I want to forget the rules, I want to forget the tips! I need to be UNCONDITIONED FF

[Babnik]

I have been thinking and thinking and looking back at all those times I failed and succeeded and now I realize that the only tip I should have learned to be confident with women and thats it...but instead I have been CONDITIONED by these silly, REAL silly guides!

Let me explain...there is time when you have a GUT feeling and instinct feeling that you just need to do something at that moment, and instead of doing it - I stop and analyze what is going on and I try to FIT the situation with one of those guides! These guides CONDITIONED ME! These stupid tips and meanings and analysis completely take all the fun and STOP me from doing what I feel is the right thing to do!

I can give you THOUSANDS of examples of when what the guides say go against of how reality works!

The other night I sit with a girl in a lounge with her friend (another girl) and we have a great convo and its like the whole atmosphere and body language together tells me to "Get closer, kino a bit, its the right thing to do, you both feel it" but INSTEAD I THOUGHT "Its a public place, and we're not isolated, and she will reject me and the fact that we're not on this date with her friend means its not a date at all, and she just wants to be friends" and that THINKING completely changed the picture! It made BOTH people not comfy...

Same night I FELT that she wanted me to get closer and tried but I resisted because I thought of the stupid GUIDES and what they SAY!

So, let me go further...which girls did I go furthest with and had FUN? I had fun and I felt good and I didn't think about stuff they did and what it meant?

Russian/Ukranian girls. Why? Because I'm from that area, and I haven't been conditioned to these games.

I would do THOUSANDS of things wrong, against the guides BECAUSE I assumed they are different and play no games and I can just be what I am.
Do you know what happened? I got them to be interested and to CARE for me. I got them to CALL ME and want to talk to me.

I don't sit there looking in their eyes thinking "I need to look for 3 seconds, then stop, then do this and that" I just look and have GENUINE natural interest and I feel myself EMOTIONAL. And I can get them to feel the same way when I feel that. The feeling passes on! Its like you know...a cartoon where a girl meets a boy and both are excited and big smiles on faces and they want to hold hands.... Thats how its often like.

I cannot get an American girl to do that. I feel awfully cold with them. I feel like...I don't feel at all. I am conditioned by guides to not show emotion, to show I don't care. SH*T DON"T WORK THIS WAY!

I have asked many as to how they view Eastern European guys different and it was a direction question about ME because I knew I was the only they knew.

They said "Manlier, but hard to connect...unapproachable".

There is always that TENSION, its like we talk and laugh but the ice is not broken!

I'm afraid to buy an American girl dinner, afraid to compliment her because girls don't like NICE guys says the guide! Girls don't like P*SSIES who don't show what they want, not nice guys!

Instead of taking girls to NICE fancy places like all other guys do who GET girls, I take them to a coffee shop (which around here are nasty GHETTO).

I don't do things I WANT to do because apparently what I want is against like every guide out there! Its against DJ Bible!

I'm CONDITIONED by these guides about things I should do, want to do, and just do.

Even lately with a Russian girl that I met on FaceBook and talked for like 2 hours 3-4 times a week and then met and we both felt really attracted. I ALMOST blew it by thinking "Only AFC would talk to a girl for HOURS and they don't like it and they only want you as a friend"
NOT F*CKING TRUE!


I do not know ANY guy who is successful with women who FOLLOWS these guides. Heck...they buy girls drinks, they take them out to nice places, they talk to them on the phone for hours!

So, question is - how to UNCONDITION YOURSELF from all this and just go for what you want? How do I forget? How do I not think? How do I go and hug a girl instead of thinking "Is it kino time? Are we isolated?"

 

[bud_2005]

i agree. these guides and advice on this site will mess with your head. just have with it and not be bound by all these chains.

 

[Silkandsteel]

I get where you're coming from mate, I really do. When you feel it, you feel it and all the psychology of right and wrong in the world can't always shut that off, but I think the point is that you remain in control and don't let your emotions run away with you.

A lot of the principles that the guides offer are based around being in CONTROL. Not having fun on a date, over analysing and constantly doubting your natural flow ISN'T what the guides are saying, they are just saying that it's important to not give yourself away completely and be in control and confident.

