I want to be the TOP DOG, the Pack Leader

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Just one thing....

If the pack leader dies, who takes over his place? If the top dog dies in a fight another one takes his place and more than likely he will be doing the job right. He might do the job right, he might not. More than likely he is being groomed to be the next one. He might not be true alpha but nonetheless be quite adequate for the job if the task is done right.

Quality in everything you do......

 

[organizedconfusion]

Just one thing....

If the pack leader dies, who takes over his place? If the top dog dies in a fight another one takes his place and more than likely he will be doing the job right. He might do the job right, he might not. More than likely he is being groomed to be the next one. He might not be true alpha but nonetheless be quite adequate for the job if the task is done right.

Quality in everything you do......

you're not planning on killing your bestfriend are you? :nervous:

 

[organizedconfusion]

examine the root of your desire to be pack leader or alpha- you will find the roadmap to sucess there...

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

you can't be alpha in every situation but it seems the best alphas know that and can gracefully accept that while still maintaining an air of power around them even when in the company of people who at that moment and place are higher status for a particular task than he is

 

[MindOverMatter]

just be yourself. Pursue interestes to better yourself for the sake of being a better person, not because you need other people's approval of your superiority (cause that sh!t gets old).

What I'm saying is, if you are working out and doing muay thai (two of my main past times) to be fit and in good conditioning for sake of being a healthy human being, then you're on the right track. But if it's all for the fact you want people to see you as some Rambo-like alpha, then you are trying too hard and the only thing people will see is a deep insecurity.

Also, being a security guard or a bartender isn't a position of power. bartending will get you some easy ass, but it's not a living (and i speak from experiance here). As for a security guard, where i live people usually see them as cop-wannabes without guns.

position of power means you have the peace of mind of not having to answer to anyone. a guy who starts his own business and becomes a multi-millionaire before he's even 30 has this position of power. he can drop whatever he's doing and take the next plane to wherever he feels like going. the guy who's fixing him a martini does not have that position of power. he's just a servant, who's still struggling to pay rent and achieve financial independance while scoring some easy ass here and there to make himself feel better.

if i were you, i'd focus less on trying to be a college alpha and spend more time on studying sh!t that will earn you bread once you graduate. because before you know it, you'll be graduating, and all those douchebags you impressed will be insignificant to you and you'll have bigger sh!t to worry about then silly college reputation.


peace

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

No don't be silly I wont kill him....he still owes me $12.75

examine the root of your desire to be pack leader or alpha- you will find the roadmap to sucess there...

Yes it is a strong desire. There's no Ill do this tomorrow or some day it happens right now. It's not about winning others' approval because as much as I did that a lot in my younger days, it made me miserable and useless.

When there was no approval I began to realise these people come and go, they eventually turn to dust. Meanwhile my "self" will be with me, stick by me through ALL times and trust my own judgments. I've got my own "self" to impress, a hunger that only I can satisfy.

Cloud, you are right. Now that you mentioned it, everyone always has a superior before them. It is a fact no matter how high you think you are. I know I can accept the fact that someone is always higher up than me at the moment or higher than what I could ever be. I will be inspired by, providing they climbed up the ladder in an ethical way. I couldnt care less if someone says I'm somebody's b1tch. The fact is I am doing this for myself and the result is everyone gains from it. I can still be a good leader to provide for someone higher than I am. I will not needlessly contest for power for the sake of status or privelege. I will only go for what my instincts tell me.

Mindovermatter, your experience is very insightful. Working out and muay thai has been the source of confidence. Since I got good with that I've been with less fights than ever. Not that I tell people I do it but it is a sense of being mature not to get involve in needless contest for who's more macho. It is also a great source for refreshing and exercising the mind and body, pushing yourself to the limit. The coolest people go there to.

With security it is a different training compare to beefcake bouncers. We tend to go towards event, premise check and places where sh*t could go down like accidents, fires and collapses and we sort of have to take charge of everything that happens (make sure it is "secure").

Bartending is good for building personal growth. You get to improve on people skills, banish anxiety and other skills that are fun. It is also good for meeting "Big Dogs", as they may have a job opportunity for you just waiting. My friend recently got himself a job that pays 3times more. He was bartending and was talking to a customer. They got along well and the customer was impressed by his work ethics and on the spot asked him if he wants to work for him. I've had good job opportunities from this venue. This ain't a living but a a way to find endless opportunity. The ass is just the bonus...being able to flirt endlessly. I got my security job through bartending and most of my new friends are from meeting them at work.

