I just started hooking up with a friend of mine named Elena.
Here's some background information. I'm sorry that this is long but I feel a full story is needed:
I met Elena in December. She is a cousin of a good (female) friend of mine. I didn't see her again until February, when we hooked up and we continued to hook up sporadically through March and April.
In April I decided I was getting too attached to Elena so I set out to meet and seduce Maia. Before hooking up with Maia for the first time I called Elena just to make sure that we were still in a no-strings attached relationship, mostly because Maia and Elena went to the same school and I was looking to avoid a huge confrontation. She said it was fine, we chatted for a little bit, and then I set something tentative up with her.
Later that week Elena cancelled on me and I hooked up with Maia. Over the course of the next two weeks I called Elena two or three times without receiving any kind of response. She stopped IMing me and I decided that my phone call had upset her and she didn't want to see me anymore.
Fast forward two months. Maia and I are dating and I bring her to a party a friend of mine is throwing. Elena shows up with her cousin looking for me, sees Maia and I together and gets really upset and leaves.
Strange, to say the least. She contacted me that night, we fought for over an hour and finally I told her to leave me alone. At Maia's prom I made up with Elena and we became friends again (of course, I had the intention to hook up again once Maia and I broke up in early June).
Elena and I begin talking two or three times a week, and throughout our conversations she reveals several things to me.
1) I'm the best hook up she's ever had.
2) She finds me very attractive.
3) She really likes me as a person.
4) She wants to have sex soon.
5) She wants to come over to my house when my parents are away for an evening of drinking.
6) She sees me as a challenge because I never displayed any of the puzzy whipped traits that her ex-boyfriend and former hook ups have.
So we made plans in early June for her to come over to my house on July 4 in order to give me a prize for being a great kisser. I initiated none of this, it was all her.
On Monday I picked her up, and it was strange. My palms were sweaty, my mouth was dry no matter how much water I drank, and I was extremely nervous. It was terrifying. And exhilirating. I kissed her and we made out for an hour, alternating between talking and kissing. I didn't try to escalate because I didn't feel the need to. She revealed to me that she wanted me to take her virginity, and that once again she wanted a strictly no strings attached relationship.
On Monday we made plans for her to come over on Friday and then the following Monday. On Friday I called her, and when she called me back she let me know she could come either Friday or Monday, but not both. I told her to come Monday, because my parents would be out and she could spend the night. She agreed and we hung up. She messaged me today letting me know that she can't come tomorrow. Small apology. No counter offer. She also hasn't contacted me unless I've initiated it in the past week.
My diagnosis would normally be low interest, expect for the things she says to me when we're together. She's clearly an attention whore and a sunshine girl, but she's also a lot of fun and against my better judgment I like her a lot.
So, I'm not exactly sure how to proceed from here. Normally if a girl flaked on me twice in one week and didn't make any counter offers, I would cut my losses and move on, but her actions in the past and things she's said to me indicate that she has a steady interest in me despite all of the shit that has happened between us and regardless of how often she sees me. So I know that if I stick with what's going on now we'll hook up again.
She strikes me as the kind of gal who hooks up fairly frequently with guys, but only once or twice. From what she's said to me I gather that I'm her most steady "relationship" other than the one she had with her ex-boyfriend. So she may just be inexperienced and unsure of how a fvck buddy relationship is ideally supposed to work.
So, advise me fellas. Sorry for the ramble but Elena is really quite unlike anything I've ever seen. She doesn't get emotionally attached and push for a relationship and she's often difficult to read. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. I feel like an idiot if I keep setting up get togethers which she then flakes on, but I know that there's still interest there and I'd be quitting too soon if I cut the strings now.
My first instinct is to let her know to contact me when she has some space in her schedule, because this girl is always busy. But then again, no response might be appropriate as well. I'm not sure what to do here while still maintaining the power in our friendship (because that is really what it is). I'm reluctant to put the ball in her court because she has expected me to lead in the past (as I believe I should).
thanks!