Unfortunate reality, is most men, once they get that feeling with a girl, go hell for leather and play all their cards. They do this because they're not entirely confident in themselves and think if they just tell this girl everything they want to hear and please them, then the girl will want them and they'll catch her.

It doesn't always work out like that...

Sometimes you get burned and made a fool of and when that happens you doubt yourself even more and start to get introverted and start avoiding situations where it could happen again - dating - for example.

The guides offer a framework on how to be in control, confident and not be one of those guys who plays all their cards on the first date. It's not about denying your feelings or stopping you from making a move, but rather how to make that play successfully and yet still keeping something of yourself to yourself.

Don't be too disheartened, these guides have given a lot of guys INNER CONFIDENCE and helped them to come to terms with heartache and to view their rejections in a more constructive way. The guides are not there to make you unhappy, but rather help you to develop a mindset that will SAVE you from being burned. Everyone gets burned at some point in their lives.

Fact is, attraction IS very much a weird and wonderful thing and many of the guides' principles point out how to create and maintain that attraction...something women CAN'T control. If a woman you're with is attracted to you and you can increase that and maintain it without help, then you're the man...but many can't because they don't GET IT and how it works.

The guides help guys like that to get it, understand it and communicate with it. That's a GOOD thing, for you and everybody else. Thing is, someone who is good with women should never be upset because they're NOT getting somewhere, because they will be...the guides allow for boundaries so that it's HER emotions that are racing and yours remain intact.

I can feel so much frustration from you in this post and all I can see from it is you feel that the guides have stopped you from being happy. I very much doubt that's what the guides were written to achieve man...

Maybe do your own thing for a while, go with what feels right to you and see if your happier and more successful, if you are awesome for you.

Whatever you choose to do, I think it's fair to say the guides have helped you achieve something, even if it's merely understanding how women work - dare I say something that MOST guys have very little knowledge on...

All the best

 

[Babnik]

I get where you're coming from mate, I really do. When you feel it, you feel it and all the psychology of right and wrong in the world can't always shut that off, but I think the point is that you remain in control and don't let your emotions run away with you.

A lot of the principles that the guides offer are based around being in CONTROL. Not having fun on a date, over analysing and constantly doubting your natural flow ISN'T what the guides are saying, they are just saying that it's important to not give yourself away completely and be in control and confident.

Unfortunate reality, is most men, once they get that feeling with a girl, go hell for leather and play all their cards. They do this because they're not entirely confident in themselves and think if they just tell this girl everything they want to hear and please them, then the girl will want them and they'll catch her.

It doesn't always work out like that...

Sometimes you get burned and made a fool of and when that happens you doubt yourself even more and start to get introverted and start avoiding situations where it could happen again - dating - for example.

The guides offer a framework on how to be in control, confident and not be one of those guys who plays all their cards on the first date. It's not about denying your feelings or stopping you from making a move, but rather how to make that play successfully and yet still keeping something of yourself to yourself.

Don't be too disheartened, these guides have given a lot of guys INNER CONFIDENCE and helped them to come to terms with heartache and to view their rejections in a more constructive way. The guides are not there to make you unhappy, but rather help you to develop a mindset that will SAVE you from being burned. Everyone gets burned at some point in their lives.

Fact is, attraction IS very much a weird and wonderful thing and many of the guides' principles point out how to create and maintain that attraction...something women CAN'T control. If a woman you're with is attracted to you and you can increase that and maintain it without help, then you're the man...but many can't because they don't GET IT and how it works.

The guides help guys like that to get it, understand it and communicate with it. That's a GOOD thing, for you and everybody else. Thing is, someone who is good with women should never be upset because they're NOT getting somewhere, because they will be...the guides allow for boundaries so that it's HER emotions that are racing and yours remain intact.

I can feel so much frustration from you in this post and all I can see from it is you feel that the guides have stopped you from being happy. I very much doubt that's what the guides were written to achieve man...

Maybe do your own thing for a while, go with what feels right to you and see if your happier and more successful, if you are awesome for you.

Whatever you choose to do, I think it's fair to say the guides have helped you achieve something, even if it's merely understanding how women work - dare I say something that MOST guys have very little knowledge on...

All the best

The only time when I had a real GF was when I was not following any of this.
As soon as I started to follow them - things got worse and worse slower...

