Old Saw....Familiarity breeds contempt...If you have your Bachelor Redoubt,why would you want a Woman under your feet?...To keep a relationship fresh,just don't see too much of each other and always have a few romantic interests on the side...Seducing a new lover is like a second spring it rejuvenates you...Your happiness,joi de vivre will often invigorate and bring new life to your main love interest...For many people there is a need to be constantly progressing a love to new levels...How many times have you heard Women say,"this relationship is going nowhere"...Well this constant change has got to stop some time,hasn't it?...The saddest thing in this World,is not the plight of Eritrean Refugees,or gassed victims of a brutal regime in Syria.It is the tens of millions of poor bvggers trapped in sexless marriages....They know if they try to escape they lose everything,kids the house everything they have slaved for over the years!....In reality the penalties for many of these guys is harsher than the perpetrators of mass genocide receive...At 37 the World is your Oyster,you are only just coming into your prime...What you have is as good as it gets,the rest is mere smoke and mirrors,an illusion!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Great responses here.

I can totally relate to this. I've started to think that I've idealised what I'm looking for to the extent that it might be unattainable because it doesn't actually exist. No matter how amazing a girl first appears to be, if you scratch the surface there will always be something there that removes her from the ideal.

So am I looking for something that is unattainable? Or am I deliberately making it impossible for any woman to fit that ideal because I'm ultimately scared of making that commitment? I suspect the latter. I guess I've learned that I'm not particularly suited to monogamy. Looks like you're the same.

I've made myself happy and found fulfilment by maintaining multiple relationships. I'm piecing together the kind of relationship I want by having parts of if with various different women. It usually works out ok if you are honest about your intentions.

Exactly my man. Except I actually feel I am suited for monogamy, the thought of being with one girl is exciting to me. The downside to that is she'd have to be someone that would make only want to be with her....that's the exciting part right there. Finding that girl.

Dear Peaks and Valleys,
Variety is the Spice of Life!.....Unless you want Children you should never consider Marriage,nor without economic necessity should you let them move in....Another Old Saw....Familiarity breeds contempt...If you have your Bachelor Redoubt,why would you want a Woman under your feet?...To keep a relationship fresh,just don't see too much of each other and always have a few romantic interests on the side...Seducing a new lover is like a second spring it rejuvenates you...Your happiness,joi de vivre will often invigorate and bring new life to your main love interest...For many people there is a need to be constantly progressing a love to new levels...How many times have you heard Women say,"this relationship is going nowhere"...Well this constant change has got to stop some time,hasn't it?...The saddest thing in this World,is not the plight of Eritrean Refugees,or gassed victims of a brutal regime in Syria.It is the tens of millions of poor bvggers trapped in sexless marriages....They know if they try to escape they lose everything,kids the house everything they have slaved for over the years!....In reality the penalties for many of these guys is harsher than the perpetrators of mass genocide receive...At 37 the World is your Oyster,you are only just coming into your prime...What you have is as good as it gets,the rest is mere smoke and mirrors,an illusion!

Fortunately for me, I already have a son. Some people may see that as a detractor but, it allows me some peace of mind. If I never get married and have the white picket fence, I'll still be okay, someone to watch grow up and pass along all my possessions and worldly wisdom to. I was fortunate in the way that even if the mother and I aren't getting along, she understands it's all about him - our son and what's best for him.

All you can do if, as you say, you know what you want, is seek out a life that you live on your terms as much as you can, meaning that when what others call 'luck" presents itself, you are in the best position to evaluate and take advantage of it. This "luck" could be in the form of a woman, or a new career opportunity or whatever.
Fact is, most people are woefully equipped to handle these opportunities when they come along and they--man or woman--end up with a "poor me" syndrome, and end up blaming the world for all their ills, when what they need to do is look in the mirror.

Great advice. I try to preach this. Go after what you want....but also be prepared for what shows up at your doorstep.