Here's some background information. I'm sorry that this is long but I feel a full story is needed:
I met Elena in December. She is a cousin of a good (female) friend of mine. I didn't see her again until February, when we hooked up and we continued to hook up sporadically through March and April.
In April I decided I was getting too attached to Elena so I set out to meet and seduce Maia. Before hooking up with Maia for the first time I called Elena just to make sure that we were still in a no-strings attached relationship, mostly because Maia and Elena went to the same school and I was looking to avoid a huge confrontation. She said it was fine, we chatted for a little bit, and then I set something tentative up with her.
Later that week Elena cancelled on me and I hooked up with Maia. Over the course of the next two weeks I called Elena two or three times without receiving any kind of response. She stopped IMing me and I decided that my phone call had upset her and she didn't want to see me anymore.
Fast forward two months. Maia and I are dating and I bring her to a party a friend of mine is throwing. Elena shows up with her cousin looking for me, sees Maia and I together and gets really upset and leaves.
Strange, to say the least. She contacted me that night, we fought for over an hour and finally I told her to leave me alone. At Maia's prom I made up with Elena and we became friends again (of course, I had the intention to hook up again once Maia and I broke up in early June).
Elena and I begin talking two or three times a week, and throughout our conversations she reveals several things to me.
1) I'm the best hook up she's ever had.
2) She finds me very attractive.
3) She really likes me as a person.
4) She wants to have sex soon.
5) She wants to come over to my house when my parents are away for an evening of drinking.
6) She sees me as a challenge because I never displayed any of the puzzy whipped traits that her ex-boyfriend and former hook ups have.
So we made plans in early June for her to come over to my house on July 4 in order to give me a prize for being a great kisser. I initiated none of this, it was all her.
On Monday I picked her up, and it was strange. My palms were sweaty, my mouth was dry no matter how much water I drank, and I was extremely nervous. It was terrifying. And exhilirating. I kissed her and we made out for an hour, alternating between talking and kissing. I didn't try to escalate because I didn't feel the need to. She revealed to me that she wanted me to take her virginity, and that once again she wanted a strictly no strings attached relationship.
On Monday we made plans for her to come over on Friday and then the following Monday. On Friday I called her, and when she called me back she let me know she could come either Friday or Monday, but not both. I told her to come Monday, because my parents would be out and she could spend the night. She agreed and we hung up. She messaged me today letting me know that she can't come tomorrow. Small apology. No counter offer. She also hasn't contacted me unless I've initiated it in the past week.
My diagnosis would normally be low interest, expect for the things she says to me when we're together. She's clearly an attention whore and a sunshine girl, but she's also a lot of fun and against my better judgment I like her a lot.
So, I'm not exactly sure how to proceed from here. Normally if a girl flaked on me twice in one week and didn't make any counter offers, I would cut my losses and move on, but her actions in the past and things she's said to me indicate that she has a steady interest in me despite all of the shit that has happened between us and regardless of how often she sees me. So I know that if I stick with what's going on now we'll hook up again.
She strikes me as the kind of gal who hooks up fairly frequently with guys, but only once or twice. From what she's said to me I gather that I'm her most steady "relationship" other than the one she had with her ex-boyfriend. So she may just be inexperienced and unsure of how a fvck buddy relationship is ideally supposed to work.
So, advise me fellas. Sorry for the ramble but Elena is really quite unlike anything I've ever seen. She doesn't get emotionally attached and push for a relationship and she's often difficult to read. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. I feel like an idiot if I keep setting up get togethers which she then flakes on, but I know that there's still interest there and I'd be quitting too soon if I cut the strings now.
My first instinct is to let her know to contact me when she has some space in her schedule, because this girl is always busy. But then again, no response might be appropriate as well. I'm not sure what to do here while still maintaining the power in our friendship (because that is really what it is). I'm reluctant to put the ball in her court because she has expected me to lead in the past (as I believe I should).
thanks!