Example...a girl calls me and asks me to go out on a date and I pretend to be hard and reject the date she sets and my own date. She gets mad with "Oh, why not today???" and then...then nothing ever happened. She is genuinely busy and then found another dude who DID go on a date with her when she was available.

Or some girl would compliment me and I would give ****y "I know" and she'd turn around and leave...

Thanks to GUIDES.

 

[Jackman]

You cannot get intimate with a woman without using many of the principles talked about on this site unless you're incrediably lucky. A man who is considered a "natural" applies all of these things, he just doesn't know it or think about it.

The problem here is that you overthink all of it, not that it's all "silly". Overconditioning is your problem. It's a problem with you. All of this is not supposed to be a step by step how to guide. You can do whatever the hell you please. All you need to know is that these things exist, and when the time feels right, you just do it.

I don't recall reading anywhere here that you shouldn't touch a woman because you're in a public place, not on a date and she might just want to be friends. Please. You'll never touch women at all thinking like that.

And as far as the whole Russian/American women thing: I really don't see a hell of a difference at all, and I'm not talking about Russian women who had grown up in the states either. As far as I'm concerned, one has an accent, the other doesn't.

 

[Raikojo17]

I have been thinking and thinking and looking back at all those times I failed and succeeded and now I realize that the only tip I should have learned to be confident with women and thats it...but instead I have been CONDITIONED by these silly, REAL silly guides!

Let me explain...there is time when you have a GUT feeling and instinct feeling that you just need to do something at that moment, and instead of doing it - I stop and analyze what is going on and I try to FIT the situation with one of those guides! These guides CONDITIONED ME! These stupid tips and meanings and analysis completely take all the fun and STOP me from doing what I feel is the right thing to do!

I can give you THOUSANDS of examples of when what the guides say go against of how reality works!

The other night I sit with a girl in a lounge with her friend (another girl) and we have a great convo and its like the whole atmosphere and body language together tells me to "Get closer, kino a bit, its the right thing to do, you both feel it" but INSTEAD I THOUGHT "Its a public place, and we're not isolated, and she will reject me and the fact that we're not on this date with her friend means its not a date at all, and she just wants to be friends" and that THINKING completely changed the picture! It made BOTH people not comfy...

Same night I FELT that she wanted me to get closer and tried but I resisted because I thought of the stupid GUIDES and what they SAY!

So, let me go further...which girls did I go furthest with and had FUN? I had fun and I felt good and I didn't think about stuff they did and what it meant?

Russian/Ukranian girls. Why? Because I'm from that area, and I haven't been conditioned to these games.

I would do THOUSANDS of things wrong, against the guides BECAUSE I assumed they are different and play no games and I can just be what I am.
Do you know what happened? I got them to be interested and to CARE for me. I got them to CALL ME and want to talk to me.

I don't sit there looking in their eyes thinking "I need to look for 3 seconds, then stop, then do this and that" I just look and have GENUINE natural interest and I feel myself EMOTIONAL. And I can get them to feel the same way when I feel that. The feeling passes on! Its like you know...a cartoon where a girl meets a boy and both are excited and big smiles on faces and they want to hold hands.... Thats how its often like.

I cannot get an American girl to do that. I feel awfully cold with them. I feel like...I don't feel at all. I am conditioned by guides to not show emotion, to show I don't care. SH*T DON"T WORK THIS WAY!

I have asked many as to how they view Eastern European guys different and it was a direction question about ME because I knew I was the only they knew.

They said "Manlier, but hard to connect...unapproachable".

There is always that TENSION, its like we talk and laugh but the ice is not broken!

I'm afraid to buy an American girl dinner, afraid to compliment her because girls don't like NICE guys says the guide! Girls don't like P*SSIES who don't show what they want, not nice guys!

Instead of taking girls to NICE fancy places like all other guys do who GET girls, I take them to a coffee shop (which around here are nasty GHETTO).

I don't do things I WANT to do because apparently what I want is against like every guide out there! Its against DJ Bible!

I'm CONDITIONED by these guides about things I should do, want to do, and just do.

Even lately with a Russian girl that I met on FaceBook and talked for like 2 hours 3-4 times a week and then met and we both felt really attracted. I ALMOST blew it by thinking "Only AFC would talk to a girl for HOURS and they don't like it and they only want you as a friend"
NOT F*CKING TRUE!