You don't see the power in these? You are not looking at the big picture. It's all about starting small and being flexible. I have saved some money and gained experience. Think about it...The people I meet are usually rich and have some business they run. They might need employees. I can go anywhere around the country and get most jobs and get started. Bartending, security, paintball staff, child care, teaching, tutoring, personal trainer, hospitality. It's all about flexibility and being able to adapt quickly. Being versatile is important to survival. I've networked around places and people are keen to employ me or to help me out one way or another. You might not see the power in it but it makes all that difference.


Reputation means jack when it comes to this. Most people from my college go away in such short stays. It's not how they are satisfied and impressed. It is the process on how I set myself goals and achieving it. So what if I found out I aint the real deal, at least I've come close to my purpose and meaning rather than sitting down doing f*ck all. Where is the glory in that.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

POWER:

"By power is meant every opportunity/possibility existing within a social relationship, which permits one to carry out one's own will, even against resistance, and regardless of the basis on which this opportunity rests."

More generally, one could define "power" as the more or less unilateral ability (real or perceived) or potential to bring about significant change, usually in people’s lives, through the actions of oneself or of others.

Most "power" examples you usually see is superficial and materialistic. Power can come in either a small scale or on a global scale.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

That was someone elses definition..I cant remember the name

 

[musclyjerk]

I realise this is a good trait for some people. Some people choose to be kings some choose to be peasants.

If your plane or ship crash lands into an remote island. Who would you be? Coconut-gatherer? Fisherman? Berry-b1tch? Or the one sitting on top of all the supplies, food, women and weapons?

I am slowly working my way up. I dont quite know where I am but here are some of the things I have done in order to get there.

Literature: 48 Laws of Power, Way of the superior Man, Playersupreme stuff. Self-esteem books.

Physical Training: Muay Thai, Weight training, Rugby Union, Boxing

Position of Power: Jobs doing Security, Bartending, Paintball. Recently became president of college.

By these I don't mean bossing people around, hogging all the good stuff. abusing what little position of power you have.

I want to be that guy who everyone looks up to. Like if I can't do it nobody can. Fearless, confident and aggressive while generous, kind and loving at times.

At the moment I have some kind of "ranking" up the ladder at my college. Working on some kind of reputation and respect from everyone. Leadership, organisation and charisma are some of the things I wam working on.

I think is this the one thing I could strive to do. My meaning, purpose, my calling.

Somehow I don't feel complete being the peasant.


What do you want to be?

Honestly? It all sounds rather pathetic.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

I am somewhat in the middle. And I feel much better. I dont have to look for others for approval because most of the work I do no one ever gets to see. And I dont care. They might not know who was responsible but I have this personal satisfaction that's fulfilled.

Which part sounds pathetic?

Muscly Jerk what is your purpose? Just by looking at your page I can see what things you are into to build your identity. Where do you stand? Obviously you would have something working for you, effortlessly.

I dont need to prove anything. However I can write down what worked and what didn't. This is my kind of reflection. Take it or leave it. Leave your negative comments elsewhere.

 

[musclyjerk]

What sort of alpha sits around thinking and over-analysizing almost to the point of (or beyond) obsession? If you're confident then your real personality will shine through, whatever that may be.

I just don't think what you're trying to achieve is healthy and have witnessed several ex-friends of mine destroy their identities in the process of trying to be <somebody> with a painful desperation which stemmed from 'issues' that had they addressed properly, wouldn't of lead them on the destructive and isolated path that they chose.

Perhaps I'm just bias because of that - who knows.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Hey man I value and respect your input. I am not trying to be alpha at all...Just pushing things to a healthy limit. I am not obsessed and I am being careful not to be consumed by this drive.

I know what you mean when people destroy their identities in this process. I've seen guys who are power hungry they spend all their time brown-nosing up to the superiors and wasting all their time trying to establish authority where people do not respect authority in the first place. He must have daddy issues. He became a bouncer and used all his cash and time to get juiced up and put on massive muscles. And for what? So he had a false sense of power and authority? His friends are all other gym junkies and "superiors". He is a pawn in the game and easily replaced by another meathead.

I've taken what you've said into consideration. If I've only reach an average level of achievement, fine I can walk away gracefully knowing that people destroy their own identities when they push themselves too much. I have you to thank for that.

The difference is, that I want to do this for myself. I want to reward myself. I don't need a special commendation at the end of the year. All I want is the satisfaction of doing things right and enjoying the fruits of my labour. I want to have fun while doing so.

I still keep my sense of "self" if I still have my good friends with me not alienating them. Keep my grades higher. Widen my social circle and network. Broaden my opportunities and options. Be versatile and flexible. Keep a healthy state of wellbeing is also important. In a way I am still being myself, but my *BEST* self.

That's the differance between me and you EX-friends.

Most people think I am trying to be "somebody" but they never knew who I was before, hell I didnt know either. But the ones back home who try put me down are still in the same limelight they think they still hold from high school...That was 6 years ago and still holding on to it. They are still bums living at their mothers. They put me down while I am at training, at work, with girls, just having fun etc while are drunk stumblin around after the next government paycheck.

