I want to sleep with a friend. Is it even possible?

housedejacques

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Hello gentlemen, it's me again.

So I'm coming to you for advice about sleeping with a friend.
Now, what kind of friend is she? Back in the day, when we both lived in [country A], we used to be very good friends. We'd talk about tons of stuff. Strangely enough, we didn't see each other that often. I think it's because there's a powerful attraction thing going on between the two of us and we sort of understood that the more time we spent together, the more we weakened that attraction.

Nowadays, I live in [country B] and she's in [country C]. We've been separated for a while. We write each other the occasional e-mail, but without any regularity. We saw each other once in the past two years, and there was a strong attraction going on. Everything around us pulsated with it. Unfortunately, I was a puss and I didn't do anything. Well, actually, I had a girlfriend at the time, and I wanted to remain faithful.

Even since, I told her once that I had enormous feelings for her and that I couldn't get her out of my head. This is hard to believe, but I said it in a very non-needy way. She acknowledged it and said that sadly we're far. I never spoke about it again.

So now I'm gonna go visit her in [country C]. I booked plane and train tickets to go to her small little city.

Since I so want to sleep with her, I've started by doing a freeze-out. The other day she began telling me about her ex-boyfriend and I told her straight-up, "Listen, I don't want you to speak to me about that stuff anymore" I haven't been writing her that much; it's always her that contacts me. I just told her "I have my tickets, be ready for me" and I've been very curt ever since. Now I plan on basically not communicating with her 'till a couple of weeks before my flight.

I've been thinking about how to get this right. I think I'm sort of setting myself up for failure here, because I'm going all the way there to see her and spend a week with her. She's not even in the capital of her country, meaning I'm gonna miss out on something interesting just to see her. So I'm trying to figure out ways to make the most out of this trip. Either I'll hitchhike all the way to the capital, or I'll join a dating site and I'll try to get some dates. I don't know. It just sort of hit me that I've been emotionally investing too much into seeing her and sleeping with her. I've got to have some other stuff to do.

But I also really, really want to sleep with her. Here's the thing: my body aches for this girl. I'm not a guy who thinks in the 1-10 HB scale. If you were to see her, you'd probably think she's a 6. I also probably think she's a 6. But I embrace my sexual desires, and she makes me hot as hell. So I wanna shag her.

I've sort of wondered how to do this. I think the best way is to act cool and casual upon meeting, talk and discuss and kill any "friend-zone" subject that comes up. No ex-boyfriend talk, no talk about feelings. I also feel that I need to let her know that I'm not boyfriend material -I really am not at the moment- and in some way or another acknowledge my sexual feelings towards her, all while making her feel the same way. Here's the thing: I know she does already. She's got strong feelings for me, but she's holding back out of fear of losing me or some ****.

The thing is, we haven't been that close for a while now. We don't speak that much, and she's in a whole different country. When I first came to this country I'm in right now, I was so shocked during the acclimation period that I cried myself to sleep. Did I speak to hear once during that tough period? No.

There's really nothing to lose.
So, fellow Don Juans, I'd like to know your opinion on this. How do I get this girl into bed and finally get us to act on our repressed desires?

Cheers and thanks in advance.
 

Hollow.man

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Get drunk. First night emotions and alcohol, sure fire way. Just don't get too drunk.
 

st_99

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housedejacques said:
Hello gentlemen, it's me again.

It just sort of hit me that I've been emotionally investing too much into seeing her and sleeping with her..
This is bad news and never really leads to good things. I've been there, and had a similar situation to yours, waaaaaay emotianally over invested in a girl that lived in a different city, I did sleep with her but it never lead to anything other than me being even MORE invested and acting super AFC which ended in a collossal failure.

Bottom line, lighten up and just have fun with it, DO NOT invest in someone who has not proven that they want to be with you.
I'm not saying not to try to hook up with her but do not EXPECT anything. Don't go all in with your feelings.
 

housedejacques

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Bottom line, lighten up and just have fun with it, DO NOT invest in someone who has not proven that they want to be with you.
I'm not saying not to try to hook up with her but do not EXPECT anything. Don't go all in with your feelings.
I hear you man. Which is why I'm figuring out ways not to make my trip's success depend entirely on her.

The thing is, I'm not looking for a relationship with her. I don't want to fall in love with her and have her come live with me. I want to have fun with her, and then sleep with her. And then come back home and go on with my life.

I have everything straightened out. I'm actually in dire need of technique. Get her drunk, why not? But I'd like to have alternative advice.
 
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