I do not know ANY guy who is successful with women who FOLLOWS these guides. Heck...they buy girls drinks, they take them out to nice places, they talk to them on the phone for hours!

So, question is - how to UNCONDITION YOURSELF from all this and just go for what you want? How do I forget? How do I not think? How do I go and hug a girl instead of thinking "Is it kino time? Are we isolated?"

man, i feel u on this one, but u cant take these sites literaly. some of this stuff on here is really helpful, and it is true genuine info that works, but some of it is also complete and utter BS, written by dip sh!its who jus get sluts and think they get girls. in reality dating is not some big technique game. it's doin wat u feel and bein confident. these tips on here can help, but use ur own game bro. dont copy these idiots who talk big but dont have evidence to back it. no one says u shouldnt show interest. be all means sho it! sho her u think she's beautiful and u want her, talk to her for hours, that means u toget along well and can stand to be talking for hours, call her a day after u get her number, dont wait a week.. take her to good places if she likes u. dont listen to all those BS rulz, they get u nowhere. if u sit there thinking of wat technique u should use or if it is knio time or not, then ur not doin it right. the only way to uncondition urself from tryin to us rulz and techniques in dating is to jus go out and get experience. find out for uself wat really works and wat doesnt. then u will have game.:box:

 

[Babnik]

You cannot get intimate with a woman without using many of the principles talked about on this site unless you're incrediably lucky. A man who is considered a "natural" applies all of these things, he just doesn't know it or think about it.

The problem here is that you overthink all of it, not that it's all "silly". Overconditioning is your problem. It's a problem with you. All of this is not supposed to be a step by step how to guide. You can do whatever the hell you please. All you need to know is that these things exist, and when the time feels right, you just do it.

I don't recall reading anywhere here that you shouldn't touch a woman because you're in a public place, not on a date and she might just want to be friends. Please. You'll never touch women at all thinking like that.

And as far as the whole Russian/American women thing: I really don't see a hell of a difference at all, and I'm not talking about Russian women who had grown up in the states either. As far as I'm concerned, one has an accent, the other doesn't.

The difference is not in women, but in ME. I'm different with them. Maybe I do those things but they are innate, natural. I don't think about them, I don't think what I'm going to do next. I don't think that if I called a girl today and she hasn't responded in 2-3 days then it means she is blowing me off. I don't think that "I am busy tonight" means "I don't like you". I take it as they say. When a girl calls you and wants to talk to you, she is ATTRACTED to you and making a call where all you do is set up a date and then say BYE leaves everything cold..frigid.

Or I would be on a date and we have a great time and a girl is COLD and she crosses her arms and legs. Well, the gut feeling is "Get closer, hug her, make it warmer for her" but instead I thought "Oh, its a sign of disinterest". HOW STUPID OF ME!

I think all these guides are describing is NATURAL behavior of a confident man, no more or less. If you are confident already - you have these things!

 

[Jackman]

Well, that's sort of the point of this place to begin with. Most guys come here and read into this stuff because they lack this particular confidence that eventually makes all of this natural. Part of the reason we talk about kino is to say, "Hey! It's ok! You're allowed to do that! Here's why...", because most guys who lack confidence will automatically think touching a woman is wrong unless you're halfway into bed with her.

One thing I will agree with though is that a lot of guys here take this stuff too far. I've gone weeks not hearing from a woman yet still ended up in the sack with her. I've had women reschedule hundreds of dates with me that, ultimately, went very well in the end. You just have to take it all with a grain of salt. The most basic and simplistic ideas are all that really matter here. Understanding the basic mechanics behind it all is all you need. You're not supposed to anaylize it in practice. We just anaylize it to understand it, that's all.

Once you have the confidence and skill, most of the "rules" talked about on this site can be broken. Maybe all this really boils down to is that you've just been afraid to start breaking them. There is a continuing evolution in seduction beyond Sosuave, ya know.

 

[Babnik]

Well, that's sort of the point of this place to begin with. Most guys come here and read into this stuff because they lack this particular confidence that eventually makes all of this natural. Part of the reason we talk about kino is to say, "Hey! It's ok! You're allowed to do that! Here's why...", because most guys who lack confidence will automatically think touching a woman is wrong unless you're halfway into bed with her.