I do have issues...I can admit that. Thats why I am improving. It's nature's way to tell you there is room for improvement and you have to embrace that. I promise you, musclyjerk, that I will keep this on a healthy and positive level even if it grows on a slow pace.

**I will be on a 3 week trip to Philippines, Beautiful Motherland. They say home is where the heart is. I'll be checking this when I can. So keep them posting and have a happy new year.

 

[CLOONEY]

Clooney thank you for taking the time to do this.

How would you know you were a born leader unless you put yourself in a situation that requires the skills of a leader. You can be born a leader and all those traits do not come out until later. As you said about the kingpins they lost their touch after school.

There is a great chance that I am not alpha, but that is not going to stop me from working hard to achieve the same accomplishment. Who knows.

The hypothetical situation the you said about my "alpha" friend...well he's done them already. Put him in a gym with big guys, he is only 5'5 but he is far stronger than most people twice his size. The big guys have complexes. The bigger guys say that he ain't sh*t. He simply says if he was as big and tall as them he would've achieve twice as much as them. He has already achieved much more than he's given credit for, and I've seen it with my own eyes.

Put him in a situation he is not familiar he will try his hardest until he fails. And when he walks out he still carries a sense of pride. No excuses. I've been best friends with him for over 5 years. I doubted him as much as everyone does, but he smashes it with actions rather that egotistic blabber.

Yea he has slept with that many women...I've seen most of the girls he's been with. I live with him no girl stays overnight for "movies" these days. No lie.

But bottom line is. I am working towards it. No matter what. I am not creating myself into an alpha, just seeing if I have what it takes by throwing myself on to challenges. Once again who knows....at least I'll achieve something by doing something 90% of this board won't do and just doubt anyone.

Exactly, you do not know you are a born leader until you are put in the situation.

As for your friend, I am not talking about your average meat head in the gym, I train with two time Mr Olympia and trust me, he has no complex. Neither do most of the other very competitive strongmen and bodybuilders at my gym. He would NOT be alpha with them, I can guarantee.

I have also trained with Kostya Tszyu, De La Hoya, Gonzalez and Jorge Paez, he could train with them, and walk out with a sense of pride, but he would not be an alpha. That is my point, which you are missing. Trying your hardest, walking out with sense of pride is not alpha, but you cannot be alpha in all situations, depends a LOT on your skills and experience in the area.

Someone said it perfectly in another short reply to your thread, very short and to the point, I will quote it after this post.

As for the woman his slept with, Im happy you are trying so hard, its good to see someone with so much zest for life and determination! Go for it! But trust me, sleeping with a lot of woman will not make you happy, infact quiet the opposite. You will be left empty, but that is another story. And again, 70 before 18, if that is true, his doing better than everyone on this site, and anyone Ive ever known! I cant buy that, sounds more like a kid with an ego than reality. I know one guy who was something else with the ladies, and he had 50 before 18, but half were fat, drunken sl*ts. If thats an accomplishment, then go for it!

 

[CLOONEY]

you can't be alpha in every situation but it seems the best alphas know that and can gracefully accept that while still maintaining an air of power around them even when in the company of people who at that moment and place are higher status for a particular task than he is

There it is! Exactly!

 

[Disconnect]

I've been on a similar path, but taken a wrong turn early on and ended up alienating alot of people while reducing myself to an empty shell with a false sense of identity. As someone mentioned, it started off with the inner feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose, a good start, but I tried too hard to impress everyone. I did all the right things for all the wrong reasons, and people saw through the charade.

Not everyone is an alpha, and those who are cannot be every possible alpha at once (an ever-cherful outgoing party boy, or a determined and driven leader, or whatever other definition of the top dog you have). Even though anyone can become one of those with enough perseverance, will they be happy? Which is why you see or hear about the guys who crashed hard in their quest for self-improvement. They look at others and try to imitate, instead of looking at themselves and seeking THEIR OWN true potential. Let me explain: you may be no Donald Trump, but you're a pretty fvcking good Tyler Durden. If you listen to, say, your friend, who says Trump is the real alpha, not only will you never go as far as him, but you will suffer with every step. One must learn to identify AND COME TO TERMS with who they are and what they are 'meant to be'. Not to say that you can't 'be anything you want'. Quite the opposite: don't try to be what you don't want. This is similar to carreer choices. For instance, if your true passion is cooking, do not listen to your parents who are trying to make you study for a proctologist. Sure, you'll make lots of dough (provided you have the drive to push yourself through 11 years of school), but will you be happy sticking your finger up guys' asses for the rest of your life?

