This reply really hit the nail on the head for me, especially because I never even went out with or kissed the girl I need to move on from.
Here’s a little backstory in case anyone else has any advice for me: I work a temporary job for about 2 months every summer and during our 2017 season, me and this girl who started working there a year earlier got to know each other better and we started flirting back and forth at work. About a week after the work season ended, I texted her and failed miserably as I’ve never asked a girl out before and I couldn’t pull the trigger and just do it when I was texting her. I never tried to contact her again and didn’t see her until the next summer and by that time, she had gotten into a relationship and her bf worked there with us, the guy was very abusive towards her but I didn’t get involved because it wasn’t my business. Then the next summer in 2019, she came back but her bf didn’t and we were flirting back and forth again since her bf wasn’t around and probably because she wanted out of that relationship. Looking back at it now, she gave me some pretty clear signals to make a move but I still didn’t because I’ve always lacked the confidence to make a move and have always thought I’ll get rejected every single time no matter what.
What’s happening currently: So she had her first day back at work with us this weekend, first time I’ve seen her since our last work season in 2019. I showed her around a little bit, because we’re working in a new location this year and I did a little bit of lighthearted flirting for old time’s sake just for fun. Then she told me about how her and her last bf who abused her broke up and how he cheated on her too, and that she now has a new bf and is very happy with him. I’m sure she did that to get that point across right from the start, especially because it turns out her new bf isn’t gonna be working with us.
She said that after her and her last bf broke up, she went on Tinder but just to look for new friends. And I think we all know what that really means, she was actually looking for a FWB or ONS after her break up because girls don’t go on Tinder to look for platonic friends after a breakup, its for that or an ego boost/validation. Anyway, she said that she met a guy who also had a bad breakup recently and met her current bf through him, so I’m sure they were hooking up and then saw his friend as relationship material and got with him. I think its good that she found someone better and at least I already knew going in that she wasn’t available.
I actually think it’s probably for the best too because she already lives with him and she told me they’ve only been together for like 6 months. In case you guys didn’t see my other thread, I’m almost 29 and have never been in a relationship, so I definitely wouldn’t move in with my first gf and it would be a lot longer than 6 months even if I did. So if that’s what she was looking for, we wouldn’t have been a good match anyway.
hmmm... I see a newbie in the town of sosuavevillie.
Nothing personal, Just my raw view
A woman would say things you want to hear, you pay attention to her ACTIONS.
WAKE UP!! Signals!! Really so are we all going to wait for the signals to make a move! We are men, we conquer worlds, and we create great structures. We don't wait for signals, weather conditions, etc. ACTION, ACTION, ACTION! That's the key.
ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND: My definition, the guy who gets her wet while YOU: she wets through her eyes.
FLIRTING: women flirt men shouldn't. TREAT HER LIKE YOUR BRADDY LITTLE SISTER.
PUT THIS THING IN THE HEAD: WOMEN DO NOT HAVE HIGHER VALUES LIKE LOYALTY AND INTEGRITY LIKE MEN DO.
Personally, I don't follow any ethics and principles when it comes to women. I couldn't understand the question here. If the question is that you like this girl and want to date her. Just be ****y and funny and later ask her out for ice cream, go on some action date. Don't label it as a date. But if she labels it as just friendship back off. Also as I mentioned, you need to have more plates.
ITS WOMEN'S JOB TO THINK IF THEY LIKE YOU OR NOT. All you need to do is ACTION ACTION AND ACTION.
DON'T BE SHY OF YOUR SEXUALITY.
REMEMBER WE ARE GOING TO DIE ONE DAY. Its up to you if you wish to die with the ghosts of your past asking you questions like what if you did this or that? while you are laying on your death bed. Instead, wouldn't it be wonderful if you just do what you desire rather than thinking too much about things.
Pardon me, I am IGNITER, I love igniting emotions, I hope my words do ignite your soul.