One thing I will agree with though is that a lot of guys here take this stuff too far. I've gone weeks not hearing from a woman yet still ended up in the sack with her. I've had women reschedule hundreds of dates with me that, ultimately, went very well in the end. You just have to take it all with a grain of salt. The most basic and simplistic ideas are all that really matter here. Understanding the basic mechanics behind it all is all you need. You're not supposed to anaylize it in practice. We just anaylize it to understand it, that's all.

Once you have the confidence and skill, most of the "rules" talked about on this site can be broken. Maybe all this really boils down to is that you've just been afraid to start breaking them. There is a continuing evolution in seduction beyond Sosuave, ya know.

Very well put. Its like me studying and me working. I try very hard to study and I make mostly As in college, taking hardest courses, honors college, scholarships, and etc. I study international business. Its SO different when it comes down to working. I often find myself I do MUCH better in work-force than in college (its easier, it makes more sense).

The doctor I worked for is one of the best dermatologists in NYC and he made Cs in college, but did better in med school. What he does at work has SO LITTLE to do with his education. People come to him on their knees for an advice, wait until 1 AM to get an appointment with him.

Same can be applied here.


My problem is that I am so conditioned that its hard for me not to think of these rules unless there is exterior force (like a buddy) that would slap me and say "Just ****ing do it, forget other stuff!". I do not have enough internal force to make myself stop. I don't know how tell myself...its like telling myself doesn't do anything...the wrong thought is in the back of my mind while the right one is somewhere else being said...

 

[Jackman]

Very well put. Its like me studying and me working. I try very hard to study and I make mostly As in college, taking hardest courses, honors college, scholarships, and etc. I study international business. Its SO different when it comes down to working. I often find myself I do MUCH better in work-force than in college (its easier, it makes more sense).

The doctor I worked for is one of the best dermatologists in NYC and he made Cs in college, but did better in med school. What he does at work has SO LITTLE to do with his education. People come to him on their knees for an advice, wait until 1 AM to get an appointment with him.

I know exactly what you're talking about. College is ideal, the work force is practical. I had the same problems with college/work myself.

I had taken a class in geographical epidemiology during my freshman year, and half of my grade hinged on semester long research and a final presentation on whatever relative topic we desired.

I decided to focus on the technological advances that are helping to overcome geographical issues with health care delivery. I discovered that the local hospital (this was 10 years ago in a one horse town out in the middle of nowhere) was spending millions upon millions on computer networking with specialists in major metropolitan areas. I went into radical concepts such as Telesurgery. I showed how a friend of mine had a credit card sized heart monitor that her doctor can monitor from his home computer (preventive practices) and so forth.

Anyway, after my presentation, my professor simply said, "Well, what if the power goes out?".

Was I pissed.

I was completely insulted by the fact that this professor tried to get cute with me and throw months of my research out the window with her snobby little smart ass comments, as if she had never heard of generators/emergency backup power. So stupid.

I stood there and said to her, "Yeah, maybe we shouldn't have invented airplanes. After all, what if we run out of gas mid-flight?" (I wasn't exactly smooth with people back then).

I got a D- in that class. I'm doing perfectly fine in the real world. So yeah, I know where you're coming from.

Anyway, if you can't find the reasoning that will allow you to convince yourself, I suggest finding the keyboard jockeys on this site and read what they write. So long as you stick to this practice, you're essentially taking their advice. Eh...who knows...maybe that'll hit a nerve with you. I don't know. You seem like a cool guy to me; know your sh-t. I would think this is a minor problem for you. Just get it done. Just f-cking end it and move on.

 

[grinder]

So, question is - how to UNCONDITION YOURSELF from all this and just go for what you want? How do I forget? How do I not think? How do I go and hug a girl instead of thinking "Is it kino time? Are we isolated?"

Very well: I will tell you: but you, and many who love the sounds of their keyboards more than the sounds of conversations with women, will not like it:

Immediately remove your hands from your keyboard and mouse; hit the power button on your computer; turn around and walk out the door to any place that has people.

Then, talk to them.