This is my mistake, and I'm still recovering. I should have asked 'what kind of person do I WANT TO BE', instead of 'what kind of person should I be according to what people think an alpha is'. So now I'm asking myself this question, and trying to figure out the answer.

 

[Disconnect]

Hmm. Writing the above post really helped me clear some things up. I don't think I've ever sat down and gave good thought to this subject, until now. Perhaps an explanation of my goals is in order.

This sounds ridiculous, but anyways... for some reason, I wanted to be a popular kid in high school. The 'for some reason' is there because I pretty much hate every aspect of their life. The getting drunk (I'm into looking jacked), the girls who don't have 2 brain cells to rub together, etc. I know that not every popular kid was that way, but that's just what I wanted to be. Now I know that I just wanted to be accepted, to have people I could depend on (pretty rare), and being accepted into the 'popular clique' was the only kind of acceptance I recognized. So I tried acting like them; basically I changed my behavior accordingly, joined a ton of teams and clubs, and it didn't work. Lots of wasted effort. I graduated 2 years ago and now am in uni.

I wanted to be alpha, and in high school, being the party boy WAS alpha. They were the only kind of alphas I have known. Now, looking at the big bright world, people seem to be going in different directions, with as many different kinds of alphas. Even the smart computer nerd who knows unix inside out is considered an alpha (by people who care). The best football player is an alpha as well, even though he is not recognized as such by people who don't like football or jocks. Just look at G. Bush. He is the fvcking president, arguably in the highest position attainable, and yet so many think he's an idiot. In the end, it's impossible to impress and influence everyone.

That's why there are many kinds of alphas. If your plane crashes on the island, that's just one situation to consider, no different from the football field or a computer science contest, in a sense that one alpha will surface, but it does not make him a 'better' alpha, just more suited to that situation. The other passengers of the plane may be alphas in their own way, a way that does not fit the scenario of a deserted island.

It feels like I'm rehashing the posts of others', so I'll wrap it up. In essense, the above 2 posts were me thinking. This site is good for that . I think this kind of exercies has a name in psychology, but I can't remember it.

 

[Disconnect]

you can't be alpha in every situation but it seems the best alphas know that and can gracefully accept that while still maintaining an air of power around them even when in the company of people who at that moment and place are higher status for a particular task than he is

That 'air of power' seems to be humility.

 

[Last Man Standing]

you're not planning on killing your bestfriend are you? :nervous:

Hahaha, that was funny!

Yeah, Rudy wants to be the "Top Dog" and I think there is just one dude in his way!

 

[counselor]

^Rudy TubeSteak^both you and Clooney have valid points.. and I think both of you are correct. Because leadership is not some thing one could define, Lets consider Ali for example, he was not only a great boxer but also a great leader, giving a shining example of what a black man could be. He braged, he dated white women, he changed his name, faith, and even defined the goverment by protesting the draft.

But was he great boxer because he was great leader, or was he a great leader because he was great boxer? I happen to believe the latter, of the two. Rudy TubeSteak, Im sure you can recall one of the 48 Laws of power is to cultivate as much attention on your self as possible. In order to do that in a postive way one must be superior than all his competion. I think this is what CLOONEY was trying to point out.

But also we have to consider the fact, that Ali was not born with knoledge to become who he became. You can bet he worked at it to become the GREATEST, even though he was gentically inclined to excell at his sport if he was unwilling to exert the effort in his training would he have become as great? Correct me if im wrong, but this is your sentiment right, Rudy tubesteak?

 

[Oxide]

Observe what your alpha friends do and how they do it, that is how you learn.

I was going to write about this "air of confidence" but you guys got it. I've seen this many times with guys I admire - when put in a new situation they would first ACCEPT that they don't know wtf they are doing but they are willing to learn and then BEFRIEND the leaders and let the leaders move him up by teaching them.

I know I am the sh1t now, and I am smart enough to know there are people out there who are more skilled at a lot of things and are better than me.

Say I am put on an ocean fishing boat. I have never been on one, yet alone seen an ocean. what I would do is first ask question and let the guys teach me. Then I would do a good job and strive to have fun, while letting my fun social personality win people over. Soon enough I'm on top with these guys. Remember, you don't have to be THE main event, having alpha friends who are just as cool as you is fine, it's actually more fun I think


To win the men, get the girls
to win the girls, leadf the men


And Mind, god damn do great minds think alike. I was just thinking about when I was a bartender. I didn't have the position of power. Sure, some girls ogled me because I was behind the bar, but I HAD TO ALWAYS KEEP MYSELF IN CHECK WITH THE CUSTOMERS. Or my boss would chew my ass. Do you know how many times I wanted to say "Wow you are retarded AND cheap, get the fukk out of here" But I couldn't. Stop looking for fake ways of attaining this alpha mindset.