 

[Jackman]

Very well: I will tell you: but you, and many who love the sounds of their keyboards more than the sounds of conversations with women, will not like it:

Immediately remove your hands from your keyboard and mouse; hit the power button on your computer; turn around and walk out the door to any place that has people.

Then, talk to them.

It would be nice if you would address people's problems directly instead of using them as an excuse to make yourself look socially inept. Nowhere in this thread has this guy mentioned a problem with being out and about meeting people/women. For all you know he meets more women than you do. The fact that he's already been here, already read this stuff and has a problem getting it out of his head means you missed the boat, buddy. Your advice was practical maybe 6 months or a year ago. Now, it's just vain.

Do you see, Babnik? These are the keyboard jockeys I'm talking about.

 

[Babnik]

It would be nice if you would address people's problems directly instead of using them as an excuse to make yourself look socially inept. Nowhere in this thread has this guy mentioned a problem with being out and about meeting people/women. For all you know he meets more women than you do. The fact that he's already been here, already read this stuff and has a problem getting it out of his head means you missed the boat, buddy. Your advice was practical maybe 6 months or a year ago. Now, it's just vain.

Do you see, Babnik? These are the keyboard jockeys I'm talking about.

Yeah, what he said is kind of true, but its different because I need to get out there with an OPEN head.

I should listen to other guys around me who get girls because I know they get them for SURE.

Nobody here can prove that he isn't a geek virgin sitting in front of a PC masturbating and playing World of Warcraft, mentally convincing himself that he is Alpha...


HELL, I should have listened to my mom's advice "Just get out there and hang out with girls and learn from guys who get them". I was never RAISED to be an "AFC" with the mindset of being real nice to women. I was raised in Ukraine where "Boys don't cry" is emphasized more than anywhere. My own mother doesn't say "Find a sweet girl, and be her BF and love her to death" instead she says "You know...very few relationships go without cheating and its not as easy to find someone special." and "There is nothing wrong with sex for relaxation as long as its safe, and with just a few girls you trust".

Girls themselves tell me I look "Manly, different from feminine guys in US" which def. means something!

My problem original was the problem of APPROACH and that I was ugly...which turned out completely the other way around. I was depressed...really depressed.... and I got out of it (without pills, without therapy, it just age...).

Just need to STOP STOP STOP thinking about what each thing means and forget it all!

In MY CASE, I CAN be myself, just the confident self!

 

[Sean O]

Example...a girl calls me and asks me to go out on a date and I pretend to be hard and reject the date she sets and my own date. She gets mad with "Oh, why not today???" and then...then nothing ever happened. She is genuinely busy and then found another dude who DID go on a date with her when she was available.

Wow... I never thought I'd see anyone take this stuff to THIS kind of extreme.

The purpose of playing "hard to get" is to ultimately get her to want to call you. She did call you, and you, being overconditioned, as Jackman said, decided that it would be SoSuave of you to turn her down so that you seem like a challenge. The problem is, being too much of a challenge makes chicks think that you're uninterested, and as a result, YOU get nexted!

Something you have to understand about the vast majority of the information on this site is that it is intentionally written to be overcompensating. The reason for this is because most AFC character traits exist in an extreme form when they exist at all, and knowing this, the authors of many of the articles and threads on this site figured that normal, rational advice wouldn't be enough to break these traits. Thus, they gave extreme advice on the one end, which, when blended with extreme AFCism on the other end, was supposed to leave the reader somewhere in the middle. However, their theory was wrong, and as a result we have quite a few people on this site in your same situation. They implement the tips they read here, only to find that things are made worse in many ways. They don't realize that they've simply taken everything too far.

Anyway, now that you know this, you're already on your way to "unconditioning" yourself. However, there are three categories of material on this site that you should NOT try to unconditon yourself from. They are:

1) Inner game material
2) Material on embracing your sexual masculine nature
3) Material on female psycholgy

I would say that female psychology, while decidedly helpful, is far less important than embracing your sexuality and building a solid inner game. This is because sexuality and inner game are the MOST important traits to have when it comes to attracting women! Sure, it helps to look good, and without a compatible personality relationships won't work, but without embracing your sexual nature and having inner game, at best you'll only get your foot in the door. THIS is why they are most important. In fact, you can flat-out make a point of NOT doing all these little tricks and tactics like neg-hitting, being C+F, and playing hard to get, and if you're a sexual being with a tight inner game, you'll still pull chicks rather consistently.

One last thing...

Or some girl would compliment me and I would give ****y "I know" and she'd turn around and leave...

Yeah, no wonder she left. You looked like a self-absorbed @sshole when you said that. The WORST thing you can do with C+F is take it too far! 'Cause this is what happens in the end.

 

[Babnik]

Wow... I never thought I'd see anyone take this stuff to THIS kind of extreme.

The purpose of playing "hard to get" is to ultimately get her to want to call you. She did call you, and you, being overconditioned, as Jackman said, decided that it would be SoSuave of you to turn her down so that you seem like a challenge. The problem is, being too much of a challenge makes chicks think that you're uninterested, and as a result, YOU get nexted!

Something you have to understand about the vast majority of the information on this site is that it is intentionally written to be overcompensating. The reason for this is because most AFC character traits exist in an extreme form when they exist at all, and knowing this, the authors of many of the articles and threads on this site figured that normal, rational advice wouldn't be enough to break these traits. Thus, they gave extreme advice on the one end, which, when blended with extreme AFCism on the other end, was supposed to leave the reader somewhere in the middle. However, their theory was wrong, and as a result we have quite a few people on this site in your same situation. They implement the tips they read here, only to find that things are made worse in many ways. They don't realize that they've simply taken everything too far.

Anyway, now that you know this, you're already on your way to "unconditioning" yourself. However, there are three categories of material on this site that you should NOT try to unconditon yourself from. They are:

1) Inner game material
2) Material on embracing your sexual masculine nature
3) Material on female psycholgy

I would say that female psychology, while decidedly helpful, is far less important than embracing your sexuality and building a solid inner game. This is because sexuality and inner game are the MOST important traits to have when it comes to attracting women! Sure, it helps to look good, and without a compatible personality relationships won't work, but without embracing your sexual nature and having inner game, at best you'll only get your foot in the door. THIS is why they are most important. In fact, you can flat-out make a point of NOT doing all these little tricks and tactics like neg-hitting, being C+F, and playing hard to get, and if you're a sexual being with a tight inner game, you'll still pull chicks rather consistently.

One last thing...


Yeah, no wonder she left. You looked like a self-absorbed @sshole when you said that. The WORST thing you can do with C+F is take it too far! 'Cause this is what happens in the end .

Except that this is what is being advised almost everywhere...and as soon as I post that everyone who posted the advice suddenly says "Oh, you were too harsh!"

 

[Sean O]

Except that this is what is being advised almost everywhere...

There's a reason it's being advised everywhere, bro. It works. Very, very well.

...and as soon as I post that everyone who posted the advice suddenly says "Oh, you were too harsh!"

Are you referring to your habit of saying "I know" to chicks when they compliment you?

 

[Babnik]

There's a reason it's being advised everywhere, bro. It works. Very, very well.

Are you referring to your habit of saying "I know" to chicks when they compliment you?

I am saying that being ****y turns girls off and you say it works. Well, it DOESN'T. Not for me!

Almost all the time when I see someone asking what to do when you are complimented then answer is to say "I know" but that does NOT work.

So, now that I post this, same people will say "its too much" and they are the once advising it!

Heck, the polls said that more than a half of people here are virgins and the other half had less than 3 girls...

 

[squirrels]

The tips on this forum don't say to be aloof and detached. That's just the way certain people interpret them and it's been blown out of proportion and made absolute.

 

[Production6257]

Or some girl would compliment me and I would give ****y "I know" and she'd turn around and leave...
QUOTE]


HAHAHA!! I just had to laugh at this one because it is SO true. And I have been so badly conditioned by this site that I can't stop. I would definitely say to follow your gut most of the time, and this site should really only be for entertainment purposes only.

 

[mrRuckus]

I cannot get an American girl to do that. I feel awfully cold with them. I feel like...I don't feel at all. I am conditioned by guides to not show emotion, to show I don't care. SH*T DON"T WORK THIS WAY!

American women are not women. They are some 3rd gender that thinks they are men while ferociously trying to hold onto the benefits that real women enjoy.

They are thus miserable.

Stick with foreign women. At least they appreciate a man.